Oliver didn't come back the next day.

Or the day after that or the week after that.

What do I expect? He has school. He can't always go out of his way to spend time with me. But after what he told me the last time we saw each other, a dreaded sense of helplessness sat in the pit of my stomach. All I could do was hope that he cut off ties with that shitty math teacher. Still, that might be virtually impossible, considering the fact that Olly was required to take his class and everyone that knew of what was happening didn't care enough to help. How could they live with themselves?

I haven't exactly left the house lately either. Nearly the entire population of Roseorn was still obsessed with having my head on a silver platter. I hate feeling trapped like this. And I hated not knowing how Oliver was doing even more.

I should check on him.

Ignoring Chewy's objections against my decision, I grabbed Mrs. Nicklewitch's coat and marched out the door towards Roseorn. The sun had just begun falling out of the sky by the time I left. It was a Saturday, so that means he should be home.

The path through the forest was completely clear of any debris or scatterbrained animals. As I hurried through the city, most of the typically busy citizens had been out of the way of my beeline to the Gotō Family Mansion.

A few lavish cars sat in the spotless driveway.

Dammit. I can't just bust through the door and sniff around freely. There had to be some other way in.

I circled the perimeters of the manor to find a few loosely opened windows covered by heavy velvet drapes from the inside. If I choose the wrong room, that could be the absolute end of me.

Bouncing between decisions, I settled for the darkest window with no remnants of light seeping out between the drapes. Nobody could be sitting around in the dark, right? If they were, they may just take my title for Scariest Person in Roseorn.

I slid the window open as quietly as possible, slipped in, and slowly shut it behind me. The room I ended up in would've been pitch black if it wasn't for the filtered rays of sunlight from outside. Even so, my eyes had to adjust to the sudden change in light. The marble floor beneath me was smooth and shiny and cold. A pristine chandelier squeaked to and fro above my head.

In front of me was a large, antique grand piano.

As if my body wanted to move on its own, I found myself moving closer to it. My claws tapped away at the keys, playing the only thing I barely knew -- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

"O-Oliver."

"You say something?"

"I'm-I'm Oliver. I-It's...It's nice to meet you."

Immediately, a tight aching band panged around my head.

I've been here before.

I played the song again.

"Next Beethoven, amirite?"

"Do you even know how to play the piano?"

"Not at all. What? You got somethin' better?"

And again.

"Hey, uh, Olly?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Don't worry about it too much, okay?"

"Okay..."

"A-And if it makes you feel any better...it wasn't bad at all."

My legs gave out as I fell away from the piano.

Oh shit. The thing that triggers my human contact...

It's my own personal closure.

I remember it now. At the Spring Dance, I held Oliver in my arms. The way the colorful lights in the room reflected off of his enthralling eyes had me fascinated. No one else around us mattered. He was the most beautiful human being that I've ever laid eyes on. My whole world revolved around him back then. I had wanted to pour my heart out to him in that moment. I wanted a redo on that kiss especially. I was so sure he liked me back. Hell, I was so in love with the thought of him loving me too. He was sweet and sensitive with a thoughtful open-mindedness that only came from having a genuinely good heart. It felt like I'd die if I didn't let him know that I saw him as more than just a close friend.

And when I did eventually pass away, the thought of never being able to see Oliver again had weighed heavily on my heart.

Now I finally have that second chance.

Even if we can't ever be together, getting everything off my chest could be good for both of us.

I have to tell him.

There's only one place he would be when the sun was setting.

Tip-toeing out the piano room, I snuck around the corners of the hallways to get to the monstrously large doors leading up to the roof. All that was between me and Oliver was that never ending staircase. C'mon, legs, don't fail me now.

I bounded up the stairs and to the roof door.

You can't chicken out this time, Dibs. Both of our lives depend on it.

Turning the embroidered knob, I pushed the door open to be met with the blinding light of the setting sun.

Something small hit my toes.

A bright orange bottle of spilled pills prescribed to someone named Lucia Gotō.

I couldn't look up. I didn't want to.

When my vision finally cleared, I saw...

Oh God...

Please don't make me say it...

                                                                                        I don't want to say it.  

                                 I want to erase it from my memory like everything else.

                Please don't make me...

Gray eyes.

Empty gray eyes.

I felt sick looking at the stiff body laid out on the AC box.

His now cold, dry blue lips were devoid of their rosy red color. Foam and vomit had leaked out of his mouth. His hair was entirely black with no sign of its once vibrant purple hue. Red scratch marks clawed their way down his throat.

I took hold of his scarred wrist to feel his pulse.

Ba-bump.

Ba-bump.

Ba-bump.

Ba...

...

He's gone...

Oliver's gone.

I don't know why I called his name. I don't know why I screamed and cried and hugged him close to me. I don't know why I promised I wouldn't leave him.

I don't know why I still told him I loved him.

Nothing felt like enough.

His freezing fingers didn't feel like enough between mine. His icy cheeks felt like nothing but hard flesh. Nothing I did could make him feel real again.

I couldn't bring him back.

No matter how many times I tried to use healing magic on him, his eyes remained bland and unfocused and gray.

Why didn't I check on him yesterday? Why wasn't I there when he needed me? He suffered. Because of me, he suffered. If we hadn't met, he'd still be here...he'd still be here...

As I sat there, wailing and cradling Oliver's soulless body in my arms, the roof door swung wide open.

Toni.

I couldn't hear what he said. Even as he hollered and screamed at me, my ears remained deaf with grief. Angry tears had streamed down his face as he shoved me over the edge of the railing.

I didn't fight.

I let my own numb body plummet down all four stories.

Oliver disappeared out of my line of sight. For good.

Blood poured from the back of my head when I struck the ground. Skin scraped off my arms, legs, and face.

Bodyguards and maids had been sprinting towards me.

My only thought was to run.

I raced down any open street I could reach. My jumbled mind couldn't focus on any specific spell to teleport me anywhere. The clearest image that my brain kept coming back to was of empty gray eyes. Lifeless, empty gray eyes.

What the hell do I do? What the hell do I do?

My feet fumbled, sending me tumbling down the sidewalk.

A rough hand grabbed my forearm and dragged me into the alley. I tried to kick and punch and bite, but they held me down. That same dirty hand slapped over my mouth.

"Calm down! Calm down!"

Mr. Ernie?

This is that same alleyway we met. The one he lives in with his family.

He removed his grimy palm. "I thought that was you, kid. What the hell happened to you? You look like shit."

I clutched onto his jacket pathetically. "You've gotta help me! They're after me! Please, I don't know what to do, Mr. Ernie! You have to help me, you have to help me, please!"

Mr. Ernie looked back at his wife and kid before turning back to me. "Yeah, kid...I'll help."

Furious footsteps were speeding towards us.

"Thank you, thank you..." I sobbed and hugged him briefly. Everything's going to be okay. But I couldn't feel relief like I hoped I would. Not after feeling Oliver's pulse fade away between my claws.

Mr. Ernie hauled me up to my feet and suddenly tore off my coat.

"Wh-What are you doing?!"

Before I could slash at him, he shoved me forcibly into the street.

"I found him!" he shouted. "I found Diamondback!"

The entire city's attention was on me. Thousands and thousands of eyes. More eyes than I've ever seen in Roseorn. The world was at a stand still. Gasps and shrieks and wrathful shouts were thrown at me. I wanted to cry and lash out, but my body only caved in on itself as I clenched my pounding temples.

The horde of citizens crowded in on me, inflicting any type of pain on my body that they could think of. I sank to my knees, allowing them to take out their frustration on my tired figure.

Grief, betrayal, agony. So much fucking agony.

I tried.

You can't say I didn't.

I really, really tried.

I don't deserve closure. Monsters don't deserve happiness. Striving for goodness and moral purity isn't the role I was meant to play. This is where I belong. Hated and ridiculed. I need to give in to what they want me to be. I need to be the monster they want to hate.

I want to bask in their shrieks and cries.

I want to devour their mercy.

I want to bathe in Roseorn's blood.

The red gate beckons for me.

I can't ignore it anymore.

It's my time to go through.