36. The burdens I bear
Alison sat on the floor, her legs curled up as she wiped a tear. Behind her Esther slept on the bed and she tried her best to not let the sound of her muffled crying wake the child up. In front of her was a photoframe she always kept on her desk and by her bedside — of her and Chaerin from when they both graduated university.
As she looked at the picture, her eyes fixated on Chaerin's face. The picture smiled back at her and in that moment Alison realized how much she had changed. She recalled her recent meeting with her ex-best friend and as her past and present face juxtaposed, it dawned on her that this was a completely new woman that Alison didn't know. But was she even in the position to complain? When the reason behind all this were her actions.
Beside her, her phone pinged. Countless emails and calls from her employees and lawyers were going unanswered. She had to save woolworks but she didn't have an ounce of energy within herself to do anything. She curled her legs tighter. She knew Chaerin didn't actually care about the company. All she wanted was to get back at her and despite that she couldn't get herself to hate the woman.
She was going to bear any punishment Chaerin wanted to inflict on her because deep down she knew it wouldn't have gone downhill had she not accepted Jungkook's proposal. But hearing Esther sleeping behind her safe and sound made her realize that maybe she didn't actually regret that.
"I am sorry", she spoke in a whisper to Chaerin's photo on the frame. "I turned you into something that you should have never become. And its all my fault"
She heard some rustling behind her and realizing that Esther might wake up, she immediately wiped her cheeks and stood up to leave the room. When she reached her office, she wasn't prepared to see Jungkook sitting inside with all of Woolworks files open in front of him. He was writing something but looked up to face the woman. Alison could sense the whirlpool of emotions on his face. Conflict, desperation and pain— he had always been an open book.
"Is Esther alseep?", he asked softly. Alison nodded. "What are you doing?"
"I am trying to find a way to stop Chae—", he paused as the atmosphere turned tense with the mention of her name. "Stop Grace from taking over Woolworks. There might be a clause or something in these legal documents or something in the Company act to help protect us from the forceful takover"
"Its futile", the woman said, looking at him blankly. "Chaerin does her homework. You know that. She wouldn't come unless she knew there was a clear victory. If you think reading these thick legal books or stacks of documents is going to help you find a trick, you best know she has already read them as well", with that she smiled sadly. "Twice probably"
"There has to be a way", Jungkook replied slightly frustrated. "Are we just going to let her do this? I agree we hurt her, especially me. And I am willing to do anything she wants me to do. But does that mean we let her take away what you have worked so hard for? What example does that set for Esther?"
When Alison didn't reply, he continued. "For your sake and for our daughter's sake we cannot let her win. There is no forgiveness for our actions and maybe we will always owe her a debt. But it cannot come at the cost of our families. Her problem is with me and you, not them. They owe her nothing"
"Did we not take her family away?", Alison quietly asked, her eyes brimming with tears at the thought of the funeral from seven years ago. "Did we not completely crush any hope she had left? Did we not abandon her all these years? Do you even know what she might have gone through? The rage she carries tells me she was hurt deeply. She wears her scars and they say a lot about her sufferings. And more than that she was betrayed by two people who she loved with all her heart. Maybe I should let her takeaway everything she wants. Thats the least I can do..."
"You know it was an accident", Jungkook spoke his voice softening as he stood up. He walked to where Alison was and stood in front of her. "Dont blame yourself for things that aren't in your control. If you keep doing this, you'll damage yourself beyond repair"
"Its hard", Alison replied more tears rolling down her cheeks. "Its hard living with the burden of my actions"
"It happened and we did what we had to. Let's focus on what is about to come. I know even within Grace's tough demeanor somewhere there is the Chae we know. And maybe one day she will forgive us. But till then, let's fight to protect the people we love"
Alison nodded as she closed her eyes. Jungkook wiped away a tear on her cheek with his thumb as he went back to the desk to resume her reading. "I know one person we can talk to", she said and looked at him. "And maybe he will be the one to put an end to this"
"Who?"
"Jimin"
———•••———
It had been seven years since Jimin has seen Alison or his ex-bests friend's sister. The funeral was the last time they had been around one another. Jimin always saw her as Taehyung's sister and Chaerin's friend and there was never a real relation between them. And after what she did marrying Jungkook, all he could see her was as a someone that back stabbed his sister. So when he got a call in the middle of the night from her asking to meet, everything within him wanted to yell profanities at her and end the call on her face but something said he should go and so here he was, waiting at a private dinner room in a restaurant he owned.
He took a sip of his wine as the door opened and a man escorted Alison inside. The atmosphere turned tense as the woman could feel the anger radiating off the man who hadn't spoken a word at her sight. She bowed slightly and Jimin looked away, trying his best not to roll his eyes.
"Thank you Jaehyun", he nodded at the manager who closed the door behind him.
"How are you Jimin—"
"Get to what you are here for. I know this is something related to my sister and that is why I came. So its best if we skip to the material"
"Right", Alison looked down, half expecting this reaction. "We need your help", Alison began. "To talk to Chaerin and stop her"
"And what reason do I have to side with you and go against my sister?", he raised an eyebrow.
"You know what it will do to her", the woman softly added. "The revenge that she wants is going to hurt her and leave her very damaged. I know what we have done cannot be forgiven. Even though we had our reasons, nothing can justify it and we will always be the ones who wronged her. But in order to get back at us, she is going for our families and that is not something we can sit back and watch"
Jimin didn't say anything and took a sip of his wine. He knew within him that Alison was a 100% right and that Chaerin's actions were severe.
"You are the only one she will listen to", Alison added. "Maybe you can convince her to put an end to this"
After a pause she continued.
"You have no reason to help us, I know. But you love your cousin a lot and as an elder brother you have always looked out for her. The reason you are listening to me is because you know she is not headed for the right direction. We aren't friends anymore but I don't want her to end up even more hurt and damaged"
"I cannot stop her even if I want to", Jimin replied. "I don't want to do anything that will make her consider me her enemy. I have found her after seven years. Maybe all these years you guys were able to sleep okay without caring about her but I wasn't. I have suffered everyday and now that she is finally safe and sound at home, I am not going to lose her"
Alison felt like a stone was stuck in her throat. "But is she safe and sound though?", she looked up. "Is this all going to bring her peace? What happens once she takes everything from us. Will a few hundred million dollars bring her satisfaction? Or will seeing us lose our business give her back all these years and reverse the pain she has felt? She will keep resenting us even if she takes every last dime from me and Jungkook. Because money was never the solution to her problems. She can earn all that and much more without us. Its not revenge she seeks. Its closure"
Jimin gulped down his wine as he slammed the glass back on the table. It was frustrating sitting here and listening to Alison. Because she was right. For the first time he felt like he sided with her more than his own sister.
"And what closure will you give her?", he spoke. "Will you leave Jungkook so she can get back with him if she wants to? Don't you have a kid? Will you be able to see her live with the man you have called husband for the past seven years"
"I won't come in their way. I already made that mistake once and I am not looking to do it again. I took something that was never mine and when the time comes, I am prepared to return it. Esther is young and still has me. All I want is for Chaerin to end this madness and hear us out once. For her sake and for our own"
"I'll do what I can. But know that I am only helping because its Chaerin I am concerned about", Jimin pushed his chair as he stood up.
Alison's eyes traced his and she nodded. With that Jimin walked towards the door to leave. Alison wanted to say something. She knew this was her only chance and Jimin might never want to see her again. So overcoming her discomfort, she spoke. The man had already opened the door and was headed out but stopped as he heard Alison say something.
"He misses you. A lot. I can see him physically suffer knowing that he has no one he can rely on. Me, his family, Jungkook and Arin. All of us have disappointed him in some way. He years for love, of any sort. Its been seven years Jimin. How long will you punish him for a mistake that wasn't his to begin with"
Jimin stood there clutching the door knob tightly as he heard this. He moved his neck slightly to glance at her and Alison was already looking at him. He knew exactly what she meant. Tears welled up in his eyes but he dare not let her see them. Sniffling his nose, he softly replied.
"Tell him that the wait time at his restaurant is pathetic and I am not going to stand in line for an hour again to eat. But the food tasted good. He has come a long way. From not knowing how to boil water to running a god damn restaurant. I'll look forward to the holiday special menu they advertised"
With that Jimin left the room. Alison smiled a little to herself as she heard this. She knew it was true friendship when amidst the breaking of the bond, there was still love that couldn't be removed, no matter what.
———•••———
Chaerin removed her heels as she walked into the suite of her hotel. She glanced at the menu to order dinner through room service but nothing appealed to her. She sighed as she looked around to see if there was something else in the kitchen but nothing caught her eye. So she put on her sweats, removed her contacts and tied her hair into a barely there ponytail to walk down a few blocks to the street stall that sold her favorite spicy rice cakes.
Navigating Seoul was hard when she had been away all these years. A few minutes of getting lost ultimately led her to the place she invaded most at night to secretly buy herself a midnight snack without her parents knowing.
The lady at the stall seemed older and seeing her made Chaerin smile a little. She walked upto her and placed an order for her dish. "Extra spicy with more sauce and no greens from the spring onions. And please add some cheese at the top"
The woman smiled and began making the food. Something struck her about this peculiar order which made her look up. "I remember this request". She looked at Chaerin intently before bursting into a smile. "You! You used to come here a lot. And ate so much", she chuckled. "With that handsome man who had big eyes"
At the mention of Jungkook, her face fell a bit but despite that she smiled. "I guess the man's not around anymore but I am here"
"Eh he smelled like trouble any way. Handsome men always are", the old lady chuckled. "Where did you go all these years?"
"I left the country", she quietly replied. "Came back and remembered how much I loved your food. No fine dining can ever compete with this"
The lady chuckled and continued stirring the food. Once it was upto her desired heat level, she handed her a box with her food. When Chaerin offered money, she declined with a scowl. "You kept asking for free soup on the side when you used to come and now you want to pay even before I can tell you the total? No paying today, its on the house"
Chaerin smiled and grabbed a pair of chopsticks to sit down. "Kid", the lady began which made her turn around. "Its good to see you. You haven't changed at all"
As she heard this words, something went off in Chaerin. Why did the lady say this? She clearly changed. Everyone saw it. She liked her new self better. Than why did people keep bringing the past up? What did she have to do to erase Chaerin off people's minds and replace her with Grace?
She looked at the box in front of her, clearly having lost her appetite. Grabbing it she walked out of the stall and towards her hotel. She entered into the premise and headed towards the elevator when a bellboy stopped her.
"Miss there is someone waiting for you"
Chaerin was surprised to hear this because barely anyone knew where she lived. Jimin walked towards her as he eyed the woman before eying the food in her hand. He raised an eyebrow before breaking into a small chuckle.
"Shall we", he pointed at the bar. Chaerin glanced at him before walking there without responding. Taking their seats in the empty room, she began.
"I thought you didn't want to talk to me. I have been trying to get in touch for a week and you don't respond. Then you show up where I live"
"You are right I contemplated this a lot", Jimin replied. "I didn't want to talk to Grace. Seems I ran into Chaerin though. With her oversized clothes, glasses so thick they can crush an elephant and a serving of food in hand which can feed three people. Of course this is for you only, I assume?"
At this Chaerin rolled her eyes before leaning back in her chair.
"Grace is me", she replied. "No matter how much you hate that, she is the reason I am the woman I am today. And it has taken me a lot to reach here and I am not going to let any one invalidate it"
Jimin shook his head. "Grace is just a front that you created to protect Chaerin. That is not you, no matter how much you convince yourself or others. I think she has served her purpose enough and now she needs to go. You cannot let her take over the real you Chae"
"Are you here to argue with me about my personality? Jimin I have stuff to get done and I rather not do this. You are still my dear cousin and best friend. If you get around to accepting Grace than let me know or else I will have an answer"
With that she stood up to leave. Jimin slammed the table as he stood up. "Chae, stop this madness. You are destroying yourself and people in this process. You don't have to do this. Leave Alison and Jungkook alone. It has been seven years now"
As soon as she heard this, Chaerin turned back to look at Jimin. "Leave Alison and Jungkook alone? Did you just say that?"
"Yes", he firmly replied. "Enough with this revenge thing. You need to leave both of them and their families alone. I don't think you see what it is doing to you. It is eating you up slowly and making you into something that none of us recognize. Maybe one day you'll look in the mirror and not recognize your own self and by that time it will be too late"
"So you want me to continue being the pathetic woman that was easy to manipulate and take advantage of?", she hissed. "And when I suddenly started standing up for myself, I am now a monster?"
"That Chaerin was never pathetic", Jimin hit back. "People's actions aren't reflective of you but their own selves. Its not your fault you went through this. But what you are doing now is a hundred percent on you"
"Spare me with the quotes Jimin", she scoffed. "I do not care how pathetic I am now. I know what I went through and I am not here to reason with anyone. Maybe if you really knew me and knew the burdens I bear, today you'd be standing with me and not against me"
"Chae", Jimin spoke softly. "I am always with you and that is why I am being like this. Even if you hate me and think I am taking sides. Do you have it in you to destroy families and live with the brunt of it for life?"
"I HAD A FAMILY TOO", she yelled. "AND THEY ARE THE REASON MY PARENTS AREN'T WITH ME. DO NOT SPEAK TO ME OF DESTROYED FAMILIES JIMIN WHEN YOU LIVE HAPPILY WITH YOUR PARENTS WHO LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN FATHOM"
"You know it wasn't their fault", he softly countered. "What happened to uncle and aunt was purely fate and not someone's doing"
"They would have never gone there if it weren't for what they witnessed", she replied, hot tears rolling down her eyes. "They were on their way to the wedding venue. The car crashed three miles outside of it. It was their fault and they will always be the people that killed my parents. They are the reason I don't have them with me right now"
"Chaerin, do you know that Alison and Jungkook have a kid?", Jimin asked. Seeing as to how the woman did not reply and was unfazed, he figured she must know about it.
"Are you okay putting the child through the same thing as you went? Taking away everything the parents have which will ultimately affect the child? Will you be able to live with that? Do you think you will be able to ever face your parents after you do that?"
At the mention of her parents, she went silent and looked away. Jimin could see her trying to keep herself in check and avoid having a full blown breakdown. He hated what he was putting her through right now but he needed her to have this turmoil and battle with her own self to see what she was doing.
"Chae I just need you to know that—"
"Jimin", she looked at him. "Leave"
"What?", he asked confused.
"I said leave. I know what you are doing and why you are doing this. I will not be guilt tripped into doing anything much less giving up what I have waited the past seven years for. I think at this point we are both done with each other and its futile to keep reasoning. You'll never understand me and I will never agree with you. Guess we have drifted apart"
Jimin sighed as he looked at her. "Chae", he tried to control his tears. "I'll leave if you don't want me around. I know you see me as a villain. And I am okay being one if that means saving you from become something you regret. Know that you'll always be loved no matter what. You were my baby cousin and you will always be that. I am sad that you see me as a nemesis and not someone that will go to any lengths to protect you— even if that means protecting you from yourself. But", he took a pausa. "I am hopeful. I know the real you is still there somewhere, battling your inner self to stop this madness. And I will wait for that Chaerin always. If you ever need me you know where to find me"
With that he left. Chaerin stood there, shaking, as she tried her best to not breakdown into a sobbing mess. Why couldn't people just understand her? Why was it this hard to get the people she loved to realize the damage she had gone through?
A/N: Chaerin's villain arc here feels like Wanda's from Dr Strange MoM. Both villains battling their own cause and revenging their families. I don't think some people realize how hard it is to let go of pain you have been influcted in the past. It is very easy to label either as the bad guy but I guess you only see their suffering when you put yourself in their shows. I think its easier said then done to forgive people and forget things like some readers or viewers expect the characters to.
Let me know if you agree with that if you have seen the movie!?
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