Taehyung had been discharged from the hospital in a week just like the doctors promised. He was recovering well, and the other three took turns, making sure he didn't move too much - despite his never-ending cries of 'I'm fine!'.

Scar - the Director - was able to find out where exactly the gang had been keeping the girls, and they decided against waiting to invade the warehouse. Sooner than later.

However, Jungkook and Jiah had suggested they talk to Seokjin before they move forward. They hoped that they could trust him enough to get him on board, possibly let Taehyung stay out of it (while Taehyung insisted he was okay, Jiah didn't want to take any chances).

So they set out to Seokjin's house without telling Jimin or Taehyung, arriving in the dead of the night.

Although there was an eerie silence in the air, the dim light in the corner of the house confirmed there was someone awake, and so they proceeded to knock.

The door opened a couple of minutes later, the man they'd been meaning to speak to appearing, wearing an annoyed expression. However, that expression dissolved into what seemed to be confusion when he registered their faces.

"Hey guys?" question in his tone, he slowly stepped from the door to let them in, "Is everything alright?"

The truth was, they hadn't seen him since Hoseok's memorial, and they didn't realise he could have looked any worse than then.

Now, his hair was a dishevelled mess, and not one from troubled sleep; it looked as though he'd been continually pulling at it for weeks. Bloodshot eyes resting upon wrinkled cheeks; a combination caused by sleepless nights drinking away his sorrows.

"Hey, hyung," Jungkook muttered, walking behind him and Jiah followed suit. They quietly scanned the room, empty beer cans and takeaway containers were discarded throughout.

They thought their grieving process was bad - this was worse.

"How have you guys been?"

"Not as bad as you've been," they sat down on the couch - after Seokjin had moved paper bags and metal cans from it, "Are you even looking after yourself?"

"I'm trying to manage the best I can," he frowned, "How about you guys?"

"We're getting there," Jungkook spoke on behalf of them both, knowing that Jiah was thinking too much to speak. And he knew what she was thinking.

We can't ask him for help. Not when he's this much of a mess.

"Is anything wrong, though? It's a bit worrisome that you came at this hour-"

"Yeah," Jiah sighed, "We've meant to ask you how you've been, but we were so busy."

"You haven't been holding up that well, is your partner being a good sport? Is he helping you?"

"I try not to talk to him if I can," he let out lowly, "I've asked for a new partner, but I don't think I'm getting one - so I've just been trying to limit all conversation with him if I can."

"What?" Jiah furrowed her eyebrows, in Kkangpae, your partner was your everything. She couldn't imagine going a single day without talking to Jungkook.

"I can't trust him anymore, the bastard. I fucking hate myself for trusting him in the first place."

"Hyung, what happened?"

Seokjin shook his head, eyes falling to watch his fingers pinch at his skin.

"How am I supposed to live knowing my brother suffered such a dreadful incident? How I know it's all my fault and I couldn't - didn't do anything to stop it?"

"Hyung..."

"I've been running away from the truth for so long, but I'm already cowardly enough. I need to admit it to you both, to myself; not only did Hoseok join Kkangpae because of me, but he also died because of me too."

The gasp that left Jiah's lips, paired with the whites of Jungkook's knuckles as he tightened them into fists made him pause, causing his lips to tremble.

"It slipped when I was talking to Jiwon," he continued to explain, tears tumbling down his cheeks now, "I was so excited that I could finally leave this shithole and I was telling that asshole about it- he told our capo, and they did what they do best. Fuck, Hoseok died because of me- I killed him."

Jungkook's body lunged forward, and Jiah could tell he was about to throw his fist in his direction, but she stopped him. Pulling him back down to the seat, she faced Seokjin again.

Instead, they sat there in silence, neither one of them wanting to speak. Everything he had just said built war in her head, finding a home in the corner of her mind. She didn't know what to say or do to make anyone feel better.

So they just sat there, watching him.

The image of him breaking bit by bit, fingers biting at each other, weeping non-stop, repeating the same words over and over again pricked at her.

"He died because of me- I killed him."

Why was that all so familiar? Why did that image seem all too real for her?

Here, it was Seokjin whispering those words, feeling that anguish. But she couldn't help but think in her bones that one day that might be her, too.

--

"Okay so he's out of the fucking question," Jungkook's temper had been hidden over the last few days, Jiah almost forgot he had it.

"Jungkook," she warned, "Language."

"He's the reason Hoseok died! If that asshole just kept his mouth shut-"

The conflict in her mind was already loud enough; she didn't need this.

"Shadow, are you listening to me?" she snapped her eyes to him, "You said you were gonna kill whoever did that to Hoseok, and here we are just walking away?"

"Jungkook please, let's go," putting the helmet on, she sat at the front of his motorcycle, not wanting him to drive with the temper he's absorbed, "I'm over it."

"How can you say that Jiah? He-"

"He made a mistake, Jungkook-"

"A mistake that cost Hoseok his life, Jiah, Hoseok would still be-"

She didn't want to snap at him, but it was getting hard not to. The storm - the fucking hurricane - in her head was getting too loud. She could barely hear her own thoughts over the screams she always directed at herself.

You're not worth it.

You're ruining Taehyung's life.

You can never love him as he deserves.

"I can't believe you're just walking awa-" Jungkook's words were slowly seeping into focus again, and when they did, she immediately swivelled the motorcycle to the right, stopping it at the curb.

Hopping off, she turned to him, "Shado-"

He pursed his lips together, taking in a deep breath as he looked to the ground. Tilting his head as he looked to her this time, he examined her frown, shaking his own head.

"Actually," he got off the bike as well, taking her helmet and putting it on himself, "I'll drive the rest of the way."

"No, Jungkook that's not-"

"I know, but you've got too much on your mind, and I'm not making it any better. C'mon, I'll drive."

He sat back down, patting the space behind him.

While she wanted to argue at first, she felt her body oblige.

Sitting down, she slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head into his shoulder.

"Let's take the long way home," his voice was barely above a whisper, but he knew she heard it.

It wasn't a long ride from there, but they soon found themselves parking at their usual getaway. Up on the cliff, watching the world as it slowly fell asleep.

"Jungkook, why are we here?" she asked, as he got off the motorcycle and hung the helmet on the handles.

"I wanna talk about it," he stated simply, taking a step backward, "You've got a lot on your mind, and I'm here to carry it with you."

She furrowed her eyebrows, watching him sit down at the edge of the cliff.

"Jiah," she heard him groan, tapping the ground next to him, "Come here."

Sighing, she listened. Every step she took closer to him was another thought bubbling to the surface.

You're a monster.

You don't deserve to be happy.

You can never redeem yourself.

Flopping next to him, he held his hand out for her. Frowning, she turned away and stared at the orange stretches before her.

Yellow wisped in gold clouds splattered throughout the sky, orange streaks lingering throughout. The stygian darkness that was sure to follow with sequinned stars haunted her.

Warmth overcame her hand at that moment, and she knew it was because Jungkook had taken it in his own.

The imperial view before her, she realised, was a promise. It was a reflection of the dawn to come. Tomorrow the sun would rise again, and she would get another chance at life.

Another chance to redeem herself.

No.

You'll never get there.

You're too far gone.

A gasp.

Jiah felt her lungs constrict, begging for air. She took in a deep breath, tilting her head back and clenching her hands tighter.

A soft whine left Jungkook's lips at the sudden squeeze of his hand, but his eyes grew wide as he turned to Jiah.

Heaving deeper and deeper, she tried to regain composure, not noticing the infinite tears tumbling onto her cheeks.

"Jiah," he whispered, wiping them as they came, "My God- I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier, I'm so sorry."

Shaking her head, another puff of air left her as she resigned to herself. She was so fed up with being herself.

She was so fed up with being a monster.

"Man," he said softly, "Even when I'm fine, I feel your pain."

Slowly, she turned to him, watching as he stared into the distance, eyes filled with distress.

"I guess this is my job, isn't it?" a small chuckle, "I wanna talk about it, Jiah. I'm not asking you if you want to talk about it, I want to talk about it."

"This isn't-"

"If you're stuck in your head, I'm going to meet you there. If you've run out of words, we can make it up. So you're going to get talking."

"It's okay, Jungkook."

"You know I'll never be somebody you have to try and please," he offered her a smile, turning from the edge of the cliff and facing her fully. Crossing his legs, he took her hand in both of his. "What is it that's weighing on your mind, Jiah?"

Silence. And it was a heavy silence.

Jiah couldn't find words; there was nothing she could say to explain what was going on in her mind.

He's always going to be in danger because of you.

You don't deserve to be happy.

You don't deserve his love.

"I just don't know if I should be with Taehyung," looking down at their hands, she continued, "I just don't think he's the one, you know?"

"What?"

"I don't really know if-"

"If you're saying you and Taehyung aren't meant to be then I'm going to give up on believing we even have someone made for us."

"It just doesn't feel right, you know?"

"No, no, I don't. Because I know you and him are perfect for each other. You love him more than anything or anyone else in the world, and he feels the same for you. So there's something else."

She was silent again, then.

So he spoke again.

"When I think about Jimin, my heart instantly fills with joy. He's such a nice guy, always making it his mission to make everyone around him happy, that's something I truly admire about him.

"But what about me? I've done so many bad things in the past; I could never ask for someone as loving as him to include me in his life.

"Are you thinking the same thing? Are you worried your mistakes deem you unworthy?"

"I'm a shit person."

"The same person who waited outside in the pouring rain for two hours because I left my phone at home? The girl who wrote up notes for five of my classes because I missed one day of school? The one who rode a motorcycle even after being stabbed twice in the stomach to get me to the hospital? And don't even get me started on all the sacrifices you had to make for Ji Young."

She stayed, trying to absorb all that he had been saying, the storm still roaring through her ears, however.

Jungkook smiled sadly, "I hardly think you're a shit person. We've found ourselves in a shit lifestyle, living in the same shit cycle over and over again.

"But I see your heart. It's begging you for a new chance, Jiah. Your heart is aching to love, and that's why you fell so deep, so hard for Taehyung. You deserve a second chance."

Staring down, she watched her thumb rub against the back of his hand.

She couldn't say a thing; the screams just continued to get louder and louder.

They sat for a while, the onyx sky enveloping the previous orange hues, clouds replaced by glimmering lights and a faint crescent moon rising in the distance.

Slouching, she pulled her hand away from Jungkook's, turning and resting her head into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Maybe we can learn from our mistakes," he whispered and, while her thoughts were roaring, she heard him, "It takes some pain to be alive."

With that, she closed her eyes as she felt him press his lips into her hair.

"You were always the stronger one, constantly protecting me. I was worried you'd never let me look after you as you did for me. So thank you for letting me show you how much I love you."

She still didn't say anything, but he knew what she wanted to say.

I love you too, Jungkook.

--

Jungkook dropped Jiah off at Taehyung's apartment before heading back home to check up on Ji Young.

The door opened almost right after she knocked, Taehyung's figure appearing in the doorway.

All this time she hadn't known what she was going to say to him or what she was going to do when she saw him. But when she lay eyes on him, it was as if he had just breathed a whole lot of life into her tired body.

It was like magic, she watched the dull grey in his eyes turn five shades lighter, somehow turning to glitter at the sight of her.

He's always going to be in danger because of you.

You don't deserve to be happy.

You don't deserve his love.

The skin cornering his eyes crinkled like paper and she would have been lying if she said she missed the way light gleamed through it.

You're a monster.

You don't deserve to be happy.

You can never redeem yourself.

One of the most breathtaking smiles blossomed on his lips of crimson orchids, and it was hard not to let it infect her.

You're not worth it.

You're ruining Taehyung's life.

You can never love him as he deserves.

Shut up.

The more she listened to it, the more she realised it was her own voice telling her she was useless.

And she was so done with feeling guilty for loving this man.

She was so fucking fed up with telling herself her love wasn't worth fighting for.

How long was she going to put herself down? How much longer was she going to deem herself undeserving?

She wanted to love Taehyung so badly; she wanted to embrace him with her whole heart stripped bare.

It's begging you for a new chance, Jiah. Your heart is aching to love, and that's why you fell so deep, so hard for Taehyung. You deserve a second chance.

Her actions got her to where she was. But was she going to listen to the voices in her head for the rest of her life?

Was she going to allow herself to embrace Taehyung with all the broken happiness, all the fractured goodness she had left in her?

Was her love worth fighting for?

Yes.

Because the only person who's to forgive her at this point is herself.

And maybe she's at the point that she could start to do that.

"Hey, sweetheart," Taehyung's worried voice brought Jiah out of her trance, eyes immediately finding him again.

Always finding him.

"What's bothering you?"

She shook her head, one hand promptly caressing his cheek before whispering, "Taehyung."

It still burned her lips to say his name out loud.

Every time she said his name, her heart sung; I love you.

"Jiah," he grinned, taking a hand and hugging her waist to bring her closer while the other hand closed the door behind her.

"Have I ever told you how pretty your name is?" she asked, this time letting his infectious smile get to her, "Taehyung."

"Your name isn't any different," scrunching his nose, he rubbed it against hers, "Jiah. Beautiful, just like you."

Just maybe she could forgive herself.

Maybe.

Maybe she could love him the way he deserves to be loved.

"What were you doing while I was gone?" she asked as they walked in, tearing from him.

"Waiting for you to come back."

Her love was worth fighting for.

Was worth fighting herself for.

"I'm here now," brick by brick; she felt her walls come tumbling down. Sure, she already knew Taehyung had somehow torn down that concrete wall she had built around her heart before. But now, she truly felt like she was letting go of some extra load weighing her down.

As if she only needed to forgive herself for her walls to fall.

Spinning in a circle, she was becoming weightless.

"What do you want to do?"

"What's gotten into you?" the smile on his lips never faltered as he walked to her and captured her hand in his, spinning her once again before pulling her flush into his chest.

Her breath caught in her throat, blinking a few times to look up at him.

"You don't like it?"

"Never said anything like that," swaying her gently, he let go of her hand and hugged her waist, "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," she followed his lead as they waltzed around the living area. "Why do you ask?"

She wanted this.

She wanted this so badly.

She wanted to continue to hold this man in her arms for the rest of her life.

To etch her fingers across his cheek and draw pictures from the small moles on his neck for all her days.

To wrap her arms around his neck and dance around the living room whenever she wanted.

To pepper little kisses on his collarbone, his chest, his arm - she wanted to imprint all her love onto him.

She was tired of breaking herself down every chance she got when she would genuinely do anything to love this man.

"You just," he shrugged, "seem a little different today."

"Just beyond excited to see you," she teased, rolling her eyes.

The amount of happiness that swam through that room could not be measured, could never be fathomed by anyone but them.

It amazed them that they didn't need anything outside the two of them.

They didn't need anything outside the two of them to be happy.

"Of course," pinching her chin, he tilted her lips up to capture them with his own. She clasped his neck closer, her arms tightening as she pulled him closer.

For the shortest second, she tore from him, eyes wondering to his.

"God, Taehyung," looking into them, she could have sworn she saw the whole world. The stars, the sun, eight planets - she saw it all. "I love you so much."

And he smiled.

She realised that, yes, maybe she does deserve a second chance.

Because here was this beautiful man who loved her, and she was ready to love him the way he deserves.

--

"Mmm," Jiah hummed, leaning against the doorframe to Taehyung's bedroom and watched as he tossed a few bacon strips onto the pan, listening to it sizzle and taking a small whiff of it. "Smells so good."

"I bet it'll taste even better," his eyes were focused on cooking, but he took a moment to spare her a glance. And even just that overwhelmed her. She drank in how his silver eyes looked even more brilliant first thing in the morning, with his hair falling all over it and sticking up in random places. His silk pyjama top messily thrown on, only buttoned up halfway with the top two undone and the matching pants stretched so long he was stepping on them at the bottom.

She couldn't be more thankful that this was what she could wake up to.

"What are you doing over there?" this time he lifted his eyes to look at her properly, for longer.

Silver.

So, so, so silver.

"Do I have permission to eat?" she asked, putting her hands in her pockets and swaggering to the kitchen bench. She stood next to him and looked over the pan, "I'd have to say, I'm a little surprised you know how to use a pan."

"What did you think?" he snorted, "That I'm some kind of-"

He was cut off when she wrapped one arm around his waist and slipped it into the front pocket of his pants, with her gaze still glued to the food. She was about to rest her cheek against his arm, but his actions stopped her.

Turning his head to look at her, he raised an eyebrow, "What are you doing?"

She didn't reply.

And so he turned around to face her, meaning her arm was pulled tighter around him, yanking her closer.

So close that when she looked up to him in shock, his lips were only inches away.

"Lee Jiah, if you don't stop now we aren't getting any breakfast to eat."

She didn't reply again.

"That's it," he grunted, putting the spatula down and turning the stove off with one hand, the other pulled her hand out of his pocket. Which made it easier for him to grab her by the waist and lift her onto the counter opposite the stove, moving so he was in between her legs.

He pulled her closer to him, his playful eyes turning serious in the matter of nanoseconds and her expression mirrored his, hands rushing straight to thread themselves through his hair.

"I'm hungry though," she joked, eyes peeking over his shoulder to the stove.

"No, no," shaking his head, he cupped her cheeks with his hands, lips overcoming hers immediately.

Giggling, she felt the heat from her stomach rise to her chest, finding her heart beat so much so she began panting. Parting her lips, his warmth that washed over her was hypotonic, the taste of him silencing all her thoughts. She forgot everything when she was in his embrace.

Time did stop - there was no other explanation for the incredible sensation she felt with him.

Loving him was different now, and she sensed it, too.

Because now, the weights that she had been carrying, the ones that tied her down were slowly being let go.

Tilting her head to the side, she watched an asteroid shoot down the side of his neck, and she followed it as she placed small kisses in its trail.

As if she burnt him, he let out a quiet gasp - which only made something stronger bubble up in the bottom of her stomach. Fingers flying to his shirt, she unbuttoned it the rest of the way, drawing circles with her fingers on the sides of his waist.

"My food better not be going to waste," he let out lowly, and she grinned against his skin, continuing to place wet kisses along his collarbone. "On second thought, I don't care."

And, earning a hearty laugh from Jiah, Taehyung ripped her shirt over her head and threw it at the couch.

"We can always eat it for lunch?" she suggested, her laughter growing when he agreed, lifting her off the counter.

"Good idea, sweetheart," every time he had called her that before, his voice was laced with warmth - golden silk and honey, welcoming and light.

But this time it was not just warm but burning with a fire that would keep forests burning for months. It was filled with lust and desire, darkness looming in his voice almost sinful.

It was crazy how - while she knew he was all goodness personified - he still had this side to him.

And she loved it so.

A couple of long strides later, he gently placed her on his unmade bed.

The bed they slept in the night before.

The bed they woke up in together that morning.

Their bed.

Sinking into the bed with her, he buried his face in her neck, every touch complimenting each other's beauty, every smile screaming I adore you, every kiss singing I love you.

HEY LOVELIES

FIRST THING'S FIRST

MY LOVE -saeris DREW THIS, ISN'T IT JUST BEAUTIFUL?

WHEN I TELL YOU I STOPPED WORKING WHEN I SAW THIS AHHHHH

Y'ALL PLEASE GIVE HER SOME LOVE TELL HER HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS IS AND GO SAY HI! (she's a sweetheart)

SECONDLY, I just want to thank my beautiful friend Milan for helping me with this chapter, and basically for the rest of the story ahhh she's an angel guys I'm not kidding when I say I wouldn't have written again for a while without her help. Go check out ALL her works (her wedding planner be fire though) if you want to read some of the most high quality stories on this app :')

Milan I love you, thank you

An extra long update for y'all today xx

Rest well tonight, lovely