Things We Do for Love


After two weeks, we found ourselves in Edre, and the marriage was arranged, and mother's dress, which she wore at her wedding, finally arrived from the capital. The same day, Oksana locked herself in the room given to her by Bayezid in Castle Edre. She wore the dress and looked at herself in front of the silver mirror. There were golden dragon motives all around the edges of the white dress. It made Oksana look like an angel fallen from the sky because she couldn't stop crying. She always had reddish eyes and pink transparent skin when she wasn't crying. She used to look at that dress for hours at home, imagining the marvellous wedding of Sir Vlad Cristos and Princes Oksana Dragarevic, which was going to be told as the most gorgeous wedding of centuries. At the same time, Queen Mother was determined to make this wedding of Oksana and King Bayezid the most magnificent celebration for centuries. That night, Oksana thought she saw Sir Vlad sitting on her window watching her while sleeping. When she woke up, Sir Vlad called for her. They hugged each other till the morning light heated their cheeks. Sir Vlad looked charmed when she wore that dress; his eyes got soaked. Vlad carried her and turned her around various times. Vlad looked her in the eye, smiled and kept turning her around until Oksana woke up and started to cry. Two days later, Bayezid visited Oksana in her room and offered her a horse ride on the beach. It was four days left before their wedding.

During the trip to the beach, Bayezid spoke about the country, the nature of Danishmenthan, and the history, and then he told his dreams and asked the same for Oksana. Oksana kept silent. They saw a massive tree that had blossomed violet flowers recently. Bayezid approached and put a flower from the branches behind Oksana's ear. Oksana smashed the flower. When Bayezid asked about her favourite colour, she kept silent. Bayezid gifted the golden horse she was mounting to her. Oksana remained silent. Finally, Bayezid told her that marriage was the best way to make peace between the two nations. She didn't answer. 

Bayezid didn't accompany her to her room and said farewell when they dismounted their horses at the castle's entrance. Oksana locked herself to the room again and waited for Sir Vlad to come to take her. Sir Vlad didn't come that night or the nights following.

On the day of the wedding, she arrived. Oksana was awake even before the birds were awake. She climbed to the window and looked down. She thought if Sir Vlad were not coming to take her, she would go to him alone. She started a whistle repeating the same melody, then swung back and forth, getting on the fences before the window. That's when Mother unlocked her door with the key she got from the grandmaster. She ran towards her with two maids. She knew Oksana would not jump, and she said that's why she shouted and slapped her. After the dressing ceremony took hours, the women walked down the stairs, and we saluted. Then Oksana and I walked to the grand throne room with arms linked together. She whispered, "I am happy that you will be here. Otherwise, I won't be able to make it." I nodded, "I will always be here, walking beside you." 

Bayezid wore a black raven feather cape; his costume was red and ornate. His hair was tied, and his beard clean-cut. He awaited us near the Shaman, grabbing a bowl with the mighty ox's blood. I turned Oksana to him and then walked next to my mother. Both sides of the room were crowded with leaders of Turkic Tribes, allies and ambassadors. Oksana's soft but cold hands met Bayezid's rough but warm hands. Shaman coated the blood onto their foreheads and said words I cannot recall. They drank wine from the horn of the brown spotted mountain goat that only lived in Edre. After the marriage, the celebration began.

There were dance and music and jokes and stories of legends. The grandmaster silenced the crowd—time for the first dance of the king and queen. The young Arabic musician ladies stopped playing except the one with the darkest hair. She was playing the oud. That was the first time I heard the robust and sad tune of the instrument. It was like the journey to hope, which always ends up hopeless but somehow makes one believe in miracles. Bayezid attempted to take Oksana's hand, but she drew back. They were in the middle of the room, and all the attendees were watching them, but Oksana refused to dance. Bayezid waited a while; he did not care about the gossiping and whispering crowd but woefully recalled a memory. He offered his hand again, but Oksana was not even looking at his face. He abruptly looked directly into the crowd and silenced the ones chiding and mocking her. They walked together to the thrones. Oksana sat and got busy looking for a motive on her dress till the end of the celebration while Bayezid was busy making people satisfied, rejoice and forget. 

The invitees wished for their blessings and gave their gifts before they were sent to their rooms that they would stay the night in till the morning came and the time was appropriate for them to return. I said farewell to my sister and saw Mother whispering soberly a few words to Oksana, whose face got even bluer when she heard her. 

Bayezid and Oksana walked in the company of five guardians to their room. Bayezid tried to put his hand on her waist, but she got distanced. Bayezid ordered the guardians to leave when they reached the room. The men hesitated but then obeyed the order. They got inside, and that's when Oksana started to cry even louder and more heartbreaker than ever. Bayezid stood before the door for a time, not saying or doing anything. Oksana murmured, "You will never have me; I will always hate you; you are a killer; you can force me to do anything, but you cannot force me to love you!" Bayezid looked at her still, motionless. Then he went near the fireplace and blew it by putting a few blocks of wood inside. He walked to the door again, got out and closed the door after. Oksana stopped crying when she realized there was no one to hear her. She was bewildered and all alone in the giant room. She decided to discover. She looked at the details on carpets and wood carving, searched the drawers, and lit a few candles. Even the flame of the candle was freezing in her loneliness. She saw an oud shaped differently than all the guitars she knew at home hanging on the wall. Sir Vlad was one good musician. He played in ceremonies of victory and feasts to his comrades and, sometimes, only for Oksana. She approached and touched it. She realized the carving of sparrows on it. They were carved so neatly, so elegantly. She found a leather book inside the drawer under the oud. There were songs and poetry. She read them and tried to understand them as much as she could. 

"Love is so soft when I fall in your touch.

Love is so bright when I look into your eyes, 

The days of glory are the ones you smile at me

My woman rides to Moorland when the sun goes down

The moorlands sing our song when our horses are reared up

Oh, my woman does not ever cry, 

When she grabs her sword nearby

See who is going to call..."

Oksana found a sketch on paper of a woman on horseback lifting a sword. Suddenly, the door was opened. Bayezid got in. He stood at the entrance for a second. Then he looked at the paper that Oksana was holding. "Do not touch it!" he growled. Oksana left it in the drawer in a hurry. With him walking inside, he surrounded the room with a strong scent of mead and wine. He sat on the chair near the bed. Oksana sat on the bed. They didn't talk. Bayezid stood up, approached the open drawer, checked the paper inside, and closed it. He placed the oud hanging on the wall a bit to the left. He looked at Oksana and said, "Leave them be!" He sat on the other half of the bed, turning his back to Oksana. He was not wearing the raven feather cape anymore. He took his boots and belt and his red costume off. Oksana saw the deep and long scars starting on his shoulders and his waist. He got into the bed and turned to the side of the window. Oksana kept sitting on the bed. After a while, he turned to Oksana and ordered, "Sleep." Oksana didn't even look at him. "I am not your queen; I won't sleep with you." Instantly, Bayezid got out of bed and shouted. "You weren't supposed to be my queen; Tuanna was going to be my queen. She was the love of my life; you meant nothing to me. Hear me now; you are nothing, just a necessity of a deal. Just a part of the agreement for the sake of my nation. You can only represent my love towards my country, nothing more. You can't be her; none can. So shut up and get rid of your poor victim attitude. You are not one to complain. At least you have me to blame, hate, and get out of your anger. I'm the killer of your lover. I am the big bad wolf that you should blame, yet I have no one in this world except myself to blame for losing her." His eyes got wet, and his hands were trembling. Oksana looked at his light blue eyes and recognized some green in them. "Did she carve those birds onto the oud?" she asked finally. Bayezid looked at the oud for a second, and he nodded. Oksana continued, "They are beautiful." Bayezid wrinkled his face, "You don't need to do this." he replied. Oksana stood up and walked towards the drawer; she was nervous but decisive. "What kind of guitar is that?" she asked. Bayezid walked beside her, keeping his distance. "It is not a guitar. It is an oud. I bought it from a Bazar in the East." Oksana was confused. "But its shape is different from those played at the wedding." Bayezid took the oud from the wall. "That's because it depends on the culture. This was made in Brasgy, south of the Shipwreck Sea, where a small tribe of fire dancers plays it. They make the fretboard longer to simulate the blurred noise of the fire." They kept silent for a while, examining the instrument Bayezid was holding. Then Bayezid attempted to hang it back to the wall, but Oksana muttered, "Can you play it?" Bayezid hesitated. He got the oud and walked near the fireplace. He sat on the couch near it. Oksana's face was still turned to the wall. Then, the first tunes were heard. Oksana felt a warm breeze that left her to have a bit of a smile on her face. When she opened her eyes, a whole life reflected on the wall; dark shadows appeared in the candlelight. There was horseman fighting for glory, stories of maids untold, adventures of explorers and sailors, girls that were dancing and singing as the world was sleeping, as no one would find them and capture them and steal their dreams and dances and songs, as they won't grow and suffer and loose. The river they dance near is all they will ask for. She couldn't believe her eyes. Oksana slowly turned to Bayezid. His pupils got more prominent, and the dark circles left a frail hoop of blue around. He looked directly into the fire, not even winking, just dreaming. He turned to Oksana. Both were cut out of breath, and the scarlet light of flames brightened the side of their face. Oksana understood that he saw it, too. 





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