Chapter Twenty Six

Running probably hadn't been the best idea i'd ever had, but it seemed good at the time, and I didn't exactly have long to think over my options when I'd just smashed a fire alarm, ruining what was left of my friend's set, and causing a whole crowd to empty out onto the cold streets. It may have been early May, but it was still pretty chilly after sundown. 

I knew Ian would've continued to look for me, so I ran all the way to the nearest train station, not paying attention to the time or indeed any of my surroundings. All I focused on was getting on the first train that headed back to my town. My breath came out in foggy pants and my chest tightened with the icy air that surrounded me, but that didn't stop me. Running kept me warm enough anyway. 

It was only when I got on the train, hood up and ignoring everyone else around me, which granted wasn't exactly many people (there was only about 3 other people in the train carriage), that I checked my phone. 

As I had expected, there were multiple missed calls and a few texts from the others. I ignored them all, instead just typing a quick message to Ray that would have to do for now. 

"i'm fine. Lost you in the crowd. Bumped into a friend. Crashing at theirs - Frnk x" it was a shitty, unbelievable excuse that I would have to really think out in more detail at some point, but it would do for now, and that was all I was really interested in. I'd just have to hope Ray bought it and stopped worrying. 

With that I shoved my phone back into my pocket and spent the rest of the ten minute journey staring out of the window, despite the fact that I could hardly see anything in the dark.  I just sat alone in the corner, knees pulled up to my chest as I tried to calm myself. It didn't help that I was still tipsy, and I could feel my phone going off every now and then in my pocket, yet I ignored it every time.  I felt like I needed something, anything to distract me from the fact I was just very nearly... well, I don't know what could've happened, but I was guessing it would've involved pain, and the sheer force of those guys he was with. 

Dewees had been right, I needed to take this more seriously than I was. But at the same time I knew telling people would be disastrous.

Of course, what I really needed came in the form of a priest, who's house it took me another five minutes or so to walk to from the station. It was bitterly cold by that point, and my jacket just wasn't enough to keep out the chills that raced through me. It didn't help that it was dark too, the only light source available emitting from the dim street lights placed every now and then down the street, giving the pavement a dim, orangey glow.

Even as I walked towards Gerard's, which luckily wasn't too far from the station, I was still in two minds as to wether to tell him or not. But then again, if I didn't talk to someone I felt like I would explode. 

I know I was fucking the priest,  but I could still talk to him about personal issues. It would just be a more personal conversation that professional. That's if he was even going to be awake enough to answer the door. Otherwise it was going to be a long walk back home, and filled with plenty of questions from Ray that I really didn't want to have to answer just yet. 

Luckily for me Gerard's bedroom light was on. From where I stood it looked more like a bedside lamp than the main bedroom light, suggesting to me that he was probably up late reading or surfing away on his laptop without realising the time. 

I was going to right the doorbell, but then I remembered that Mikey was staying and so was probably asleep, so I went for a knock on the door instead. I had to wait longer than usual, and when Gerard did open the door the safety chain was on, revealing only part of his face. It was then that I remembered that it was gone midnight, and Gerard had probably been unsure as to exactly who would've been calling round at that time of night, hence the guarded expression that immediately dissolved when he was me standing there. 

"Frankie?" he yawned, opening the door wider "What are you doing here? What's happened?" His hair was a mess and his collar was off, his normal attire replaced with black sweatpants and a faded Iron Maiden t-shirt. I don't know why I paid attention to these details, given the situation, but perhaps it was just a coping mechanism. 

"Is this a bad time?" I all I managed to ask. 

"Come in" He opened the door and ushered me into the hallway, where he fully took in my state under the hall light. "Shit, what happened to your hand?" He cried, reaching over and grabbing my wrist, pulling my fist up so it was directly under the light. 

"Smashed a fire alarm" I sighed, looking down at the various cuts that littered the back of my hand, some still bleeding a little. To be honest it was nothing but a dull sting in the back of my mind, and it was only now that I paid attention to it that the pain returned. 

"Come on, I've got a first aid kit in the bathroom" he sighed, pulling me towards the stairs "Mikey's asleep in the spare room but you can go wait for me in mine." 

"m'kay" I mumbled, stumbling a little on the first step. 

"Are you drunk?' He asked when I stumbled again on the second step, before finally finding my balance. 

"A little" I didn't even turn around to answer him; I just kept trudging up the stairs. I heard him sigh and mutter something about getting me a glass of water too before he headed off towards the kitchen. I shuffled as quietly as I could past Mikey's rooms before I reached Gerard's, where I proceeded to slump down on the edge of the bed. 

My eyes wandered over to his desk, where sure enough the lamp was on, showing that he had not been reading like I had originally thought, but drawing. I leaned closer to the desk and saw the various pages of comic book characters and a notebook open, revealing lines of script for each one. Each figure was drawn with a distinct, diverse style that gripped my attention from the moment I spotted it. Various empty cups surrounded his work, and pens littered the desk in a typical Gerard-mess. 

"Here" he entered the room with a first aid kit under his arm and a glass of water in his hand "drink this" he handed me the water as I continued to glance over at his drawings. 

"These are amazing" I dared not touch any of his work, so settled to looking from a safe distance away. 

"Oh, thanks" he said distractedly "Now give me your hand" I begrudgingly did so, wincing the moment the antiseptic wipe touched my skin. "So are you going to tell me what the hell happened to you or are we just going to keep talking about my drawings?" 

"To be honest the drawings sound good about now" I said through gritted teeth as he cleaned the cuts and started to bandage up my hand with more care and precision than I alone would ever have had the patience to do. 

"How about you start with telling me why you smashed a fire alarm?" He raised an eyebrow "You were at a concert, right? What happened? Was there a fire? Because you don't look like it was that simple." 

"No" I rested my head on my knees, my hand still in his lap "It was just a distraction so I could get out of there. I er, saw someone I didn't want to run into and it seemed like a good option at the time." 

"You smashed a fire alarm so you wouldn't have to talk to someone?" He'd finished with my hand by that point, and moved closer to me "Frank? I know it can't be that simple. Who the hell were you trying to avoid so desperately?" 

"Just this thug I know" I paused "Well, sort of know. It's kind of complicated. But he dosen't exactly like me, and it was better for everyone if I just got out of there before he caught up with me or saw me with my friends."

"Or what?" He tugged at my knees so that I turned to fully face him "Frank? What exactly was this guy going to do? Was he going to hurt you?" His eyes were wide as our gazes met, and I felt bad for worrying him like that. Maybe it would've been better if I'd just said nothing.

"I... I don't know..." I mumbled "I mean, possibly. That's why I had to leave. But er, he dosen't know my name or anything so you don't need to worry about it really. I mean, I was bound to bump into him at some point, and now it's over and you can just forget this and we can go back to how we -" He shut me up my placing one hand on the back of my neck and kissing me. It wasn't a deep kiss, but it still made me shut up. 

"Stop rambling and tell me exactly what this guy has got to do with you" He all but ordered "We're together, so your problems and now mine, get it?" 

"Seriously, you have more pressing things to worry about than some guy-" 

"Frank just tell me why he hates you so much" he cut me off, obviously growing impatient. 

"I saw him doing this drug drop with one of my... acquaintances" I struggled for a word to sum up my relationship with Dewees and realised that there probably wasn't a suitable one to summarise a guy I'd let kiss me and was now covering for me around a drug dealer. "And he probably wants to just make sure I'm not going to tell anyone. Which i'm not. Well, I told you, but I can trust you." 

"Fucking hell Frankie" He groaned, running a hand through his hair "can you just not stay out of trouble at all?" 

"Not really, no" I retorted "I mean, you don't exactly help when it comes to being good, do you? I'm pretty sure this is about as much trouble as I could get myself in when it comes to James. In fact, he'd probably take the drug dealer over the gay relationship with a priest." 

"Don't try and turn this into something comical" He rolled his eyes "you can't just go around and expect to avoid this guy forever. What if he catches up with you when someone isn't with you?" I had a feeling that he was referring to himself when he said 'someone.'

"Then i'll deal with it. Besides, once i'm Eighteen I'm not exactly planning on sticking around here." I leaned forward and started to play with his hair "I'm too tired to talk anymore about this. There's nothing we can do anyway." 

"You can't just shrug this off" He frowned "So many things could've gone wrong tonight. Do your friends even know where you are?" 

"They know I'm safe" I mumbled leaning into him slightly. My adrenalin had long since faded and now that I was sobering up all I could think of was sleep "Come on Gee, we can talk more about it in the morning when you show me all your art, okay?" 

"Fine" He grumbled "But only because you're so tired and I don't have the heart to keep you up any longer." 

"Now that's what I like to hear" I let him get up and just collapsed onto the bed with a yawn, kicking off my clothes until I was just in my boxers. I didn't feel in any way self conscious around him anymore, so didn't even bothering opening my eyes as I pulled of my clothes and climbing under the sheets.  

I soon felt the bed dip beside me and an arm scoop around my waist, pulling me to his chest. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and it comforted me more than I ever would have thought possible.

"Night" He sighed "Try and let me get some sleep before you get into your next batch of trouble, okay?" 

"No promises" I chuckled, although by that point I was so tired that it came out as more of a very weak giggle.

He muttered something under his breath then, but I was too past it to comprend what he was saying. The last thing I remembered was his kissing the side of my neck, and then after that I was out like a light, sleeping better than I ever would in my own bed. 

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It is too late to be writing.

But here I am.

I now own a copy of Hesitant Alien and it is beautiful. Favourites songs atm have gotta be Brother, Maya The Physic, and Juarez (in that order.)

~ Headfirst For Helena