Chapter Twenty Eight

The moment me and Ray were alone he ambushed me with questions.

Luckily this did not happen until we got back to the house and he followed me into my room, meaning I'd bought myself valuable time to try and think of a valid excuse to explain my actions. Of course, I knew nothing except the truth would truly explain everything that had happened in that short space of time, but that simply wasn't an option for me. 

"So" he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground, standing in the doorway of my room "are you going to explain what the hell happened to you last night?" I'd never actually seen my cousin angry before, so it was a weird adjustment to say the least. He still wasn't in any way threatening or even scary, but I was weary of him all the same. 

"Look Ray i'm really sorry that I left so suddenly-" 

"Cut the crap and tell me what happened Frank" he surprised me by interrupting me mid-sentence, making me go quiet for a moment. 

"I told you. There was all that confusion, and then I bumped into one of my other friends. I really didn't want to have to come back here, so I agreed to go crash at his place" I was panicking as I spoke as it was obvious he didn't believe me. My voice rose in pitch and I started to toy nervously with my sleeves "I shouldn't texted you sooner - phoned you even - I just couldn't find you in the crowd that's all." 

"What friend?" he spat "I was standing with all of your friends. Hell, we were all searching for you for about ten minutes! We even tried to get back into the venue but they wouldn't allow it. Jimmy tried to push past the fucking security because we thought you could be trapped inside a potentially burning building. And where were you? Crashing at an imaginary friends!" He spat almost venomously. 

Guilt flooded through me like a tidal wave. I hadn't thought about how they might have presumed it was a real fire. I just assumed that everyone would just consider it an inconvenience at the most. The thought of them worrying over me when I had in fact been the one to pull the allarm made me squirm internally, wishing there was a way I could tell Ray any aspect of the truth. 

"Oh so now you go quiet" he scoffed "we were all so fucking worried, Frank. And then I get that tiny, two lined text from you acting like everything's absolutely fine. I tried to call you back and yet you couldn't even be bothered to pick up your phone. Honestly, I don't know why I bothered lying for you today." 

"Ray please-" 

"No. Unless you're going to tell me where you really were and exactly why it was so important that you couldn't even manage to turn your phone on, then forget it. I don't want to hear any more lies" he shut me up as i scrambled for some sort of lie that would suffice and make him believe I had a genuine reason. 

I wished I could just tell him the truth, but I think he would have considered that the most elaborate lie of all. What teenager in their right mind would believe that I of all people was fucking a priest? He'd probably believe the drug story over that one. Even though I had no history with drugs of any description except the cigarettes hidden in my bag, that didn't mean people didn't automatically class me under that label. 

Sometimes the moment you do one thing wrong, everyone just assumes you'll have signed yourself up for everything illegal along the way. I'm not saying people were wrong to make these sort of assumptions about me as I would probably do it myself, but sometimes I wished that they wouldn't. 

"I'm sorry" I just sighed in defeat "I promise i'll tell you. I swear. I just... can't right now" I glanced up at him to see he was shaking his head at me, arms crossed over his chest in a defiant stance. 

"I don't know why I bother" He simply stated, going to push past me. 

"Ray please" I tried to grab his arm but he shook off my hand in a jerk-like motion "You just have to trust me for now." 

"When you're ready to tell me this secret or whatever it is that's going on with you, then I'll listen. Then maybe i'll consider trusting you. But until then? Don't bother Frank" He glanced over at his old guitar that was still leaning in the corner of the room, but decided not to say anything, obviously figuring that he couldn't be asked to take it away from me. 

I watched him walk out of my room and storm into his own, powerless to stop him. my secrets were not my own to give away  -  Gerard's whole career and life as he knew it was at stake if I so much as said a word about the two of us. And the less Ray knew about Ian and the park incident the better. 

So I just collapsed onto the end of my bed, and wondered to myself if I would ever truly be able to tell Ray what had happened. I hoped I would be able to someday, but for now it looked like I was stuck with him being mad at me. 

Great. Now the only thing I liked about that house had also been taken away from me. 

I never normally looked forward to sixth form on a Monday morning, but that day was particularly dread-filled. Mainly because I had no idea what sort of terms I was on with the others after Saturday night. And also due to the fact that after not speaking to me for the rest of Sunday, I then had to get a lift there with Ray. 

Our journey was silent except for the Muse CD that played at a volume loud enough to indicate he didn't want me to talk over it. I tried in between songs to slip apologies in his direction, but he simply turned the music up louder with each word I mumbled. I soon got the message. 

As soon as we arrived on campus he sped off in the opposite direction to me, leaving me alone as I wandered through the corridors, debating wether to try and track down my friends and get the awkwardness over with, or just keep hiding from it. In the end I just shoved one headphone into my left ear and headed to my first class, figuring I might as well get there first.

Luckily none of my immediate friend group were in that particular lesson with me, so I didn't get bombarded with questions immediately. Instead I sat next to this guy called Andy, who seemed nice enough. He had some pretty good band patches on his jacket and he tended to dress with an alternative style, and from what I had gathered when he spoke was a pretty funny guy. I made an effort to converse with him in that lesson, figuring that if all else failed I could do with another decent friend who didn't have a reason to be mad at me.

Of course, soon I found myself walking into the canteen with no more distractions, diversions or room to procrastinate. There, at our usual spot, sat my friends, all of whom were yet to notice me making my way over to them all. Lynz spotted me first, sending me a fleeting smile that gave me a little hope. 

"Hey" it wasn't her usual, carefree greeting, but it was a greeting nonetheless. 

"Hey" I sat down next to her, looking around at everyone as they glanced from one another and then back to me "look, I know what you're all thinking and I understand if you're mad at me after what happened on Saturday night." 

"We're not mad at you, we just don't understand why you ran off so quickly without telling any of us" Oli frowned "we were all looking for you, you know. Jimmy even tried to get back into the venue" Jimmy gave a small nod in agreement. 

"We were worried about you" Kitty sighed "you ran off in the middle of the night and we don't even know where you went." 

"You don't need to worry about me, Kitts" I rushed "I'm not worth the stress, believe me. Besides, i'm usually the one causing the trouble anyway, not being the victim of it."

"we're your friends. It's our job to care, especially when you have a family like yours" Lynz sighed "Look, I don't know where you crashed or why and we don't expect you to tell us everything that goes on in your lives, but a heads up or some form of reassurance that you're alive would be good, that's all."  

"Got ya" I grinned, feeling like a massive weight had been lifted off of my shoulders now that I knew they weren't all about to banish me for my actions "And thank you, I didn't mean to put you guys through that." 

"Forget it" Jimmy waved it away "you couldn't help that the fire alarm got pulled, and who are we to stop you if you got lucky?" Chantal elbowed him in the ribs. 

"Just because he crashed somewhere else dosen't automatically mean he had a one night stand Jimmy!" she rolled her eyes "not everyone thinks along the same lines as you do." 

"I know" He said before turning back to me "but still, it was a one night stand, wasn't it?" Chantal didn't even bother to assault him this time, instead just rolling her eyes. 

"erm-" I wondered what my best option would be to say in response. On one hand I could say no, but then that would arise more questions about exactly who let me stay over, or I could say yes and put it down to a total stranger who's name I was too drunk to remember.

Jimmy and Steve seemed to take my hesitation as a yes, making the decision for me.

"I don't know how you managed to get lucky, man" Steve shook his head at me "you only went to take a piss and you maanged to hook up! Plus with all that shit with some prick smashing that fire alarm!" 

"He's just that good" Oli teased, obviously still in a good mood from his date with Hannah two days previously "what did you do Frank? Chat him up over the urinals? Sneak a peak?" 

"Fuck off" I grumbled, but there was still a smile on my face "Anyway, how did the rest of the evening go with Hannah?" I was eager to divert the subject from me, and eagerly listened as Oli was bombarded with questions from everyone about his love life, which he gave only brief details of. I had a feeling Hannah would probably be the only one to ever see him mushy side.

One thing I didn't notice, however, which I should've perhaps paid more attention to, was just how abnormally quiet Kellin was being throughout the whole thing.

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Loads of people that didn't want the new layout got the new profile layout and i'm just here clutching onto mine for as long as possible. 

This chapter was brought to you by the new Marmozet's album & the entirety of Stomachaches

Also petition for Frank to name his next album Headaches. Or toothaches.