Chapter Thirty Two

Gerard had told the church he was visiting a relative for the weekend, so we didn't have to rush back to church on Sunday. Ever since the incident when I punched James, he had backed off a bit, so I knew he probably wouldn't say anything if i didn't turn up to church for just one time. Even if he did ask i'd just tell him I overslept. He wouldn't be particularly happy, but he'd have to accept it. 

So me and Gerard had a pretty relaxed start. We slept in, and then once we had raided the room off all available free pens and mini soaps, we packed up our stuff. Of course, neither of us wanted to leave, and we both made this pretty clear with how slowly we packed up, but we both knew that people would only get suspicious if we stayed more than one night. 

"One day, huh?" he sighed when he saw the look on my face, slipping his arm around my waist.

"Yeah" I smiled up at him "I know." For once I didn't doubt that we could actually have a shot of being together in the long run. Now that we'd exchanged the three confirming words, I felt like our relationship was woven into something far stronger than the messy affair it had been when we first turned up at that hotel. 

"And in the meantime we'll just be careful, wait it out until our time eventually comes" He let go of me to pick up his bag, but not before kissing me briefly "it'll all work out eventually, you'll see." Of course, he didn't mention all the trials and troubles we'd have to face in the process before we could finally reach our happy place, but I think we were both more than aware that they were on the horizon, and approaching fast. 

I got a surprise when I got home. And for once, it wasn't a bad one.

I was unpacking my bag in my room, feeling kind of down because Gerard was gone and once again I was alone in the hellhole that was my aunt and uncle's house, the hotel now nothing but a memory to me. I was so busy throwing my clothes back into their drawers that I didn't notice Ray at the door at first. 

"Oh" I stopped abruptly, a sock in my hand "hey." 

"Hey" he sighed "Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that." 

"Oh it's fine, you didn't, and even if you did, I wouldn't mind you know" I started to ramble, desperate for any chance to make Ray feel somewhat forgiving towards me. I'd missed our friendship, especially as he was the only family member I had who I actually liked. And even then it was sometimes questionable as to wether he could stand me. 

"Look, Frank" he leant in the doorway "I'm not staying I forgive you, or that I still don't want an explanation, because trust me the only way you're fully getting back into my good books is if you tell me exactly what your deal is recently..." 

"But?" I prompted, eyes going wide in hope. 

"But I hate not speaking to you. The silent treatment just makes me feel like we're bickering eleven year olds, and as much as my dad would hate to hear me say it, I care about you. I don't want to push you away like everyone else seems to be doing." 

"Really? So we're speaking again?" I dropped the sock on the ground, not caring about it anymore. 

"Yeah" He chuckled at my wide-eyed expression "I know whatever's going on must be kind of complex if you haven't told me by now, so i'll trust that you just need more time before you can come clean to me." 

"It really is just a matter of time and then I promise i'll tell you everything" I found myself admitting "seriously Ray." 

"It's ok, I believe you" I pulled him in for a hug then, over the moon at the chance of having him back as a friend. The last week had been utter crap without him speaking to me, and it felt like one hurdle down to have sorted out the issues between us. 

"Thank you" I sighed, pulling away from him. 

"No problem, want to bring your guitar into my room and plug it in?" He moved on like there had never been a single bad word spoken between us. 

"Sure, just let me finish unpacking this" I gestured to my bag. 

"Okay" he watched as I pulled the remaining items out of my bag "hey, what's this?" he picked up one of the hotel soaps that I had chucked into my bag "why do you have hotel soap in your overnight bag?" he laughed, whilst I resisted the urge to tense up and panic. 

"Oh, that was from ages ago..." I trailed off with a wave of my hand, not looking round at him as I spoke. 

"It says here that it's an English hotel... not too far from here actually. When did you stay there?" he didn't drop it as i'd hoped. 

"Oh I can't remember" I tried not to snap, but I think it still came off a little agressive because he dropped the soap back into the back quite suddenly. "Anyway, let's stop discussing soap and start discussing power chords, yeah?" 

 "Yeah, right" He seemed to forget about it quickly enough at the mention of guitars, and I just reminded myself that taking souvenirs was not the best idea when you're trying to cover your tracks. At least any guess Ray could make would never quite be the truth. He'd never believe that one even if I told him myself.

***

"Okay now turn your feet in as you do it!" Lynz ordered me around from where she was sitting on a low brick wall, boot-clad legs crossed over her lap as she watched me "and make sure your shins are as low as you can get them without falling." 

"I think i'll just concentrate on the not falling!" I yelled back from where I was currently bending over backwards in a supermarket car park, attempting to do this move Lynz had invented whilst playing her bass. She called it a backbend, and when she'd demonstrated for me, going so low her hair brushed the ground, i'd made the mistake of asking her how she did it. 

Fast forward ten minutes and there I was, trying not to fall too hard on the tarmac with every failure. She just laughed and moved over to me, pulling me to my feet. "Like this, you idiot" she rolled her eyes before launching herself into a perfect backbend, all of it seeming effortless to her. 

"I'm just not as flexible as you!" I sighed in agitation when she even pulled herself back up without so much as a stumble. 

"You can still do better than that" She just laughed at me before placing both her hands on my back "go on, try again. Don't be afraid to fall, i'll catch you if you do." 

"Are you strong enough?" 

"And you doubting my strength Iero?" she raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow "because trust me, I could lift more than you and Jimmy could put together."

"Sorry" I started to lean back again when we were both interrupted. 

"Lynz!" We turned to see a car pulling up in front of us, a woman wearing a scowl like an ugly fashion accessory leaning out of the window. 

"What are you doing here?" Lynz instantly let go of me in surprise, and I let out a yelp as I fell down on my ass "oh shit, sorry Frank." 

"Frank?" The woman's eyes widened as she looked down at me "the Frank who vandalised my house?" 

So this was Angela then. 

"What the hell are you doing here? I asked Dad to pick me up" Lynz ignored the question. 

"He was busy" She just snapped before turning back to me "Neither of us realised you were still hanging around with him" she all but spat at me "what the hell did you think you were doing, wrecking my house like that? Do you have no respect whatsoever? I mean really I know your parents gave you up but that's no excuse-" 

"Fuck off Angela" Lynz butted in for me "his parents didn't abandon him, he's just over here with his family." She really was protective of me, almost in an older sister style, and god I wished she could be my real sister, because i'm sure if i'd had her to turn to growing up I wouldn't be half as messed up as I was. 

"Then he dosen't even have the start of an excuse" She exclaimed "Now get in the car Lynz. As much as I think you two are perfect for each other, I don't think your dad will agree, do you?" I could practically feel the bitterness in her tone as she adressed her supposed stepdaughter. 

"I don't think her dad would agree with you talking to her like that either" I spoke up, getting up off the ground and trying to stick up for my best friend "I bet you don't talk down to her when he's around, do you?" 

"Shut up before I phone the police and actually press charges on you" She snapped at me before turning back to Lynz "now get in the bloody car." Lynz just gave me a sad smile and hugged me briefly, both of us knowing that she meant it when she said she wouldn't care about pressing charges. In fact she'd probably enjoy it. 

"Give me strength" She muttered so only I could hear.

"See you tomorrow" I simply sighed as she picked up her bag and got into the back seat of the car, purposely avoiding the empty front one. I wished I could have been or more help, but I couldn't really do a lot right at that moment.

 I think me and Lynz had definitely bonded over having shit families, with hers being torn apart in front of her whilst mine was just a train wreck from start to finish. Ray was the only member of mine that I could stand for more than a few minutes, and I was eternally grateful that we were on speaking terms again. Otherwise I didn't know how i'd cope. 

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Sorry this is shorter than normal it's just a good place to leave it for now :)

Also I have been watching the new SWS video for Kick Me way too much I love it so I will link that in the side for y'all to check out.

((good vibes))

~ Headfirst for Helena