Nineteen

I didn't sleep much that night. I kept tossing and turning and thinking over how I could ask Oli for Dewees number without causing a fuss or attention. 

I tried to cheer myself up my thinking about how I could handle myself in most situations. Sure, I was in shit, but i'd deal with it. I'd find a way to wriggle free and get out of it and I'd do so without pissing myself in the process. I'd dealt with a lot in the past and I couldn't let some druggie who I didn't know the first thing about make me hide away. 

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, only to awoken a few hours later by my alarm clock blaring Queens Of The Stone Age into the room. I normally went to bed late anyway, but as I'd found it harder to drift off the night before I was especially cranky with James at breakfast. He kept going on to Ray about how he'd make an excellent lawyer, or even banker like himself, when he was older. Which would have been nice if Ray had wanted to have that career. I, however, knew for a fact that Ray wanted the opposite of that, and in the end I had enough of Ray just nodding along and listening and snapped. 

"Has it ever occurred to you that children are not clones of their parents?" I asked as I placed down my empty bowl and cup on the side, sending him a glare that he quickly matched. "You know, sometimes kids have their own opinions and wishes on what they want to do for a living." Ray sent me a look that seemed to be a mixture of gratitude and what-the-hell-did-you-just-start. 

"Well yes" James raised an eyebrow "I mean, your parents aren't juvenile delinquents, they have respectable careers." 

"Take that back" I took a step towards him, my eyes probably flashing red from the way my blood was boiling "Take that the fuck back. Don't turn this around and make it about me. Your perfect son dosen't want to follow in your footsteps forever, that's what this is about. Give him some space to be his own person, for fucks sake." 

"And what would you know? Unless you grow up, you won't even have the option of having a decent career. Don't preach about things you don't understand" he was patronising me on purpose, and I hated it. Part of me just wanted to go over and punch him right in his smug little face, but somehow I managed to find some sort of self-restraint within me, probably because I knew I had bigger problems than that prick. Instead I just stepped towards him, fists balled at my sides, and gave him my signature response. 

"Fuck you" I spat in his face, quite literally, and then stormed out the room, throwing on my beaten, second hand leather jacket on and grabbing my bag. Then I was out the door and down the driveway before he could even wipe my saliva off his face. 

It was in music that I managed to get some time alone with Oli. Kellin had gone to find some better amp cables, meaning it was just me and him in the practice room. 

"Hey, i've been meaning to ask you" I started, sitting down against the wall with my knees pulled up to my chest "That Dewees guy from the party the other week, you don't happen to have his number do you?" 

"And why would you wan't that?" He teased, raising an eyebrow "And there I was thinking you weren't in to him." 

"I'm not I just need to ask him about this type of amp he recommended to me, only I was too drunk to remember the name and I could really do with a new one-" I started to ramble on, trying to add to my excuse when he didn't buy it but only making it look less believable. 

"Frank, save it" He pulled out his phone "I'm texting it to you know. Just don't turn into one of those irritatingly lovestruck couples. We all already have to deal with kellin and Vic as it is, we don't need that shoved in our face too." There was hint of bitterness in his tone that I don't think came just from seeing Vic and Kellin together. I remembered what Chantal had said about how Oli was in love with that Hannah girl, and yet he wasn't sure if she felt the same. No wonder he didn't like spending time around couples. 

"Thanks" I pulled my own phone out and added the number to my contacts "And Oli?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Chantal told me about the.. stuff.. you have going on and er.." Oh crap why did I think of mentioning it at all? I was probably just going to upset him now "Well, I know I'm probably not the first person to go to on relationship advice, but I think if you love someone you need to tell them. Otherwise you might both feel the same way but neither of you ever says anything and then... well, yeah." I stumbled over my words a couple of times, but at least I seemed to get my point across to some extent.

"Thanks" He sighed after a moment "I er, I'm not good at talking relationships either, and I definitely won't bore you with that shit, but thank you." I got the impression that Oli kept his deep emotions to himself and tended not to share them. Which was probably why whenever he wrote lyrics they were the type of poetry that knew exactly where to hit you. Honestly, when I read some of the lines he wrote I felt like he was looking right into my soul and pulling his inspiration from there. 

If we were teenage girls, I'm sure we would've had no problem discussing our feelings and love lives, but we were angst-filled teenage boys who tended to want to talk about anything but. Well, at least in Oli's case that was true. Mine was more that I couldn't talk about my love life without landing Gerard in shit.

"No problem" I sighed just as Kellin re-entered the room, the tray of amp leads in his hand and his guitar pick balanced between his teeth. 

"What did I miss?" He asked, placing the tray down. 

"Nothing" Me and Oli both snapped at the same time. He bought it and just picked his lyric sheets back up, probably too busy thinking about his own relationship to realise we'd just been discussing our own ones. Well, at least what Oli thought was my one. Little did he know, hey? 

I contemplated calling Dewees on my way to Gerard's. It was on my mind the whole way there, no matter how loud I turned my music up, the sound of AFI blasting through my eardrums and surely contributing to my slowly-growing deafness. 

I knew I should just call him and get it out the way, but I was nervous about how he'd take it. What if he was still with that guy when i rang him? What if I landed both of us in shit when that guy realised we knew each other? 

I brushed it off and told myself I'd call him later on that night when he'd have got home and be alone. I knew it was vital that I spoke to him and made sure I had his silence, but right now I just wanted to see Gerard and forget about my troubles for a little bit. Well, technically he was one of them, but for the moment he was my relief. 

When I got to his house he wasn't there, so I sat down on his porch, my headphones still in, and lazily flicked through my phone. I ended up just scrolling through twitter and laughing at Pete's snap chat stories, which consisted of him eating huge amounts of pizza and a picture of Patrick asleep. 

My music was playing so loud that I didn't even notice his car pull up outside. In fact, it was only when a pair of boots appeared in my line of vision and a hand reached down to pull one of the earbuds out of my ear that I looked up and met eyes with Gerard, who was grinning down at me.

"I could hear your music from like five feet away" He chuckled "Linkin Park - right?" 

"yeah" I paused my phone and pulled out the other headphone as I rose to my feet, shoving the thing away in my bag and giving him my full attention "So, are you going to let me in or are you going to make me wait here some more?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh right, yeah" he giggled a little and opened the front door, letting me step inside first. As soon as he'd shut the door behind him, I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and started to kiss him, going straight in for sloppy open mouths and not even bothering to wait before I started to run my hands through his hair. 

At first he was a little shocked, but he quickly started to kiss me back, his hands going straight to my waist where he pulled my hips against his, making me moan against his mouth. He wasted no time in flipping us around and pushing me up against the wall, dropping his bag to the floor in the process. 

"I missed you" I mumbled as he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine "How come you were so late?" To say i'd been craving him for the last 48 hours would have been an understatement. It was almost worrying how badly I couldn't get him off my mind. From his eyes, to his smirk, to how he felt pressed against me... 

"Long Skype call with Brian, went on longer than I thought it was going to" He muttered, slowly letting one hand fall so that it was brushing along my belt, coming to rest on the buckle. His other hand travelled down to my ass and stayed there as he bit his lip, as if daring me to make him move it.

"In future tell him you have plans." 

"Somehow I don't think telling him I was off to fuck a seventeen year old boy would really go down well with him" He rolled his eyes "Although he's coming home soon so I'm going to have to start making up more excuses. We'll work that out when he's back though. Right now I just wanna be with you, no interruptions" He started to place kisses down my neck until he reached the collar of my t-shirt. "Your clothes are irritating me." 

"Get rid of them then" I chuckled as he pulled my t-shirt over my head and went back to working on my belt. After a moment of fumbling around with the clasp he undid them and left me to pull them off over my ankles, removing my trainers and socks whilst I did so. By the time i'd finished doing that he'd also pulled his own jeans and shirt off. We must have looked a sight - the two of us standing in his hallway in nothing but our boxers, but neither of us cared. 

"You've been driving me mad all day" Gerard mumbled as we stumbled into his living room. "I had to pick out hymns and listen to people rant in the confessional and all the time all I could think about was what I wanted to do to you as soon as we were alone." 

"Then go ahead" I bit my lip, loving the look on his face when I did so "I'm all yours." 

My back collided with the sofa as he pushed me down into the cushions, straddling my hips with this goddam smirk on his face that made my boxers feel tight and restraining. He seemed to realise the effect he was having on me, because he slowly ran his hands up and down my sides before toying with the elastic of my boxers. 

"Fuck Gerard" I groaned when he slowly started to pull them off me, taking his precious time and even biting his lip as he did so in this way that made me want to fuck him senseless "You're such a tease." 

"You know it" he winked as his hand grasped my dick, making he squirm underneath him. His hand moved down to the inside of my thigh, making me feel cold without his grasp. Luckily, that coldness only lasted a second, because the next thing I knew he was going down on me, his warm mouth wrapped around my tip with his lips tightening around me. 

"Fuck!" I gasped when he started to move down, taking more and more of me into his mouth until I could feel myself practically hitting the back of his throat. He moved up and down, licking and sucking until I was grasping at anything I could get a hold of - from the nearby cushion to his hair- whilst he just worked away, rubbing against my inner leg as he did so. "Gerard I'm so close, ah shit" I moaned when I hit the roof of his mouth, and he just kept going down until I couldn't take it anymore - I came straight into his mouth and watched him swallow the lot. 

"I've been wanting to do that all day" he grinned, pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand "You have no idea how hard waiting all these hours has been. Just knowing you were coming over, that I'd get you to myself again" I was still too out of breath to talk, so I just listened to him as he pressed kisses all up my stomach until he reached my neck. He stopped when he reached my mouth, pausing before he placed one long kiss to my lips. 

"For someone who just figured out they were gay you sure do know how to suck someone off" I mumbled, voicing the only thought that was running through my mind. He just giggled and kissed me again, climbing back so that I could sit up. He was still straddling me though, so I got to keep my hands wrapped around his waist. 

"It kind of comes as second nature when I'm with you" he admitted, tucking some of my hair behind my ear "I guess you're just that fucking pretty." 

"I like it when you call me pretty" I admitted. There was just this way the word dripped from his lips lik syrup, his accent twanging through as he pronounced the word. It seemed even stronger than my own one. 

"Good because I like calling you it" He twisted my hair around his index finger "You're the prettiest guy i've ever seen and it turns me on."

"You're not so bad yourself" I winked and leaned forward, connecting our lips again. He kissed me back with less haste this time, going gently with me. His left hand was still in my hair and the other was on my waist, whilst my remained on his shoulders.

"Stay here a bit with me" Gerard mumbled when we broke apart "I'll get a blanket and we can just watch crappy TV and talk about crappy topics and just be together."

"Sounds ideal" I smiled, watching him stand up, still only wearing his boxers, and head off in search of a cover for us both. I located my own underwear and pulled them on (they'd ended up on the floor next to the sofa) whilst I waited.

He was back within about five minutes, carrying a blanket, a bag of popcorn and his box set of Star Wars. His hair was messed up and he still had that cute little smile on his face that made me feel weak at the knees.

"You got a favourite?" He asked, handing me the box set.

"Revenge Of The Sith please" I pulled out the DVD and handed it to him. 

"Nice choice" He grinned before placing it into the player and curling up on the sofa with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, effectively spooning me from behind, and threw the blanket over us so we wouldn't get cold. I think that's when I knew it had to be more than casual fucking - you don't curl up and watch Stars Wars unless you really like someone, right? 

I curled into him so that we were touching wherever possible, and settled down to watch the film with a content sigh, never having felt so at peace and happy, like I was sealed away from the world, even if only temporarily. 

It was just after the lava fight scene that I dozed off, Gerard seeming to follow suit. It was only when my phone started to ring that we woke up, the two of us sitting up groggily and rubbing at our eyes in an attempt to wake ourselves up. 

Much to Gerard's protest, I pulled myself up off the sofa and located my jeans (which were out in the hallway) and pulled out my phone, seeing Ray's contact flash up on the screen. 

"Hey" I answered with a yawn. 

"Hey, where are you? You were expected home over an hour ago and my parents think you're up to no good again" I glanced at the clock and saw that we'd slept for longer than I'd intended. 

"Oh. Whoops" I chuckled "Tell them I stopped round at a friend's and got delayed, i'll be back within half an hour."

"Oh don't worry I already covered for you, and I just need you to get home so that they don't think i'm lying" He laughed "I told them you were with Lynz actually, and it seems to have bought you some time. As long as you don't come home looking like you've got laid then I think it'll be fine." 

"I'll try my best to look like a sad virgin then" I replied, making him laugh again. 

"Just get home Frank" He hung up then and I started to collect my clothes together whilst Gerard watched me from the sofa. 

"I have to get going" I said, halfway through pulling my jeans back on. 

"I figured" he yawned "See you tomorrow?" 

"Of course." 

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Ayye an update (Even if it is at like 2am whoops but then that's kind of my smut-writing time.)

This hit 2k Votes AND 2k comments at basically the same time so thanks guys! Always good to know I'm not alone with the whole Priest Gerard fetish thing. 

I saw Gerard live at Reading and the MAKEUP IS BACK WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE. I met him recently too and he's the sweetest person ever :)