Eighteen

The fact that I didn't get to see Gerard the next day made the whole day seem like a drag. Like a bad cigarette that made you cough and splutter because you'd inhaled it the wrong way. That's what I got, at least, when I lit one up behind the school bins. I was standing behind them with Oli and Kellin, me and OLi were smoking whilst Kellin, who wasn't addicted to the dangerous and expensive sticks, was scribbling furiously into a notebook. He was trying to come up with some lyrics for a song we'd been working on, so we'd gone outside to 'refresh our brains.' 

Really, we just wanted to get out of class and piss around, but Kellin figured we should at least make a start. 

My day had been shitty so far. I was noticing every little thing that was in any way irritating or just plain bad and piling up all these things in my head. I didn't have time for coffee before I left for school, meaning my eyes felt heavy and the day seemed to stretch on and on. Then we'd had to start drafting essays for the first two periods and there was this one piece of my fringe that was insisting on sticking up to the side no matter how many times i smoothed it down. 

I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that the main reason i was annoyed was because Gerard was busy and I was going to have to go home early or hang around the town. I felt like i was hooked on the moments we had together. I'd never felt like that before about anyone, but every time he touched me - even if it was just his shoulder bumping into mine - i felt more alive than I ever did back in Jersey.

"You guys wanna do anything tonight? I don't have to go the church but my aunt and uncle don't know that, so I've got a couple of hours" I asked them both, not wanting to go back to that house any earlier than necessary. The more time I spent away from there, the better. 

"I'm seeing Vic tonight, but you're welcome to come along" Kellin grinned like the lovestruck idiot he was. 

"I wouldn't want to third wheel on your date" I stubbed out my cigarette. I'd once had to third wheel on Pete and his ex-girlfriend Ashlee (this was before he figured out he liked guys) and it had been excruciating. They'd just made out and made inappropriate comments around me and made me cringe the whole time, hence making me vow never to third wheel on a couple ever again. 

"Okay one, it's not a date, we're just hanging out. We'll save the making out for later, I promise" Kellin chuckled "Besides, you won't be third wheeling if someone else comes along" He turned to Oli "What do you say, Sykes? Up for hanging out after we get out of here?" 

"Sure, what did you have in mind?" He asked, stubbing his own cigarette out next to mine "you wanna go tagging again Frank? Last time was pretty fun..." I thought back to a few days previously when I'd been holed up in police custody with Lynz, and shook my head. 

"Maybe not today" I smiled. I'd give it a week or so to calm down before I picked the spray cans back up "Let's just go hang out in the park or something. We'll grab something to drink along the way. It'll be fun, especially if a group of us go." 

That's how my whole gang of friends ended up heading to the park after school. Jimmy, Steve and Chantal brought along the alcohol, which we all contributed money towards, whilst Kitty brought one of those portable speakers so that she could plug her phone in and play some music. 

Vic arrived soon after we did, and after saying a brief hello to everyone sat down next to Kellin, their knees bumping every now and then. They kept catching each other's eye in a suggestive manner, and I knew that as soon as they were alone they were going to start making out within seconds. Luckily they held off whilst they were around us though, which was appreciated by everyone.

"So Vic, Kellin said you were in a band?" Chantal asked as we all sat around, most of us at a loss as to what to do. It was nice to be out there with all my newly-established friends, i really felt like one of them even though technically I was still the new kid. I knew I was incredibly lucky to have found these guys. I hadn't been expecting to make any ties whilst I was living with my aunt and uncle, but i'd made friends for life here.

"Oh, yeah" He smiled shyly "It's with my brother and our two friends. You won't have heard of us, mainly because we've only had three gigs. Well, four as of next weekend." 

"You're playing next weekend?" Kitty asked, sitting up a little straighter "Where abouts? I'd love to come and see you guys." 

"The XO club, it's about ten minutes from here" He smiled, seeming to come alive when talking about his band "You're all welcome to come, it'd be good if someone at least new our name there." 

"They're called Pierce The Veil" Kellin interjected "You should hear their demos, they're brilliant. You'll be signed within no time, Vic." He put his arm around Vic's shoulders and I heard Kitty give a little 'awww' under her breath at the two of them together. 

"We should all go - shotgun Lynz's car!" Jimmy cried. 

"Shotgun!" Chantal, Kitty and Steve all beat the rest of us to it. 

"That's my car full, how are rest of you going to get there?" Lynz asked the remainder of us. 

"Ray could drive us" I felt myself saying "I mean, he likes that sort of music so would probably want to go, and he has a car. Vic's making his own way with his band, so it's just me, Kellin and Oli." I should have probably asked Ray first, but I was confident that I could talk him round. 

"Sounds good to me" Oli nodded "Toro always seemed like a good guy." 

I leaned back against the tree and smiled, glad that I now had some plans in my social life. I missed the music scene - I hadn't been to a concert in ages and after a while I tended to get a sense of withdrawal. I was excited to meet the rest of Vic's band too, and especially to see what they performed like. 

After about an hour in the park, with everyone furiously planning our transportation and general arrangements for the next weekend, we all went our sperate ways. Kellin and Vic were going back to Kellin's, Lynz had to get home before her dad got even madder with her, and once they left the others figured they'd go too. 

"You coming Frank?" Oli asked as he got to his feet. 

"Nah, i'll come in a second" I sighed, scrolling through my phone "I'm not exactly in a rush to get home. I might sit here for a bit. Think things over, you know, that sort of thing." He nodded and picked up his bag. 

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow Frank" He smiled before heading off after the others, leaving me alone to rest against the tree. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a drag as I watched a few people walk by, none of them really noticing me where i was half hidden by the tree. I preferred it that way anyway, it gave me more privacy. 

It felt good to be alone and able to think for once without any distractions (except the nicotine passing through my lungs.) Of course, I found myself thinking about Gerard. It was impossible not too, even though there were plenty of things on my mind. From dealing with my family to what had happened with Lynz earlier on in the week, or even how she was supposedly my girlfriend. 

All I could picture was the image of his face when he came, or the way it had felt when he'd pulled my clothes off, or when we'd lied in his bed with skin-to-skin contact. I knew we'd gone too far to ever fully go back, and for some reason that just made me grin to myself as I sat there, wondering when we'd next get to repeat those activities. 

I stubbed my cigarette out and stood up, deciding to go and search for a bin to despose of it in. Normally I wouldn't bother, but it was a nice park and I didn't want to ruin it. My parents would be proud. Well, not of the smoking part, but the thought was there. 

I headed around the back of the park, spotting a bin right in the corner. I headed over and dropped the butt into the bin, and was about to turn around and leave when something caught my eye. I could see something inside the roof of the bin. I could only make out the shadow of it, but it was obviously stuck there. 

At first i wondered if it was just a massive piece of gum, and so I crouched down to see if my assumption had been right. 

Instead my eyes zoned in on a packet of white powder that was sellotaped to the roof of the bin. I wasn't an idiot, I knew instantly that I'd found a dead drop for someone's drug order. I quickly turned and scanned the park behind me, seeing nobody around. Maybe whoever it belonged to hadn't arrived yet? I hoped not, for my sakes. 

I pulled the pack down and then held it up, inspecting it. There was no writing or anything that could give me any clues at to who had left the drugs there or who was going to pick them up. I was guessing from it's appearance that it was cocaine - it certainly looked like it.

"Frank?" I jumped, jerking around to see none other than Dewees standing there, arms crossed as he stared at me with a guarded expression. His eyes travelled from the bag in my hand and then back to me. But he didn't look shocked or angry, he just looked nervous. 

"Oh. Hey" I gulped, not knowing what to say. Last time I'd seen him he'd kissed me and then I'd rejected him, and now I was standing there with cocaine in my hand. And the more I looked at him, and the more he kept glancing at the bag, I slowly realised that this wasn't just anyone's drugs. They were his. 

"Dewees? What's the hold up-" Someone called, and before I could react or run or do anything that anyone with half a brain would do, another guy had rounded the corner, and was staring at me with horror. I'd never seen this guy before, but I got the feeling I'd never want to see him again either. He was a big-build guy with stubbly hair and a scowl that made me feel like a deer trapped in the headlights. 

"This guy was just leaving, weren't you?" Dewees looked at me with big eyes, as if to say follow my lead and don't fuck this up. I noticed he didn't say my name, which must have meant he was covering for me on some level. 

"Er, yeah" I dropped the package to the ground like it was hot lava, all the whilst cursing my curious personality and wondering why I hadn't got the fuck out of there whilst I had the chance. I'd forgotten how much people used parks for drug drops, and this one was certainly perfect for the job. "Just leaving." 

"Nice try" The guy scoffed "But first I need a word with you" He took a step closer to me and that was when Dewees looked at me with startled and scared eyes, telling me all I needed to know. 

Run. 

I took off in the opposite direction and ran as fast as I could towards the exit of the park and civilisation. My bag was constantly hitting against my hip and the few people still in the park were giving me odd looks, but I didn't stop for anything. 

Luckily I'd had practice with running away. There was always a cop on my tail or a siren in the distance with my lifestyle, only now I would give all my spray cans and more for it to be a cop chasing me instead of some sort of drug dealer with an agenda. 

I didn't tire easily, and I was back on the main road and running home before I slowed my pace down to a walk. I cut through housing estates, through back alleyways and doubled back on myself several times to make sure i'd lost them completely before I headed home. 

My heart was pounding in my chest, and not just from the running. I was trying to process everything that had just happened all in one go. Dewees, the guy i'd spent ages talking to and even kissed, was a cocaine addict, and he seemed to be buddies with some hardcore addict-possibly-dealer that would surely kick my ass if he ever saw me again. I'd witnessed them both coming to pick up the drugs, and not only that but i'd seen their faces.

People like that always had backup. I knew that much. If I turned them in then they'd surely get to me. Especially as I didn't know the other guy's name. No, it was better to keep quiet for now and pretend nothing happened, show them that I could be trusted. It wasn't like the police were big fans of me anyway. 

I ran straight in through the front door and up to my room without even acknowledging my aunt, uncle, or even cousin. I just didn't have the patience for small talk after what i'd just experienced. I'd wanted something to take my mind off Gerard for a bit, but I hadn't meant something this extreme. 

Just when I thought I was in enough shit, this comes along. How was I suppose to carry on as normal now? My parents had sent me to England for a clean start, not to become some witness in a drugs bust for crying out loud. 

I sat down on the edge of the bed and reached the only conclusion I could think of for the time being - I'd change up my appearance. I'd get some piercing, and maybe if that rumour I'd heard about Steve having a brother who could tattoo underaged people for the right amount of money, get inked. I'd maybe get a haircut, something that would make them stop and wonder if they had the right person if they ever saw me again. 

Of course, this would only work if Dewees really was on my side. He certainly seemed like he wanted to help me when he pretended like he didn't know me and tried his best to get me out of the shit I had landed myself in, but if he caved then he could tell them my name, my college, my friends. Hell, if he spoke nicely to the others he could probably get my address. 

It was then that I realised I had to see Dewees again. I had to talk to him and make sure he wasn't going to rat me out. I had to know who that guy was and if he was coming after me. I had to see him again, because right then he was my only hope of cleaning up my mess before i sunk in it.

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