Die 2*

Here is the summary of Die 1 for those who have forgotten and do not wish to read it now.

The doctor tells Ajax that Alaina can never be a mother because due to the abuse in her childhood although her external injuries have been healed but her uterus is so fragile that she would not able to support another child and might die. Ares was already a miracle and his bluish-grey eyes are due to the fact that he had almost choked into Alaina's womb.

Ajax's Pov

"Ajax please.....please." My Laina was crying, begging and asking to me what was wrong. I could only crush her body to my chest and silently cry in her neck. I could never tell her, I cannot sin to take the only thing she was proud of from herself.

It was only a month since our baby had graced the world and she was so brave, so good that she never uttered a word about pains that I knew she faced everyday to support our Ares in her womb.....just for my sake, so that I would not be worried.

She was so excited for this,to carry our children in her womb despite the atrocious pain she had to go through and this was going to be the first time I was lying to her and lord bless me, this must be the last.

"Baby" I whispered, my red rimmed eyes clashing with her broken browns as her lips quivered thinking that she did something wrong and I realized how delicate my baby was, such abuse that she encountered in past had made her so insecure, even after these many years all it required was one word out of me, a single sentence and my precious treasure would break.

I had the power to destroy her completely, to rip her soul in shreds and I knew she would not rise again.she would die of heartbreak.

The woman who deserved the world and every single thing that was beyond comprehension would be devastated because of a man like meeven though I was a killer she had given me such an high position in her heart. I absolutely did not deserved her..so pure and beautiful, nobody deserved her.

I cupped her face wiping her tears and she looked at me with those innocent wide eyes of hers filled with fear and anxiety.

"Baby I need your forgiveness, I beg for it." I held her petite waist, her body trembling when I took her to the bed simply seating her in my lap so I could cover her in my embrace, protect her from all the demons that she was fighting for so long.

"Jax p-please tell me w-what is it?"  she sniffled, her arms holding my shirt for comfort.

Lord forgive me

"Baby I can never be a father again."  The pitter patter of rain seemed to get heavier with the silence prevailing, a lightning flashed making her sorrowful face glow for a moment from the light coming from the windows before the thunderous cloud roared.

"Jax" she did not said much, did not asked me a single question just held my face in her palm as her thumb gently stroked my jaw as a single tear trailed down my eyes and her façade of holding herself together cracked as she kissed my forehead, covering my face in those small butterfly kisses.

"I went to the doctor today for Ares's reports and..she told I would never be able to give you a child again." Lies so many lies I was sputtering out, looking in those eyes that I vowed to see always glowing with happiness, those were the eyes that I looked straight into while lying.

"It doesn't matters to me...Oh my god!"  she put her palm against her mouth and sobbed looking at my face thinking that I was sad because I found myself unworthy of her because of this.

"Do you think I will hate you? In this world its only you Jax.....god! please tell me Ajax how dare you even think that for a second that I might....."her lips wobbled as her arms encircled my waist holding me tightly and I cannot help but pull her impossibly closer to my heart at that moment.

"I love you so much and I-I will love you till my last breath, in this life and after death. You have given me the best gift of the world Ajax, you gave me Ares and I would want nothing else, please Jax please I love you so much."

She was a hypocrite, my precious queen was a woman who was made of sparkling stardust and yet she was a hypocrite because how easy was for her to accept my flaws, even if I told her I cannot give her children when all her life she had wanted them she accepted it in a heartbeat. in a second but my fingers shook as I knew, if I told her the truth, if someday it came out that her uterus was so fragile she would never be able to be a mother she would hate herself.

And I loved her so much, I would never survive watching my Alaina drowning in self loathing.

"Jax I want you please. Please tell me that you love me." Her voice got low at the end, so vulnerable that I breathed sharply looking at her face that I have always wished to blossom with joy and right now my only concern was taking away the pain that treacherous feeling inside her eyes that she had not loved me enough, that she herself was not enough.

"I love you treasure. Love all of you sweet baby." My lips kissed her, felt her and hers breathed life in me. The soft texture of her skin, the feel of her silky hair against my fingertips, her smell...god she was my soul and I could not cherish her enough.

"No matter what happens princess I can never stop craving you."

______________________________________________________________________

Alaina's POV

"No matter what happens princess I can never stop craving you." those words were ringing in my ears, yesterday Ajax held me so tightly while sleeping...as if he was afraid that I would disappear.

An uncomfortable feeling blossomed in my heart, his majestic forest eyes always held such sincerity that it was unparalleled but yesterday they were misty, sad but determined. I could understand his heart feel him and although he was sad but there was much more to that pain...more than he showed.

I had known him for all those years and never did he once let me cry then why yesterday....he would only let me hurt....NO! my eyes widen on their own accord, he would only let me hurt if.....if something even scarier was there to destroy me. What was he hiding?

_____ _____ ______ _____

The door to his office opened and there he was sitting, his head lowered, focusing on the piles of document that surrounded him but when those mystical irises met mine all hell broke loose.

He stood up sensing something was wrong as he called out my name while I rushed to him in so much agony that my heart felt burning, banging my small weak fists against his chest.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you !!" My tears were dribbling down my face as sob after sob broke free from my chest.

My body laid limp after sometime, his stature supporting me as I cried horrendously burying my face into his safe hold.

"I f-failed you."

He lied to me, didn't even cared about ruining his name, there was nothing wrong with him, he was my god and me....I was his biggest mistake. I couldn't even-

"Please stop, baby listen to me."

"I a-am so sorry, I am so so s-sorry." I couldn't even do a single thing well, my Ares, i almost killed him, I almost killed my baby i-

He scooped me up into his arms as his lips met mine in a punishing kiss, my crying ceased and yet he wasn't satisfied. The collision of his mouth bruising mine, punishing me and not letting me even utter a single word defined how he felt.

He took in the inner chambers of the office, straight into the conjoined bedroom. My tears mingling with his as he settled me down onto the bed not letting himself separated from me even for a moment as I facepalmed and wailed.

"You have no valor Alaina Waylon, you are the Queen of the mafia dynasty yet your promises are hollow and your word don't hold any meaning." His hands removed mine from my face staring straight into my soul as his eyes met mine.

"You promised me, this Ajax Waylon that you belong to me, that I own you and not yourself. Who has given you the power to utter even a single wrong word about yourself because in reality you have no power over your mind, soul, body...all of that is mine.

Tell me Alaina, till yesterday when it was me you did not ask even a single question on my incompetence and today as soon as you know about your flaw you dare come infront of your husband with so much hatred for yourself.

Didn't you say you love me? Then who the fuck gives you the authority to hate what I love the most in the entire world?" My crying ceased as I looked at him gathering me into his arms and rocking me back and forth. We were in that position for an hour, me clinging to him as he scolded me and poured all his feelings.

I never knew that he was aware of my self loathing. He was hurting because I was hurting, my every tear had made his heart bleed and his every word was an awakening.

I can not continue like this

can not teach my child self love if I know nothing about it myself

cannot hurt my Ajax anymore and today was the day I have decided to love my scars, to love my flaws.....to love Ajax's Alaina because true to his word I was his.

"Do you love me?" I was an insane woman to ask my husband that question with my glassy eyes and yet he did not say anything but showed me.

Lowering onto the bed, his one hand held my neck gently while the other supported him above me. His lips made contact with my skin, every inch of it that was visible was kissed by him before he took off my frock.

He painted me in colors of love, every single thrust was gentle, I felt him. Him whispering my name as he made love to my body and soul. Made me feel so much appreciated that i did not had any tears left to cry.

He just loved me and made me love myself.

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