CHAPTER FIFTEEN.
you're everything i ever wanted

     BY THE TIME Feyre Blanchard returned back to her mother's hospital room, she was shocked to find doctors and nurses surrounding the woman's bed while her dad stood in the corner of the room.

     It was in that moment, Feyre's mind was starting to think the worst had already happened. That while she had left the building to get some fresh air, her mom slipped away and succumbed to her life threatening wounds. The thought alone was enough to make Feyre's heart drop down to the pit of her stomach, and her chest tighten with sickening dread. Feyre believed she would be absent when her mother died, believing the woman would fade from the land of the living after she returned back to camp. If her mom was going to die, Feyre wanted it to happen while she was gone. It sounded horrible if she ever said it out loud, but the girl believed she wasn't strong enough to watch her own mom die right in front of her eyes.

     However, knowing there was a high chance her mom was dying right now as she approached the room, the thought made Feyre want to run into the opposite direction. She felt the tears prick at her eyes, and her throat become dry and scratchy as her breath suddenly became heavy. Feyre wished she could turn and run to avoid the pain and insurmountable grief that was bound to follow after her. But when she made immediate eye contact with her father, who had lifted his gaze to stare directly back at her through the window to her mother's room, it made Feyre realise she had no chance of outrunning her problems. Not this time.

     So with a heavy heart, Feyre swallowed the thick lump lodged in the back of her throat, and with great courage, she found the strength to put one foot in front of the other. Feyre then continued to walk until she entered the room, watching as everyone turned to her. But she focused all her attention on her mom, still lying in the hospital bed. Except she wasn't dead like she had assumed before walking into the room. In fact, she was better. Her vitals were improving with each second that passed her bye. The breathing tube had been extracted from her throat. She wasn't awake yet, but she was improving at an alarming rate. Feyre was too surprised to even speak, her eyes full of bewilderment darting between her unconscious mother and the doctors who she hoped would have a reasonable explanation for such a dramatic turn in recovery.

     "I don't understand," Feyre muttered quietly under her breath. Despite the weird feeling of confusion that washed over her, Feyre also began to feel this sense of relief and joy because her mom was showing promising signs of recovery. "I was told to come as soon as possible because she could go at any minute. I don't understand how something like this could happen so quickly..."

     The doctor stared down at the shorter girl, his glasses balancing on the bridge of his nose before he made an attempt to part his lips to speak. But another voice was twice as quick to make themselves heard. "She's my daughter. I brought her here to say goodbye to her mom when we thought it was time," Apollo announced. The doctor clearly had doubts about sharing any information with a teenage girl dressed in a strange orange camp shirt that he's never heard of before.

     However, hearing her dad call her his daughter was enough to make her skin scorch with fiery rage. He had no right to call her his daughter when he hasn't once acted like a real father to her. Eighteen years of abandonment, and one good deed by escorting her to see her mom was all he had to show for. But she didn't want to cause a scene in front of the doctors and nurses who stared down at her with strange looks in their eyes. Feyre then let out a sigh and nodded. "Yeah. I was away at a summer camp when I got the news. Since my parents aren't together anymore, I'm actually the next of kin. So whatever you have to say about her recovery, you can say it to me," She corrected. Feyre could sense her father's stare burning into the back of her skull. She hoped she hit a nerve. He deserved every ounce of pain that came his way.

     The doctor's eyes flickered between the father and daughter for a moment before he nodded. "Right. Well, Miss Blanchard's condition was considered critical. She made it through two surgeries, and even then, we weren't sure if she would make it through the next couple of days," The man informed, flicking through her charts. "But she is already on the mend. We took the breathing tube out to see if she could breathe on her own, and she's already exceeding expectations. At this rate she could be going home in two weeks, maybe sooner if she wakes up within the next couple of days," He elaborated further, a kind smile etched at the corners of his lips, but there was no denying the confusion and astonishment in his voice.

     Not even a fully educated, and fully trained doctor could explain the phenomenon that was Rosalind Blanchard's sudden and speedy recovery.

     Then, one of the nurses in the room with them turned to Feyre with a kind smile of her own plastered across her face. "It's a miracle," She commented.

     Feyre couldn't help but let out a bitter chuckle before she turned around to face her father. Their eyes met for a moment and that was when it clicked what he had done. The Great Apollo found compassion in his heart, used his powers for good, and healed Rosalind Blanchard thus saving the woman's life. And while Feyre was overjoyed to know she would have more time with her mom, she couldn't help but still hate her father for what he had just done. "Yeah, a miracle..." She trailed off, her eyes narrowing into a hateful glare towards the man standing behind her.

     And that was the moment Apollo realised even his actions, no matter how good his intentions were, would always attract a negative reaction from his daughter because no matter what he did. . . he was nothing more than the deadbeat who let her down.

     Now that she knew her mom was going to be okay, Feyre knew it was time to go back home to camp. But she had made a quick promise to her mom before she left. She would stay at camp until after her eighteenth birthday, and then venture back to Brooklyn to take care of the woman and look out for her while also building a new life of her own outside of camp. Feyre wasn't so sure about leaving Camp Half-Blood at the start of the summer. She was afraid about leaving the people she cared about most behind. But it wasn't like she would be leaving forever. Feyre would be sure to come back and visit and even bring her sisters and Luke back with her for the holidays if that's what they wanted. She just hoped they would understand her decision to leave when the time came when she would have to tell them.

     Feyre couldn't be constant part in her father's world. She knew it was forced upon her the second she broke free from the confinement of her mother's womb. She would never be a normal girl. But now she was becoming a real adult and while she was living a childish life in the safety of camp, her mom was fighting for her life against a monster hellbent on killing her. Feyre knew it was time to grow up, leave her father's world behind now that she knew how to keep herself safe, and move forward with her dream of a normal life in the relatively normal world. It was what Feyre wanted more than anything. Well, that and someone else. But now wasn't the time to talk about him. She just hoped telling Luke would go well.

     For now, Feyre Blanchard was walking up Half-Blood Hill with her father trailing close behind her. After leaving the hospital, neither of them had anything to say to one another. Feyre just wanted to get back home to her family and friends, and put this dreadful day behind her. Whereas her father was itching to say something, and he knew deep down that if he even tried to utter a single word, then it would turn into an argument. Apollo sensed his daughter's resentment the moment she realised he was the reason her mom would survive the monster attack. The second the girl pieced those pieces together, he felt her relief, but also her anger. Except he didn't exactly understand why she would be angry towards him.

     And when the reached the top of the hill, standing by Thalia's tree on the outside of the magical barrier, that was when Apollo decided to make his voice heard. "You know, when a god does something as gracious as save your mother's life, you should say thank you. Or at least show some gratitude," He pointed out.

     Feyre stopped in her tracks and let out a loud and agitated scoff before she turned on her heel and faced her father. "Are you being serious?" She questioned, her voice laced with disbelief. But when Feyre witnessed the serious expression plastered across her father's face, she shook her head. "Wow. You gods are really some of the most self-centred people I've ever come across. And that's saying something since you're the only one I've ever met," She commented, her bitter voice causing for Apollo's jaw to clench as he placed his hands firmly on his hips.

     "I understand that you hate me," Apollo spoke up, stating the obvious. Feyre let out a bitter chuckle in response. "And today all I have done is try to appease you. I shouldn't even be here right now. If Zeus finds out I left Olympus to accompany you, well, let's just say the big man isn't going to be happy," He elaborated, becoming frustrated with the young girl's attitude towards him and his actions.

     Feyre couldn't help but roll her eyes in response. "So, you want me to say thank you for showing up when it was the last thing I wanted because you went against your dad's wishes?" She inquired, folding her arms over her chest. Apollo could see his statement didn't phase the girl, causing for him to take a step towards her so he was now towering over the girl's smaller figure.

     "Look, I deserve your resentment. I acknowledge that I'm not perfect by any means and I could've done better by you," Apollo replied sternly, and Feyre swallowed thickly as her eyes met her father's. "But regardless of how you feel about me, you should still show me respect. I'm still your father, and you are still my daughter—"

     That was when Feyre Blanchard snapped.

     "No. You don't get to address me as your daughter, and you sure as hell ain't my dad," Feyre interjected harshly, cutting the man off as her voice echoed through the thick summer air. Feyre scoffed again, her angered expression and her big brown eyes filled with fury and rage staring daggers into the man's soul. That's if he had one, Feyre thought. "You know, growing up, mom would tell me stories about my dad. She told me he was brave, and kind, and nurturing, and strong. She would talk about you like you were the sun. Like you were her entire world because she loved you. She would tell me that you couldn't be here because it was better that way, and for years I believed her, and thought you would show up when it mattered most."

     "And I did," Apollo snapped back at his daughter.

     "No, you didn't," Feyre argued, shaking her head in the process. "Do you know what it was like? Growing up as the weird kid because you could predict the future? Because you saw things that not everyone else could see? Well, I do, and it was goddamn terrifying," She questioned in a rhetorical manner, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.

     Apollo's gaze then softened for a moment while he continued to stare down at Feyre. Then a sigh escaped past his lips. "I knew you would be okay. You're my daughter, and if you were anything like me, I knew you could handle—"

     "But I am not a god. I'm not like you!" Feyre exclaimed loudly, her arms dropping back down to her sides as she turned away from her father for a moment. The girl inhaled sharply while she composed herself before she faced the man once again. "Mom was great at raising me. She was and still is the best parent I could've asked for, but there were times when she couldn't help me."

     Apollo bit down on the inside of his cheek. "Feyre—"

     "I needed you," Feyre replied, nodding her head with a sad and bitter look glazed over her teary eyes. "I needed you when I woke up screaming from my night terrors. I needed you when the kids at school pushed me to the ground and called me a freak. I needed you to tell me that it was okay to be different. I needed you for every birthday and every Christmas for the last eighteen years. I needed you, and you weren't there!" Feyre snapped again, pressing her hands firmly against her father's chest and shoving him backwards with as much brute strength as physically possible.

     And Apollo took it because deep down he knew he deserved it. The expression on Feyre's face, watching as the tears began to roll down her cheeks, told him everything he needed to know. He let her down. And there was nothing he could say or do to make it right. Feyre shook her head again. "Then you show up after eighteen years on what was the worst day of my life. You saved my mom's life and I am grateful for that. But now I feel guilty for that," She informed.

     "I don't understand. Why would you feel guilty for something I did?" Apollo pushed, hoping to get an answer from the girl.

     "Because of the women you didn't save. You saved Delia's life but waited for her parents to die in front of her first. You let Alina's mom die while she brought your child into this world. You let Alina rot in the abusive foster homes for the majority of her life. Now I have to walk back into camp and tell them my mom will be okay because you saved her. And I feel guilty, but I shouldn't have to. You put me in that position," She explained. Feyre was beginning to get choked up by her words, but she persevered through it all. She had to get this off her chest sooner and not later. "Mom was wrong about you. You're not a good man. You're selfish, you're a coward, and I hope I never see you again. Do us both a favour and go back to pretending I never existed. It shouldn't be too hard for you since you're good at ignoring your children, right?"

     That was the last thing Feyre Blanchard said to her father before she turned around and ventured her way over the protective barrier and back into camp. And much to her relief, her father didn't follow her. But there was no denying the throbbing pain aching throughout her chest cavity. Feyre stood up to her father. It was the one thing she wanted to do for the last couple of years. However, turning her back on him still hurt like hell, and she couldn't help but grieve the father she wished she could've had by her side growing up. The father she would never know because he didn't exist. It was a sad and tragic reality, but one Feyre Blanchard knew she would have to accept soon enough. Maybe tomorrow she could, but for the remainder of the day, she would mourn for the dad she lost eighteen years ago.

     Feyre continued to make her way into camp, passing many familiar faces on her way back to her cabin. The girl hoped to go unnoticed during that time. She was upset and was almost ready to drop to her knees and cry until she couldn't cry anymore. She didn't want to feel vulnerable in the eyes of her fellow campers, her siblings, or even her best friend. She just needed to be alone until she was ready to be around others again after the day she's been forced to endure. She spent hours convincing the other cabins to rebel against their parents, followed by the horrifying news that her mom was dying, and meeting her dad for the first time and being forced to spend the day with him. Then her mom's life was saved by her deadbeat dad before she let out all her pent up anger for him, and now she was so grief stricken and exhausted that she couldn't face anyone right now. Not even the people she loved most of all.

     By the time Feyre reached the row of all twelve cabins, she quickly hurried to her cabin and slithered her way between the gaps of the double doors leading her inside. Feyre let out a shaky sigh of relief when she saw it was empty. There wasn't a single person in sight. Feyre then moved towards her bunk and picked up her acoustic guitar from the side of her bed (a gift from her father of all people), and her pen and notebook filled with poems and song lyrics before she turned around and made her way back outside the cabin. However, when she stepped back outside into the open, she was quickly met by Alina Sinclair who was heading back inside the cabin, the pair crossing paths in a small matter of seconds.

     When Alina realised it was Feyre she brushed past, she quickly pulled the girl back and quickly embraced her. "You're back," She sighed softly. The hug lasted for a couple more seconds before Alina pulled away with a concerned look evident in her eyes. "What happened? Is your mom okay?" She then asked, sounding almost frantic and desperate, like she needed Feyre's mom to be okay.

     Feyre inhaled sharply for a moment before she nodded, forcing a faint smile across her lips in the process. "Yeah. She's going to be okay. Actually, um, dad saved her life," She confessed. Feyre felt that overwhelming feeling of guilt wash over her. She hoped Alina wouldn't take the news in the wrong kind of way, and hold some sort of resentment towards Feyre for something that was completely out of her own control.

     "He did?" Alina questioned in a rhetorical manner. Feyre analysed her sister's expression for a moment to see she was shocked, puzzled, and even a little hurt by the news. Not because Feyre's mom would survive, but because their dad showed enough empathy to save the life of one of his lovers, but not her own mom when she was fighting for her life to bring his child into the world. It was unfair. Feyre knew that much for sure. Alina then nodded, and forced a smile of her own. "That's great news, Feyre. I'm really happy for you," She added, trying to fight through the dull aches pulsating sharply through her chest.

     "I know," Feyre replied. "Um, I'm going to head off into the woods for a bit to write some new music," She announced to Alina, changing the subject to ease the tension between the two sisters.

     Alina frowned slightly. "If you want, I can grab my guitar and keep you company for a while," She offered.

     "That's okay. I just want to be alone for an hour or two before dinner. I need to clear my mind," Feyre retorted.

     Feyre's choice of words was enough to make Alina's face contort from confusion to genuine concern and worry for her older sister. Feyre unfortunately had a reputation for shutting down and shutting people out when something wrong happened. It made Alina wonder if something had happened between Feyre and their dad while they were out of camp for the last couple of hours. Feyre made an attempt to leave her sister behind, slowly beginning to turn around in the process. That was when Alina chose to grab her sister by the upper arm, her hand wrapping gently around her bicep before she stared back at her, her eyes softening.

     "Hey..." Alina whispered softly. "Is everything okay?" She then asked. She wanted her sister to know that if there was something going on in that head of hers, then she could talk to Alina about it. That's what sisters were for after all.

     Feyre forced another small smile across her lips before she nodded her head. "Yeah. I just need some time to myself. But I'll see you later for dinner," Feyre reassured the girl. She then turned on her heel and took herself, her guitar, and her notebook into the woods where she could be alone.

     But all Alina Sinclair could do was continue to worry. If there some harsh exchange between Feyre and their father, knowing about all the resentment between the girl and the man, then there was no denying there had to be some sort of back and forth between the pair. It more or less likely contained malice words filled with hate and cruelty from Feyre, and nothing more than excuses from Apollo. And if it was enough to upset Feyre this much to the point where she deemed it fit to seclude herself from everyone she knew, Alina had no other choice but to worry until she saw a genuine and authentic smile on her sister's face again. If only Feyre would talk to her the same way she would talk to. . .

     And that was when it clicked — Luke. She would talk to Luke.

     Right on cue, as if he sensed that Alina needed him, the girl felt a presence linger behind her, but she was too focused on her concerns about Feyre to turn around, or even engage in any form of conversation with him. Luke Castellan quickly noticed this and placed his hand gently on Alina's shoulder, snapping the girl back to reality. Alina then shook her head and blinked a few times before she turned around to face the boy, lifting her gaze to meet his own. Luke stared down at the girl's face for a moment, a small smile etched at the corners of his lips. But when he noticed the sadness and worry in her big brown eyes, he empathised with the girl and quickly noticed something was wrong.

     "Hey, is everything okay?" Luke asked. And Alina knew he was being sincere about his concerns. Luke always treated Alina and Delia like family, and sometimes he felt like the big brother they needed. Especially Alina, who grew found sibling-like relationships through her foster homes, but was torn away from her whenever her foster parents kicked her to the curb for being too difficult. Or whenever Alina felt the urge to run away.

     Alina turned back to the woods, staring into them for a short moment before she let out a sigh, turning her attention back to Luke. "Feyre came back just now," Alina informed. The mention of the girl was enough for Alina to hold all of Luke's undivided attention. He didn't say anything in response, allowing Alina to continue. "And her mom is going to be okay. My dad saved her life for Feyre. But she's been acting really weird since she came back. She just wondered off into the woods with her guitar saying she wanted to be alone. I think something happened between her and my dad," She elaborated further.

     Luke nodded his head in response. "Well, I can't imagine spending a day with a deadbeat going over well," He commented bitterly, folding his arms over his chest.

     "Would you talk to her?" Alina asked, sounding hopeful. Luke furrowed his brows in response, wondering what he could do or say to make the Blanchard girl feel better after the hell of a day she had just endured. "You get her more than anyone else. Believe it or not, you guys have this unspoken connection. If she'll talk to anyone about what happened, it's you," Alina explained to him.

     Luke stared down at the girl for a short moment. There was a split second he was uncertain about talking to Feyre, because as much as he wanted to, he didn't think he was the right person. But after hearing what Alina had to say about him and Feyre, and how they had this connection unlike anything Alina has ever seen before. A connection so strong that it could be enough to make Feyre open up again, Luke felt the responsibility to do what Alina was asking of him because he was Feyre Blanchard's best friend and he cared about her more than anything else in the world. There was nothing more important than her right now. So the boy nodded his head, allowing Alina to sigh in relief when she realised Luke would help Feyre past this troubling stage in her life.

     After all, it was him and Feyre against the world.

━━━━━━━━

     Feyre Blanchard plucked on the strings of her acoustic guitar, the notes rose warm and resonant as they echoed through the desolate woodlands all around her. The girl hummed along quietly to the soft melody of her guitar, trying to think of some interesting lyrics to go with the new notes she had come up with after sitting alone in the woods for nearly an hour. This was always Feyre's favourite form of past time whenever she was upset and needed to be alone. If she was still shaken up by one of her night terrors, or if she was just having a bad day in general, she always liked to venturing off into the woods alone, or sitting down by the lake and strumming on her guitar until some string of poetic lyrics poured out of her creative mind. If Feyre could do this forever, she would.

     However, this time around, Feyre's mind was drawing a blank. She couldn't think of a single word, let alone a string of lyrics that flow beautifully with the soft melody she repeated over and over again on the music instrument sitting on her lap.

     She didn't know how one argument with her deadbeat father could rip all the inspiration from her head. She hated him even more for that alone. She hated how he had such a hold over her that she couldn't do the one thing she loved doing most of all. He sucked all the hope out of her, and now she was left alone to rot in her own desolate solitude. And that made Feyre Blanchard angry. So angry that the peaceful and beautiful melodic rhythm she was playing repeatedly on the guitar quickly turned dark and harrowing. She picked harshly at the metal strings until they sounded violent and distorted. It wasn't her usual style of music, but maybe a change of attitude would allow the inspiration to pour out of her again. That was when the lyrics sprung to her mind like a shot through the heart.

     "You pierce my heart with an arrow, through and through," Feyre began to sing, her shaky, yet beautiful and sweet voice travelling elegantly through the summer air. "That's the kind of damage only a father can do."

     Feyre stopped singing for a moment, and removed her hand from the strings of her guitar, putting an end to the violent sounds of harsh guitar strums. The girl then began to bathe in the comforting silence surrounding her. Nothing could be heard. Not the wind in the trees, nor the chirping of birds. It was completely and utterly quiet. Some would've found the silence deafening and even uncomfortable, but not Feyre Blanchard. She found the peace and tranquility in the quiet. This caused for the girl to let out a soft sigh before she leaned down and rested her chin against the cool wood of the acoustic guitar while she continued to sit on the stone bench in the middle of the woods alone.

     That was until she heard the familiar crunching of leaves. Feyre quickly lifted her chin from her guitar and looked over her shoulder to see Luke approaching her, a warm and kind smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You sounded good, but it isn't your usual sound," Luke commented, pointing out the obvious.

     Feyre let out a quiet chuckle, a faint and sheepish smile on her lips, but even Luke could see that it wasn't as genuine as she tried to make it appear to be. "Yeah, I'm not really in the joyful mood," She replied, shrugging her shoulders in the process. Feyre then removed the acoustic guitar from her lap and placed it down beside her.

     Luke slowly approached the girl before he took a seat on the stone bench next to her. He watched as Feyre stared down at her hands while she fiddled with the bracelets around her wrists. Luke quickly caught on that the girl was trying to avoid any eye contact with him. At first he didn't understand why. But then he thought back to all the other times Feyre Blanchard tried to avoid all eye contact with the people around her when she was upset or stuck in a feeling of isolation. It was because Feyre was trying to prevent herself from crying, and she was scared that if she met his eyes, then he would see the vulnerability in her that not many others could see up close, and she would fall apart.

     But Luke wanted Feyre to know that she could be vulnerable with him without fear or judgement. This caused for Luke too gently nudge Feyre by knocking his knee into her own. Feyre didn't dare look at him still. "I heard your mom's going to be okay...so whatever is making you feel like this, you can talk to me about it," Luke reassured the girl.

     Feyre stopped playing with the bracelets around her wrists before she let out a scoff. "Alina talked to you, didn't she?" She chuckled lightly.

     Luke nodded his head, lifting his gaze to look up at the trees displayed in front of his eyes before a sigh slipped past his lips. "She's just worried about you. And I am too," He countered, turning his attention back to the girl.

     Feyre sighed in defeat and finally found the courage to turn her head to the side. When Feyre's eyes met Luke's, he could see her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from all the crying she had done while she was alone in the woods. And even the way her bottom lip quivered when she allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of him. Between the heartbreaking look plastered across the girl's face, and the new song lyrics she had been singing when he found her in the woods, it didn't take a genius to figure out that her mood was due to her experience meeting her father for the first time. And it made Luke Castellan angry to see Feyre Blanchard so broken. And all because of a man who didn't deserve someone as amazing as her for a daughter.

     It made Luke more than angry. It made his veins burn, fiery rage pulsating sharply through his bloodstream while it took all his strength to not explode from anger there and then. There was no denying Luke hated the gods, and if his plan worked, then he would be one step closer to erasing the gods from existence for good. However, when he saw Feyre appear to him so crushed and fragmented, it fuelled his desire to slaughter the gods one by one. He wanted to make them all suffer, especially Apollo, for hurting his daughter, and then when the Sun God was on his knees in front of him, he would make it known that he deserved to meet his end more than any of them. Even more than his own father, because someone capable of harming a girl as good and pure as Feyre Blanchard, shouldn't get to have a quick and painless death. And they sure as hell don't get to live.

Feyre sniffled quietly. "My dad told me I was ungrateful because I didn't thank him for saving my mom's life," She announced, a kind of bitterness laced in her voice when she thought about her father.

Luke furrowed his brows in response to the girl's words, a puzzled look washing over his face. "What?" He inquired, hoping he didn't hear the girl right. There was no way Apollo told his daughter she was ungrateful when she had every right to resent him.

"Yeah, I was surprised when he told me that, too," Feyre replied as she nodded her head. The girl then bit down on the inside of her cheek, doing her best to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. "He said that he was risking a lot leaving Olympus unknowingly and coming down to see me, because apparently Zeus doesn't want him anywhere near me or my mom. I don't even know why. I didn't care enough to ask. And I am grateful for what he did. I still have my mom because of him. But he used that as like some sort of reason to not be mad at him anymore, like he wasn't the one who abandoned us in the first place."

     Luke clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Yeah, gods have a tendency to make excuses to justify their actions against their children," He agreed, like he was speaking from experience.

     "And then I begged him to make me understand why he would abandon me and my mom. If he cared about us so much, why leave?" Feyre continued to speak, her voice cracking in the process. "I just wanted him to make me understand, but he couldn't even do that. And I hate him. I hate him so much," The girl felt like breaking down there and then, but kept herself composed through it all.

     It grew silent for a moment between the pair. Feyre was doing everything in her power to not fall apart, and Luke could only stare at the girl sitting beside him, his heart aching in his chest when he saw the mess Apollo had caused. Luke hated seeing his best friend like this. He wished there was a way to make it all stop, to take her pain and bear it all for her. If he had that kind of power he would do it in a heartbeat. If it meant Feyre would have that beautiful smile on her face forever then he would take all her pain and make it his own. He wouldn't even have to hesitate. If only it was possible.

     "Is there something wrong with me?" Feyre asked, her voice snapping Luke out of his thoughts. He then blinked a few times in surprise before he watched as Feyre turned to him again, a stray tear rolling down her cheek. "I mean, is there a reason why he left? Or was it always something to do with me. Did I not live up to his expectations? Have I disappointed him more than enough times that—"

     "No. No, don't ever say that," Luke quickly interjected, reaching out and grabbing Feyre's hand with his own. The feeling of his skin against her own was enough to ease Feyre's anxieties, static electricity scorching across her body like wildfire. "There is nothing wrong with you, Feyre. You're good. You're kind. You're brave. And you're selfless. You're everything he's not. If you were to ask me, everything good about you comes from your mom and not Apollo. You want to know how I know that?" He asked, lifting his hand from Feyre's before he used his thumb to wipe away the tear falling down the girl's cheek. Luke then smiled,
"Because you're one of the coolest girls I've ever met."

All of a sudden, Feyre let out a loud snicker before she burst into laughter. This time though it wasn't fake, it was genuine. The playful grin forming across her lips was all the proof Luke needed to know he had successfully brought some light back to the girl's life after the cruel day she had previously endured. "Thank you," Feyre replied between the soft giggles that escaped past her lips.

Once his laughter had eventually died down, Luke gently nudged the girl once again. "That's what friends are for," Luke reassured before his eyes flickered down to the notebook placed on her lap. "So, anything good in there?" He asked, deciding to change the subject to something more positive. Feyre watched as he nodded down, gesturing towards the notebook in front of her, causing for the girl to shake her head in response.

"No. You know I don't like talking about what I write in here," Feyre argued, hoping Luke would drop it. But she should have been smart enough to know he would persist. Luke didn't say anything before he quickly reached over and took the notebook. He began to flick through the pages of scribbled lyrics and lines of poetry, which sent Feyre into a frenzy. "Luke, come on. Please, just give it back," She pleaded with him, laughing in a playful manner as she reached over, attempting to take the notebook back.

"Why?" Luke questioned, looking back at the girl with a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Scared I'll see something about me, Blanchard?"

Feyre rolled her eyes. "You wish!" She replied before she jumped up and grabbed the notebook from him. However, Luke's grip remained on the object, so when Feyre used her strength to try and snatch it back, she ended up pulling Luke with her, both of them losing their balance in the process. Feyre then felt her back hit the ground beneath her, followed by Luke falling on top of her with a low grunt as her notebook fell to the ground next to them. "I'm sorry," She apologised.

Luke pushed himself upwards so his arms were straightened out while he hovered over the girl, his tight smirk turning into a playful grin. While Luke continued to hover over her, Feyre began to stare deeply into his eyes, and in a small matter of seconds, she was lost in his chocolate brown gaze, swirls of chestnut hue glistening in the deeper depths of his eyes. And the longer she stared at him, admiring him from where she was lying, the more she began to get lost in the moment. One moment she was staring longingly into Luke's enchanting gaze, and the next, her lips found her way onto Luke's, pressing firmly against his own lips for a moment as she kissed him. But it was quick, sloppy, and the second it happened, Feyre was quick to pull away, a mix of horror and shock burning in her eyes. She was absolutely mortified.

Luke was surprised at first, not expecting Feyre's lips to ever meet his own as he pushed himself away from the girl. Feyre followed his lead and sat up from where she was previously lying on the ground, facing him with worry washing over her face. She saw the confusion, the shock, and the disbelief. She read it all over Luke's face like an open book. "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry, Luke," She apologised, her voice beginning to shake. She was so embarrassed, she wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

Despite the wave of emotions washing over him, Luke managed to clear his throat. "It's okay, Feyre—"

"No, it isn't okay," Feyre interjected rather abruptly, running a hand through her hair. She couldn't even look at Luke in the eye. She just continued to look around panicked while she began to speak again. "You're my best friend, and I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that since it's clear you don't like me like that. We've been best friends for the last four years and I don't want to ruin that for us. I think it's just better if we forget this ever happened and—"

     Feyre didn't even get the chance to finish her sentence before Luke's lips were on hers again. It surprised the girl at first, believing she would never feel that feeling of close proximity to Luke again after what she had done. But once the initial shock started to wear off, Feyre began to kiss Luke back, sparks and fireworks erupting into the air when she reciprocated those feelings she didn't think could exist between two friends. And unlike the previous kiss, this one was filled with more passion, tenderness and warmth. It made Feyre feel like she was on fire. The kiss, it was like she was diving into an ocean of the deepest and earnest depths of emotions and she was too swept up in the current to realise she was drowning and nothing mattered anymore. Not her father, not the security of the camp that was never her problem, not this war the gods were asking them to fight in if the quest wasn't completed.

     This is the only thing that mattered. This. This moment right here. These lips, Luke's lips, pressed against her own and moving together in perfect sync with one another and his hand reaching up to caress her face with a delicate touch, his fingers searing against her skin. So when she broke away from Luke, breathless, her eyes slowly meeting his own, she was almost rendered speechless. She wasn't sure if this was real, or some other dream like all the others that felt real, but were born out of her own imagination. But the longer her gaze lingered on the boy, followed by the soar of butterflies in her stomach, she realised this moment was in fact real.

     "You kissed me?" Feyre found the courage to ask. She wasn't surprised the kiss happened. She just didn't understand why Luke would pursue an action full of passion with her of all people. "Why?"

     Luke let out a playful scoff. "You really have to ask?" He questioned in a rhetorical manner. When Feyre remained silent, he took that as his opportunity to continue. "I've been crazy about you for the last two years. I never said or did anything because I didn't think you liked me like that. I didn't know if you ever could," He elaborated further. His words then caused for Feyre to furrow her brows together in confusion.

     "You had a crush on me?" She replied, almost finding it hard to believe that someone like Luke had a crush on someone like her.

     "You sound so surprised when I tell you that," Luke pointed out.

     "It's because it doesn't make sense. Why would you fall for someone like me?" Feyre argued, and Luke couldn't help but frown in response. "I mean, there's the girls from cabin ten who are obsessed with you. And I know you liked Thalia back when she was still alive. I'm not beautiful like Aphrodite's children, or as awesome as a forbidden child of Zeus. You could literally have any girl in this camp. So, why me?"

     Feyre grew silent when Luke leaned forward and caressed her cheek with his hand again, his thumb brushing softly against her tanned skin before he lifted his gaze to meet her eyes. "Are you being serious?" Luke spoke up, his hot breath fanning against her face. "It's you. It's always been you."

     Feyre felt her heart skip a beat when she heard those words leave Luke's lips. "You mean that?" She asked, needing the extra reassurance.

     The tip of Luke's nose grazed lightly against Feyre's, a gentle smile forming across his face. "Have I ever lied to you, Sunshine?" He retorted.

     Feyre nodded her head in response, a quiet hum leaving her throat before a smile of her own grew across her face. "Well, maybe you should reassure me one last time, Castellan," She whispered to him.

     Luke tucked some of the girl's hair behind her ear, tilting his head slightly to the side. "I can do that for you," He offered. Feyre then reached up and threw her arms over the boy's shoulders.

     "Then kiss me, you idiot," She joked. And it was all Luke needed to hear before his lips were on Feyre's again, kissing her softly, slowly, and their eyes closed as they basked in the warmth and comfort of each other's touch once more. One of Luke's hands remained on the girl's hip while the other traveled to the length of her side, and settled on the side of her neck, deepening the kiss. For a singular heartbeat, there was only the warmth of their mouths, the pressing of his body against her own, and the tenderness of their everlasting kiss. It was passionate, yet gentle, hungry, and yet, they savoured every second of each other, wishing it would never have to end.

And in that moment, Feyre Blanchard and Luke Castellan were infinite.

━━━━━━━━

authors note.
I logged onto Wattpad and knew I wanted to make history and that's exactly what I did. At least I hope alskkakskaksk

BUT YES LEYRE ARE OFFICIALLY CANON!!! I'm honestly really proud of how this came out and I really hope you guys love this as much as I did. I thought I would give you guys a taste of happiness before it all goes downhill in a few chapters time. Also can you guys believe that there's 5 more chapters until the end of act one 😭

Until then I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'll update again soon!!