DAISY

I had seen burials, but only on the television. I remember mom and me watching a movie where the father was killed, and the children buried his body.

Today I wore a black dress and stood in a cemetery watching my mom's dead body getting buried in the ground.

I couldn't even cry because my tears had stopped; what I was left with was sorrow and fear of how I would survive without her.

I didn't have a speech; God knows I don't have anything to say.

My mother died alone, without any of her family beside her. I wonder how she felt, how it must suck. I screwed up, and I will live with that for the rest of my life.

After the burial, the funeral came and passed in a blur, with everyone telling me the pain will stop.

I doubt that.

My mom had been a massive part of my life. Is it easy to forget that?

In the evening, when I couldn't take any more pity from people I do not know, I left the governor's mansion for some air.

I stroll around the old mansion decked out for the holiday season. The Chandler's had finally moved in temporarily. It is a beautiful place; I could've been pleased with it if not for my situation.

"Daisy?" Someone called from behind me.

I turn to find my father, in a black suit, with hands in his pockets.

When I didn't move, he began moving towards me.

He stops before me and heaves a sigh, his eyes wandering around the quiet atmosphere.

"How are you?" He finally asked.

I haven't talked to him ever since the night Riley publicized the words I've written to her about my feelings towards him.

I know I messed up, but this is about mom, the woman I saw him loving. Of course, he had attended her burial. He assisted in lowering her coffin into the ground and stayed by her grave next to me until everyone had left and Kay was waiting for me in the car.

But I was mad at him. He didn't want to see her even when I told him about her stage. He could've been there for her, just like she had been for me when he wasn't there to play his role. Besides, it was all his fault. If only he didn't have to kill someone else and get locked away from us.

"You didn't care," I said to him.

Surprised, he asked: "What?"

"You didn't care about mom. Why?" I repeated.

He draws in a deep breath and looks away from me.

"Dad, please, just tell me why? Mom deserved better, and she never got it. We should've provided her, but we didn't." I tried to connect my eyes with his; maybe I could find the reason then.

"She does. She deserves even better than you can imagine, Daisy." He snapped.

"Then why?" I whispered confusedly.

"You wouldn't understand." He sounded exhausted.

But I needed to know.

"You have no idea what I've been through. I didn't know what you had done until two years later. I am no more a child now. I've had my own highs and lows." I angrily spat.

"Daisy..." He started, grabbing my hand, but I yanked off and interrupted. "I don't have a mother, and the last parent I have left is insincere." I run my fingers through my hair frustratedly.

"Hey, easy." He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a hug. Not letting go no matter how much I fight him.

"If your mother wanted you to know, she would've told you." He said in my hair, his hands caressing my back.

"But she is dead." I cried.

"And she wants you happy."

"I am not happy." I sobbed, shuddering in his arms. "I missed her so much."

"And that is okay." He promised. "We all do, but the most important thing is not to let it overpower you. Your mom wouldn't want that."

That day I returned back to Palo Alto with Kay and Kate.

When Vance stopped by Kate's, I contemplated following her because I wasn't ready to face the truth. I know the moment I step into center yorker, I will have to confront Riley, and I am not sure I was ready for that. But the look on Kay's face got my heartbeat to stop.

He was sitting across me, staring at me as I weighed my choices.

Through the past days, he had been there for me; he had made sure I was as satisfied as I could be in the mourning phase.

He had been a good friend.

So I swallowed hard and submitted to face reality rather than to cowardly hide from it.

"Thank you. I will see you." I said to Kate and stayed behind in the car.

When I tilted my head to where Kay was, he had a slight smile on his lips; I returned it too and dropped my gaze to my trembling fingers that had worsened these days.

We arrived at center yorker early evening; Kay intertwined our fingers and guided us to the private elevator.

The ride to the last floor was quiet; he held my hand tightly and flashed me a smile anytime I looked up to him.

My shaky suspires were audible. I was beginning to sweat excessively.

I wasn't ready to confront Riley; my automatic physiological choices shifted between fight or flight.

Fight.

So instead, I close the distance between Kay and me, grabbing his nape to lower his lips to mine for a deep kiss.

He kissed me back desperately, and for a moment, I forgot the door was about to slide open any second. I tug his shirt, exposing his rigid torso.

"Daisy?" He sounded suggestive, but I ignored him. I went for his pants, unbuckling his belt.

That's when he disconnected our lips and watched me with wary eyes with the same hitched breathing.

"I want you now." I practically pleaded.

I know I just buried my mom yesterday, but only him subsides my pain. I need more of him to fade everything away, even for a couple of minutes.

"You are hurting." He pointed out and stepped back, his face still holding that skeptical expression.

Instead of a reply, I began undressing.

Slipping out of the gown Mrs. Chandler had brought for me this morning at their home.

"Daisy..." Kay stammered, brushing back his hair.

Ignoring him, I pull down my panties and shoes and stand in front of him fully naked, with my chest rising and falling and goosebumps all over my skin from his intense scrutiny and the chills of the weather.

"Will you reject me, or will you take me?" I said to him.

His dark eyes full of desire came back to mine. He was abnormally panting.

"Screw it." He hissed and shoved the emergency bottom, trapping us in the small space when his mouth came for my nipples, and his hands cupped my ass cheeks.

***

After a whole hour of lying both naked on the floor, Kay suggests we get dressed and ascend to the penthouse.

"Can we just stay here forever?" I whine from his bare chest.

He lifted my head and brought our eyes to meet when he assured me: "It would be okay."

I swallowed and nodded and pushed up from him to get back into my outfit. Though my pantie fitted in my purse, I couldn't wear it back after having it on the floor that saw thousands of shoes.

And yes, I intend to take a shower.

When we were all appropriately dressed, Kay fixed the elevator-having me smiling to myself at the thought of how wild my first time was and my illogical location decision.

The moment the door swings open, some recognition seems to dawn in kay. He stopped; I had to turn around to face him.

"What is it?" I asked.

"There is someone I would like you to meet." He softly said, with an adorable smile on his face that says he's trying to lure me into agreeing.

"Kay?" I sternly called him.

"Come on?" He excitedly announced and laced our fingers, pulling me into the house, where I found a familiar young woman sitting on the couch.

I tried to remember where I knew her from, but it was hard.

"Hey, you're finally here." The woman said and stood up. She was formally dressed and sounded responsible.

Kay's arm came around my shoulder and nestled me beside him. I looked up at him suspiciously and waited for an explanation.

"Daisy, this is Reagan, my therapist." He introduced us, his hand stroking my arm.

Of course, the woman who was with him at west bay, that day that felt like years ago now.

"I am happy to finally meet you." The woman smiled at me.

"Me too." I nervously answered, biting my bottom lip.

"I think it's time you take that counseling your doctor had suggested," Kay said, a serious expression deepened in his features.

My breathing stopped for a moment when I looked over at him.

"I don't..." I began, but he cut me off, instantly kissing my forehead tenderly.

"I will be here all the time. I want you healthier. It would be best if you had this, Daisy. Is getting worse. I can see it. Let Reagan help you; should anything happen to you, I wouldn't forgive myself." He sadly muttered.

"Okay!" I nodded and smiled to lighten his expression.

Besides, he was right; it was getting worst. The signs are becoming more prominent and hard to curb.

"Okay?" He nodded back at me.

"I will do it," I told him and watched a charming smile spread across his face.

The sound from the elevator got me promptly disconnecting from Kay and taking a step away. Assuming it was Riley but instead, Hopper came in with a briefcase.

"Welcome back, Mr. Chandler." He said and held out the briefcase at me. My brows wrinkled from confusion. Things like this belong to Kay; he was the son of successful business people. It must be his. "This came in yesterday. It was shipped from Hong Kong." Hopper clarified.

And instantly, I collect the brown briefcase, staring down at it.

The last time I spoke with mom, she said she had shipped some things.

"Isn't that the briefcase your father left with every morning for work eight years ago?" Kay thoughtfully asked.

Then the realization hits me. He is right; it's my father's briefcase.

"Mom got it shipped here before..." I choked, and Kay pulled me into a hug. I wrap my free hand around him and take in calm breaths.

"And Miss Hunter left early this morning."

Hopper's utterance got me to pull out of Kay's hold.

"What?" Kay and I gaped in unison.

"Did she say where she was going?" Kay asked.

"No, Mr. Chandler."

No!

I felt fresh tears; I didn't care. I sat on the sofa and tried to breathe, but there was not enough air.

I messed up.