DAISY

February 24, 2017

Dear Daisy,

I hope you're doing well. If you are, I know you'll be asking the same about me. You should know that I am doing great too. It feels like fairies have graced me with never-ending happiness.

The last time I wrote to you, I was struggling with my family issues, but honestly, I'm not anymore. For the first time in years, I've found my happiness.

I've met a boy named KC. You should see him—he's everything I've ever dreamed of in a man. He's tough and has a touch of tattoos, very handsome in the face and structure. By that I mean, a body like a twenty-one-year-old. He doesn't smile much, but when he does, it could melt a thousand hearts.

We've only met twice, but I'm sure I'm in love with him. Daisy, I think I've found my soulmate.

Yours sincerely, 
Riley Hunter

***

I walk into the next class with Professor Graham. He heads to the front of the auditorium while I scurry to the fourth row, where I find some vacant seats and dig out my notes.

But the day can't get any worse when Madison Thaddeus, the talk of the town, slides next to me. She looks perfect as always, even though she's a bit disorganized.

Isn't she a first-row student?

Then it hits me—Caden sent her to me. He keeps turning back, looking for me. I fidget in my seat, eager for the day to end. What could he possibly want? The desperate need in his eyes scares me.

That's not like Caden. Something must be wrong. And now he has his sister caging me in class. Last time he said he wasn't hitting on me, but now he's pleading to know who I am.

It's confusing.

I can't concentrate on anything the professor is discussing. I try to act normal by pulling on my sleeves with my fingers, a habit I've had since childhood.

"Hey." Unexpectedly, Madison speaks directly to me. No, please. I turn to the girl smiling at me. I try to think of something to say, but the words stick in my throat. After a rough morning like mine, it's hard to respond and hard to process when a doctor thinks you're going through chronic stress and refers you to a counseling center. Oh, and cheating on the only friend you have left.

"I'm Madison Thaddeus." Yes, I know who you are, I want to say, but instead, I hesitate and eventually mumble, "Oh..."

Her forehead wrinkles at my simple response. What does she expect? Us to be BFFs?

I've already proven how bitchy I can be. I cheated behind the only friend I have. She gave me home and happiness, yet she was sleeping somewhere last night while I wanted her boyfriend to myself.

It's so sad. I'm so disgusted with myself.

Remember when I said today couldn't get any worse? It did because Professor Graham decided to point me out among all the students in the class. "You, from behind, can you tell us how prejudiced you are?"

I feel my nerves rack, continuing to pull on my sleeve for cover. But I managed to answer honestly. "I barely preconceive subjects."

"I believe she's biased against predetermined people if you ask me." It takes me a second to realize it came from the first-row boy with determined eyes.

What's his deal?

"That's not what I said," I can't say out loud. I feel pathetic, but you can't blame me—no one wants to be the target of Caden Thaddeus.

"Only no one asked you, Caden. Not everyone preconceives beforehand. That's why Professor Graham talked about personal perspective. Some just see the wrong side of everything because they think with their—eyes."

My eyes don't leave his sister even after she's done throwing words at her stepbrother. I bet living with Caden isn't as great as everyone thinks. His stepsister really looks miffed.

When the lecture proceeds, I whisper a thank you to Madison and turn my focus to the projector images.

As soon as the lecture ends, I hurriedly transfer my belongings to my backpack. It's a little late, though, as I hear the person I'm trying to escape asking, "Hey Daisy, can I have a word with you?" I glance at him and clear off the desk before standing.

"You've got to be kidding me." My eyes shift to his sister, who seems shocked or surprised.

She shouldn't be. It's not like her brother's charm works on me. Besides, I don't want people telling Kay about this moment.

So I let him know. "I have somewhere to be. I'm sorry."

I practically scurry out of the building and make my way to Vance, who's been waiting for me by the lot.

I feel a lot of eyes on me, and that's when I notice Caden is following behind me.

Following behind me?

What the hell? What's his problem with me? Does he not take no for an answer?

"Daisy, can we talk, please?" he pleads, taking two steps at a time.

"I need to go." I lie and jump into the open car, letting out a relieved breath at the overwhelming event.

Okay, it's not that I'm scared, but Caden Thaddeus following me doesn't seem right. We all know he's full of ego and arrogance.

So why would he tail a sad, pathetic girl who can barely defend herself in class?

There must be a reason. There has to be. He can't possibly want to ruin me too.

The rest of the day, I spend in my room doing homework and talking with Mom on the phone. Riley comes back afterward, apologizing for leaving me alone with the party and all. She has no idea I'm going through shit. She has no idea I should be the one apologizing.

For that, I can barely look her in the eyes. I fake a headache and beg for some alone time.

In fact, the week goes by the same; I isolate myself and avoid Caden and his sister at school, and Riley and Kaiser the rest of the time.

I take my prescribed dose accordingly and decide not to tell Mom about my medical test results. I can't have her worrying about me when it's just stress—something I can handle myself. All I need is quiet and rest. That's why I keep it to myself and somehow feel grateful when Kay doesn't mention it to Riley.

***

"Come on, the weather is cool. We should ride around," Riley insists on a Saturday afternoon.

"I have homework to finish."

"You've been doing homework the whole week. Get up and have a little fun." She pulls me by the arm, but I keep resisting.

"Riley..."

"Ah, ah! Don't 'Riley' me," she interrupts, snapping her fingers in my face. "Remember we promised to have the best college experience, not hide in our rooms until the end of the school year."

"I'm not hiding," I whine, holding onto the headboard while she drags me out of bed by my ankles.

"Then get up and change. You look like a juvenile in that PJ." She makes a disgusted face and heads for my closet.

"You're actually right," I giggle.

"I'm always right," She brags and throws a pair of jeans and a baggy shirt in my face. "Now go shower. Let's live before we realize we're fifty."

"What? No way."

"Yes, I know. We're not getting old." Riley cheers and tugs me up, pushing me into the bathroom.

By the time I get downstairs, I'm neatly dressed with my hair in a high ponytail.

"Daisy's using your bike until we get her one from the store," Riley tells Kay after kissing his head.

"Okay," he simply answers from the barstool.

"Cool, Daisy, let's get going," she urges and heads for the foyer.

Something pins me in my position as I watch Kay stand up and swagger over to me with a smirk on his lips that I wish I could kiss but then I know I'd regret. He leans closer when his girlfriend is out of sight, his scent invading every thought of defense I had. "Let the sensation of the bike seat between your legs take over, just like you let me do with my tongue the other day, little devil."

I have nothing to guard myself with. He's right—I am a devil, a selfish devil.

"Daisy, you coming?" Riley calls from the elevator.

I snap out of my trance and swallow. There's amusement in his eyes that I don't understand.

How can I endure him? For how long until I break?

By the lobby, we collect the bicycles from Vance and head out into the calm environment, relishing the graceful weather against our bodies.

"That café has better coffee than Starbucks."

"You're sure? Because no coffee is better than Starbucks," I scoff.

"Darling, you could drink a hundred cups after tasting one."

"Okay, that's addictive."

"I know, right?" She rides ahead of me, increasing her speed.

"Riley?" I call out.

"It's not like I drink a hundred cups of coffee, but I wish I could sometimes."

"Okay?"

Something must be wrong, of course. I'm backstabbing her, and I don't know how to start making it right.

"It's what I do when I can't tolerate KC," she admits after slowing down.

"What happened?" I ask softly.

"Something always happens with KC. I just don't know how to control it."

"Uhm..." I mumble uneasily.

I know what people would think of me, but I never meant to hurt Riley in any way. I wish I could just move out of Center Yorker; it would make things easier for everyone.

"He's so weird these days. His words are harsh and angry. Throwing parties? That's something KC would never do. And without telling me even make it worse. It's just weird. He's changing, like I'm not enough. It's scary, Daisy." She wobbles, and sniffles.

I can see the pure pain in her tear-filled eyes. What did I do?

"Hey?"

"I'm scared. He's all I have. I can't lose him. I love him, I need him. I have nowhere to go. My parents' new spouses wouldn't take me in or anything." Tears begin rushing down her unmade-up face. It tears me up inside, knowing I'm the cause of everything.

"It's going to be alright. Every relationship has its ups and downs. You've been together for a long time; everything will be okay." I lie, but I convinced myself I will make sure of it, for her sake.

I need to leave.

"You think?" she asks, a bit hopeful.

"He loves you, Riley. He wouldn't hurt you intentionally." That's the truth. He made sure I know it, reminding me with every encounter.

"You think?" she asks again.

"I know." She buys the smile I force after assuring her.

"Come on, I love you. I need your hug. You and KC are all I have. What would I do without you?" She pulls me into her arms.

Not get hurt. That's what she will be without us.
I feel so ashamed of myself to be called a friend.

What a crumpling world.