DAISY

"They brought me Cobb salad and fajitas, and I told the nurse I've been here for eight years. I know what Asian food looks like, and I guarantee those aren't among it."

"Mom, they just want to provide you with anything that would satisfy you. You need anything you have an appetite for."

"No, they're treating me differently. I might have cancer, but I'm not dumb. I can sense it," she opposed.

It's seven in the morning, and I haven't slept a blink. The whole night, I've been dusting through different emotions. Wanting something I know I will never get. Pained from the harsh words Kay planted in me. Angered and ashamed of myself for what I've done to Riley. I'm evil. Kay is right.

"Mom..." I croaked.

"Darling, I know you meant well, but I need to go home. I can look after myself."

What can't she understand? I'm on the verge of losing everything. I can't think of her on the list. She has to be okay.

"Mom, please. Just give me a little time, and we can find someone to look after you." Panic, I retorted.

"That's the problem, baby. I should be taking care of you, not the other way around. You're far away from me. I should always be there for you."

I wish I could just hug her and tell her how much I want that.

"You're here for me, Mom. It's more than I'm asking for. Please let them take care of you, for me... I'm pleading." I wipe the tears that escape my eyes.

"Daisy, this place is hell. The equipment freaks me out. It's hard." Her voice was so small, so despaired.

"I know, Mom." I bite my cheeks to stop the sob in my throat. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, my baby."

"Do you think it's working? Is there any sign?" I ask hopefully.

"I think I'm feeling great. I'm all ears; tell me how everything's going at your place. I'm sure you're having the best college experience." She sounds excited, but I know it's a cover-up.

"Yes," I mutter.

"I'm very happy you get to live your dream. I'm so proud of you," she says.

"Mom?"

"Yes, my love."

"How did you survive after Dad and everything was taken away from us?" I can't stop myself from asking. I need her courage. I wish I were as strong as her.

"I had faith and you. I knew it would ease up. Nothing lasts forever, neither pain nor happiness, my dear."

"Except the wiser men's lies, Mom. It never eases up. It keeps crashing." Just look at you, lying in bed receiving chemotreatment after everything.

"Aww, my dear, don't say that." She sighs softly.

"I miss you, Mom." Every day.

"I miss you so much. It's going to be alright, my dear. I promise." I wish.

"I hope so," I mumble.

I hang up after the lengthy conversation we have had since six in the morning.

I try to have faith, but I don't. I have nothing. It's just an empty me lying on a bed provided by someone who trusted me, yet I betrayed her.

And what scares me is I crave more of Kay. I obey his instructions. I let him disregard me to his liking. I succumb to his charm, something that shouldn't have happened. I let it. All because I couldn't control how I felt around him. What's wrong with me?

Sniffing, I sense the door swinging open, and instinctively I pull the comforter over my head, wiping my tears under the cover. I can't let him see me this way. I doubt I can even look at him anymore.

"You should be getting ready. You have class in the next hour."

"I'm staying in today," I tell him.

"Why is that?" His voice, just like always, is husky and commanding. Makes me hate myself even more.

"I do not feel well," I mumble.

"I'm sure orgasms don't give you illness. Now get out of those blankets and get ready for school."

Annoyed, I lower the cover until I can see him. He's already neatly dressed in black formal pants and a white button-down shirt. "I have a headache, KC. And so you know, I can make my own decisions."

"The last time you made your own decision, it ended up destroying lives. Now get up and go shower, or do I have to help you with that also?"

Okay, that's enough to get me up. I'm already blushing when I head to the bathroom.

I shower and dress up in a knee-length button skirt and a long-sleeve shirt before leaving my so-called room and descending to the floor that smells wonderful, getting my stomach grumbling in an instant.

I halt at the kitchen, stunned by the view in front of me. The house looks organized as if tens of wild people hadn't partied here hours ago.

The countertop is occupied with dishes of what I assume is breakfast.
"What's this?" I scoff.

His eyes lazily scan my outfit before he grabs some plates and places them on the table.
"Eat," he commands.

"No, I'm not hungry." I fold my arms defiantly and avoid his gaze.

"Daisy, you do not want to provoke me this morning." Anger is evident in his tone. It is confusing. I should be mad not him.

"You think you can call me a whore and the next morning make me some pancakes and stuffed omelet for breakfast. This is so unbelievable. I'm sorry, I do not have an appetite for food." I remonstrate, reminiscing about his hurtful words.

Unexpectedly, his palm slams the table, causing me to jump at the outburst. "You will fucking eat the goddamn food," he hollers.

Like a scolded child, I relented and went to the table, struggling with my heartbeat and trembling body.

Yes, I know I am pathetic at this point but I am what this world made of me. I can't help myself. Fucking weak.

"Where's Riley?" I ask after several failed attempts at swallowing my breakfast. Not that the food isn't delicious, I just don't have it in me to eat anything at the moment, at least not after what happened last night. I am sick to my stomach.

"She's not back," he answers from the seat across the table, without taking his eyes off his phone.

"Oh," I mumble.

"Let's go," Kay instructs ten minutes later, assuming I had taken a fair portion of the breakfast. I didn't, I had only scattered the eggs into a deceptive image of missing parts.