Connor swallowed as he stared over the edge of the building. He took half a step forward and closed his eyes.

Wasn't this how he wanted to go -- out on his own terms? Hank had taught him something similar not too long ago.

"Why are you intent on killing yourself, Lieutenant?"

A dry look, and a fleeting gaze. "Sometimes there are things you just don't forget." He shifted away from him. "Besides. I go by my terms and mine only, capische?"

"Okay, Lieutenant."

Connor hated heights, but he had already made up his mind that he was going out facing one of the things he feared.

The wind whipped his hair and jacket, and he fumbled back a step.

Deviancy had opened new doors to problems Connor hadn't thought of; identity, emotions, belonging. It was hard to juggle. Hank tried to help any way he could, but it was... different. He didn't quite understand the things Connor wanted him to.

He felt afraid, apprehensive, and alone; he also felt relief, almost. In a bittersweet way. Hank was the only one who seemed to truly care, and he hated doing this to him, but he felt he needed to.

Hank would get over it, wouldn't he?

Connor took a deep, uneccessary breath, and went to step off.

He hesitated for a second when he heard the door to the roof bang open.

"Connor, get the f*ck away from the ledge!" Hank jogged over. "Are you insane? What the hell are you doing?" he barked.

Connor stared at him in silence. "Lieutenant... "

Hank grabbed his arm and pulled him away. Connor let him, already lost in his thoughts.

He had been so close.

He looked at Hank, who was yelling at him, red in the face.

Who had he been kidding? Hank lost someone already, and Connor had -- he had almost --

Connor slid to his knees, staring out towards the city once again, in a very different frame of mind. Guilt washed over him like a wave and all of a sudden he felt horribly sick.

"Connor?" Hank put a hand on his shoulder and Connor didn't react. Hank didn't like how pale he appeared. "Jesus, Connor, what the f*ck happened?"

"I... I don't like heights, Lieutenant."

"I'm talking about you about to jump off the godd*mn building," Hank spat. Connor stared off blankly, feeling his Thirium pump racing in his chest. He was hot and cold at the same time, and the world was slowly spinning around him.

"I... I don't... "

Connor sat back and Hank slowly kneeled beside him, blowing out a breath. He shot him a glance. Connor's eyes were glassy.

Hank rubbed a hand over his face. "Connor -- "

"I'm sorry." Connor's voice wavered so he swallowed and closed his eyes, looking pained. "I'm sorry."

Hank's eyes were soft as he studied him.

"I know." He looked to the city and exhaled. "You're okay, Connor."

"I'm okay," he assured, more so to himself than Hank. "I'm okay." His voice was soft; still afraid, in shock.

Hank stood after a moment, dread threatening to pull him under. "C'mon," he said. He sounded exhausted. He looked down at Connor and offered him a hand.

"Lieutenant... " Connor closed his eyes briefly. "I'd wanted to die, and... I don't want to, but -- Hank -- "

Hank studied him as he spoke. Before he could stop himself, Connor was rambling, the words spilling out faster than he could speak, all of his worries and fears scattered for all to see.

Hank was silent until he noticed Connor's eyes welling with tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry -- "

"Connor," Hank hushed as he stood over him. Connor forced himself to take a deep breath, tried to calm his internal system, and closed his eyes. "It's okay. Just, please." He swallowed and glanced away. "Please."

Connor stood after a minute, looking at the city one last time. He hastily wiped his eyes, then wrapped his arms tightly around Hank.

Hank hesitated, but threw his arms around him just as tight, holding the back of his head with one hand. "Okay, you're okay, Connor. Jesus..."

Connor nodded against his shoulder, eyes closed as he felt Hank pull him tighter against him. Finally, in what he imagined as a choked voice, Connor said, "Thank you, Hank. I... I don't know what I'd do without you."

Hank pulled back to look at him, and he gave a grim smile. "Me too, Connor." He stepped away and cast his eyes to the city one last time. "Me too."

Connor followed his eyes before looking down again, thoughts swirling around his head.

"C'mon," Hank said in a gruff voice, trying to cover up his emotion. "Let's get you back to the house, okay?"

"Okay, Lieutenant."

Hank led him back quietly, and Connor felt a new emotion: love. His head down, Connor managed a weak smile as the door to the rooftop closed behind him forever.