•Connor's POV•

Connor sat in Hank's car, pondering Tasha's early leave from work that morning.

He regretted not going after her — he wasn't sure why, but the more he thought on it the worse he felt.

I'm an Android.

I am not deviant.

Connor had to repeat this in his head, he had to focus on the mission and nothing else.

Connor got out of the car after a few moments, walking over to the Lieutenant who was drinking out of a better bottle.

Not surprising really.

"Those two Androids — they seemed to be in love." Hank said thoughtfully as he took another long swig. "Maybe the deviants aren't the bad guys."

"They can simulate human emotions, but they're machines. And machines don't feel anything." Connor replied factually, trying to ignore the small feeling in his chest.

"And what are you Connor?" Hank asked as he took another swig of his drink, looking at Connor curiously. "You look human, you sound human, but what are you really?"

"I'm whatever you want me to be, Lieutenant." Connor replied, little to no hesitation to his answer. "Your partner, your buddy to drink with, or just a machine designed to accomplish a task."

Hank took a step towards him, "You could've shot those two girls, but you didn't." He then shoved Connor back a pace. "Why didn't you shoot, Connor?"

"Hmm?! Some scruples enter your program?!"

Connor was hesitant to answer. Why hadn't he shot those androids? "No... I just decided not to shoot. That's all."

Then in one swift moment Hank pointed his pistol directly between Connor's eyes. "But are you afraid to die, Connor?"

"I would certainly find it regrettable to be... interrupted before I could finish this investigation."

"What will happen if I pull this trigger? Hm? Nothing? Oblivion? Android heaven?" Hank scoffed.

"Nothing." Connor answered immediately. "There would be nothing."

Connor had never thought about his own end, whether it be during his duty or otherwise, but in that moment, thinking of simply being nothing made Connor think more than he'd intended to on the subject.

But most of all, it made Connor focus on Tasha once again.

What would she do if she lost me?

Would she mourn?

Would she care if I was gone?

"You're telling me, that when you look at Tasha you don't feel anything?"

Connor was brought out of his thoughts for a moment, "As I said, Androids can simulate human emotions —"

"You can't simulate that kind of love, and buddy you're in deep." Hank grumbled,
"Whenever you're not focussed on the case, you're staring at her — hell, even when you're focussed on the case you still stare at her! It's fucking creepy."

Connor remained silent, knowing that any answer he had wouldn't work in his favour.

"Look," Hank put his gun away, "Tasha's lost everything. Ever since you came along she... I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. Don't ruin that for her." Hank turned away from him, taking out his beer bottle once more.

"Where are you going?"

"To get drunker, I need to think."

•••

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, but all I could see was him.

All I could see was Connor. It was as if he was consuming me entirely.

Is this what true love feels like?

When I was young I learnt love wasn't like in the movies... you can only trust yourself.

Then why am I so attached to him?

I shook my head as I stared at myself in the mirror, Gavin's cruel words rushing at me over and over again.

I let out a scream as I hit the mirror until it broke into hundreds of tiny shards, my hands bloody and my whole body shaking.

"What's the point?" I spoke aloud, staring at myself in a broken piece of the mirror. "In the end, what's it worth to be in love... with someone who can never love you back?"

•Connors POV•

When Connor walked into the precinct the next day, he noticed Hank looked worried, which was rare for the older man. He then noted that Tasha was not sitting at her desk. "Hank, have you seen Tasha?"

Hank shook his head, looking up at Connor.
"She hasn't shown up for her shift. I've tried calling her cell but it goes straight to voice mail."

Connor furrows his brows slightly, "That's unlike her."

"I'm well aware." Hank rubbed his face, "You know, you've kind of been acting like a prick to her."

"I... I don't—"

Hank sighed in frustration, "Don't lie, Connor. You've been ignoring her since last week — hell the only time I've seen you talk to her was yesterday!"

Connor looked down at his hands, "I... I'm focussed on the mission."

"Cut the crap, Connor." Hank narrowed his eyes, "Tasha is like family to me, and if you hurt her..."

"I don't want to hurt her!" Connor let out an exasperated sigh, "I just — I don't know what to do! She..." Connor looked up at Hank, "I don't understand any of this, Lieutenant..."

Hank sighed, turning to face him. "Look, Connor; I know that you're... you and that makes things more difficult but, for Tasha's sake — pushing her away isn't going to stop what you're feeling. You need to man up, and deal with it."

Connor cocked his head to the side slightly, "I... don't know what to do."

"Well, go find her." Hank replied, rolling his eyes. "She's not here, and I can only assume she's at home."
"I think... that is a good idea." Connor spoke slowly, "Thank you for your advice, Lieutenant."

"Yeah, yeah. Just tell Tash she's getting me donuts tomorrow."

When Connor arrived at Tasha's house, he immediately felt off. He didn't know what it was — but something wasn't right.

Connor knocked on her door, but when Tasha didn't answer he opened it, slowly walking through her house. All throughout it picture frames were broken, glass shattered everywhere — and he saw a trail of blood leading to her bedroom.

Connor's entire body went cold as he quickly ran to her room, finding Tasha unconscious on her bathroom floor, her wrists covered in her own blood.

Connor immediately called the paramedics while he grabbed a med kit to attempt to stop her wounds from bleeding.

"Connor?" Tasha breathed out quietly as he tightened the gauze, her eyes barely fluttering open.

"Tasha... why?" Connor held her in his arms, "Why did you do this to yourself?" Connor's voice was filled with fear, and his blinker turned red as he analyzed her wounds further.

23% chance of survival

"Tasha! Stay with me!" Connor yelled, shaking her gently when her eyes began to close again.

"M- I'm sorry, Connor. I... I'm just sick of being alone... my parents are gone... Hank's suicidal... I'm alone..."

"You are not alone, Tasha." Connor grabbed onto her face, forcing her to look up at him. "I'm here. I'm here and I'll never leave you, Tasha."

Tasha stared at him for a moment, before slowly smiling. She leaned up with the last ounce of strength she had left, pressing her lips against the corner of his. "Connor... I—"

In a single moment, Tasha's body went limp in his arms, and her eyes went from their usual bright green to dull and empty.

"Tasha?" Connor called to her, "Tasha?!" He became frantic, shaking her body. "No. Tasha! Wake up!" He was screaming now, shaking her body to no avail. "Please!Please don't leave me!" He hadn't noticed the sirens and the group of androids running into the room.

"Please... you have to save her!" Connor told them, trying to even out his voice to hide his fear.

The androids grabbed onto Tasha's limp body, taking her into the ambulance as gonna followed quickly behind. They hooked her up to every machine possible, trying to get her heart beating again.

Please wake up.
Come back to me.

•
A/N: OOOF. Angst AF. I'm actually feeling pretty insecure about my writing at the moment, so all of your suggestions and comments are really helping me continue this story. I just want you all to enjoy what I write. I love you all very much, thank you x