Tasha's POV

I took a small sip of the water Connor had gotten me, my body finally still after what felt like hours of convulsing. Neither of us had spoken a word to each other. I could feel Connor's emotions radiating off of him which were causing me more stress.

"What happened back there?"

I was silent for a moment as I looked up from my glass, my eyes looking at his chest — unable to find the courage to look into his eyes.

"I... I don't know. Gavin — kept pushing me and I — I snapped!"

"Why didn't you come get me? You know how much I don't like Gavin being with you — even before I was deviant."

"I — Connor, I just didn't want to be a burden."

Connor scoffed, "A burden?! Really?!"

In that moment I felt my heart drop.

"Connor — please, you're scaring me."

"It's because I already carry the burden of being the reason you died!" Connor snapped.

"But I—"

Never before had Connor been so upset with me — anger was an emotion Connor never conveyed towards me.

"I understand that you say it's not my fault, but no matter what you say it doesn't change that it never goes away. It always creeps back like an never ending alarm I can't seem to stop."

I felt anger swell in my chest, my defence mechanisms kicking in. "It's not like I asked you to burden yourself upon it, Connor."

"You don't have to even tell me! Before you became a hybrid I knew when you were scared, stressed — everything. The ability of knowing what you felt every moment was a blessing and a curse. But now —"

"I never asked you to keep watch over my emotions, Connor! I didn't ask for any of this! I never demanded you to babysit me. You're supposed to be my partner!"

"I may be your partner. What about Hank? He's trying too. He's practically your fath—"

"Don't you fucking dare." I growled, my voice low as I glared at him. "Don't bring him into this or my p-parents! You don't know what it's like to lose everything!"

"I lost you!" Connor yelled.

"I'm right here!"

"You died that day!"

My heart began to crumble as I listened to his words.

I'm dead to him.

That's what I am.

I'm nothing to him.

"You're right, Tasha. I don't know what it's like to lose parents — but I know damn well they wouldn't want you to go out like this. To be like this!"

"What? A walking - talking fucking lab rat?" I sneered, "Newsflash, darling — it's already fucking happened!" I scoffed, standing up as I began to pace. "You know, I thought you'd be happy."

"Happy? How could I be happy when I killed you? When I made you become... this."

He's ashamed of me.

After everything...

"You were supposed to have a normal life — a normal human life. Because of me you don't get that."

Tears were in my eyes as I stopped my pacing, turning to look at him. "I thought you'd be happy that we get to be together — forever, Connor. Both on the same life line... but I guess that line only goes one way."

Connor sighed, stepping towards me. "Tasha... you know that's not what I meant —"

"Do I though?" Tears began to fall down my face as I felt an emptiness crawl into me — gnawing at my heart like a knife. "If I'm so much of a burden towards you because of events that unravel due to my emotions — maybe I shouldn't have any."

In my mind I saw a way out. No more pain. No more anything.

"Tasha, no, that's —"

"I will turn them off! Right here. Right now."

Connor stepped towards me, but every advance he made I stepped further back. "Tasha, don't. You'll regret it."

"What?" I scoffed. "Like you regret bringing me back?"

"Tasha, no! That's not what I meant." Connor had tears falling down his face as he reached out for me. "Please — come back to me."

"No, you're right. I should've stayed dead." As the words left my mouth I felt my brain reach out, unconnecting wires slowly.

If I do this, there's no going back...

"Tasha—"

I saw it clear as day.

Stress Level: 100%

This is it.

I felt my entire body begin to shut down as Connor reached out for me, causing me to pull back, falling to my knees as tears ran down my face as I began to hyperventilate.

As I closed my eyes, I saw a red light blinking in the distance.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

TURN IT OFF!

The voice screamed in my head. Everything else faded as I stared at it.

No going back.

In an instant everything was gone.

No pain.

No anger.

No resentment.

Just... nothing.

•••

Connor stared at Tasha with wide eyes as he watched her stress levels go from 100% to zero, her heart rate became steady and her body was still — no longer shaking.

"Tasha?"

His voice was quiet as he called out to her. Her eyes were cast to the floor as he reached out for her, touching her shoulder with a featherlight hold.

"Tasha?"

Tasha looked up at him, a blank expression on her face. Her eyes were dark, the light that used to shine so bright had faded, her usual smiling lips in a firm straight line.

"It's gone." She smiled — a dead, empty smile that sent a chill down his spine, her voice empty and too void of any and all emotion.

"Everything is gone."

A/N: you wanted drama, and I always accomplish my mission ;) RKDADDY
AHHHH ok so thank you so much to Nikki for helping me write! And thank you all so much for helping and reading. Please leave your suggestions so I can write them into the story :)