C H A P T E R
S E V E N

Both his parents sat there stuck and lost for words as they listened to their son spill the secrets of things he went through as a child. "Why didn't you ever say anything? You know your mother and I would've handled it son." His father mumbled as he rubbed Ahmad's back.

"I-I was I was scared, embarrassed .. and I honestly didn't know how to tell you guys,"

His mama wiped her tears, "Scared of what baby? We always told you guys no matter the situation you could come to us and we'd be there by your side through it all.."

"I didn't think y'all would believe me, Aunt Shondra was loved deeply in our family, everyone respected her and cherished her, she was looked upon as the angel in the family and I knew if I spoke up about it, that it would've cause division, people would've took her side not believing me and others would've took mine not believing her, it was gonna be a big ole' mess so I handled it on my own and just fought back as much as I could." He mumbled.

"When did the molesting start? Tell us from the very beginning .. so we can handle this when we address the situation .. our anual family reuion is coming up in a few weeks and we need to know everything ..because she keeps all the kids in the family and who knows if she still does this.." His mama spoke up, thinking about all the times other family members dropped their kids off with her.

"Remember the day daddy lost his job at the construction company and you guys both went out to look for jobs together.."

"Yeah and we called Shondra to watch you guys because Amir was sick and y'all couldn't come with us." His mama continued remembering it all.

"Yeah, well that day Amir was sleep for a nap and it was just me up playing with the toys y'all had brought us and watching cartoons .. she was sitting on the couch reading then she suggested we play a game .. me being a kid was down for it but little did I know that that game involved us doing inappropriate stuff. Shit like the things that I saw them do on the late night shows HBO used to play that I used to stay up and watch even when I knew I was suppose to be sleep in bed.. but at the time I wasn't sure what was going on but my body reacted in ways I wasn't used too .. the older I got and the more thins I got exposed too about sex, I realised what had been going on, but by then it was little too late .. we stopped going to her so I wasn't going through it anymore..

"But I do remember the time when I realized what was going on, I felt sick to my stomach and always wondered like why would you want to do those type of things to a kid, and not just a kid but your own nephew. It never made sense to me, but even then I always knew after we always played that fucking game I never felt good about myself, it was like deep down I knew it wasn't right especially since she didn't want me to tell anybody about the game we played.."

"I was never excited to play the game but she was, soon as you and pops or Amir were out of sight .. it was game on."

"Did she ever touch Amir too?"

He shrugged, "I don't know if she did, but if so he never spoke on it, like I did."

"So Amir knows about this?"

He nodded, "He was the first person I told after it happened, he didn't believe me at first until one day he saw her in action .. but he made me not say anything, I forgot what his reason was to not do it but at the time it felt like the smart thing to do so we both just kept it a secret."

Reaching over his mother hugged him tightly letting the tears just pour out. "I'm so sorry you went through this alone for so many years, we should've known something was up by your actions so this is our fault. As parents its our job to protect you and we failed. We tried giving you guys a good life but baby I just can't believe all of this was going on and I had no clue."

"Yeah son, I really wish you would've spoke up sooner. Fuck what she was to the family .. she touched you and used your innocence of not knowing what was going on against you." His dad snapped standing up.

"Pops chill,"

"Fuck that! Do you see what this has done to you? For years we just assumed it was just who you are, that it was just stubborn teenage shit. What that bitch did has ruined you and we were too fucking dumb to see it.. but that's alright, don't even worry me and ya mama gon' get to the bottom of this, adult or not you still my son and she had no right doing that shit to you."

When his dad walked out, he bit his lip shaking his head. He knew once he told this secret it was going to start a lot of drama, and that was one of the reasons why he hid it so long. His family was all about love, and Shondra crossed the line.

"He just needs time to calm down .. this is a lot to take in." His mama mumbled wiping the tears off her face.

"It's more I need to tell you guys though.."

"It's more?"

He nodded, "Is it worse than what you just told us?" She asked.

Tensing up, he nodded hating he had to drop all these skeletons today. "Yeah.."

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed his hands giving them a squeeze making him look up at her. "I know this is hard for you and its hard for me to hear these things but.." Looking down she sniffled trying to get herself together. "B-ut know I'm here for you, and you don't have to go through this alone anymore okay? I'm right here and from now I don't want you to go through anything else without informing me okay? I am your mother, I will not judge you, shame you or nothing do you hear me?"

Nodding his head, he kissed her hands. "I hear you ma' and I'm sorry I kept it from you guys so long."

Taking a deep breath, she just shook her head. "Something as serious as this is never easy to tell so I don't fault you for that, and I know reliving these moments by telling them is hard as well .. but we're gonna help you get through this as a family, I don't want you to ever feel like you have to handle anything on your own as long as I am alive."

"Yes'mam,"

Closing her eyes, she prepared herself for whatever was about to come out his mouth. "Good, now okay I'm ready .. just put it on out there."

"Well she also sometimes use to let her friends touch me ..men and women.. it didn't happen often but it happened enough to make me question myself at times."

"Men and women?" She asked making sure she heard right.

"Yeah.."

Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip as she shook from being so angry, "What did you mean on the part of questioning yourself?"

"I questioned my sexuality because I reacted to that man's touch ..like I came, and it fucked me up mentally because I felt I wasn't suppose to react like that towards a man."

"How old were you when this happened?"

"Eight,"

"See you were exposed to sexual activity way before your time. Your body reacted because it was an unfamiliar feeling, it wasn't because you enjoyed it. It's just like when women are raped and they still have an orgasm, it wasn't because they enjoyed its a natural reaction for the body."

He nodded. "I know that but at the time I was lost, I know I don't like men, hell I don't even find niggas attractive .. but growing up without answers that always came to my mind, like why tha fuck did I react to that shit? The shit is fucking disgusting and for years I beat myself up thinking I was a fag .. even though I knew I was never attracted to the same sex."

Shaking her head all she could think about was beating that bitch ass, Ashley was never the one to fight but her babies meant everything to her, the next time she sees her it was gon' be no talking just straight blows to the face.

Ashley was the type that was okay being fucked with but once you over stepped that line and fucked with her babies, you were done for.

"I can't.. I can't handle this right now."

Letting go of his hands she got up walking out. Walking into the kitchen she dropped down to her knees and let out a loud cry holding her chest. Aaron their dad came running down the stairs to check on his wife wondering what was going on.

Amira came out her room to see what was wrong but he told her to stay back since this was a family talk they needed to have later.

Walking into the kitchen he got down on his knees grabbing his wife. No words were said they just broke down and cried.

Ashley and Aaron tried everything they could to give their kids a good life, it was a few rough patches along the way but they always assumed their kids were good since they had everything they needed.

Never did it ever cross their mind that one of their kids were getting molested, it was a thought they never even would've thought of and that's what hurt them the most.

The changes of his actions were clear as day from when he was little up until now and they never looked into it.

As parents they didn't know how to feel .. for people who usually had all the answers and soultions to problems at this point they didn't.

One of their kids was mentally, sexually and emotionally damaged and they didn't know what direction to go in to fix it.

Ahmad sat in the living room closing his eyes shaking his head already knowing the end result of this wasn't gon' be pretty but he had to admit finally releasing it did feel like a big ass weight was lifted off his shoulders but he knew this was just the first hurdle he had to jump over in order to reach the finish line.

The next step was facing her, but he knew it wasn't going to be anytime soon since he still wasn't over it.

For years that secret was something he carried around with him everyday, no matter how many times he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The incident was always in his dreams when he slept at night. In that dream when he was naked and bruised up the part when the hands were touching all over his body was symbolizing him being touched as a child and how til this day he could still feel and see exactly where they violated him at.

Even when he thought he was over the situation his dreams always reminded him that he wasn't.

But he longer wanted to feel like this so he was taking charge of his life for once, he was going to work on showing his emotions and letting others in.

First person he needed to talk to was Marcus, he deserved to know and right now he was the only other person he trusted at the moment.

He was gonna use that determination that has always been inside him to get on that path of fixing himself and letting go of all those demons that haunted him at night so he could finally be content and happy with life.

He had so many blessings around him that he couldn't even focus on it due to past shit. Life on the outside was good, he was successful, handsome, smart and his business was doing great but on the inside held demons and secrets that held him back from seeing what was truly important.

He knew life wasn't perfect with rainbows and happy endings but he knew it was better than what he was giving for a life so that gave him that push.

He just hoped like hell nothing else happened to set him back from his goal.

-

i don't know how to feel about this chapter cause i feel like it sucks buuut .. what do you guys think tho?

I'm just ready for you guys to see Ahmad's growth .. ughh!

I start work tomorrow @ 11 so after i get off, I will immediately start working on the next update

but that's all folks..
- Denise 💕