Shaun in MM

C H A P T E R
T W E N T Y

Sitting in the cafeteria, Ahmad and Chris ate their food in silence as they let the other men chatter consume their ears. Today was boring since it was raining so they couldn't go outside today.

They mostly been in their cells, sleep and to pass time Ahmad just wrote letters to his family and drew tattoo designs.

"You good man?" Chris asked Ahmad who simply looked out of it today.

Ahmad needed his medicine, it had been almost two weeks since he last saw Derek and nothing changed. "I'm fine, I ain't get no sleep last night that's all."

"I heard, you be having nightmares or some shit?" He questioned.

"Something like that,"

Chris nodded, "Um you know its a chapel down here you can go too if you ever just need some guidance, we all know God is the best teacher and leader out here."

Ahmad looked over at him, thinking it over. "I ain't too much feelin' God at the moment."

"Why?"

"I don' got hurt too much for there to be a God .. Been molested, cheated on, lost my sister and now I'm in jail .. if there's a God why he sit back and let my eight year old ass get mistreated for so long? Why he take my sister away? Why he let all this bad shit happen if he suppose to be a God of love?"

Chris knew he had a point, but he also knew we weren't suppose to question the ways of God. "I get and understand what you're saying .. when I was younger I hated God for sending me a mother like my mama who was dick hungry, I had to take care of me and my sister, I had to start selling dope at the age of sixteen just to keep food on the table because she decided to be a hoe rather than take care of her own kids .. and that lead me here, got caught up in some shit had to ten years, took away my whole child hood all behind her."

"So trust me bro, I understand but I look at the blessings he also gives during the hardships. You were molested yeah that shit is hurtful to go through and hear but you also bounced back from it .. You told me you went to college, you own your own business, you got a family who loves and supports your every move no matter and a girl who rides for you hard and that only wants to see you do your best. Yeah you had it rough but you got a lot of blessings along the way too. All I got is my sister, my daddy a bitch and my mama and I just ain't speakin' been in her eleven years no letter, or a visit and she part of the reason I'm here in the first place." He scoffed.

"But even though I don't have that parent support, I got my sister and at this point that's really the only blessing I need, just some one on my team so trust me bro, don't give up on God cause he never gave up on you..He sees your struggles which is why he probably sent that girl in your life to help you see that all people outside of your circle aren't bad."

Ahmad listened intently to what he was saying and he had to admit Chris was right. He did have a lot of blessings in life, but he always focused on the bad but maybe that was because it had such an affect on him, but he couldn't evem remember the last time he even thanked the lord for something. He always cursed at God for what he didn't do, like most people. Resting his hand on his face, he sighed.

"I might go, I only know so much about God but be expecting blessings." He mumbled. "My parents weren't church people, we never went to church until after my boy Marcus moved in cause he went to church faithfully and out of respect of his parents we went .. I half listened most of the time but who knows maybe while I was rejecting God .. I actually needed him."

"I'm the same, never went to church just knew of God and that he blesses his children but I failed to realize in order to get those blessings you gotta do for him too. When I first got here I had many sleepless nights, and I was depressed as hell, thinking my life was over .. sixteen years old in a prison full of grown ass niggas, scariest shit ever but luckily one dude I used to run the streets with was sorta big in here and he let it be known I was cool, so I remained safe .. but that still didn't stop my depression so one day I took my ass right there and just prayed and just had talks with him .. you'll feel better trust me."

Taking a sip of the milk they gave them Ahmad chuckled. "Look atchu acting like a Jehovah Witness."

Chris laughed waving him off, "I'm just saying, after hearing your story and then what happened that lead you here .. I feel the only person who can truly help you is God..he has all the answers. God is the best drug to get addicted too." Pulling out this mini bible out his pocket, he slid it over to him. "Keep this and read scriptures Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 34:18, and Psalm 147:3."

Picking up the bible, Ahmad looked up at him. "What do they say?"

Taking the book back, he flipped a few pages before landing on the first one.

29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Flipping to the next one, he pushed the book closer for Ahmad to read it.

34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

"You want to read the next one?" Chris asked,

Ahmad nodded, liking what the scriptures were saying. "You want to try and find it? Look for chapter 147 verse three."

Ahmad took the book and began flipping pages, after like a minute or two passed he finally landed on it.

147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

"How can he heal me?"

"He gives you faith, he gives you the strength you need to keep going. He assures us that better days are coming, you just have to believe in him and he will make a way for you."

Ahmad nodded, "When are we allowed to go to the chapel?"

"Whenever except bed time, and shower time just gotta let them know thats where you going. It's a preacher in there as well if you have questions."

"You sure this will help?"

Nodding his head, Chris bit into his apple. "I been in here eleven years, how else you think I'm able to walk around this mug with a positive attitude?"

"True, I can keep this right?" He asked holding up the bible.

"Yeah of course, I have more plus I felt you needed it."

"I appreciate it, um I been meaning to bring this up .. um I saw those release papers earlier .. you excited to be leaving in a few days?"

Holding his finger up to his lips, he shushed him. "You gotta be quiet about that shit, hating ass niggas hear I'm getting out in a few they gon' purposely fuck with me to get me in trouble to make my sentence longer." He warned. "So trust me when and if you get those forms of your release date don't say shit, these niggas grimmey as fuck .. I've seen them do it with my own eyes."

"Damn, my fault."

"You good, you still learning but yeah, I wrote my sister letting her know about me getting released .. I'm so tired of being locked away from the real world and I already know when I get out, I'm about to have a culture shock .. last I seen the outside world was when I was sixteen, I'm twenty-seven now .. eleven years I've been locked up and I'm finally getting that freedom."

"Damn, yeah shit has changed .. technology is like out of this world now." Ahmad told him.

"Like what?"

"You got Facebook that's pretty much an updated Myspace in my opinion. Got Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr .. those are just social media sites though. The phones are hella crazy, you been in here eleven years so the phone that was jumping when you was out was the Razor or Blackberry and let me just say .. these phones now ten times better, I don't even know why we liked them damn things back then." He laughed.

Chris nodded, "I heard something like the iPhone, that's the phone everybody be talking about in here.. I think one of the guards has one, that hoe is nice."

"Yeah I got a seven plus, its huge and that camera like a Kodak camera."

"Might have to get me one when I get out, but bro when you get out and I'm saying when cause I know you getting off, we gotta link up .. you a cool dude forreal."

"I own a tattoo shop, if you can't find me .. type in Killa Ink on google."

"Will do fasho,"

When Ahmad went to speak a big nigga came walking over catching  both guys attention as if he was some body guard. "You Ahmad?" The guy asked.

Ahmad nodded, grabbing his fork just in case he had to fight a nigga. Chris did the same down with him if something was to pop off.

"Chill fam, it ain't even like that. OG Slick wanna holla at you," The guy said as he pointed in the direction where an older guy sat surrounded by younger niggas.

"About?"

Smacking his lips, the guy shrugged. "Just come and find out."

Ahmad looked at Chris who simply shrugged. "Far as I know Slick cool," Chris told em.

Slick was an old head that was serving life in prison and he liked to mentor the younger guys, alot of people had a lot of respect for him and looked to him as a father figure during their time there.

Getting up slowly, he followed behind the dude to the table. When Slick noticed him coming he motioned for the others to leave. Getting up they all spreaded out to different tables. "Have a seat young blood."

Taking a seat directly infront of him, Slick smiled at him. "What's your story?"

Frowning, Ahmad looked around before looking at him again. "What do you mean?"

Chuckling, he pulled at the goatee he had. "What lead to you being up in here?"

"I don't really wanna discuss it,"

"I'm sure its nowhere near as bad as mine, I killed my wife and kids in a fire .. it wasn't on purpose or intentional but it happened and I got charged with four murder chargers and life in prison..so again what's your story? We all got one."

Damn, Ahmad thought. "I killed my Aunt," He mumbled playing with his fingers.

"And why was that?"

Looking up Ahmad just stared at him,  "She molested me when I was kid and did a lot of fucked up shit to me that really messed me up mentally and I was getting over it finally, seeing therapists and taking meds and shit then I saw her again at my mama and daddy anniversary cook-out, and she started taunting me, acted as if what she did was a complete joke .. I spent many nights wanting to kill myself so the shit wasn't funny to me and I snapped, I blacked out and killed her .. I ain't try too but one of our family members called the cops and I was arrested the same day still waiting to go on trial as we speak."

"My little sister was kidnapped, raped and almost beaten to death .. for years she battled with that mentally and it hurt to see her go through the things she did .. it got so hard for her that she ended up killing herself, but see .. you were stronger, you fought through the hard times and kept pushing even if you felt weak , so brother I have to give it to you that you are a warrior .. and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"I try, I got a lot to live for especially now .. Got a girl who been riding with me for a good minute plus her son don' snuck his little ass into my heart, two brothers I love more than anything, and of course my parents ..sometimes I just be wanting to just grab my gun and empty the clip but its always something stopping me."

"That ain't nothing but God fam, God tests his strongest warriors .. he'll never do something you can't handle .. you heard the saying things happen for a reason, that's how I look at life .. I killed my wife and kids and ended up here but since I been here I been mentoring young men and when they get out they write and tell me all the good things they don' accomplished all because of me .. I feel I'm here to guide my young brothers back onto the right path even though my path is fucked up..I'd rather see other folks do good before myself, I've always been that way too."

Ahmad nodded, listening to what he was saying. He always heard that saying but he ain't really like it, he didn't want to think he got molested for a reason, he didn't see a reason behind that at all. "I'm like that .. I don't like telling my issues but I'll sit down and listen to other peoples .. I'll give advice but don't want advice for myself but I've came a long way since then .. and now that I finally look back at my old self to now, I'm actually proud of myself."

Slick nodded, "If you ever just need to talk .. I'm here, but hopefully you get off this ain't no place for young intelligent brothers such as yourself."

The rest of lunch they both talked until they were dismissed back to their bunks. When Chris and Ahmad got to their cell, they both had mail on their beds.

Ahmad quickly grabbed it to see it was letters from his people including Cali. She kept her word by staying in touch and answering all his collect calls, he sometimes even spoke to Marquette and that would make his whole day better by talking to his little man.

He didn't know how long he was gon' be in here or how long it was gon' take for the trial to start but he was tryna prepare himself for the best or worst news.

Deciding to read his letters later, he tucked them under his pillow.

-

Cali, Alisha and Anaya all sat at Chedders having small talk over drinks. Well mostly Alisha and Anaya talked, Cali mostly played with Marquette who sat in the high chair at the end of the table.

"Cali, can you please join the conversation?" Anaya asked.

Cali looked up and sighed. "I'm really not in the mood to talk at the moment sorry." She mumbled.

Both Alisha and Anaya shared a look feeling sorry for their friend. Since the day Ahmad was sent to jail, Cali went back to her old ways, working and taking care of Marquette. She didn't go out, she stayed in even on the weeks she didn't have Marquette.

"It's gonna be okay sis, it'll all work out."

"I know, but not knowing the outcome of all of this is what's killing me .. I talked to him last night and he's suffering in there .. they aren't giving him his meds .. I'm just really worried and on top of that my peri- I'm just really stressed out." She mumbled.

Rubbing her back, Anaya frowned. "We're here, you know Ahmad wouldn't want you suffering .. I have faith this will all work out in you guys favor."

Looking over at Marquette they watched as he colored, when Anaya noticed a picture she went to grab it but Marquette gree defensive pulling it back. "That's a picture of Ahmad he carries around, I guess he thinks he's back when he has it .. he sleeps with it too." Cali said smiling small.

"He loves him some Ahmad, just like his mama .. its crazy the affect he has on you, its cute though." Alisha blushed.

"Nah, the affect she has on him is what's cute .. Marcus be telling me stories about Ahmad back before he met her .. the stories don't even add up to the man I've been seeing .. you changed him for the better sis,"

Cali nodded, "Yeah that's my baby, with his aggy ass .. he used to work my nerves but damn I wish he was here to erk em than him be there."

"He's gonna get off sis, just leave it up to the man with all the answers."

"I hope so, but um I'm gonna head home .. I'm really not feeling well." Standing to her feet, she grabbed her purse and picked up Marquette.

Not giving them a chance to say bye or anything she was out the door. Looking at each other they sighed, "He really gotta get out of there .. cause seeing her like this is really making me sad." Alisha mumbled playing with her fork.

"Yeah, I'ma stop by there later after I cook dinner for Marcus .. he's taking it hard too, and its kinda weird not seeing Ahmad around cause he's always there .. and its like Marcus without Ahmad just don't even seem right."

"What's taking so fucking long anyways? It's been almost three months."

Anaya shrugged. "I honestly don't know but his parents got him a good lawyer so maybe their tryna build a good case .. but I just pray it all works out in the end."

"Same sis," Looking at the door when it chimed, Alisha looked down when she saw Shaun making his way inside with a woman on his arm.

Anaya looked at her sister weirdly, "Why you acting like that?"

"Shaun's here," She whispered.

Looking at her with a confused face, Alisha sighed. "We had sex like two months ago .. it wasn't intentional it just so happened, I was drunk getting over Melvin and he was just there for me and it happened .. and it made things really awkward between us."

"How?"

"Shaun is still in love with his ex, I think that's her over there .. after we had sex we both instantly regretted it, we literally started talking about our exes after it happened .. like it was weird."

Anaya shook her head, "Y'all both a mess,"

Alisha rolled her eyes, "I pushed myself onto him and he was under the influence as well but I blame myself cause right before I did that he was drunk talking about his ex and how he really wanted her back .. and I wanted that, I wanted a guy to think of me the way Shaun thought of his ex and I reacted in the worst way possible."

"We all make mistakes, its okay. Does he not hit you up anymore?"

"He does, he'll ask if I'm okay .. but I ignore him, I just don't be knowing what to say."

"Do you like Shaun?" Anaya asked.

Alisha shrugged. "Yes and no, he's not as bad as he comes off .. he's really a sweet heart and that's something I'm not used too but I do feel we'd better off as friends but I feel we fucked that up when we had sex."

"Not neccessarily, clearly if he still hits you up .. he must want something but you're the one acting funny."

Alisha nodded as she looked back at him to see him and the girl holding hands across the table smiling. When they both leaned in to kiss, she turned in her seat, she sighing.

She felt everybody was falling in love whether it was messy or not, they were still finding someone and she was still out there with all the other single fish.

Playing with her fingers, she was praying foe the day her prince charming to finally come with that white horse or maybe a white porshe either one would be nice.

When her phone vibrated, she pulled it out her purse to see a text from Damion.

Damion❤ to Alisha :
I woke up thinking about your crazy ass .. as crazy as that sounds, I was hoping if you'd like to go for drinks or catch a movie tonight but if not just let me know beautiful.
- Recieved 7:28 pm

White porshe is that you?, Alisha thought to herself as she texted back.

Back at Cali's she had put Marquette down for bed and was now laying in her bed listening to The Truth by India.Arie through her speakers as she lookes through the many pictures of her and Ahmad, while eating a bowl of grapes.

Laying on her side, she stared at the spot he'd usually be on cracking jokes or playing the game. Rubbing her hand down that side, she sighed to herself.

She felt like her bestfriend was gon', Ahmad sorta did become her bestfriend and man all in one. When she couldn't get a hold of Alisha or Anaya to vent too she called him up to vent too and he was always there.

Turning on her back, she closed her eyes knowing she had to be strong for him. Grabbing the last letter he sent, she held it in her hands as she read it over like she did every night.

My sweet beautiful Cali, I miss you more than words can express. I miss you being in my arms, I miss your scent and corny ass jokes, I miss your lips, your hips, your eyes, and most importantly your heart. Each night I go to bed thinking about you, dreaming about you just like before. You are the light to my dark life and I love you so much for that. I know we met for a reason, and I'm trying my best to keep my head up high and remain strong but I need you to be strong as well not just for me but for yourself and my little man. I'm sorry I let you down it wasn't in my intentions, I worked hard to get where I was and I backed peddled for a minute but I'ma get there one day. I'ma become the man you always saw in myself when I'm still too blind to see, I'ma do better trust me .. but I gotta go its bed time, but I love you baby girl, tell little man the same. Stay up and stay strong.

- yo daddy Ahmad

Kissing the note, she held it in her arms. "I love you too." She whispered softly.

As Love by Musiq Soulchild came on, she smiled thinking back to the day he sung that to her at a restuarant on one of the many dates who took her on.

"They playing my song bae, let me sing it to you." He cheesed standing up as he grabbed a spoon to sing into it as a mic.

"No-Ahmad, pleas- .. don't." She laughed as he got on one knee in front of her grabbing her hand. Looking around in embarrassment, she just shook her head as a few people watched wondering what he was about to do.

"Lovee." He started as he kissed the back of her hand, "So many things I've got to tell you. But I'm afraid I don't know how. Cause there's a possibility. You'll look at me differently. Loveee. Ever since the first moment I spoke your name. From then on I knew that by you being in my life. Things were destined to change cause......"

"Loveee." He got louder, causing a few others to look and smile. "So many people use your name in vain. Loveee, Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray. Loveee, through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt. Loveee, for better or worse I still will choose you first..Oooh Oohh."

Laughing, she rocked as he sung out loud in front of everybody. This was one of her favorite songs and he made her love it ten times more by doing this.

"Many days I've longed for you, wanting youuu. Hoping for the chance to get to know youuu. Longing for your kiss, For your kiss, for your touch, for your essence. Many nights I've cried from the things you dooo. Felt like I could die from the thought of losing youuu. I know that you're real. With no doubts and no fears and no questions.."

Getting all into it as if it was a concert, he had the facial expressions and everything down to the T even though he sounded horrible everybody thought the moment was cute. As the song continued he did the adlibs, as he held onto her hands hoping she knew the words from the song was exactly how he felt.

The memory was short lived when her doorbell rung, getting up from her bed she slipped on her house shoes walking down the stairs.

When the person rung the doorbell rung again, she shouted. "I'm coming," as she started unlocking the door.

When she opened the door she stood there in shock, not believing her eyes. "Chris? Are you really here right now?" She asked as her eyes filled with tears.

Dropping his bag she engulfed her into a big hug. "I'm finally home baby girl," He mumbled into her neck as she hugged him for dear life rocking back and forth.

From all the bad that was going on, this really did lighten her mood, her brother was home and he was here to stay she couldn't go without seeing him that long ever again.

-

what's up? ☺

Excuse any mistakes
Thanks for the love and support!!
- Denise 💕