Prologue

Death is inevitable. Every passing day leads us closer towards death. Everyone will die, naturally or savagely. No exceptions.
Death closes the door of opportunities in life but it is said to open a new one in heaven. But, how about to those who were left behind?

Death is the least thing on Earth that they want. They hate it. They hate being left behind. Being alone because of death is too much to handle. Death is an enemy that randomly visits you then leaves you shattered and broken.

Life is really full of surprises but I didn't expect it to surprise me a lot. Kanina ay iniisip ko na sana nasa isang set lang ako na parang sa isang pelikula. Where Dad's death was all scripted. That the blood splattered on my clothes and on the floor were just fake. But then reality struck me and shouted right in my face na lahat ng ito ay totoo. Dad is really lying there. Lifeless.

It wasn't long when I asked Mnemosyne and Red about their feeling of being a reaper. Funny how I condemn the reapers for following orders to kill and now I found myself standing in this huge hall, covered with blood, legs shaking, eyes swollen and heart burning with rage. There are a few big people in front of me. The Mafia Boss and his sons, the reapers and others. And all are looking at me intently.

Then my mind wandered to Dad. Mula sa masayang sandali na kasama ko siya. Then to the snapshots of him, lying dead. I winced and tried to clear my mind. Ilang beses ko ng pinigilan ang sarili ko na gawin iyon but I couldn't stop myself from remembering those.

The little conversations.....

The gun that contains the bullets that hit Dad....

The blood.....

My tears.....

My begging....

Dad's last words.....

Tross Delano's evil laugh.....

And the sound of the gun.....

Kahit anong pilit kong iwaksi iyon sa isip ko ay hindi ko magawa...

Suddenly, I found myself gasping for air. I cannot breath well. After a few minutes ay muli kong ibinaling ang atensyon sa mga taong nasa paligid ko. I know they pity me. Only Mom seems to understand how I'm feeling. She cried after receiving the news of Dad's death but the others kept their straight face. They neither look interested nor uninterested.

"I am sorry for your loss Amber but for now, I cannot consider your request given your current state. Talk to me when you're fine", wika ng boses na puno ng awtoridad. His voice used to inject fear on me before but now, it sounds like a falling water. Refreshing. This man really intimidates me the first time I met him in London.

"I don't think I'll be fine."

Can anyone tell me how to be fine after what I've been through? Am I supposed to eat ice cream and indulge myself to a whole monster pizza and then I'll be fine? Why can't they friggin' understand that I will never be fine unless I can take my hands to kill Tross Delano?! Ilang beses ko ng sinabi iyon sa kanila but they're not listening and we keep going into circles. Walang patutunguhan ang pag-uusap na ito dahil ayaw nila akong pakinggan!

Isa-isa na silang nagsitayuan doon at umalis, leaving me behind. Rionessi pacified Mom after she cried a lot. After all, Dad has been good to her despite the false identity he gave her. The reapers also made their exit. I wonder why they're all here pero wala naman nagsalita kahit isa sa kanila. It seems like they're here just to watch. And all that's left now is Cooler. Gray has gone with the police for the investigation kanina matapos akong ihatid dito while Ryu is being treated in his room para sa kanyang tama sa binti.

"C-cooler. Please help me."

He sighed and puffed his cheek. "I don't think you mean what you're saying. Galit ka lang Amber."

Kanina ko pa naririnig iyon mula sa kanila. Kesyo galit lang ako. And I am not in my proper state. Argh! Can't they understand how I feel right this moment?

"Just lend me a gun if you can't make me a reaper then", I screamed at him. I am so desperate to lay my hands on that man! Guess they have no idea how it fucking hurts to see someone you love die in front of you, to be killed right in front of you. What's worse is, I couldn't do anything to prevent him from dying, I couldn't save him. I just watched him die right in front of my eyes!

"Amber listen—"

"Cooler, do I need to explain everything from the start again?", I said impatiently. Kanina pa ako nagbibigay sa kanila ng rason kung bakit ko hinihingi ang gusto ko but they just keep on ignoring my request.

"Amber, you don't know our world", he said seriously. One thing about Cooler Vander? When he's serious, he is really serious. Hindi siya ang Cooler na tuwang-tuwa sa magic. He think maturely regarding serious matters.

"I can adapt!"

"You won't like it here. This is not a world for a princess like you", he said in a firm voice. "We're beast and our world is the dangerous woods. A princess like you shouldn't be in this place."

"I am not a princess! The king is g-gone", my voice cracked but I prevented myself from crying. Yes I am — was a princess. I was Daddy's princess but I'm no longer a princess now since the king is gone.

"Wag kang magpadalos-dalos—"

"Fine! Then don't!" I cut him off and made my way out in front of him. Ayoko ng makipagtalo pa. I'm too weak and depressed to fight with him now. Mom already told me not to leave the Vander Mansion and I have no intention of doing so. I won't leave unless they let me become a reaper or lend me a gun.

Hindi naman nagtangka si Cooler na sundan ako. I feel dead after what happened. Pakiramdam ko ay namanhid ang buong katawan ko. If someone would hit me hard now, baka hindi ko maramdaman iyon dahil mas mangingibabaw ang sakit sa kalooban ko. Hindi na din ata ako maiiyak dahil naubos na ang mga luha ko kakaiyak kanina.

And my senses are telling me that crying won't do anything. Hindi mabubuhay si Dad dahil sa pag-iyak ko so I need to do something that would justify his death but unfortunately, those people here think that I've gone crazy. They think that I'm just angry and irrational at this moment. But I am not. I am angry but I am firm about this decision. I embraced the pain brought by Dad's death and used it as a fuel to continue my journey. And I decided to walk towards the path of being a reaper. I want justice and that's the only justice I can see. Dad's death will be justified as soon as I can kill Tross Delano. It will be justified as soon as I can crush their organization.

I found myself in front of a door na ilang beses ko ng napasukan. I guess he can help me with what I want. The devil inside is the right guy who will surely help me pull the trigger. I knocked twice at binuksan ko ang pinto.

Ryu faced me and turned his back from the computer. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo nito nang makita ako but he didn't say a word. I know that he pities me. He pities my condition. He was shot a while ago but looking at him now, he seems very well. Bumaba ang paningin niya sa kabuoan ko. I am still in my uniform, splattered with blood and a messy hair. Saglit lamang ang pagkaawang nakita ko sa mukha niya dahil napalitan iyon ng blangkong ekspresyon topped with a smirk.

"You can go straight and clean yourself", he said at tinuro ang banyo ng kanyang silid. I looked at him blankly, in my mind I'm already practicing how to tell him to give me his gun.
Nang hindi ako gumalaw ay narinig ko ang mahinang pagprotesta niya. He got up from his chair at paika-ikang tinungo ang kanyang closet. He pulled some shirt and towel and threw it on my face.

"A-ano to?", I asked. But of course I know exactly what these are.

"Really? You don't know those things?", he said with a really annoying smirk. I'm not in the mood to rebut him and I'm sure he felt it too. He annoyingly closed his eyes at lumapit sa akin. He held my shoulders at itinalikod ako, pushing me towards the bathroom. Dahan-dahan at paika-ika ang lakad niya dahil sa nakabendang binti.

"Clean yourself or else I will do it", wika niya. If it would be other time, I would have yelled at him and tell him how pervert he is. But it is different. I just died today and dead people aren't supposed to talk back.

I followed his instructions and cleaned myself inside. I washed the dried blood on my skin at hinubad ang puting uniform ko. I wore his shirt above my skirt at lumabas ng banyo. He's still busy in front of his computer at lumingon siya sa akin nang lumabas ako.

"W-what are you doing?", I asked.

"Trying to trace Trojan", he answered. "But I'm having a hard time. Ikaw, what are you doing here?"

"I wanna ask you a favor."

Tumuwid siya ng upo at inayos ang binti na may benda. His shot must have hurt a lot. Dumoble ang kunot sa noo nito. "A favor?"

I nodded. "Lend me your gun."

His mouth suddenly dropped. Bakit ba ganoon ang mga reaksyon nila? Basing on their reaksyon, it's like they heard something really surprising. Is it really that surprising? Do they all think I am crazy for asking so?

"That's a news." He said after recovering from what I said. Ang kanyang nagulat na reaksyon ay napalitan ulit ng smirk. I guess that smirk is part of his whole being. Like he couldn't pass a day without smirking.

"Hmm", I said while nodding. "Will you?"

"Unless you give me a reason", he said at nakipagsukatan ng tingin sa akin.

"What do you think I will do with a gun? Manaksak?" I rolled him my eyes. This computer genius is silly at times.

"Try harder to be funny", he snorted. Sumandal siya sa upuan at inilagay ang mga kamay sa likod ng kanyang ulo.

"I'm not. I am not capable of joking at this moment", wika ko sa kanya. Yup, my Dad was just killed and joking is the last thing I would do for now.

"Didn't I tell you not to hold the gun if you can't pull the trigger? Now take it literally. You are not capable of pulling a gun's trigger because you are not that kind of person."

"I can do it. I can learn to hold a gun. It's just a matter of holding anyway", I told him. Yes, if Ryu would give me a gun, I will make sure that I'll pull the trigger once and kill my target immediately. "And I cam immediately pull a trigger."

"Tsk". He shook his head in disbelief. "You really don't know what you are saying. Didn't anyone tell you not to make decisions when you are angry?"

Now I am starting to hate everyone in this house. Hindi nila maintindihan ang gusto kong mangyari. Or maybe they don't care about me. Right. Maybe that's it. Why would they help a daughter of an enemy?

"I get it. Ayaw niyo akong tulungan dahil anak ako ng Daddy ko, right? He's an enemy after all", wika ko kay Ryu. The anger in my heart rose again after realizing it. Bakit ngayon ko lamang iyon naisip? I'm such a fool. Of course they will never help an enemy. Never.

Ryu stiffened as I felt his mad presence. The same presence I felt the first time we met on a masquerade party before. "That's what you think, huh? I get your point Amber. I get it. You want to take revenge immediately, right? But don't you think your way is lousy?"

Lousy? How dare him!

"Susugod-sugod ka but you're not prepared. Why? Do you think your opponent would stay still while you prepare to shoot him?", he paused at tumawa ng mapakla. "Stupid. You're even afraid of guns."

"Not anymore!", I shouted right on his face. Why do I feel like they're all looking down on me now?!

"Really? Then let's prove it", he said and raised from his seat. He reached for his gun that he keeps under his pillow and started shooting around the room. Una niyang pinaputukan ay ang malaking salamin. Then the glass windows. The big marble jars. Then the glass door towards the terrace. Hindi ko inaasahang gagawin niya iyon and I found myself shouting at every shot, kasabay ng putok ay tunog ng mga nababasag na bagay. Nasa tabi na rin ako ni Ryu, clinging on his side trying to protect myself from the bullets. I closed my eyes as I felt the chaos around me, keeping myself safe on Ryu's side.

When he stopped shooting, dahan-dahan kong binuka ang mga mata ko at bumitaw mula sa pagkakakapit sa kanya. I found him smirking at me.

"Now tell me you're not afraid", he said. I was stunned for a while as I searched for any word to reply to what he said. Just then the door opened at iniluwa niyon si Mnemosyne.

Her gaze was on me who's only an inch away from Ryu but still clinging on the hem of his shirt. Tumaas din ang isang kilay nito nang makitang T-shirt ni Ryu ang suot ko. She threw a death glare at us before she spoke.

"WHAT.THE.HELL.IS.GOING.ON.IN.HERE?"

Oh, I guess I just made a reaper angry.

#

—ShinichiLaaaabs.