Chapter 59: Fire Pit

A negative thought can burn all the positive thoughts ngunit hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili ko sa pag-iisip na maaaring may manganib na naman. I have cursed Brain in my mind with all the possible curses one could ever think but it didn't make me feel relieved. Knowing how they work, alam kong hindi ito magdadalawang isip na wakasan ang buhay ng kung sino mang nais nila.

Halos madurog na ang cellphone ko dahil sa higpit ng pagkakahawak ko dito. It's like I'm thinking that I am crushing the organization with my palm. They are too evil that it made me wish they burn in the darkest pits of hell. Red must have noticed my mood when he glanced at me mula sa salamin.

"May problema ba Amber?", he asked. Mnemosyne turned her gaze to me at gaya ni Red ay napuno ng kyuryosidad ang mukha nito.

Problema? How do you call a situation wherein you received a goddamn coded text and someone's life is on the line with the code? Oh, he had noticed my uneasiness, am I that obvious?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, ngunit naramdaman ko na lang ang pagdaloy ng mainit na likido mula sa mga mata ko. Maybe because I know that they are assassins and I find them the perfect ones to share a story about deaths.

"Please drive fast Red. I might lose some people in my life." I tried to suppress my tears but I can't. Wala ring ni isa man sa kanila ang lumapit upang aluin ako. And maybe that's how reapers are trained. They never let themselves be affected to emotions dahil magiging hadlang iyon sa mga misyon nila. I wonder if there were even moments like this in their life.

"Bakit ka ganyan Amber?", Mnemosyne asked. Napakunot ang noo ko habang nakatingin sa kanya. I wiped away my tears at nagtatakang nagtanong.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?" I don't really get her question. Ano ba ang ibig niyang sabihin?

She let out a big sigh. "Why are you so worried to the people around you? Aren't you afraid of death yourself? Who knows while you're in the process of protecting them, you will find out that you're dead yourself."

Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa. Hindi nga ba ako takot na baka ako ang mawalan ng buhay? I carefully assessed myself if I am or not.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not afraid of my death. I am afraid not to live the life I want", sagot ko. It stunned them for a while at naisip ko kung bakit nagawa nitong itanong iyon.

"It's ironic that such question came from a reaper. Kayo ba, hindi ba kayo natatakot na mamatay? You protect the mafia. You kill people. Who knows when you got yourself killed", wika ko sa kanila.

Bahagya silang natahimik dahil doon but Red was able to give me an answer. "We're reapers. We're born to kill and protect."

Born to kill and protect? Geez, that's the most pathetic reason for living that I have ever heard.

"That's because you let your life be defined by the word reaper. How about your personal opinion? Hindi niyo ba naisip iyon? Don't you see how unlucky you are to be a reaper—"

Red cut me off. "Being a reaper is an honor for us. Nasa harap na tayo ng Bridle. Maybe you should get off." His voice is serious. It seems like being a reaper is really a once in a lifetime opportunity for them. Marahil ay ayaw nilang pag-usapan iyon. Kung ganoon man ang tingin nila sa pagiging assassin, it's their choice.

"I'm sorry", nakayuko kong wika bago bumaba at nagpasalamat. When their car left, I immediately run towards the backdoor at dahan-dahang pumasok doon. Nang makapasok ako ay may tinawagan akong numero. It only took a while bago iyon sinagot.

"Amber", Gray said from the other line. If Goodbyes are not applicable to me, it's Hello for Gray.

"Gray, where are you?", tanong ko sa kanya. I know it's too much to ask for help again para sa ikalawang code na natanggap ko but if I will do it myself, posibleng matagalan pa iyon. Maingay ang kabilang linya kaya hula ko ay kasama pa rin nito si Khael.

"Nasa cafeteria kami ni Khael kasama si Jeremy", he answered. May sinasabi pa siya pero agad ko ng pinatay ang tawag at tinakbo ang cafeteria. Pagdating ko don ay nakapwesto nga silang tatlo sa harap. They were munching over a big barbeque pizza. If it would be other time, I would have liked to sit and join them in digging that delicious thing there.

But today is different. I received a text from Brain and who knows it could be another danger. Natatakot ako na baka isunod nito sina Jeremy at Math. O di kaya ay si Therese.

Lumapit ako sa kanila at sinubukang hilahin palayo sina Gray at Khael upang makausap. Knowing Jeremy, I'm sure magfe-feeling detective na naman ito at makikisali. And I don't want that to happen. Baka mapahamak pa ito.

" Amber..." Hinila ko sila pero nagtatakang napatingin lang sila sa akin.

"Uy Bestie, ikaw ha! Dalawa na pala ang gusto mo!", Je said at sinundot ang tagiliran ko. He was grinning like crazy.

"Stop it Je", saway ko sa kanya. "You need to go back to the dorm. Kailangan kong makausap sina Khael at Gray.".

"Kausapin mo. Just pretend na wala ako dito", he said and took a big bite. Hinarap niya ang pagkain like we don't exist but I know his ears are listening to us. 

"Je..."

"Lalalalalalalalalalalala~" He started humming and stuffed his mouth with lots of food. I wanna roll my eyes. I know I cannot force him to leave. I sighed bago inilapag sa harap nina Gray ang cellphone ko, showing the text message that I received. 

"Another code? Ano ba talaga ang gusto nila? And this time they identified that Brain is behind all of these", nakatangis ang bagang na wika ni Gray. He put back my phone on the table and gently pushed it towards Khael.

"Let's do it like what we did kanina", Khael said. Kinuha niya ang cellphone ko at binasa iyon.

"Ano ba iyan?", nagtatakang tanong ni Je. We all glared at him so he zipped his mouth at umayos ng upo. "Sabi ko nga na kunwari wala ako dito eh."

See? Not even a minute passed when he said we don't exist but now he's putting his butt in. I ignored him and mentally read the message again.

It says:

I'm amazed that you're able to crack the first one. How about these numbers placed here given the clue 3x9.

2x2(1)—1x2(3)—1x1(1)—1x2(2)—2x3(1)
1x3(3)—3x1(1)
2x2(2)—1x2(2)—3x3(2)—3x2(1)

Sinubukan naming i-apply ang super scrabble letter distribution but it didn't make sense. Parehas silang napaisip ng malalim kung paano namin iyon madedecipher.

"I think this one is different since there is a different clue given", Khael said. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa counter ng cafeteria. Nanghiram ito ng ballpen at papel bago muling bumalik sa mesa namin.

"It says 3x9. How about let's make a 3x9 grid?", Khael said at nagsimulang magsulat. He made a 3x9 grid of letters.

   1  2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
1 A B C D E F G H I
2 J K L M N O P Q R
3 S T U V W X Y Z -

He started finding the letters but the numbers in the parenthesis confused him. Napatigil ito sa ginagawa at tinitigan ang papel.

"Paano naman yung nasa loob ng parenthesis?", Gray asked. Two minds are better than one and good thing these two brilliant minds are here to help me with this. Gray sulked in his seat for a while and thought hard. Suddenly, his mood lightened up when he remembered something.

"How about three 3x3's? That makes it a 3x9 right?" He grabbed the pen and paper from Khael at nagsimulang magsulat.

    1  2 3     4  5  6    7  8  9
1  A  B C    D  E  F    G  H  I
2  J  K  L    M  N O    P  Q  R
3  S T  U    V  W X    Y Z -
     (1)           (2)         (3)

He wrote the letters at naghintay lamang kami sa kanya na iabot ang papel sa amin once he finished substituting the numbers with the right letters. While waiting, Jeremy asked Khael a favor.

"Khael, pakikuha mo naman ako ng ketchup oh, yung hindi maanghang, please?", he asked. Nakaupo kasi si Khael sa tabi niya at nasa kabilang gilid naman ni Khael  si Gray.

"Ikaw nga kumuha doon", Khael replied but Jeremy pouted.

"Please?"

"Kadiri ka. Wag kang magpa-pout! Fine! I'll go get some ketchup. Just don't pout at me next time dahil baka masapak kita." Tumayo na ito samantalang tuwang-tuwa naman si Jeremy.

He walked towards the counter kung nasaan ang ilang hilera ng ketchup while Gray handed me the decoded message in the paper. Nanginig ang mga kamay ko at bigla akong nanlamig nang mabasa iyon.

           KHAEL IS NEXT...

We both froze in the moment as we both mumbled SHIT! Paglingon ko sa lugar kung nasaan si Khael, I almost screamed my lungs out nang mapansing may tumabig sa bust sculpture ng cafeteria and it fell right on Khael!

"KHAEEEEEEEEELLLLL!"

My throat hurts but I am thankful I was still able to shout. Unfortunately, it just came into waste dahil tumama na ang bust sculpture kay Khael. My voice filled the area at maging si Gray ay dali-daling tumakbo patungo doon. I almost cannot believe that he passed out and is now lying on the floor with a bleeding head.

Maging ang mga naroon sa cafeteria ay nataranta sa nangyari. It was too fast! Before I knew it, I was already sitting on the floor as I tried to wake him up and his blood was on my hands. Naramdaman ko din ang mga luha sa mata ko. The sculpture is not that big ngunit mabigat iyon and it hit him hard on the head which caused him to have a wound right above his head and brow.

"Dalhin natin siya sa the infirmary", Gray suggested at nagpatulong sa mga lalaki na naroon upang buhatin si Khael. I don't know what to do. I was left standing there, dead worried habang dinala ng mga lalaki si Khael papunta sa infirmary. Isa-isa ng napapahamak ang mga taong malapit sa akin. Why do they have to do this?!

Pilit kong inalala kung sino ang nagtulak sa bust sculpture na nakapatong doon. It was right above where Khael was standing at sigurado akong sinadya iyon. I have to find that person and—

Wait

I felt the chills in me when I tried to remember what really happened. Ayoko mang paniwalaan but as I could recall, that is really what happened

Jeremy asked Khael to get a ketchup for him. Could it be that—

Oh no. I would like to believe that it wasn't true but I think that was too much of a coincidence! Mahirap mang paniwalaan iyon but I have to confirm it myself! Tumayo ako at kumaripas ng takbo papunta sa infirmary. Pagdating ko doon ay kalalapag lamang nila kay Khael while the resident doctor prepared to treat him.

Sinadya kong lumikha ng ingay sa pamamagitan ng pagdabog sa pinto. They all looked at me puzzled. My facial expression says that something is not right here because of that person.

"Hey Students, can you stay outside while I treat this one?", wika ng doktor. Lumabas naman ang mga tumulong sa pagbubuhat kanina while I harshly grabbed Jeremy by the arm at kinaladkad palabas ng infirmary.

"Bestie—"

"Just shut up for now! Tell me everything later kapag makalabas tayo!", my voice was clear and loud. Nagtatakang sumunod naman si Gray sa amin. He's wondering why I harshly grabbed Je.

Oh Gray, I think I just grabbed the one responsible for everything.

"Amber, what's this all about?", he asked. Napansin niya marahil ang kakaibang aura ko. I think my anger is at its maximum level. I brought him at the back of the infirmary. Nang makarating kami doon ay agad kong binitawan si Jeremy. "Now explain why you are doing this!"

"Explain what?!", naguguluhang tanong nito.

"Stop it Je! Please drop all the pretending—"

"Amber, anong ibig mong sabihin?", Gray asked. Maging ito ay naguguluhan din. By his looks, I know he's not good with what just happened to Khael. He may not cry but I know that he's dead worried for him. He is his best buddy after all.

"Can't you see it Gray? Do you think that was a coincidence when he asked Khael to go and get a fucking ketchup for him then this happened?" I don't mind my obscure language. I am so angry now and I can cuss and swear all the possible words that I could ever think.

"Bestie! Ano ba ang pinagsasabi mo?"

"Please lang Jeremy! Tama na! Drop all the kind act because we know that you are not! Aminin mo na, na ikaw ang may pakana ng lahat ng ito! You can just kill me if you want! Just stop hurting those people—"

His puzzled expression was replaced with a blank one. It's the kind of look that I seldom see from him.

"Really Amber, you think I was behind all of these?", seryosong wika niya. He dropped the "Bestie" endearment and he only does that when he's serious. And his tone? The last time I heard such tone was when we attended Athena's acquaintance party wherein he was held as hostage and he got a "bomb" strapped around him. Another was when we thought that he was the suspect for a murder.

"Please Jeremy, tama na", my voice cracked. Sa isip ko ay nababalintanaw ko ang mga pagkakataong kasama ko si Jeremy. All the happy moments, the jokes that he cracked and everything.

"Aray naman. Of all people ako pa talaga, Amber? Among the people around you, I am one of those willing to protect you no matter what. Hindi man ako kasingtalino nina Gray at Khael o kaya ay singtapang ni Zywon sa pagpasok sa kung ano mang gulo at hindi man ako gaya nina Ryu at Cooler na ginagamit ang koneksyon nila upang protektahan ka, but I want to protect you in the way I can. Let's face it. Ano nga ba ang espesyal na kakayahan ko? None. I am just the guy you know who gives you puns."

Puno ng hinanakit ang boses nito. His words crept in my heart but I didn't let myself to easily believe in him. I have learnt that it's the problem with me. I easily trust people and end up regretting why I trusted them.

"I don't believe you."

Kahit si Gray ay walang masabi. For sure, he's currently reviewing the situation.

"Alam kong hindi ka maniniwala but I will still tell you why I asked Khael to go and get a ketchup for me. The real reason is that I want to peek to what Gray is doing. Funny that all I want is to help decoding but end up being the suspect", wika niya at mapaklang tumawa. He took a step towards me but I took a step backward.

"Don't go near me."

Hindi siya nakinig at patuloy pa rin sa paglapit and that's when I screamed right in front of him. "SABI NG WAG KANG LUMAPIT SA AKIN! BAKA HINDI KO MAPIGILAN ANG SARILI KO!", I shouted. Right now, all I want to do is hit him but I don't want to.

"Amber...", wika ni Gray. I was crying all over at halos hindi na ako makahinga. He tried to console me and calm me down ngunit hindi ko magawang kumalma.

"Jeremy, leave for now", wika niya kay Jeremy. The latter stared at him for a while bago tumango.

"Please help me clear my name over this Gray. Please." Nang tumango si Gray sa kanya ay pilit na ngumiti ito at nagpasalamat. He stared at me for a while bago dahan-dahang tumalikod at umalis.

"What the hell are you doing Gray?! You just let a criminal go!", I shouted at him.

Inalis ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa akin but he held me again. "Pwede bang kumalma ka muna?", he said but telling angry people to calm down just make them angrier. And that's what I am feeling right now.

"How can you possibly tell me to calm down when I almost lost my friends? At bakit hinayaan mong umalis si Jeremy?! Khael was almost killed!"

It's like I'm pouring all my anger to Gray but who cares? I'm so furious right now and I really need someone I can pour out this extreme anger to.

"And you might lose another dahil diyan sa galit mo! Sigurado ka bang si Jeremy nga iyon? So you're saying that he is Brain?", he asked.

His first statement struck me hard. Yes, if I am wrong, I might lose Jeremy. But aren't those things enough to say that he is behind everything?

"Hindi ko alam Gray! HINDI KO ALAM!", I wailed, tears streaming down my face. Suddenly my body went limp. My legs buckled underneath me and I found myself sitting on the ground, weeping. "H-hindi ko alam."

Gray crouched down next to me, cupping my face. "Look at it this way Amber. The Genesis is a diabolical organization. Do you think a seventeen year old boy can handle that?"

He tried to yank me up again and was successful in doing so but my body felt so weak kaya sumandal ako sa pader. Si Jeremy nga ba si Brain or I just jumped into conclusions without looking on every angle?

"I really don't know Gray. Maybe... Maybe it's a keep-your-enemies-closer thing", hindi pa rin tumitigil ang mga luha ko. If I'm right that Jeremy is behind all of these, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

"Do not conclude early Amber. You might say goodbye to your friendship with him. Let's look on this carefully", he said and he wiped away my tears. "Let's go inside and wait for Alonzo to wake up."

When I forced a smile and slowly nodded, he held my hand and filled the spaces between my fingers with his bago ako iginaya pabalik sa infirmary. Nang mga sandaling iyon ay wala pa ring malay si Khael. He was not badly hurt, thank goodness. Ilang oras lamang ang lumipas ay nagising na ito.

Agad akong lumapit sa kanya to check how he feels. "Khael, ayos ka lang ba?" Maging si Gray ay lumapit din sa kama kung nasaan si Khael. He maintained his calm posture mula pa kanina. Marahil ay itinago lamang nito ang pag-aalala para sa kaibigan.

Khael's forehead crumpled habang palipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa ni Gray. His mouth was slightly opened na tila ba nagtataka kung bakit kami naroon.

"Khael?"

"Sino kayo?", he asked. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa tanong niyang iyon.  "Nasaan ako?", he asked again, still puzzled.

My mouth gaped open as I tried to calm myself. He was hit on the head and now he wakes up and we're strangers to him?! I looked at him with a worried expression but then suddenly Gray hit him again in the head. Malakas-lakas din ang sapak na iyon, causing him to make a face after cursing.

"What the hell?! Masakit yun Silvan! Kita mo na ngang may cast tong ulo ko", he said at gumanti ng sapak kay Gray.

Silvan?

Oh, great. He got me. Bigtime.

"Bulok na ang style mo. You've been doing that since we're seven. Konting untog mo lang, ganyan na ang pakulo mo", Gray said. Natawa naman si Khael dito while I spanked him many times.

"Aray! Aray, Special A! I am supposed to be injured here. Why are you two hitting me? Alagaan niyo ako!", he said with a pout. It was not a nice joke! Bahagya akong kinabahan doon.

"Wag ka ngang magbiro ng ganon. We're worried sick you know!", wika ko sa kanya. He smiled boyishly at bahagyang inayos ang nakatayong buhok.

"Oo na. Sorry. Sorry", he said and he looked around as if he's looking for someone. "Where's Jeremy?"

Gray warned me with a glance at inunahan akong sumagot. "Pinauwi na namin sa dorm. It's already seven in the evening."

I know that he would choose not to let Khael know about my suspicions with Jeremy. Khael sat straight at ibinaba ang paa sa kama. "I think I'll be going too. Oh, by the way what does the code mean?"

Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan at nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Gray. I am not sure if it is right to tell him that it was about him. The code pertains to him that is why he has this ugly wound right now.

"What? Bakit nagtitinginan lang kayong dalawa?", he asked.

I swallowed the big lump in my throat. "Khael the truth is—"

"It pertains to me right?", he asked. "I knew it. Nung tinulak pa lamang ang sculpture, I knew all along that I am the target. Wait, did you suspect Jeremy?"

There's no point in denying that since he already figured it out. Matalino si Khael  I know he was able to read the current situation.

"That's what I suspected", pag-amin ko. I know he also treats Jeremy as his friend, too and it's hard to accept. Jeremy's personality is too kind to devise such plan.

"I don't think it's him", wika nito. It made mine and Gray's attention to focus on him.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?", I asked.

"Simple as it is. Wala siyang kinalaman dito. Bago pa man namin siya paanyayahan ni Gray na kumain, I already noticed the guy who pushed the bust sculpture tailing me. At isa pa, if he planned it by asking me to go and get a ketchup, he can't be sure na doon ako kukuha. You see, there are ketchup on the tables. Sinadya kong doon magtungo to confront the guy ngunit nauna na niyang itulak ang sculpture."

"What?!"

"I hope you didn't jump into conclusions and confronted him about it", wika niya. Tumayo na siya at inayos ang nagusot na damit dahil sa paghiga.

"She just did", Gray said.

Yeah, I just did. Am I the worst? I was panicking dahil sa nangyari kay Khael, I didn't think right and— fine. My fault. Jeremy deserves an apology from me.

"Haaay, Special A", he said and tugged me up. Itinayo niya ako at hinawakan sa balikat. I thought he was going to say something but he didn't. Sa halip ay itinalikod niya lang ako at tinulak palabas. "I'm going home. May pasok pa tayo."

He was holding my shoulders hanggang sa marating namin ang opisina ng doktor. Khael thanked her for her services at nagpaalam na. I tried to convince him to stay at Gray's dorm over the night but he refused. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanila nang ihatid nila ako sa dorm.

                    ************

I went to school earlier than I usually do. I have this thought over for the night. What I did to Jeremy is unforgivable. I know he wouldn't forgive me even if I send him a whole box of pizza with a sticky note saying that I am very sorry about last night.

Unti-unti ng dumarating ang mga kaklase namin ngunit wala pa rin si Jeremy. Katunayan ay hindi ko alam kung paano sisimulan ang paghingi ng tawad sa kanya.

Waiting for him is like waiting for a board exam result, no one knows what is the result unless the results are posted. Hindi ko alam kung tatanggapin ba niya ang paghingi ko ng tawad o magagalit ba siya sa akin. Alam kong nasaktan siya dahil sa mga sinabi ko. Why did I do it by the way?

Dumating na si Math at Gray but there were still no signs of Jeremy. Math noticed my uneasiness and asked me if I am fine. I gave her a nod as an answer.

"Oh, there's Jeremy", she said at lumipat ang atensyon niya sa may pintuan. Math doesn't know anything that's why she's acting so cool samantalang hindi na ako halos makahinga. Why am I so nervous like this? Dali-dali kong binuksan ang bag ko at inilabas ang isang libro na hindi ko na pinag-abalahang tingnan kung anong libro iyon. Well this is me, engrossed in my studies.

Gray slowly leaned towards me and whispered in my ears. "Breath Amber and relax", he said with a grin.

"I'm fine", I answered. I know that he's teasing me and I hate it. Pakiramdam ko ay para akong bata na nakabasag ng mamahaling gamit sa bahay as Je approaches near us.

Gray tried to pull the book out of my hand ngunit agad ko iyong iniwas. That's when Jeremy arrived beside me. He tossed his bag on the desk and sat beside me. Lahat ng inihanda kong speech mula pa kagabi ay nawala lahat sa isip ko. The room began to fill up with people. I can feel their stares at me like they know what I did to Je or it's just me being paranoid. I simply kept my eyes on the book and read the same sentence for the fifth time.

My mind wandered to Jeremy and what happened between us last night. I accused him of being responsible for what happened to Andi and Khael. I felt ashamed of myself for doing so and tried to avoid thinking about it but my mind keeps on conjuring the images of last night.

"Anong ginagawa mo Amber?", tanong ng isang kaklase ko. The question caught my other classmate's attention and now all eyes are on me. They were like hyenas waiting for my reply.

"I–I'm reading."

Laughter filled the room. What the hell is wrong with them? Ano ba ang nakakatawa sa pagbabasa? I tried to ignore them as I felt Jeremy sit beside me. I looked at my book and really concentrated this time. I read the same sentence for the tenth time and ignored everyone.

"Reading what?", someone asked again.

Really? Kailan pa naging issue sa kanila ang pagbabasa ko? Hello people, in case you forgot, I am Amber the nerd. I live in the library and my hobby is reading.

"F-for the upcoming exams."

Laughter filled the room again after I answered. I was annoyed when they laughed at me kanina and now I'm more annoyed when Gray giggled on my side.

"What's wrong with you people?", I glared at him. He was trying to suppress his laughter but failing big time.

"Really, you're reading that book for the upcoming exams?"

Itinaas ko ang isang kilay sa kanya. "Yeah, what's wrong with it?"

This time, Gray was successful in pulling the book from my hand. He turned it upside down and my classmates chuckled like we're doing a comedy sitcom.

"How can you read an upside down book? And since when the teacher told us to study recipes for the exams?", Gray said and that's when I realized that I have wrongfully placed the book in my hand. Halos mamula ako dahil sa pagkapahiya and I almost exploded when I realized that I was holding a cookbook. It was the recent book that Therese bought dahil nais nitong matuto. Unfortunately, I have it shoved in my bag and caused this humiliation.

Damn.

And I was able to read a text upside down. Great. Just great.

I felt my cheeks reddened and in that moment I wish that the floor would open and swallow me whole. This time, I gathered all the remaining esteem that is left in my body. Hinarap ko si Jeremy and pulled him by the wrist.

"I need to talk to you", wika ko sa kanya at hindi na hinintay ang sagot niya. I pulled him palabas ng classroom at dinala siya sa kalapit na convenient shed.

I was battling with myself on how should I start this. After a few moments ay nagkaroon na ako ng lakas ng loob.

"Je, I'm really sorry about last night", panimula ko. I was looking down to my shoes while my hands keeps on pulling down my skirt. There's nothing wrong with its length but I keep on pulling it down.

"Why? What happened last night?", he asked at mas lalo akong kinabahan doon. I know he's mad at me that's why he pretends like nothing happened last night and it's killing me. Mas gusto ko pang isumbat niya sa mukha ko ang lahat kaysa sa ganito. It's killing me. It's slowly killing me. 

"Je..."

"Saying sorry doesn’t mean there isn’t guilt and forgiving doesn’t mean the pain is gone", he said. That's Jeremy. Sensible things come out from his mouth whenever he is flustered.

"I know it's my fault. I jumped into conclusions without even thinking", wika ko sa kanya. I wanna pinch myself for forgetting my prepared speech. Ngayon ay kung anu-ano na lamang ang lumalabas sa bibig ko.

"The damage has been done. I hope you know that behind every smile there is..." He paused and looks intently at me. He must have been really hurt because of my accusations. What did he say last night? Didn't he say he has his own way of protecting me?

"There is?"

He let out a big sigh. "Behind every smile there is..." Muli na naman niyang binitin ang sasabihin. Kung ibang pagkakataon pa ito ay marahil kanina ko pa ito nasapak. But the situation is different. I am here to ask for forgiveness for being an idiot last night.

"There is what?"

"There is cavity! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He started laughing like there's no tomorrow. What the hell?!

"Jeremy!"

Hindi pa siya tapos sa pagtawa. Oh, he's back. Why does he have to laugh so hard with his own joke?

"Nagtoothbrush ka ba Bestie? Bakit may tirang chocolate sa ngipin mo?", he asked and hold my chin. He shoved my upper lip towards my nose to see my teeth. Tinabig ko ang kamay niya at tinakpan ng kamay ko ang bibig ko.

Gosh! Why did it turn out to be like this? Dahil sa pagiging stress ko, I decided to have an early chocolate meal. The chocolate was the one given by Zywon yesterday at kahit pisa na iyon at hindi kaaya-aya sa paningin, it was very delicious.

But wait. Did he just call me BESTIE again? I heard it right, right? He said Bestie. And BESTIE is ME.

I forgot about the chocolate leftover on my teeth and smiled widely. I cannot believe that he forgive me immediately.

"You look silly", he said to me.

Who cares if I look so silly? I'm so happy that we're fine now. He becomes cheerful again and this time he's the one who pulled me back to the classroom.

"Clean your teeth now, classes are about to start", wika niya. "Uhm, Bestie alam mo ba kung bakit tumatawa si Gray kanina?"

"Hmmm. Because I am reading an upside down cookbook?", I asked.

Je shook his head. "Nope. Dahil yan sa tinga mo na tsokolate. Hahahahaha!"

What the hell?!

#

—ShinichiLaaaabs