EGO POV Yibo

After what happened between Zhan and me last night, I felt like I was freed. I could give free rein to my feelings. Even though I didn't confess my feelings to Zhan. It's still hard for me to do that. And after waking up this morning, I didn't know how to act towards Zhan.

I want to be with Zhan. But I still need time. Because a lot of things are still unclear to me. I still need to figure out how to solve my existing problems. Maybe I can find a way to combine the two. To be with Zhan and earn money to continue to support my parents.

So when I woke up, I wanted to tell Zhan that. But Zhan was no longer in the room. I went to see where he was and finally found him in the cabin with the bunnies. He was lying on the floor playing with two young little bunnies. When he noticed me, he asked me to sit with him.

Before I could say anything, Zhan said, "Because of what happened between us last night, I wanted to say something. It was really very nice and I enjoyed it a lot. I suppose by now you realize that I have feelings for you. And I also realize that you care about me, too. But I also know that you still need time. So give yourself time to think about what you want. I don't put any pressure on you. As you know, I have time. It's also okay for me if you don't want to repeat something like last night. And if you want to avoid me now, that's okay."

I just sat there for quite a while, watching Zhan play with these two little bunnies. I wanted to say something to his words. But there was a huge lump in my throat that made it impossible for me to say anything.

So I just sat there and waited until the feeling of tears coming as soon as I opened my mouth stopped and I could answer Zhan. My heart was so heavy because I love Zhan, even now, after so few days, so much that the thought of not knowing how to go on was totally killing me.

And finally after a few minutes, I also laid down on the floor and rested my head on Zhan's back. "I don't want to avoid you Zhan. I want to do something like last night, happily again. Preferably every day. And you're right, I do care about you. And you're also right about me needing more time. I really have a lot of things going through my head that I need to sort out first. But I hope that you can wait patiently until then. Because you are really important to me. And to be completely honest, I really hope we can pick up where we left off. I don't want things to get weird between us."

Zhan spun around and I was now lying with my head on his belly. He stroked my head and replied, "I'll wait Yibo. I know this is all complicated. And so take the time you need. And as for the other thing. Well, what do you say we agree on a Friendship Plus for now?"

"Friendship Plus? You mean we stay friends and have sex?"

"That's right. If you want, of course."

"Mmm, I agree."

"Then we'll keep it that way for now."

"Gladly Zhan." If this is currently the only way I can be with Zhan to give me time to find a solution for us, then I'm willing to try. Still, it didn't feel right. Because I have feelings for Zhan that I can hardly describe. I want to be with him more than anything. So, a Friendship Plus is more like a band-aid. But, it's better than nothing.

I crawled further up to Zhan and gave him a kiss. He smiled so sweetly again and wrapped his arms around me. We kissed each other for a few minutes and then played with his bunnies some more. 

At lunch time, we went to the dining room. I got a big steak and fries this time, while Zhan drank his blood. Somehow it doesn't bother me when he drinks blood while I eat normally. It's like it's perfectly normal for both of us. So I find it unnecessary that two of the servants sat down at the table again and ate with me.

After lunch, Zhan and I went to train. We were not really motivated. Therefore, we left the training and devoted ourselves to each other. We had sex in the training room and then just lay there, holding each other in our arms and talking about whatever came to mind.

At one point I asked Zhan, "Tell me Zhan, how is it with you guys with relationships? Are you allowed to be with humans at all?"

Zhan laid on top of me and replied, "Why not? Surely a human and a vampire, there are some things to consider. If a human bleeds, the vampire must be able to restrain himself. Vampires cannot get pregnant or father a child. Without adoption, the couple would remain childless. Humans also have only a certain lifespan. They are born and they die. Death in such a relationship is omnipresent. All it takes is an illness or an accident for a person to lose their life. Or they simply age and then die. Vampires, on the other hand, live a little longer. Moreover, once vampires settle on a partner, they remain faithful to that partner until the end of their lives. Most of them stay lonely when the partner dies. But there are many more people who allow themselves to be turned into a vampire during the course of their relationship."

"Is it that easy to do?"

"Well, it starts by telling the council that you have a relationship with a human. Usually that's not a problem. Only once in a while, when they have concerns, the person is checked. And if the relationship lasts and the person decides to be transformed, they tell the council. They ask the person if he or she really wants this and wants it of his or her own accord. And afterwards they are present at the transformation. The vampire bites the human and gives him or her to drink from his or her blood. The human begins to transform and becomes a vampire. The council welcomes the new member and then helps with the change."

"What if you and I became a couple? Would they accept me too?"

"Probably they would even be happy. After all, you are strong. You're an assassin and would be a valuable member. Besides, you have no problems with killing. Which to protect our kind, sometimes has to be done."

"Like last night?"

"Yes. Whereas the man last night was not a problem. But there are definitely other situations where it sometimes comes to a fight. That's where someone experienced like you would be valuable."

"I understand. And do vampires have to live so secluded from humans?"

"No. There are vampires who live undetected among humans. They even go about normal activities. Whereas, of course, most of them only work at night."

"So not all vampires are as wealthy as your family?"

"Mhhh, it's more like these vampires want to work. They wouldn't have to. But they want to. But they can't stay anywhere longer than 5 - 10 years. Because otherwise it would be noticeable that they don't age at all or hardly at all. In principle, though, they wouldn't have to work, because they get money from the council, and houses too."

"Ah okay. So your council is a support. They don't restrict you, in fact they encourage you."

"Exactly. They want us to be free to live and decide. My father prefers to live here because he doesn't like the people. But you already know that. Others who want to live among the people get help and support from the council. They find them apartments, work and provide them with blood. And if necessary, with money."

"I had rather thought that your council was creepy and mean."

"Haha, yeah I guess most of them think that. Of course they also act tough when they have to. But for the most part, they're very concerned with making sure we're all okay."

"And they want you to become a member of them eventually?"

"Yes. But as I said before, I don't want that. Sure they do a lot of good, but they also have absolute power. If someone made repeated mistakes, they don't warn him or anything. He's killed, and killed ice cold. And often the families of the killed are punished as well."

"Why is that?"

"Because they didn't prevent the vampire from making repeated mistakes. It was the same in the case of Wen Rouhan. My father was not his first victim. The circumstances of how all this happened didn't matter to the council. He repeatedly broke the rules, so he was killed. And besides him, his two sons too."

"He had sons?"

"Yes. And even though they were innocent and didn't even live with their father, they were killed. And a council that does those things, makes those decisions, I don't want to join."

"I can understand that, Zhan."

"Good, now let's keep kissing yes?"

"Definitely." I replied.

I'm beginning to realize how wrong I was about the lives of vampires. I thought they all lived like Zhan's family, secluded from everything and anything. But it's not like that. I never thought vampires lived among humans either. Who knows how many times I have met a vampire without knowing it?

It is good and interesting to talk with Zhan about these things. So I also learn more about him and his culture. This will certainly help me to decide how it should go on with Zhan and me. Because one thing is already clear to me at least now, I cannot and will not give up Zhan.

Of course, I am not yet ready to tell Zhan that. Because there are still things I need to think about. But it's good to know that there are definitely possibilities for us. Whereas I suppose if I wanted to take Zhan with me, his parents would be against it. And Zhan himself, well, he loves it here and likes living here. He probably wouldn't just come with me either.

But I can't just stay here either. Well, right now I should push those thoughts aside and focus on Zhan. I think we are ready for the next round. 

A/N: Decisions like Yibo has to make cannot always be made lightly and based only on one's feelings. There are many things that go through his mind. At least, he thinks there is. But could it be that the real problem is quite different than Yibo thinks? If so, what do you think the real problem might be? Here's a hint: Yibo is in love for the first time and together with someone (halfway) for the first time. He has deeper feelings for the first time.