Ragini's POV:

I sat watching the moon doing a peek-a-boo from the passing clouds who were still drizzling ...
It was a rare to see moon even while seeing the rains showering...I smiled sadly thinking how well is the nature syncing with my situation!!!

I didn't want to think much now!!!
He must probably be enjoying a lush meal with his 'perfect' Malini...I was done crying my heart out...now I had no more tears left within!!! My tear glands also probably went dry!!!

There is no point of all this Ragini!!! I had got a call from Shalini to only confirm whether I was doing ok and I had yelled at her to enjoy the double date. I had disconnected the call ... but I received her message which said ...

You have to learn to move on if he doesn't like you!!! This is a tender age...it could just be a passing emotion sweetheart...
Please don't screw up your exams...
It's your 12th...And it's important so you secure a seat in a good college to do your management degree.

She cares for me!!! I'm a fool!!!
I dialled her back...She picked the call after a few rings but didn't utter a word...My guilt was killing me...

'Akka(sister) I'm sorry' I said in a broken voice...I never call her Akka...but today she consoled me like an elder sister... I sobbed...and continued

'Iam sorry...I didn't mean to be a bitch...but you know na it's my first and it's not easy .. I probably know now that he doesn't like me...but its not easy for me na...I'm trying ..every single day...I'm trying hard but I can't...he being infront of me...I just can't...I'm sorry ...I am sorry'

I just didn't wait for her response and switched off my phone and threw my phone to the other corner of the bed. I wept my heart out. After some time I looked up to my exam timetable.

Just one more week and I have my 12th std exams. I grew more determined. I have to study...I don't care if I'm able to concentrate or not...I forced myself into my most hated subject!!!

Mathematics!!!

Clock was ticking 9pm...just then I heard a knock on my door. I got up and unbolted the door to see Shalini, Malini enter my room. I was wondering what was happening now...

'Heyyyy Ragiiii...we decided if you can't come along with us for dinner it's ok...we got you dinnerrrr' Malini squealed.

Although I had decided to behave myself well, she and her sugar coated nature always got on my nerves...I somehow could never tolerate these 'Extra sweet' people...Malini was always tooooo good to be true .. somehow since my childhood I could never trust!!! The reason why I was always 'mean' to her. My instincts never agreed that someone could be this sweet.

'Im not hungry' I spoke at once and went back fighting a kungfu with my integration sums...The mean value problem was anyways eating my brains...prove it...prove it!!! Nothing entered my brains...I must have joined the tuition classes... although this was my 3rd revision I was still struggling with calculus and integration sums.

'But Ragini we got you your favorite tomato penne pasta with extra cheese and your favorite chocolate lava blast pastry from 'Siyas'...seeeee' Shalini opened the box and the smell of pasta hit my nose...it was 'Siyas' and they are the bloody best in Mangalore...damnnn!!! My mouth...stop drooling!!!
But my self respect was too precious!

'No thanks...I'm busy...' I said to Shalini...

'Ragini please yaar...none of us ate...we all just went shopping ..picked food and came home baby...come along na...we waited for you at the dinner table since last half an hour and because you didn't come...I and Malini brought your food here...please eat baby' she said caressing my head.

The fact that 'HE' didn't come to persuade me hit me more painfully....

'Im busy Shalini...please go and eat' I said again...while Malini brought a spoon full of pasta to my mouth forcefully saying...

'Ragiiii just take one bite na...you'll love it' and I was enraged now..I swatted her hand and the spoon fell off her hand spilling the pasta...

I felt guilty!!! We never disrespect food...
I quickly mumbled 'Im sorry Malini...I didn't mea'

But before I could complete the statement I heard a roaring voice...

'Malini... Shalini...if someone doesn't want to eat...let them be...we couldn't teach people to talk properly to their guests ..how would we teach them to respect food...if they are hungry they will come... Anyways sometimes even sweetest of food can't sweeten a tongue that is ready to burn down the world...' he taunted and it broke something terrible in my heart...

'I want you both downstairs in 5... Shalini..you eat...you have to take your medicines too...quick...I'm starving...I can't wait to enjoy the meal' saying he left without sparing me a look...

Tears fell from my eyes wetting my text book...He thinks I don't respect people or food? Every year since he left I distribute meals in old age home and orphanage from my own pocket money...I have never wasted a morsel in my plate... I recalled when we would eat from each other's plate when I was 13 something to make sure we don't throw food...

He forgot everything!!!
I was feeling broken now...

Both the ladies left my room while Malini still said...
'Look Ragi...please eat something...if anything I did or said hurt you...I'm sorry...I know you never liked me much since our childhood days...but I genuinely have only good things for you...Please' she said and I actually felt bad for the way I behaved with her.

But what hurt me most was the man whom I devoted for years misunderstood me whereas this girl also understood I didn't mean to disrespect food.

I continued studying and I don't know when I slept on the study desk...I woke up to a sweet smell of chocolate and vanilla and mixed with some tomatoes and melted cheese...

I opened my eyes to see piping hot tomato pasta and melting choco lava blast pastry resting on my study table. I woke up and saw the time it was 1 am midnight. While I was gawking at the pasta and pastry I heard someone clear their throat...

I turned around to see Siddhesh sitting on the little couch of my room with a serious expression. He was wearing his oversized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants...shooting me with those dark brown eyes hiding behind his black framed glasses...

My eyes pricked fresh tears and I turned around and continued struggling with my integration sums...He got up from his place and walked near my study table and slightly pushed the pasta towards me and I politely pushed it to his side and continued struggling with my sum.

He stood there next to me...his musk fragrance hitting my nose and my already dysfunctional brain thanks to these integration sums were behaving even more crazy.

After probably standing there for 10 mins and me striking down the sum for the third time. He pulled the pen from my hand...and resolved the problem within 5 mins and I looked at the problem again and the solutions he provided and this time it entered my brains...

He is the best when it comes to maths!!!
Although he's a jerk when it comes to the rest!!! My heart shouted!!!

He went and got chilli flakes bottle and sprinkled some on the pasta and said...'Now that it's resolved...EAT!!!' he said and I gulped at once and said...

'Not hungry' I said without even looking at him.

At once he held my wrist and pulled me up. I stood up and looked into his eyes.

'What are you trying to prove here by not eating...you know you get acidity if you don't eat at night right??? Just shutup and eat a little...and I'm sorry if I was rude' he said while tears brimmed in my eyes...

But I was angry with him!!!
'Not hungry' I said again and was about to sit down.

He pulled my wrist again and this time I crashed into his chest and said...

'Eat or I will have to feed you...don't behave like a child..' and now I was raging...

I pushed him by his chest and said...
'You decide what do you want??? Why do you behave like you care huhhh??? If I'm hungry I'll eat or I'll starve...I don't respect people...I don't respect food...you know what you must not be here right now...go... leave...just go from here!!!' I shouted...

He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyelids with his fingers and said...
'I said I'm sorry Ragini... and fine I will leave...but you please eat first' he said and I was fuming...

'You want me to eat right... fine' I said pulling the pasta bowl I sat on the couch he was sitting before and pulled the chilli flakes bottle and put the entire bottle of chilli flakes onto the pasta ..

'Ragini... what the' he shouted seeing me mixing the bottle full of chilli flakes into the pasta...

'Stop this madness...you have acidity issues' saying he stopped further...

I went on stuffing my mouth with the spicy pasta...one spoon and my mouth was already on fire..I went on swallowing without thinking as my mouth and tongue now didn't feel any sensation now...it was burning such that my eyes and nose started watering badly...

'Enough Ragini...stop it...' he came and pulled the bowl from the table...

'Give it to me ..you wanted me to eat na... anyways I have a fierce tongue na...let me feed some more chillies to it... anyways you shouldn't bother...you went with your 'Miss perfection'...'Love of your life' Malini on a dinner date na' I yelled and he shrieked at once saying...

'Whattttt???'

'Oh now don't pretend like I don't know...I have seen you both ok...you find her perfect na...and I....I'm imperfect...am a looser...I don't know anything...I'm a over impulsive stupid kid right...just leave Siddhesh...Just go....

Just go to her!!!' I shouted and I saw he was numb.

His lips parted and I could see visible shocked expressions on his face.