• Author •

With sweat beads on her forehead, Suhana woke up startled from her sleep, on hearing continuous knocks on the door.

Glancing around the room and taking a second to realise, memories of last night gushed into her mind, surrounding her with negative thoughts.

Suhana turned instantly and glared at the other side of the bed, as her heart sank in disappointment.

He was not there.

The knocks on the door became aggressive as Suhana stayed frozen, glued to the bed, getting flashbacks of last night.

The aggressive door smashes by Fahid, asking her to open the door, while she was curled in one corner trying to call Vikram last night haunted her mind as the knocks on the door started growing.

The knocks stopped for a brief second, and the next second the door opened wide suddenly as someone barged in.

"I swear to God, I was just trying to be decent for once, but you..."

Rohit stopped on his trails inside the room, as his eyes fell on Suhana who was on the bed, with her eyes wide open.

"Suha?"

"Rohit?" Suhana asked, astonished with her palm on her heart, trying to calm down.

Both of them remained silent for a few seconds.

Suhana could figure out the creepy smile that was crawling into Rohit's face.

"Don't! Just don't " Suhana interrupted him from imagining his own thoughts.

"Okay okay!" Rohit tried to control his laughs as he turned around the room.

"Where is Vikram?" He asked as Suhana stared at him, having no idea.

"I don't have any idea. I haven't seen him since last night. He must've..." Suhana stopped talking as she could see another creepy smile on his face.

"You have been here since last night? You stayed here...in his room?" He tried to close his mouth from exposing his smiles.

"Nah nah! Don't give me that smile." Suhana warned as Rohit was still trying to control his laughter.

"Fine fine actually..." Rohit hesitated for a second, and then sighed, brushing off his thoughts.

"Well anyways...looks like I have to break the happy news to you first" Rohit dragged the chair near the table and sat in front of Suhana who was seated on the bed.

"Happy news? What is it?" Suhana tried to sound happy, as she was craving for some positive thoughts that could beat the negative ones in her head right now.

"Guess what..."

"Hmm...what?" Suhana dragged her words waiting for him to spill it.

"Come on...guess something" Rohit hyped up as Suhana tried to think but couldn't think straight.

"I don't know you tell me"

"Well...Your dad...he called me today...and said he is okay with me marrying his one and only precious daughter, Megha!" Rohit was squealing with happiness.

"What?" Suhana eyed him , raising her eyebrow, as she tried to decipher the words, marriage, him and Megha.

"Sorry sorry, one of his precious daughters "Suhana hurriedly got from the bed standing in front of Rohit.

"You're joking right?" Suhana clasped her mouth, shocked.

"I don't think so!"

"Omg! I'm so happy for both of you" Suhana gave him a hug as she could feel her eyes tear up.

"Megha said she wanted to be the first person to tell this fantastic news to you...but nevermind I can get 5 punches from her!"

Suhana laughed back as happy tears fell from both of their eyes.

"Don't worry when she breaks the news to me, I'll act as if I didn't know about this before"

"And actually...the marriage is set 2 months from now" Though Rohit was jumping around like a kid, his voice reflected his excitement and happiness.

"Rohit what???" Suhana cupped her mouth shocked and squealed in happiness.

"Anyways, what made dad change his mind?"

"Well, from what Megha said...looks like Vikram spoke with him, recently " Rohit said as Suhana interrupted him.

"Vikram? He spoke with dad? Are you sure? Because yesterday when Vikram met dad....I'm pretty sure dad warned him not to meet me and..."

"...So you decided to meet him here? Without Uncle's knowledge?" Rohit interrupted her with a smirk.

"Get out! Get out you brat" Suhana faked beating him.

"You really are a saviour, Suhana. You know that right? This wouldn't have happened if not for you....and Vikram."

" I can't even imagine what mom would have done if you both hadn't agreed to your marriage...."Rohit dragged his words as smile slowly disappeared from Suhana's face.

Suhana's smile was stolen away with every word, as she was reminded of what really happened to them back then.

"Well, let me search for Vikram and tell this news to him as well" Rohit bid his goodbye and left to search Vikram.

Suhana grabbed the nearby table for support as she felt like she was losing her mind.

2 months.

"Two months is all I have left in this fake marriage?" Suhana wondered as she could feel her whole world crumble.

•••

• Suhana •

"It was Rohit wasn't it? That guy can't keep his mouth shut for a few hours?" Megha sighed in disappointment on the other side of the phone, as I tried to sound sane.

I tried my level best to not reveal the fact that I knew the news beforehand from Rohit, but I got caught.

"To be honest. I really should thank Vikram for all of this."

"Vikram?" I asked, confused whether what Rohit said was really true.

"Yeah this morning, me and dad had a huge argument and dad kind of lost his patience...and so I really needed someone to talk to him and so I tried calling you, and that's when Vikram picked up...I explained to him the situation and he arrived here in a very few minutes."

My phone? Oh crap, I left it in...Fahid's house.

Wait.

Why was Vikram having it?

Did he...

Oh god no.

"...and trust me, he and dad were talking alone for a long time. It looked like a very serious conversation but I have no idea what they even spoke because the next minute after their lengthy conversation, dad approved this marriage"

"Ohhh" It was all that came out from my mouth as I was busy trying to connect the dots on what Vikram was .

"Megha, can you just inform mom and dad that I'm staying at Aisha's for another day?"

"You don't have to worry, I already told mom that you and Aisha are working in a group project "

"Thanks"

"Thanks? I thought that's what sisters are for" I could feel her warmth and her cheerful vibes through the phone.

"So now...don't worry and have some quality time with your husband" Megha giggled on the other side of the phone as she hung up.

Trying not to jump into conclusions, I dialled Vikram's number on his landline.

He didn't go to Fahid's house. Please tell me he didn't go there.

Breathing out through my mouth, I was losing my mind, panicking as Vikram picked up the call immediately after the second ring.

"Hello?" I blurted out immediately.

"Suhana?"

"Vikram..." I dragged the words, having no idea on how to confront him.

"Do you need something?" Vikram sounded dull as I could feel my anxiety creep in.

"Where are you?" I asked out.

"I'm at the office, working" Vikram replied almost immediately.

What is wrong with him?

"Oh" I could feel my hope crashing down to the floor.

"When will you come back?"

"I'm busy, I'll talk to you later Suhana. If you need anything ask Rohit." The call came to an abrupt end before Suhana could even confront him about how he got her phone.

What's wrong with Vikram? Is he really caught up with work?

Or is he just avoiding me?

"If he was really busy then why would he go to speak with dad?" I muttered to myself, disheartened.

I spent the next few hours informing Harshad that I wouldn't be able to attend the hospital for the day.

It felt odd talking to him after the fight he had with Vikram yesterday.

Anyways I should clear out the misunderstanding soon. I will, for sure.

I spent the next few hours tending to my sprained arm, trying to distract myself.

Not wanting my mind to ward off back to the incident, I grabbed a book and decided to fill the void in my heart.

The moon had already risen and still Vikram hadn't returned. I had tried almost everything I could do to keep myself busy until he came back, but I couldn't.

I had already called Vikram twice asking him if something was wrong or if he was upset with me, but he gave vague answers, with each call not even lasting 15 seconds.

I decided to dial him again as Rohit barged into the room.

"Are you hurt somewhere?" Rohit panicked as I stood up.

"Huh no" I lied as he handed over a small paper brown cover to me.

"Vikram asked me to give these medications to you. So I thought you were hurt somewhere"

"Vikram? He came home?" I almost exited the room.

"No, Vinay, his personal assistant dropped by a few minutes ago"

It was probably the hundredth time I was getting disappointed today by keeping my hopes too high.

Getting disappointed for every doorbell.

I was losing my mind.

No, I have already lost it.

"Thanks Rohit" Rohit nodded as he turned back to leave.

"Rohit...by any chance is the workload in the office too much these days?"

"Workload? Huh no, in fact I treated all our employees to a good dinner tonight to celebrate the marriage announcement " Rohit winked at me, as I was drowning in confusion.

"Vikram came too?"

"Vikram? No he didn't come to office today" Rohit replied as I could feel the lump forming in my throat.

He is avoiding me.

But why?

And there's only one way to find it out.

Downhearted, I impulsively dialled Vikram's number on the landline as Rohit had left.

This time he picked the call in the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Vikram where are you? When are you coming back?"

"Suhana...I'm caught up with some client work in office, I won't able to leave from here.

I couldn't take it in.

I couldn't take in the words he was lying to me.

"Vikram?"

All I could hear from the other side was silence.

We both didn't dare to speak another word for the next few minutes. We both remained in the call not wanting to utter another word, while hearing each breathe through the phone.

"Am I making you uncomfortable by staying in your house?" Tears started to pour involuntarily from my eyes as I clutched my heart fearing to hear his answer.

I know.

It's me. I'm the problem.

I expected too much from him. And dreamed of a world with him which will never be possible in real life.

I jumped into dreamland with him in my thoughts while we were stuck in a namesake marriage and weren't even called husband and wife outside this house.

"Suhana..."

"You could've just told me Vikram, I wouldn't have troubled you" I wiped my tears which were pouring down with every second he failed to utter a word.

My heart was aching. I was stupid and senseless for I did this to myself.

I gave our relationship more priority than I should've given.

Wait, what even is our relationship? What am I even to him? And what is he to me?

Friend? Namesake husband? Just my sister's future brother-in-law?

"Suhana, it's not what you think, you can stay there for as long as you want. It's just office work here" I could hear the tremor in his voice.

What was wrong with him? Why is he lying to me?

"Vikram I know that you're not in office today and I also know that you're lying to me. And I know that it's my presence that is making you not to come back home"

He didn't reply. He didn't reply to anything.

But I got my answer. His silence explained every little thing to me that his words failed to explain.

"Thank you Vikram. I'm glad that you were by my side to calm me down when I needed you yesterday. You can come back home. Thanks a lot for your hospitality. I'm sure you won't feel uncomfortable with my presence anymore, because I'm leaving in a few minutes." I hung up the call and quickly stood up, wiping away my tears.

I better leave before I do anything stupid.

I walked downstairs wiping away my tears, thank god no one was there in the living room.

I silently moved towards the exit and opened the door, only to find Vikram standing outside, his hair drenched from the pouring rain outside, breathing heavily.

He was here all this while?

And in seconds, all the words I had wanted to ask him and confront him got stuck in my throat. I couldn't bring myself to ask him anything.

I should leave. That's the best choice, I consoled myself and moved past him as he suddenly grabbed my wrist.

"Don't leave." I turned back almost immediately.

And for a split second, I wanted to stay there.

Tell him that I never wanted to leave.
Or maybe it was just my stupid hormones.

The hormones which took over me when I kissed him first in the hospital.

Or were they really just hormones or was it what I really wanted?

When I myself is confused this badly and not sure of my actions and what I really want...how could I ever give him an answer to why I kissed him that day?

"Just stay here Suhana" He spoke up as I jumped back to reality.

"I have to leave. That would be the best decision, Vikram" I turned back and decided to leave.

But I couldn't. His grip on my wrist was so tight that I couldn't release my hand from his hold.

"Leave me, Vikram" I tried to remove my wrist from his tight hold.

"I won't " His reply was curt and gruff which threw me off guard.

I remained still facing him expecting him to speak up while we both were being drenched in the pouring rain, just like last night.

"Why? Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you come back home?" I demanded an answer from him as he faced away from me, yet tightly holding my wrist.

Seconds passed and several minutes as we both stood there under the rain not ready to utter another word.

"You won't answer my questions and yet want me to stay here?"

Still no reply.

"It's okay Vikram. It was my fault. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry" I replied as I tried to retrieve my wrist from his hold as he suddenly pulled me closer by my wrist.

"Stop saying that. I am glad that you came to me first after everything you went through yesterday"

"Then...what made you not come home? Fahid? Was it because of Fahid? Did you meet him today? Is that why you had my phone when Megha called me? Did he say something about me? What did he say? That I'm a bad woman? What bad stuff did he say about me? Did he..."

I was losing my mind.

"Suhana stop!" I paused breathing heavily, as he interrupted.

"He's a sleeveen, a scoundrel, so yes of course he did say a lot of bad stuff about you. But none of it affected me nor will any words against you, will ever hurt or affect me. What I'm hurt right now is about what you failed to tell Fahid ."

Failed to tell?

What did I not say?

"I left home last night after you were asleep. And I did everything I could to put that scumbag behind bars and not let him roam freely in this city even for a second. And when I finally succeeded in throwing him in prison for misbehaving with my wife, he comes up and says the most heartbreaking words."

"What did he say? What did he say Vikram?" I moved closer to him, confused about what was happening.

'Even when I called her to be a whore or your side chick...she never said that she was your wife. Maybe she finds it more insulting than these words'

"That's exactly what he said, with a mocking smile and with no remorse.
You didn't want to tell him I was your husband? Does it really sound that bad? Me being your husband?"

My lips parted unknowingly not knowing what to say next.

What should I say?

"Vikram it's not..." I paused not knowing what to tell.

"It's not about what he said, Suhana. It's about what those words made me think. Even after these many months being tangled in this marriage....even in a bad situation you wouldn't tell someone we're married or that you're my wife?"

"I know that even if you had told that you're my wife he would've misbehaved with you. But at least for a split second he would've been scared to touch you. He would've feared to touch my wife." Along with the rain, our eyes were pouring down as well, as I remained helplessly.

We stood there just like that for minutes, with his hold still tightly gripped around my wrist.

"What are we Suhana? Who am I to you?" I looked up into his eyes, only to find yearning both in his eyes and his voice.

What am I supposed to tell him, when I myself don't know the answer?

What should we name this relationship?

What name should I give to this special bond that we're sharing?

Or is this how it feels to be in love?

"Wasn't this supposed to be a fake marriage Vikram?" I decided to speak up words that I never wanted to utter.

"What?" His voice came out as a mutter in disbelief.

"Wasn't that what we agreed to before we got married? Never to get involved in others personal affairs.
And that this marriage is fake and it took place only for the sake of our siblings and this marriage ends the minute Megha and Rohit get married?"

"Suhana I..."

"And today you spoke with dad and got Rohit and Megha's marriage approved which is in 2 months.
Wow Vikram, I'm Impressed. But what does that mean? Does that portray your unconditional love for Megha and Rohit or... that you just want to get rid of me and this fake marriage mess? I'm confused."

"Suhana stop!"

"Stop what? Stop telling facts that you once told me? Oh wait...where is the book of rules or whatever that is.
With so many factors reminding me that we're in a fake marriage and that we should never reveal to the world that we're married...after all that, do you still expect me to go around telling people that you're my husband and that we're married?" His grip around my wrist loosened as he looked at me differently.

As if I broke his heart.

"If I do so then I would be the most delusional person Vikram. And for God's sake, I'm already trying so hard not to get my heart broken by you, so let's stop this here Vikram." I pulled my hand back from his hold forcefully.

"Two months we'll do just as my dad said, we'll stay separated...and then once Megha and Rohit are married, let's file a divorce. That's the best decision we can take for both of our lives. Goodbye Vikram." I fought my tears as I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned back and started walking away from him.

Don't turn back.

Don't turn back, I told myself.

Because If I'm turning back then I would never be leaving this place. Ever.

I made the right decision, I consoled myself and paced forward as Vikram ran and stopped in front of me.

"Vikram, let me leave" He dodged me no matter how much I tried to leave.

"No, I won't. You're not leaving this place until I get a clear answer from you."

"What, I just told you everything"

"Everything? You just told me what I already knew. What you told me was past Suhana. It was everything before and immediate days after our marriage. What about now? I want to know the answer from the Suhana who is infront of me right now.

So now tell me...Who am I to you?"

What should I say? Vikram you are...

Someone who makes my heart race?

Someone who makes me nervous?

Someone I would risk everything to make sure you're okay?

"Tell me Suhana. You said...you are trying everything to make sure that I don't break your heart. What does that mean?" He brought his hand forward, tucking my rain soaked hair away from my face.

He cupped my face with both his hands, while looking into my eyes searching for an answer.

"Vikram...It was like a mission for me to never ever fall for someone like you. Someone who is narcissistic, conceited, selfish, idiotic, loving, caring.

And I sure as hell didn't want it to be you. But I failed in that mission terribly"

"Why you? What did it have to be you Vikram? Why did I have to fall for you when you already have someone else in your life? And I sure as hell know that you will never return even 1% of my feelings and this will be one sided forever." Tears started pouring down uncontrollably as I reminisced that day. And that photo. Him and her.

Why did I have to see that?

The photo which clearly told me that I will never have a place in his heart.

"What? I would never return 1% of your feelings? This is one-sided? I have someone else in my life? Is that what you perceive of me, Suhana?" He took a step away from me and turned back slicking his wet hair away from his face and looked back at me staring into my eyes.

"Why would I even follow you like a puppy if it's one sided? If it's one sided, why would I risk everything and enter your room through the balcony only to look at you? Why would we sleep in the same bed if it's one sided and for god's sake why would I ask you for a revenge kiss if it's one sided? We never were and never will be friends, because friends do not kiss each other, Suhana.

In Fact it was me who always wanted to put distance between us and it was also me who failed to do so.

You have no idea what you do to me, Mrs.Suhana Malhotra. No matter if you're right next to me or you are miles apart, every minute, every second, and every millisecond, I crave for you.

I crave for your presence, your aura, your warmth, your love, everything. I crave for you. And that's the kind of effect you have over me. So yeah, this is not one sided!"

Tears poured down both our eyes as we both were very well aware that they weren't tears of sadness.

We were tearing up on hearing what we honestly wanted to hear from each other.

"Then what about that book of rules and fake marriage and..."

"Fuck them all" He paced towards me as he hurriedly crashed his lips against mine.

Raindrops poured heavily against us as he captured my lower lips.

Heat gushed into my cheeks as his hand swirled around my neck while the other around my waist, pulling me closer.

His breath was warm and his lips were sweet, and his scent kept lingering on me, as I could feel myself craving for more.

Just like every time, I thought it would just be a peck. 

But it wasn't, Vikram deepened the kiss, leaving me to experience indescribable sensations.

With our heartbeats synchronized, my hands moved to his face, as I cupped them and kissed him back.

And this time it felt a whole lot different.

• • •

Happy new years sweets, have a happy year ahead ♡