You entered the kitchen, seeing Gucci sitting there watching you, so you removed your winter attire, and went to give her food. You watched the kittens for a few minutes, trying to convince yourself that you would be okay when it was time to leave here. Taehyung could never be your forever. He was amazing, and you couldn't deny that you felt something for him. But he would never return those feelings.

~♡~

I heard her come back inside, and waited for her to put her coat and boots away, figuring she would come back into the living room. But she didn't come in right away. Maybe she was feeding Gucci.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, she wandered back in, and sat back down on the couch.

"Any problems with the horses?"

"Nope, I got the stalls all cleaned and fresh bedding put down, and they came right in. I left them happily eating their feed."

"Thank you. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that till after winter is over. And Your Welcome."

I stared at her, wondering where that came from. Of course, that had been what we'd decided, but that had been before I'd realized that I...that I cared for her. And I was sure she cared for me.

"Y/N, tell me what's wrong."

"I told you, nothing. Why are you asking me again?"

I looked at her, my eyes meeting hers, and I looked deep into them. She held my gaze for only seconds, before looking away, but in those seconds, I saw hurt, and confusion.

"Because you're lying. I just don't know what I said or did that has you upset."

She wouldn't look at me.

"Y/n. Please. If you don't tell me, I can't fix it."

She finally looked up. I could still see the hurt in her eyes, and I just wanted to make it go away.

"I don't think there's anything to fix Tae. You offered me your home thru the winter, and I accepted. Once winters is over, I'll leave so you can get back to your life the way you want it."

I closed my eyes, frustrated with myself for not being able to figure out what had happened, what I'd said, that suddenly had her thinking I wanted her to leave.

"Y/n, I don't know why you think I'd want you to leave. I don't."

She gave a single shake of her head. "You just think that now. You said yourself...all good things come to an end."   

I stared at her for a minute. There were words in my head, but they were all jumbled up, and they weren't making it to my lips. I had, without a doubt, said that. But I wasn't talking about her. I couldn't lose her, not over something as ridiculous as words that had only been said to make her stop with the suggestions that I keep singing. Because I wanted to, so bad. I missed it. But I couldn't. I couldn't because, what if, no one wanted to hear me anymore. 

I tried to gather my thoughts, trying to make everything I was feeling for her make sense. I looked at her, begging her to see it, see what I couldn't say. But she just looked sad.

"Y/n, you," I shook my head, the words getting lost in the tangle of letters stampeding thru my mind. I closed my eyes, and tried again. "You, are so much more than a good thing. You are one of the best things that's ever happened to me. The last thing I want is for you to leave."

Her eyes met mine. The light that I'd seen there earlier was gone.

"Y/N..." I sighed, frustrated. "Can we just forget I said that then?"

Her eyes closed briefly, her head moving back and forth slowly.

"I don't know if I can, Taehyung."

"I wish I'd never said it."

"I wish I hadn't heard it." She whispered, her eyes catching mine.

We held each others gaze, and I again wished she could see what I needed her to know, but was afraid to say.

"I've been thru a lot, Tae. I can't take the chance of being hurt again."

"I'd never hurt you, Y/n."

She looked away. "I know you would never treat me the way I was treated in the past. But there are other ways you can hurt someone. I can't," she swallowed, her gaze catching mine again. "I can't hope for something that may never happen, or even worse, that might come to an end if it does happen."

"I only said that because I didn't want you to keep talking about me trying to revive my career as a singer. I can't do that anymore, Y/n."

She watched me for several seconds, then simply said "Why?"

I took a calming breath, only it didn't calm me at all. I hadn't told anyone that I felt this way. I wasn't sure why I did. But the fact remained that I did, and I couldn't shake it.

"I'm...actually... afraid, that no one will," I closed my eyes, " want to hear me sing anymore."

I opened my eyes to see her expression soften.

"That's why I said that. That part of my life is over. It was amazing while it lasted, but it's time to put it in the past now."

"You have an amazing voice, Tae. What makes you think no one would want to hear it? I want to  hear it."

I smiled, just a small smile, but it was all I could muster at the moment.

"Then I'll sing for you."

She smiled back at me.

"I'd like that."

At the moment, I didn't know what else to say. I wanted to beg her to stay, to never leave. Instead, I stayed quiet, watching her, silently begging her to see what she had done to me, to see that I was feeling things I swore I would never feel again.

I couldn't tell her, I was afraid to tell her.

I was afraid not to tell her too.

"Are you hungry? I know we had a late lunch, but if you want, I can fix us something to eat."

I shook my head. "Not really. Are you?"

She shook her head. "No."

I wanted to ask her if she still planned to leave once winter was over, but I was afraid of her answer. So I didn't ask.

There were months of winter left. I had months to try to make her see what I couldn't say.

My phone rang in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see Hoseok was calling me. He didn't call often, so I answered it, hoping everything was okay.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tae-ah! Long time no speak!"

"Hey Hobi hyung...how's everything?"

"Oh, great, great! I miss you, bro. Sorry I haven't called you more often. Mae Lynn and I have just been so busy traveling around Korea talking to all the students, and time just seems to go by so quickly anymore."

I chuckled. "It's Okay, I know you're busy Hyung."

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and looked up to see Y/n, a smile as she looked at me, then pointed up, turning to leave the room, I assumed to go upstairs to her room and give me privacy.

"So, I have some news for you, and I hope you feel like traveling."

I tilted my head, curious.

"News? What kind of news?"

I could almost hear the smile on his face as he spoke.

"Mae Lynn and I are getting married. You have to come to the wedding."

My eyes widened in surprise, not expecting to hear that. But honestly, I wasn't surprised. They'd been inseparable since they had finally met, and it had been easy to see how much they liked each other from the start. I smiled, happy for him.

"That's great Hyung! I'm really  happy for you."

"Thanks Tae-ah. I didn't want to ask you this over the phone, but I don't really have a choice. I want you to be my best man."

I froze, not sure I'd heard him correctly. Did he just ask me to be his best man? Me?

"Tae? Are you still there?"

I shook my head, rubbing my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm here."

"So....will you?"

I hesitated for a few seconds. "You want me...to be your best man?"

"Of course I do. Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I just, I mean...I'm not sure why you would want me, what about Yoongi hyung, or Namjoon Hyung?"

"Tae...why wouldn't I want you?"

It was my fault Mae Lynn was in a wheelchair. I'd let him drive after drinking. It was my fault he'd had that accident. It was my fault, because of that, that BTS disbanded. I'd come to accept it, and I'd learned not to let it consume me. But deep down, I knew it was all true.

"Hyung, one of the others would be better."

"No, Tae. I want you. I won't take no for an answer."

"But why? Everything is my fault, hyung." I whined.

I heard him sigh. "You're right Tae-ah. Everything is your fault. It's your fault that I drove drunk, and hit someone. It's your fault that I closed myself off from everyone, letting depression take over, and losing interest in everything that used to make me happy. But if all that is your fault, then it's also your fault that the person I hurt ended up being the love of my life, my soulmate. If you hadn't let me go, let me drive myself, It wouldn't have happened, and I wouldn't have met Mae Lynn."

I was silent, my breathing the only sound from my end.

"Tae, I chose to drive myself. You could have taken my keys away, sure. You could have insisted I come with you, and I'm sure with help from the others, I could have been forced into your car. Instead, you let me go. But it was still my choice, and my actions that caused the accident. I should have known better. I did know better. But I thought I'd be okay."

I had tears gathered in my eyes. Things could be so different right now, if I'd just done that night differently.

"I know you still blame yourself, but you need to stop. I don't blame you. I never have."

I swallowed, feeling a lump in my throat.

"Tae, if things hadn't happened the way they had, I wouldn't have met Mae lynn. She's my whole world. She means everything to me. So if you feel like my accident was your fault, then know that my greatest happiness is because of you as well." 

"She's in a wheelchair, hyung. That's the part that I feel so guilty about."

I'd blurted it out without even thinking. I hadn't meant to.

It was completely silent, and I wondered it I'd upset him. After a moment, he spoke.

"Being in a wheelchair doesn't change who she is, Tae. She's still the most beautiful, sweet, funny, caring, happy girl I've ever met. That wheelchair is the reason there are things she can't do, but she makes up for it with what she can do. She doesn't let it bring her down, it's not a disability to her. If it weren't for that wheelchair, neither one of us would be as passionate as we are about ending drunk driving. It was a huge price to pay, but it has given us so much joy to be able to talk to so many students, and know we are making an impact."