4th October 1982

Hey, diary!

You come to know about happiness when your wish and trust come along together as a person and he promises you in a very different way. when my father invited him to Durga pooja in our pandal, i was the happiest person. I felt lord Durga's blessings on me, When my father asked me to give our traditional attire to him, I felt Jesus, alla, and every single Hindu god's blessing over me.

Finally, after three hours of torture, i could able to speak with him in private, but i was confused with the words. what i will talk to him, But the constant smile, I quickly rushed to my father's cupboard and took the silk dhoti which i gifted him on his birthday. and silk red kurta and rushed to the guest room. 

I could i forgot, he was with that stupid brother of my jiju. I knocked on the door, Both turned at me at the very next second. Before he could come to my side that neel Chatterjee passed a smile. 

"Baba gave this to shivaay and invited him for the pandal," i said and kept his attire on the bed and left. But i heard his thanks when i turn around and started to move. Shivaay again gave birth to the smile which faded away because of that idiot neel Chatterjee. "No mention..." i said and left his room with a long-lasting smile. 

Ever heard about the seizing moment, If life gives me any chance, i will definitely seize this moment. Mom gave her saree and also helped me to drape it properly, For the first time in my history, I looked my feminine side before the mirror, wearing saree, wearing bangles, wearing jewellery. I did everything that my mom asked me to do. Unknowingly, I am more conscious than my sister, who was an actual bride in this scene, But i got ready for my groom, My groom, shivaay. 

My father couldn't control his tears when he saw me flaunting in a saree looked like a Bengali bride. But my cheeks automatically went pink when i imagined myself before him. but when i actually saw him in the pandal. i literally lost myself, He looked handsome beyond my imagination. When he looked at me with his killer smile, Uff, I died. Still, it's playing inside my head like anything. 

Sorry Durga maa, For not worshipping you but i got diverted, you know, how much i love you, right? even though i did that, you never fail to give my presents. This time it was not a gift but you gave me the new reason to live, you give me a soulmate with whom i could spend the rest of my life. 

I never expect he will drag me to one corner and arrest me with his gaze, or his love in sense. I couldn't able to speak anything even though i had millions of thing to say in my mind. I could hear my own heartbeat but i stayed in that place with him, with that mesmerising silent. he didn't touch me but i felt the pleasure all over my body. 

"What you're holding?" he asked me when he saw me holding vermillion inside my palms. 

"Kumkum, Usually Bengali ladies apply it everyone's face and celebrate this puja..."  - i replied while looking elsewhere. 

"I am leaving tonight..." - he said while taking some quantity of the vermillion in his palm and choked my breath. 

"Why? i mean i am leaving tomorrow, we will together..." - i said

"At last, I heard your voice which i yearned for a long time..." - he replied, The chillness created in my heart nobody could sense that feeling. She didn't say anything but smiled. 

"If you allow me, Shall i apply this kumkum on your face?" - he asked out of blue, i looked deep into eyes before saying anything. i mentally agreed but don't know when it reached him. he brought his vermillion filled hands towards me, I felt everything in a slow-motion, Instead of applying it on my face, He applied it on my forehead out of my surprise.

Surprised and shocked, both are different type of feelings. But when i was experiencing that moment, more than getting surprised, I was happy. I didn't know, Being a south Indian he could understand the meaning of applying kumkum in one woman's forehead but that moment gave me the strength to face anything for him. I didn't know whether he did it knowingly or unknowingly but doing that he tattooed his place on my soul. 

"he applied sindoor on our mom's forehead, without even knowing the meaning... or he did it on the purpose" - Arushi asked Avinash. 

"Can i say something, You won't feel wrong right?" - Avi asked Arushi. 

"Tell me..." - Arushi allowed him. 

"I think he did it on purpose Because he spent the whole day with neel Chatterjee you know, even after my birth, he wished to marry mom... Dad must get insecure..." Avinash said. 

"Neel Chatterjee proposed mom after you are born..." - Aru asked. 

"Yeah..." - he asked.

"Where he is right now?" - Arushi asked. 

"Deeda once said about his death casually before a few years..." - Avi said and Arushi sensed something but she was not ready to trust anything in blind without any evidence. 

"What happened?" - Avi asked her. 

"nothing, Next whose turn?" - Aru asked him. 

"I think it's my turn..." - Avi said and took the diary from her hand and started to read next few entries which would change their life completely. 

*********

Everything went fine in shivaay and anika's current universe, They both felt heaven in their presence. Shivaay, on the other hand, couldn't figure out, why he couldn't share everything to her. There were a million things in his head which he wanted to share with her frankly. But he couldn't, He just couldn't. He afraid if he tells her the whole issue, she might leave him forever. 

The time came when her re-exams started to schedule, and upto her shock, there were no enough study holidays in between the exams. But Shivaay calmed herself and skipped his coaching centre for a whole week and stayed with anika in her room, And help her revise the whole portions. 

"Don't get tensed, Just write, what you know... that's enough" - shivaay said while holding her palms tighter. They were standing before the exam centre, Anika asked her father not to accompany her, Her dad did the same as he didn't want to bother her during the exams. 

"I never get tensed for any exams in the past, But now, i think my blood pressure rate would have reached the hundred" - she said while holding his palms tighter. he chuckled on her tensed face. 

"Why?" - he asked. 

"Because you taught me, i don't want to play with your trust..." - she said in a very low tone. 

"Buddu... These exams never decide how the way i feel about you... you reserved the constant place in my heart... so relax and go to your exams... i will present right here, Till you finish the exam" - he said while cupping her face. 

"Shall i hug you once?" - she asked her. 

"People are watching us..." - he said while pinching her cheeks. 

"I don't care about them" - she said and hugged him at the very next second, he patted her back and kissed her forehead. 

"All the best..."  - he said when she broke the hug. 

"Even if you pass or fail, I will be constant in your life..." - he added. she went to write her exams with a smiley face and without any tense.  

Those words from him were nothing like magic. she finished all her exams successfully. For the first time in her life, she confidently said to her father that he could expect her to beat her sister Nithya's mark. Another soul was also happy for her, as she did her exams successfully. 

In the middle of the afternoon, She got a call from shivaay through landline and asked her to come to the terrace. she did the same, she rushed to the terrace instead and saw him sitting above one of the tanks. 

"Shivaay!" - she called him and he gestured her to come upstairs, Climate was dull, not too sunny. she climbed and rested herself next to him. 

"What? why you suddenly called me?" - she asked. 

"Can't i call you for no purpose?" - he asked her. 

"Not like that, you can..." - she smiled blushing look aside. 

"Are you blushing?" - he asked. 

"Yeah, i think so..." - she replied. 

"Okay... This is my gift from my hand for doing your exams well" - he gifted her a box and she surprising opened it and shocked to see the smartphone inside the box. She looked at him shockingly. 

"I can't take this gift from you..." - she said in an instant. 

"Why?" - he asked. 

"Because it's a huge gift... i can't take it from you..." - she denied it in an instant. 

"I bought this phone from the stipend i used to get whenever i get chance to work with badi-papa and paapa when i was in Mumbai... I bought this from my own money... i really want to gift it to you" - he said with pleading eyes which she couldn't say no to them. 

"Okay! Tell me when is your birthday..." - she asked instead. 

"Huge time left for that..." - he replied. 

"How many months?" - she asked. 

"Three years..." - he said. she looked at him perplexed. 

"I born in 29th February" - he added. 

"What are you saying? Even i born on that day..."- anika said shockingly. 

"No..." - he said. 

"Yeah..." - she unlocked her phone and shown him the picture of the birthday cake which she cut last year (2012).

"Timing?" - he asked. 

"11.59 PM" - she said. 

"12.01 AM" - he said. 

"Technically i am the elder one..." - he said and both chuckled. 

"Come, Let's take a selfie in my new phone..." - she said and clicked multiple selfies while making weird faces. Most of the selfies clicked with his wide and happy smile. He came back to his house after biding her bye from the lift. His smiling face faded away to nowhere when he entered into his house. 

Anika couldn't wait until his birthday to gift him something. so decided to go to the kitchen and tried to prepare some dish for him. He didn't take any help from anyone but opened the youtube from the phone which he gifted to her. When her father asked her about her new phone she said she bought it on her own with her savings, which was her LIC Insurance Amount which got credited in her sister's bank account which anika was using currently.  After meeting shivaay, Lies were coming like a joint train and nobody could ever guess that she was telling lies. 

She placed all the Rasagulla's in a hot pack and proceeded her way towards his house. Upto her surprise, their door was wide open, she stopped knocking when she heard somebody's murmur sound from shivaay's room. Her heart started to beat fast when she saw his room locked from inside, The next instinct asked her to go to the window and check what was happening. 

She slightly slid the window screen and peeped inside. she saw shivaay sitting in a bench and a saree-wearing-lady slid her hands inside his pants. Her face went pale, Her hands started to shiver. A huge lump formed in her throat which made her difficult to breathe. She kept the dish in the table next to the window and tried to run away from the situation. But Shivaay's mom made her way from outside. 

"Hey, anika... what are you doing here?" - Pinky asked her. There was no energy left in her to smile at her. 

"What's that?" - she enquired about the hotbox which she bought along with her. Anika was silent. Hearing his mom, shivaay rushed outside. His eyes went on anika who was not in the state to look at him. 

"Mrs Noor... What are you doing in shivaay's room?" - Pinky posted the next question when she saw her coming from his room. Anika neither looked at her. 

"Nothing Mrs Oberoi... shivaay had some doubts in calculus... so i decided to clear his doubts"- she looked at shivaay who helplessly glared at her and then saw anika who was speechless. 

"I have to leave, Aunty... Daddy must be searching for me..." - she said. 

"Tell me... what you bought for us?" - Pinky insisted. 

"Rasgullas... for sh..sh..shivaay, no..no..note of thanks" - she said and gave that Tiffen box to pinky and rushed outside. 

Anika rushed to her room and closed the door. Even though she tried a lot to divert from what she saw from her mind, she couldn't. She couldn't able to breathe. she looked at the phone which was beeping in notifications. 

"Ani... i can explain," 

"Please attend my call, Once" - he pleaded in WhatsApp. But she didn't bother to give any reply to his messages. 

After a while, she calmed herself and took her phone, typed with her shivering fingers. 

"Shivaay, Give me some time... i will talk with you later..." - she typed and threw the phone aside in the bed and buried her face in her bed and cried. 

Here shivaay regret his decision of not sharing everything to her, but after everything went in a wrong direction, he had no options with himself. How could he say that he was sexually assaulted by his father's business parter's wife? Because of whom his father gain some respect in the business world. He was feeling the hell, the main reason behind his silence and introvert nature. But when he saw anika, he finally got his own self back. But today, He lost everything. He tried her phone multiple times but she didn't attend. Instead, she sent a message and asked him to give her some time. 

He stopped contacting her, Instead, went back to his room with the handmade dish, And ate everything lonely, Forgetting that he was a diabetic patient. Tears were flowing in one hand and he terribly started to miss her on the other hand. Everything around him went dark, There was no light.