Date: 14th July 1982

Hey Diary!

Don't ask me why i didn't write for the past few days, Don't ask me what happened to me, Don't ask me how's your days in your college, Don't ask me why the hell i didn't give ear to my father's advice. He was right, two hundred per cent, he always wishes for the best in my life. He went against my whole orthodox Bengali family and sent me miles away to pursue my dreams. To pursue the dream of becoming an entrepreneur. Why you did that, baba? You know what's happening with me in this college. I completely lost the track, baba. Nobody believes me. 

You're right, baba. I shouldn't have to trust anyone so sooner.  I feel like dying, baba. I am not strong anymore. I am not your Jhansi rani anymore. That kavish, whom i thought was my friend, betrayed. He told the entire campus that we had sex together. Baba, the whole campus see me like a slut. But nothing happened between us baba. We both just talked, just a conversation, how could someone turn a simple, mere conversation as sex. when you called me Last night, i could able to say anything to you, I couldn't able to burst everything to you. 

When my one of the classmate, shivaay Nair, told me about this, i didn't believe. I thought he must be blabbering something and I even slapped him for warning me. He initially told that Kavish was not the guy like he's looking outside. I thought he was jealous like every other boy in the college. But he was actually saving me from getting bullied. He dragged me out of the classroom and asked me to go back to the hostel room when some guys purposefully tried to touch me during the class. I was numb, What shall i do, baba? shall i come back to home?  What will others say if i come back to home? Especially, Maushi? Is it okay to die? Baba, i can't imagine that. Baba, I need you, Baba...

DAY: 15th July 1982.

Hey diary, 

Decisions are the variable.  I understand that, but when the unexpected things come to you at the most needed time will always remain in you heart forever. I never expected, My door would bang in the middle of the night, I never expected that he will come in the woman attire just to see my condition. I was not in the condition to greet him and welcome him inside. but he didn't expect that Instead took the chair and sat opposite to me. He was silent, but when i saw bangles in his hairy hands, I had to smile. I smiled even i had no courage to face the next day in the college. 

Why you wore this? i asked him, but he didn't answer my questions rather looked at me wierdly. I don't know why. he was there in my room, we were alone, and the time reached post one pm. but then too, I didn't feel any fear. His gaze didn't frighten me, Instead, gave me the courage to ask him why he was staring me like this in my normal tone after these many things happened to me. 

"Nothing, Just wondering... You're strong from birth or you're acting... but you're actually strong, Yaar" he said in a Malayalam-English mixed tone. 

"What you mean?" i asked him when i didn't get his question. 

"You know you ranking first for the continuous three times in the simple mock tests and kavish scoring second rank for the continuous three times... You didn't notice that?" he asked me and made me think out of the box. 

"You're saying, he did everything for ranks," i asked him. 

"Men's ego can go to any extent If they got hurt," he said and made a valid point and i stay silent. 

"So, What are you thinking about tomorrow?" he asked me. I again had no answers to his questions. But he had a valid point but i didn't speak anything. 

"Surviving here as a single girl in the entire batch was not the easy thing, you survived almost every barrier, you just got slipped when you involved emotionally with him, but you didn't fell down... i hope you understand my point of view..." he said and shook me to the extent. For a second, He introduced me to myself which i thought i lost it forever. He left abruptly after saying this. 

Following morning i didn't know where i got the courage to come back to college, to come back to the classes and writing the mock test upto everyone's shock. But one person was smiling from the corner, i smiled at him back. I don't know why i am feeling this gaze will definitely going to follow me wherever i go. But i like it.  

Arushi couldn't read anything more than that, she looked at him after closing the diary with the thud. She had nothing to say to him, she knew what Avinash was trying but didn't speak anything. 

"Why you stopped reading, didi?" Avinash asked her with disappointment. Even though he could able to guess why she did that. 

"I already warned you avi... don't try these types of tricks with me, it won't work" - she said and stood up from the place. 

"Can you please say, What am i even trying?" - he asked in a bit cold tone. she looked at him and saw his pleading eyes which she couldn't tolerate.

"Forget it..." - she said and went towards the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of water. 

"I just asked you to read because i want you to know about mom... who is she?" - Words came out from Avinash's mouth which got Arashi's attention. 

"Is it? Avinash Nair... shoot, Whatever you want to say?" - she stood while crossing her arms. 

"First of all, It's Avinash bose nair... and you're hating her for no purpose in these years... i just want to change that, How long you could hate her? she's our mom for god sake" - Avinash spelt in anger. 

"For your kind information, Mr Avinash Bose Nair... I neither hate her nor love her, In fact, she had no place either in my heart or in my brain... I feel for her just the way you feel for dad" - she said. 

"But i respect him... Tell me did you respect mom?" - he asked. 

"You asking me these stupid questions because you didn't get abound by your mom... I overwent that... she left her two years old daughter... Whatever you're trying will not be possible in this life..."  - she said and turned back in the fury, Her leg got hurt in the table. Avinash rushed to her before she could yell in pain. He removed her sandals and rubbed her foot. 

"Paining..." - he asked her in a pity eyes. 

"Paining here more... i hate whenever we fight" - she said while pointing her finger to her heart. 

"But it's not only my mom's story... It's our parents story, don't we deserve to know what happened in their life?" - he asked her with pity eyes which was her weak point. 

"I can read the rest of the story for you, only if you help me in standing up" - she asked and he pulled her made her way towards the couch with the smiling face. She took the diary in her lap having no idea that this story will change her perspective entirely. 

**********

Place: Chennai. 

The entire evening went, But she still couldn't come out of his touch, their conversation, his first gift. the kerchief. she placed the kerchief in front of her table and stared at them with wide eyes. Their conversation played thousandth time in her mind even though she couldn't come out of it. Her family members misjudged her condition that she was in the state because she failed in her exams. 

She immediately paced back to normal when her father knocked on the door. she didn't face him in the fear he could read her mind and stop her from going to the tuition from the next day. 

"Exams won't decide our future, dear" her father caressed her hair and raised up her chin, made her look at him. 

"When did i say that, daddy? but he decides my future..." she thought but didn't speak. she knew if she does what will be the consequences. 

"We are not left with no options, right... we are having the re-exam in August..." - Her father caressed her cheeks. 

"I hope the re-exams are in December so that he could tutor me till then" - thinking that she passed the sad gaze. 

"Hey, Don't worry, i know about shivaay, he's sincere at everything whatever he takes... so i hope he will help you in clearing your tests..." - her father said while misjudging her facial reactions. 

"I hope he shows the same sincerity to my feelings and our upcoming relationship" - she thought. 

"Appa... Bless me..."- Anika touched his feet. 

"I will pray to god that you score good marks in the upcoming tests..." - Her father kissed her forehead merely misjudging for what she's asking his blessings. After feeding her the dinner, anika stopped him when he was about to leave. 

"Daddy, Will you wake me up by three-thiry in the next morning?" - she asked. Rather than nodding yes, Her father pinched him and made sure it was not his dream. 

"Mr Adithya Seshadri... you heard it right... could you wake me up? you know i couldn't trust alarms when it comes to life...  I trust you daddy... please wake me up by three-thirty in the morning..." - She asked, he nodded yes happily without knowing what she was mentioning life in this sentence. 

"Okay, From tomorrow, Your life is going to take a very beautiful turn...Ready for it..." - her father kissed her forehead and left. But she couldn't sleep for a whole night, Her heart started to jump whenever his smiling wink crossed her eyes. The blushes in her cheeks became constant. And the smile in her face regained the energy again and again whenever she plays the entire thing inside her mind. 

"Daddy is right, dear... From tomorrow, Your life going to take very beautiful turn..." she said to herself while placing the pillow above her face and buried her face. She felt like sleeping only for a few minutes. But her father woke her up at the very next second. 

"Appa, forget the time, i asked you to wake me up by Three-thirty..." - she said in a sleepy state.

"But the time is already 4..." - He told and she woke up in a jerk. And saw the time in the clock, It's already 4.10 AM.

TO BE CONTINUED.....