Tears were streaming down Ameena's eye as she staggered to her room. She fell on the floor, by the side of her bed and curled up into a fetal position.

Ever since his demise, she had managed to block the bitter memory from her thoughts and only dwell on the sweeter part of it. Saying his death out loud has taken her back to that faithful day...
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Five years ago

Its Sunday evening and she was in her worst element ( she was being difficult and refused to see reason). Her mom had done all that she could to no avail, even Deejah had tried in her own way.

She was seated Buddha style on the bed and numb by linkin park was blaring from the speakers in her room.

The sound of ya salims voice as he salamed, made her do an 180 degree turn. He lowered the volume before sitting by the side of her small bed. He smiled at her childish act, she is eighteen but acts like a twelve year old.

"Hey." He said while cocking his head in other to catch a glimpse of her face.

"I don't want to talk to you." She pouted

He sighed and clasped his hands together. If only she had the slightest idea how he felt about leaving her, she would have pitied him instead of acting difficult. The only consolation he felt was the fact that she will be there when he comes back.

"Okay, I won't force you to talk to me, but at least turn around, so I could say sorry. Or do you prefer I get on my knees?"

She jumped at that.

"No no no...please don't do that...don't make me feel worse than I already feel."

"Okay, if you don't want that, then you have to smile."

"How do you expect me to smile, when you are going to the end of the world?"

"Come on, I thought you only had problems with maths but it seems your geography is bad as well."

"I know Zurich is in Europe of course, but it could be the north pole for all I care."

"Its just for a year, maybe less, just until I could work out a transfer. I could get them to post me to the west and central African regional office in Ouagadougou."

"Ouaga-what?...now I know your plan had always been to leave me."

"Ameena, you know I will never leave you...this is just something I have to do. I will come back for you...I promise."

"Please do...you are the only friend I have." She said that while trying to hold back tears.

"Har yanzu bakiyi kawa a jami'an bane?" (Do you still not have a friend at the university?)

"I am afraid you will leave and not come back."

When she said that, they both knew it held a different meaning. Its confirmed her inner fears which is connected to her father. Ya salim ran a hand across his face. This is one of the things he hated in his life, seeing her in pain and not being able to do a thing about it.

"I will come back...you know I would...the bond that binds us transcends the Atlantic... You know that."

This is the first time she saw tears in her ya salims eye. Something' broke in her. For the first time since the news of his appointment at the IUCN headquarters in Zurich, she became the one doing the consoling instead of the consoled.

They talked until the Adhan for magrib was heard. He excused himself and promised to come back after isha.

That night, he came back and even helped her with studying for her test. They talk deep into the night before he left.

The next morning, she met him and most of her family members in the compound where the cars are parked. A lump stuck in her throat and she held back tears. She was sad she couldn't go with him to the airport because of the test.

He was looking extra dashing in an all black ensemble. She stood a great distance from him trying to act brave but when he flashed a dazzling smile at her direction, revealing his dimples and a perfect set of teeth, she didn't know when she ran to him and hugged him before her flood gates opened.

"Amma baki da kunya, don't you know that you are now grown up and its about time you stopped hugging him." Hajiya Adda scolded.

He stepped back and whispered that his mom was right. But he promised that after he is back, he will make it right and she can hug him all she want. She ask him if that was possible, to which he nodded, that seemed to cheer her up. She bade him goodbye and he wished her luck with her test.

A year later

Today is a special day as ya salim is on his way back, he had stopped in Abuja and is now on his way home.

Her joy knew no bound. She made his favourite dishes and made sure no one came within an inch of it. Her result was better than last sessions. She had put in a lot of effort which paid off with a 4.1 GPA. She had been calling him non stop to ask of his location.

He was almost home as he informed her he had passed Zaria.

A little while later, she heard her mom come in, she was talking rapidly on the phone. What caught her attention was the repeated sentence of inna lillahi was inna illaihir raji'un. She knew someone was in trouble.

"Mama what's wrong?" She inquired after her mom was done with the phone call.

Her mom stared at her before busting into tears using the helm of her hijab to close her face. This scared Ameena even more as she had never seen her mom like this. What her mom said next shattered her world.

"Salim had an accident..."

Her world came crashing, her mind was in tormoil, it took some time before what her mom said registered in her brain.

She didn't cry but rather became a silhouette of an emotionless statue. There was chaos in her head, her mind failed to connect with reality. With a robotic movement, she slumped on the floor and everything went blank.

By the time she came about, almost all of her family had left for the hospital except for adda Ai whose lap her head was resting. When she realized Amina had woken up, she quickly wipes the tears from her face and forced a smile.

She tried to sit up but was restrained by Adda Ai's firm hand. She urged her to sit still assuring her that he had been taken to Dala orthopedic hospital.

"The best thing we can all do for him is pray and trust in Allah."

He's alive...he's alive...she said repeatedly inside her head.

"I need to see him."

"Of course dear, we will be on our way soon enough. I just need to take some things."

The little hope she had, shattered into pieces as she walked into the hallway, when she saw the look on the faces of her family. Almost everybody was present. The women surrounded his mom and were giving her words of encouragement and urging her to pray and trust Allah. The men were also hurdled into groups.

She prayed, she prayed hard, she hoped because its the only thing she could do.

"Who among you is Ameena? A nurse inquired looking at the group of the older women. "The patient has requested her presence."

There was a look of confusion as all of them stared at her, she stood still not sure if she heard right. His father nodded at her to go in. She wanted to run to him but she was drained of all the energy in her.

She walked into the room making as little sound as she could afford. His closed eye fluttered open when she stood by the bed. The tears were flowing freely and she made no effort to stop it.

The part she could see were heavily bandaged. A dried clot of blood matted his curly hair. He moved his lips several times before he was able to force the words out.

"I came back as I promised...didn't I?"

She nodded and the tears continued

"If you keep crying...you will...only make me feel worse than I...am feeling already..."

"Tell me what else to do when I see you in this pain and I can do nothing?"

"Pray for me...pray for me when am gone..."

Now her sobbing was becoming louder. He tried to move his hand but it felt like its not his anymore, all he could manage was a twitch of his pinky finger. He wanted to tell her so much but he could feel his energy draining with every move he made. He was sad as he knew this was the end to the beautiful dream he always saw with her. He knew at that moment, that she was not his destiny.

"Tell me where it hurts and I will massage it for you."

"Everywhere hurts...but...my heart hurts the...most."

She sat down and held his hands while she cried.

"Pr...promise me...you will keep on being... The good girl I have... Always known you to be..."

"Ya salim please don't leave me...I will die if you do..."

"Don't say that...Allah knows best and am...sure he has something better in store for you...do not despair."

He closed his eyes and the only sound emanating was that of her cries and his labored breathing.

"Call my... parents"

"Okay...I will stay with you until you get better..don't give up now... please..."

He tried to smile but all he did was grunt.

"Call them in.."

She took one last look at him before she left. After his parent went in, she found a bench and isolated herself.

The sound of heavy footsteps could be heard as ya salman approached. He had been crying by the looks of his eyes. He was adviced to go in and see his brother.

A little while later, the sound of his moms cries could be heard. His father came out and said "Allah ya ma salim cikawa." This was followed by cries of inna lillahi was inna ilahir raji'un.

She had cried until she cried no more. From then on she became more detached than she was until Demi happened.
__________________________________

Ameena's mom walked in and found her curled beside the bed. She bend down and touched her forehead. She had a burning fever.

She picked her up and tucked her in bed.

"I will get something for you."

And with that she walked out leaving Ameena to dwell in mystery.

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