~Third Person's POV

As time flied like an eagle and the days passed with the speed of a thunderbolt, his hopelessness and depression started to accelerate rapidly.

Hope was the word unknown to him now. Mr. and Mrs. Shehroze were continuously insisting him to come back to Manchester and start a business, but being the most stubborn man on Earth, he refused to come back.

His search and his quest still did not end despite of being completely hopeless. There was still a voice in his head which kept on ringing like a bell, telling him that she was near. There was a sensation, a feeling which used to stir like a magic inside his soul whenever he used to look at the monstrous snowy peaks of the Northern areas. It made him feel closer to her although she was so far away. His heart insisted that she was near, but his mind always stated otherwise.

Most of his time was spent while exploring new valleys of Pakistan in search of Hooriyah.

A new month, meant a new city or a new province. He would spend hours and hours while driving along the roads of unknown places and cities and villages which were new for him, roaming here and there asking the residents about the girl by showing them the only picture he had. Sometimes he would get afraid by just thinking that whether she was alive or not. The thought of her leaving this world without giving him a chance to apologize and confess his feelings would be enough to drive him insane. And without any doubt, living with this fear since thirty six months was the biggest punishment for him and he had never imagined spending a life like this, full of pain, agony, fear and hopelessness ever before.

He used to laugh just by thinking that how the words 'hopelessness' , 'defeat' , 'fear' , 'pain' and 'depression' were unknown to Shahveer Ali Khan 3 years ago.

But life had definitely planned something else for him, for how he had treated his own life since 18 years, he really deserved to be punished like this. 

In fact, this was much less!

On the top of the list of his prayers would always be her life and her safety. He would begin his Duas with her name, and then seal them with the same name again.

He was tired.

Tired of waiting.

Tired of crying.

Tired of expecting.

And most importantly,

Tired of living!

Living with such a painful guilt was even worse than death itself. Sometimes he wished and prayed for death, but then her angelic face would appear in front of his eyes, making him want to live a bit more.

Just for another glance of her!

Just for the sake of drowning in the ocean of those magical eyes once again!

Just for the sake of pouring his heart out in front of her!

Time passed with a speed of thunderbolt and managed well to escape through his tightened fist, just like sand does. Millions of times, Amir had tried to convince him to move on but he was adamant on his decision. To distract himself from some of the miseries of his life, he had started attending few underprivileged villages to help some needy ones. He would visit a nearby village named as 'Bhuyu Village' twice a month and would distribute food, clothes, books and different types of necessities to the people and before leaving the village, it was his habit to give a huge amount of money as a Sadqah to an orphanage for the sake of her beloved Hooriyah's life and safety. 

This was perhaps the only way left through which he could feel a bit peaceful and hopeful that there was still some purpose of his life, left in this world. 

~Shahveer

Rustic cabins dotted the grassy hills as trees stood up like spikes, zigzagging the border of brick roads and unpolished homes while the river streamed through the deep valley. This sight was indeed a treat for sore eyes. I used to come here and sit by the river bank for hours, lost in my imaginations thinking about the possibilities which seemed to be merely a fantasy. I would bring her photo along with me and talk to her for hours while narrating the stories of my heart. This breezy, silver-plated and sparkling river was the only place where I could feel peaceful. 

I walked past the stony streets and finally reached where I was always found whenever I craved for solitude. I sat down by the river bank and started to stare at the beautiful valley which was clearly visible across the river. I took the photograph out and started talking to it like an insane man.

"Do you know Hooriyah, what brings me here everytime?" I caressed the photo.

"Its the tranquility, serenity and silence of this place which attracts me. Something which I had seen in your eyes and soul. How long have you planned to punish me like this my beloved? Don't you see my health. Its deteriorating! My heart is bleeding! Every inch of my skin is burning. But you don't see anything. You were so soft, so polite, then what happened to your heart? How all of a sudden it had turned so cold that it doesn't even want to witness the existence of someone whose love had been residing in it since eighteen years? Don't you feel pity for me? Can't you just stop torturing me like this for once?" 

A stream of tears fell from my swollen eyes like a waterfall on the photograph, thus wetting its corner.

And then like always, I started feeling her existence. It felt as if she was sitting beside me, caressing my hair and resting her head on my shoulders, listening to each and every word of mine while holding my hand.

"Please come back dear. I love you!" I barely whispered to which she smiled and lifted her head up.

"Observe your surroundings keenly my love. I am very near. You will always find me by your side Veer!" 

She smiled innocently and rested her head on my shoulder once again and I kissed her forehead with immense affection.

"I will find you soon. Very soon! In Sha Allah!"

I wiped my tears away as I looked at the dark grey horizon which was threatening a heavy downpour.

"HELLLLLPPPP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!" 

A deadly feminine scream entered my ears thus bursting that thin bubble of my imaginations. I immediately looked towards my right but Hooriyah was gone, like a dream, as always!

"For God's Sake someone please help!" Another scream make me jolt from my position as I stood up and ran towards the place where the voice was coming from.

The scream started to become clearer as soon as I entered the backyard of a nearby house which was open like every other house in this village.

There stood a woman, terrified, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"What happened sister?" I ran towards her and asked with nervousness.

"My brother! My brother has fallen inside the well! Please save him, he will die, please save him!" She joined her hands in front of me and cried mercilessly.

"Where is the well?" I asked.

"Please follow me!" Her voice wavered with pain.

I ran after her and within few seconds we had reached to our destination. I peeped inside the well where a little boy was shouting horribly while trying his best to not to drown but the level of water was already up to his nose.

"Mehr save me, please save me Mehr!" 

The boy kept on shouting while I started searching a rope or anything which could assist me in taking the boy out of the well.

" Is there any rope nearby?" I asked in hurry.

"Yeah I will bring it!" Replied the woman.

"Be quick!"

She immediately ran and within seconds, she came back with a long rope.

I tied the huge bucket, which was resting beside the well, with the rope and threw it inside.

"Get inside the bucket!" I shouted.

"I can't " The boy cried with helplessness.

"Yes you can, just get inside, then I am going to pull you upwards! " I tried to calm him down.

"Please Rafay, do as he is saying, for God's sake listen to him!" The woman shouted at her brother.

The boy tried to lift himself up as much as he could and held the bucket, trying to step inside it. It was large enough for him to come inside. After a horrible struggle of few minutes, he finally managed to get inside the bucket. I held the rope firmly and asked the woman to hold it from my back. Both of us pulled the rope as hard as we could, and thankfully, the bucket, due to the light weight of the boy, started to lift upwards. Had it been a healthy or a heavier person, it would be totally impossible to use this technique. We pulled the rope harder and harder , until it started to appear. I finally grabbed the bucket and helped the boy jump out of the bucket.

Thankfully, he was saved!

The boy cried innocently and immediately hugged her as she continued to kiss him and pour a waterfall of prayers upon me.

"May Allah grant each and every wish of yours . You don't know what you have done. You have saved my brother's life. He is the only one in my family. If he would have died today, there would be no one left in this world whom I could call mine. Thank you so much. May Allah grant all of your wishes. May Allah grant all of your wishes. Ameen!" 

She came forward and took my hand and kissed it, to which I felt a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps this was the practice of thanking someone followed by the people of this village.

"Ameen, Its okay, it was my responsibility sister. Make sure you don't send him to get water from the well alone next time!"  I patted on the boy's head.

"By the way, who are you? I come here a lot, but I haven't seen you both before!" I asked with curiosity.

"My name is Mehr-un-Nisa, and he is Rafay. Our parents died two years ago leaving us alone in this village with this cottage, a small land which we use to grow some vegetables and two cows for our living. He sells vegetables from our farm, and I sell milk for our living. That's how we are spending our life since two years." 

She smiled with pain.

"He is my everything. If he would have died, I myself would have jumped in the well too, because my life would have been meaningless then! " She wept.

"Don't say that again and again, no one's life is meaningless. Everyone is sent for some purpose in this world." I smiled.

"By the way, I am Shahveer, I live in Kalam Valley, just few meters away from this village. If you ever need any help, feel free to approach me. And take care of yourself and your brother." 

I smiled and left while she continued to stare at me with surprise, as if she had never seen a man like me in her village before.

Days passed by and I continued to explore different cities, just to come back empty handed. One day, I came back to my house after offering my prayers, when suddenly Amir came and hugged me tightly and patted my back with happiness.

"Shahveer, look someone had paid a visit today. You never told me that you saved a life of a boy few weeks ago? This is such a pious act my brother!" 

Amir smiled and led me towards the lounge where two familiar faces were sitting and smiling ear to ear as soon as their gazes landed upon me.

"Shahveer Bhayi!" The little boy, Rafay immediately stood up and ran towards me and hugged me while wrapping his little arms around me. I smiled and hugged him back.

"We came here for some work. Rafay insisted to pay a visit to you, so we brought this for you!" Mehr un Nisa came forwards and handed a beautiful box to me.

"What's this? "  I smiled.

"Its just a small gift from both of us. We wanted to thank you once again. Since words were not enough, we decided to make some 'besan k laddoo' for you. I hope you like them!" 

She smiled shyly while looking deeply into my eyes. Just the same way as I used to look into Hooriyah's eyes.

"Uh... There was no need to do this sister. Urr, why did you trouble yourself with all of this?" 

I hesitated while lowering my gaze as I tried to avoid looking in her eyes that were full of something which was hard to interpret.

"After whatever you have done, its nothing in front of it. Please take it." Mehr insisted.

"Of course he will take it. Who on Earth says no to besan k laddoo?" Amir laughed and took the box from her hand shamelessly ,opened it, and took one out and stuffed in his mouth.

"MMMMMMmmmmm, amazing! You are an amazing chef sister! " He chuckled while admiring the taste.

I took the box from him and gave him an angry look.

"Thank you so much for this kind gesture Mehr. I will take them. " I smiled.

"Now we should leave, its getting late!" Mehr excused.

"Not at all, how can you leave without having dinner? Guests don't leave our house without eating anything!" Amir insisted.

" No,,,actually,,,!" She hesitated.

"He's right Mehr, don't leave without having dinner with us. I'm sure Rafay would love this? Isn't it?" I smiled at the little boy.

"Yes ,yes" He jumped with ecstasy.

Still reluctant, she finally gave up and joined us to have a scrumptious dinner.

"Its too much late now. I think you should stay here for the night. You can live at our neighbor's house, she is the only lady in her house. Leaving at this time won't be safe!" I insisted.

At first she hesitated, but was finally convinced by Amir and me.

As the days continued to pass, I started receiving the same boxes of homemade sweets every week. It kind of started disturbing me as I was not expecting this to happen. On Amir's insistence, I wrote a letter of thanks to Mehr for all the homemade items which she had sent lately. 

What happened next was even more astonishing. She replied back to my letter and started writing letters to me frequently. I tried to ignore them as much as I could as I had started feeling something strange about her.

Frequent visits, frequent letters, frequent boxes!

And this continued for the next six months just due to my leniency. I did not know what she was up to, but a part of me was forcing me to stop her from doing all of this. Sometimes I thought that maybe she just wants to spend time with us while considering us as her brothers as she was lonely and wanted some company, but the other times, my mind stated otherwise. Sometimes, although it was hard to interpret, but it felt as if the situation had gone out of my control. There was a fear building inside my heart and I knew that yet again, I was consequently going to be the reason behind breaking a heart of another innocent soul, just because I had already given mine to someone else!

Upon discussing the matter with Amir, he suggested me to  ask her about her true intentions so that it could be clear what she wants. So without giving any second thought, few weeks later, I left for the village and decided to pay her a visit, trying my best to make it the last one and then never contact her again in any form.

What astonished me the most was that she was already waiting for me, dressed beautifully in a black colored traditional dress and all dolled up, making me feel a bit strange.

"You made me wait for so long!" Mehr-un-Nisa smiled while staring at me.

"Well, I am sorry!"  I lowered my gaze.

"So finally the day is here! The day for which I have been waiting since six months!" She chuckled.

I remained silent.

"I know the reason why you are here, and I think I also have the same reason!" She smiled innocently.

"Look, Mehr-un-Nisa, I came here to tell you that___"

"I know Shahveer! But please allow me to confess first!" She interrupted.

My eyes widened with horror. What was she going to confess?

"You have done a lot of favors for me and my brother throughout these months, financially, emotionally and mentally. I owe you a lot, though I have nothing to give you, except___"

She paused for a while.

"Except?" I asked nervously.

"Except my heart!" She replied shyly.

And this was perhaps the last thing I wanted to hear!

"I....I really like you Shahveer. You have been such a supportive and caring friend of mine that I couldn't resist and fall in love with you!" She added.

It felt as if my whole soul was shattering slowly and peacefully.

The history was going to repeat itself, once again and I was completely helpless!

"I know you like me too, and both of us need each other to spend a peaceful life!" 

She was so confident and that was something which was breaking me from inside.

"I...I really like you Shahveer! People like you don't exist in this world anymore. I am alone, helpless, I need you to spend a carefree life. I would be your shelter, your support and your everything. I really need you!" She continued to confess.

"Do you share the same feelings for me?"

I know I was doing the same mistake again. The mistake of breaking another heart. But this was important! I had to do this, before she starts dreaming a life full of fantasies with me, just like Hooriyah did.

"Do you love me, Shahveer?" Asked Mehr, once again

I tightened my fist as my body trembled with fear. After a huge silence, I finally mustered up some courage to speak.

"No, Mehr!" 

I lowered my gaze as I did not want to see those painful eyes, which reminded me of those angelic hazel brown teary eyes at the night of that dreadful humiliation.

"You are wrong! I don't share the same feelings although I respect yours. But I came here to tell you that I don't want to continue any sort of contact with you anymore!"

Her eyes widened with horror.

"But...But why? Give me one reason?" She sobbed innocently.

"Its not that I don't like you. You are beautiful, caring, loving and pious. You deserve a much much better person than me. I am nothing in front of you. You deserve a strong man, I am the most weakest man on this Earth with the most dirtiest past of all. You are extremely pious, but I am the man with an extremely sinful past. You are the most precious soul I have ever met Mehr, but I'm afraid that I am not the one who is destined to be with you!" 

I added.

She continued to weep silently.

After a silence of few minutes which was extremely tormenting, she finally began to mumble.

"Then who is destined to be with you?" She asked innocently.

I paused for a while as my heart broke into millions of pieces. 

Only if she really was!

I gathered up some courage but it felt as if the words were stuck inside my throat creating a huge painful lump which was unable to be swallowed. Why was it always difficult to say her name?

Maybe because it always brought a huge storm of guilt and pain along with it. An excruciating pain which ran throughout my body. It wasn't merely a name, it was a bitter reality which I had to face every morning, every night. It was the evidence of the fact that how trashy , useless, pathetic and unworthy my life was!

"Who is she Shahveer? Who is the one living in your heart? Somewhere where I had always prayed to live!" She asked again and again.

After a long pause, I looked straight in her teary eyes and introduced her to the one who was the most precious fragment of my soul since years.

"Hooriyah Jahangir Khan!" A lonely tear escaped my eyes as I barely whispered and took her photograph out from my pocket and showed it to Mehr-un-Nisa.

"Who is she?" She asked painfully.

"Who is she?" I questioned to myself and started to laugh while hiding that deadly venom which was boiling inside my heart.

"She is my Hoor! And I love her more than anyone else!"

I replied without hesitation to which her eyes moistened with pain.

"I never knew that the one who was living in my heart since six months also had someone else living in his own?" Her voice cracked with pain.

"Yes" I nodded.

"Since when?" She cried.

"Since four years!" My voice cracked for the first time.

"She is really beautiful. Her eyes are telling that she had also loved you!" Mehr smiled while looking at the photograph.

Those words were enough to tear my flesh apart. Allah had given me Hoor's love without even asking for it and still I did not respect it. Everyone was able to read and understand the love in her eyes for me, except the one whom she loved the most. How did I fail to respect and understand those beautiful emotions in her eyes? HOW??

"Where is she now?" Asked Mehr, brokenheartedly.

I gave a long sighed of grief.

"Where is she? I wish I knew the answer." I laughed to my self like a silly mad guy.

She watched me with amazement,

"What do you mean?" She asked with astonishment.

"The love which you had just seen in her eyes, I did not respect it!" I looked at the photograph with grief.

Her eyes widened with horror.

"Shahveer!" She looked at me with pale emotions.

"What did you do to her?" She asked in a complaining way.

"I disrespected her, humiliated her, destroyed her soul and damaged it beyond repair!" I stared at her blankly, without any emotion.

She shook her head with disbelief.

"Its been four years since I have realized my mistake and I have been searching for her since then. But she is nowhere to be seen, except for my dreams! She only appears in my dreams!" 

I pursed my lips to avoid crying in front of Mehr.

She remained silent as she wept while looking at the photograph again and again.

"Its getting really hard to live without her and if it continues like this, I think I may die soon. Do you want to spend a life with a person who is completely useless, shameless, heartless and ruthless? Do you want to waste your life after someone who doesn't even know if he is going to live much long or not?"  

I asked her politely.

"Throughout these months, I always used to think that why were you so silent. Why were you so reserve, what had happened to you that you failed to express your feelings and emotions in front of anyone else. What sort of pain was hiding inside you that did not let you laugh or enjoy your life to the full. But now,  I have known. I have known the answer of all of my questions!" 

She smiled beautifully.

"So this is the pain you were hiding from the world!" She gave the photograph back to me.

I nodded without saying anything else.

"She is very lucky to be loved by a person like you! You will find her soon." She wiped her tears.

I smiled painfully.

"I have lost all the hopes now!" I mumbled.

"But why?" She looked at me symapthetically.

" The girl for whom I kept on giving Sadqah to the orphanages, poor and the needy ones,  I don't even now if she is alive or not, Mehr!" 

And this was the first time I broke in front of her and a storm of tears cascaded down my cheeks like a burning hot lava, tearing my flesh apart. 

Her eyes widened with horror as she stared at my broken state. She had never seen me like this before. It was perhaps the most unexpected thing for her.

"Shahveer, what are you saying?" She cried innocently as she came closer, trying to console me.

"Four years, Mehr, It's been four years! In these four years, I have found everything. I have found my Rab, Allah. I have found myself! I have found a true companion. I have found the guidance. I have found the purpose of my life! I have found everything except for the one whose face I am longing to see since four years. I have cried days and nights. I have prayed Tahajjud, I have fasted, I have prayed nawafils just to get her back, but my prayers are simply not being answered. Does it mean that she is no more? Does it mean that she has left me without even showing a single glance of her face to me? Does it mean that the purpose of my life has ended. How can it take so long for Allah to fulfill a prayer. He can do anything. Then why isn't he listening to me. I know I have done a huge sin, but I want to rectify my mistake. But why is HE not listening to me? Does it mean that Hooriyah has died? Does it mean that I simply can't find her because she is no more in this world? Does it mean that she has left me for eternity?"

I continued to cry mercilessly while Mehr shook her head in disagreement. 

"No Shahveer, don't think like that! She is alive, she is not dead!" Mehr tried to console me.

"Then why is she not coming back to me?" I cried with pain.

"Because Allah is testing you. He wants you to succeed in this test, after which you are surely going to get your reward!" She added.

"My prayers are simply not being accepted due to the huge pile of sins which I have committed in my past!" I wept harder.

"I know a place where all of the wishes are granted. Its my wish to go there since childhood but I couldn't go because of my responsibilities. But I will take you there. I have heard that lots of people come there with the deepest desires of their heart and never leave empty handed." She tried to give me a hope.

"Which place are you talking about?" I asked desparately.

"It's a four hours long drive from Kalam to Kumrat. There is Shrine og Pir Shah Ahmad Jillani, its a very blessed place. All sort of wishes are granted there. I really want you to come there with me. After that,  I promise that I will never meet you again!" She smiled painfully.

"I don't believe in shrines." I replied her with annoyance.

"Consider it as my only wish Shahveer. That's the only thing I'm going to ask from you. After that, I will never ask for anything again." She asked innocently.

After some hesitation, I agreed and both of us stood up to leave for the valley of Kumrat!

Perhaps the only place left in Pakistan which I had neither listened about before, nor visited yet throughout these four years!