2. Fear Of Rejection
~Hooriyah
Another loud thunderous burst could be heard threatening a dangerous downpour once again.
This weather was going to take my life any second! I was falling in love with this soothing sound of blissful rain.
This magic spell was unbreakable indeed.
But some things are meant to be broken! So was my trance.
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"Shehroze Ali Khan! I don't believe my ears, you are coming back to Pakistan today!"
Baba rubbed his temples with excitement while a great sparkle of happiness danced through his weak eyes.
It seemed as if he was going to start dancing with joy any second.
I stood there frozen.
Emotionless.
Speechless.
They were coming back.
He was coming back.
After 18 years!
"Alizeh is getting married? MashaAllah, MashaAllah! Why not? Of course we will attend the wedding, after all its our princess's big day!"
Baba laughed once again.
Alizeh was getting married?
This was the most beautiful news of my life.
My childhood best buddy was getting married.
She grew up so fast, indeed.
"Hoor, Alizeh wants to talk to you, come quickly!" Baba chirped with excitement.
"Ehm ehm!" Iman teased while earning a harsh punch from me on her arm.
" Assalam u alaikum Alizeh!" I stammered.
There was pin drop silence on the other end which made me feel curious.
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"Hoo-ooooo-riiiiii-yaaaaaaaaah"
Alizeh yelled at the top of her lungs making me jump from my position.
Her extremely deafening voice was enough to completely damage my ear drum.
"My love!!! How are you my jaaaaaaan, my munchkin, my muffin my gulab jamun, my chumchum, my snowball, my barbieeeeeeeee"
She blessed me with as many beautiful names as possible.
I chuckled.
She was stupid.
"I am absolutely fine dear. Congratulations my dove! My princess is getting married? You know This is the most blissful morning of my life, which started with the best news ever! Who's the lucky guy by the way?" I laughed.
"My childhood sweetheart of course! He was with me since grade four. Currently living in Dubai!" She giggled shyly.
"Awww! Yallah habibi! A perfect fairytale indeed." I teased.
"Not as perfect as yours Hoor!" She fired back.
I gasped with horror while a shiver ran down my spine.
I could feel her smirking on the other end.
She was always a pro at teasing me.
After a silence of complete two minutes, I mustered up some courage to murmur.
"Shut up witch! When is your wedding?"
I gritted my teeth with anger but managed well to smile while looking at my father who was already looking back at me.
"16th of November, only two weeks are left. And I am sending my driver at your place in a day or two, to pick you up. Because I want to spend each and every single damn day with you before I fly off to Dubai with my future husband!"
Now this was quite difficult!
"But..."
"No ifs and buts! You can go back with your parents when they come to attend the wedding on 16th. Besides, if you won't listen to me, then I'm afraid I have to send Shahveer Bhai to pick ......."
"NOT.................AT................... ALL!"
I shouted spontaneously .
There was a burst of laughter on the other side of the phone.
"Why do you do this Alizeh?" I almost whispered.
I quickly covered the situation before realizing that everyone was staring at me.
"Okay then, I am going to send Bhai!"
She was stubborn as hell!
"Uh... Ha Ha Ha.... I was joking dear! No need to do this my princess, you can send your driver. I will try my best!" I blurted out abruptly.
"OKAY???" I was clearly helpless.
I was gritting my teeth with immense anger while she was laughing hysterically.
Don't know what the hell made me say that.
Maybe just to avoid the fear of facing him after 18 years.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! See you soon then! My soon to be BHABI" She laughed out loud and ended the call.
I stared at the receiver with horror in my eyes.
My cheeks were burning with embarrassment.
She said that so easily.
She doesn't even think before speaking.
Idiot!
Baba was really happy. After all his childhood buddy was coming back to Pakistan with his family.
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Shehroze Ali Khan was a well known business man who lived in Lahore 18 years ago. He used to visit us every month with his absolutely charming wife, and two children. Shahveer , the elder one and Alizeh, who was four years younger than him.
The bond between our families was stronger than anything in this world.
He was the one who helped my father in his financial crisis when we were about to sell our house and become homeless.
He was the one who arranged a job for my father in a school as a professor near the outskirts of Murree.
He used to call me his second daughter and buy uncountable gifts for me and Iman.
He was an angel in disguise, and maybe the only reason my father was alive and survived a heart attack when I was fifteen. He came all the way from Manchester to Pakistan to visit Baba and admit him in an expensive private hospital.
He was the one who paid all of his hospital bills.
After Baba, he was my SUPERHERO!
Second only to my father!
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Hours passed by, as I started packing few formal clothes for the wedding along with some casual ones.
Someone knocked the door. I turned to have a glance at the figure smiling beautifully at me.
"Excited?" A soft melodious voice made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
"Not exactly." I murmured while winking at my little angel.
"Afraid?"
"To some extent!"
"From what?"
I paused for few seconds as if searching for an answer which was hidden under the deepest and the darkest ocean of my heart.
"I ........
I don't know. "
I paused.
"Maybe from.......from something..... I don't want to regret about .....later!"
I stammered while smiling weakly.
"Regret?" Iman asked with immense curiosity.
"You see? There is a tiny seed of fear growing inside my heart. A fear that resides here since 18 years. " I pointed towards my heart.
My smile started to fade gradually as tears started to brim in my eyes.
"A fear of rejection!" I added
Iman shook her head with disappointment. She hugged me tightly and came forward looking directly at my hazel brown eyes which were glittering with unwanted tears.
She asked me to sit on the bed and started caressing my cheeks as if I was younger and she was elder.
"Your heart is a chamber of jewels Hoor! "
The softness in her whisper was far greater than that of a feather.
"And the person who lives in this beautiful chamber, is undoubtedly the luckiest person alive on this planet." Her eyes twinkled with joy.
I smiled shyly as my cheeks turned crimson.
"Never let anyone dull your shine sis! Your shine is everlasting. Your heart is the purest. Your soul is the prettiest."
I chuckled. What an inspiration she was for me!
" I have seen you crying on the prayer mat since 18 years Hoor."
Now I didn't expect her to say this.
"I have seen you waking up for tahajjud every single day since a decade."
I gasped with horror. How did she know?
"I have seen you praying day and night for the one who resides in this silly yet golden heart of yours."
Speechless, I was!
"I have seen you always putting him before you.
Instead of praying for yourself, you always prayed for him."
It was getting difficult to maintain an eye contact with her.
"Then why do you fear rejection dear?"
I stared her blankly.
"Why would Allah return you empty handed? He witnessed you day and night. He witnessed your every single tear shed for the longing in your heart to meet him."
I gulped a lump of fear building inside my throat.
"Why would He ever take something away from you which you crave for, so dearly?" She kissed my forehead.
It seemed as if someone had lit the candle of hope for me.
As if someone had cast a spell of expectations on my heart.
As if someone had wiped my tears of fear and turned them into the tears of joy and satisfaction!
"You are an angel Iman!" I chuckled.
"You know what sis? It's my biggest desire to see you both together since I don't know when. I mean just imagine!
You both would make such a beautiful couple. Hayeeeee!!!"
She giggled while cupping her cheeks with awe.
"Stop watching those silly Bollywood movies Iman! You have lost your senses!" I pinched her nose.
"What about DDLJ? Wasn't it your favorite too? I still remember how you used to fancy it!" She smirked.
"Old times, they were!" I shook my head while trying to hide my embarrassment.
"O really Simran? " She chuckled while earning a deathly glare from me.
"Dear Simran! Make sure you win your Raj's heart when you come back! You definitely have to win something which was always meant to be yours! !"
She winked as she had already expected a tight punch from me.
"Jaa simran Jaa, Jee ley apni zindagi!" This time, she burst into a laughter.
I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheeks. She was my princess. I couldn't have imagined my life without my gummy bear!
"Goodnight sistaaah!" She feigned her favorite British accent while yawning and jumped to her bed like a monkey
I laughed while shaking my head.
She was my mentor. I knew she would be always there by my side through every thick and thin of my life. She would fight away every calamity just to make sure that her elder sister doesn't have to face any sorrow.
She was my motivation! My inspiration! The one who knew each and every single deepest desires of my heart!
She was magic!
We do fight alot! But can't live without each other.
I was her Tom, and she was my Jerry!
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I hurriedly stuffed my clothes in the suitcase as it was 2 a.m already. The driver was expected to arrive at 8 in the morning.
Just when I was about to close it, I stopped while looking towards my bookshelf where a beautiful antique frame rested.
Smiling while glancing at the innocent memorable picture, I quickly grabbed it from my shelf, caressed it with the back of my hand and at last, carefully kept it along with my clothes in the suitcase and zipped it off.
Sluggishly, I laid down on my bed expecting a peaceful slumber. But my sleep had already gone for good. My eyes were wide open.
Imagining things that were going to take place tomorrow, I started feeling nervous.
The wait of 18 years was finally going to end. The distances were going to decrease now. The face I was yearning to see since 18 years was going to appear before me and that too just within few hours. The voice my heart craved to listen, was soon going to be heard within few hours.
Clock was ticking dangerously, making my heart beat go wild.
Seconds turned into minutes.
Minutes turned into hours.
The wait was finally getting over.
The hopes were rising high.
The heart wished to dance with joy once again.
The heart wished to sing a song once again.
The heart wished to fly along the beautiful horizon once again!
The heart wished to relish the childhood memories once again!
Amidst my imaginations, the screen of my mobile blinked as a message popped out of nowhere from an unknown number.
Can't wait to see my munchkin tomorrow!
With lots of love,
Alizeh :-)
I smiled while trying to close my eyes waiting for the sleep to kiss me a sweet goodnight.
Slowly and gradually my eyelashes started to drown allowing me to surrender myself to the magic of a deep slumber.
The clock started to tick faster than before, as if trying to synchronize with the rhythm of my ferocious heart beat.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x--x-x-x-x
TICK!
TOCK!
TICK!
TOCK!
TICK!
TOCK!
The hopeless nights were going to transform into the magical hues of blissful mornings.
The wait of eighteen years, three months and twenty four days, was soon going to end in few hours!
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