~Lahore, Punjab~

~Shahveer

I kept on staring at her with my tired and glistening olive green eyes as she sat on her bed, silently watching her henna-filled hands with her moist gloomy eyes which were perfectly identical to mine.

She looked extremely gorgeous tonight and why wouldn't she?

She was the most beautiful angel of my life.

She was all dolled up in an elegant off white and peach lehnga as her friends gave her a final touch and began to leave the room.

I continued to watch my beloved sister who was going to leave me tonight. My heart was aching, but I, being the most stubborn of all, feared to express my painful feelings in front of anyone.

She was leaving for Dubai tonight after her rukhsati and I hadn't prepared myself yet to encounter this reality. The realization of the fact that she would be leaving me so soon, created so much desperation in my heart.

Alizeh was a piece of my heart and watching her sit like this gloomily made my heart ache more after every passing second.

She continued to watch her henna filled hands until a stream of tears escaped her beautiful eyes and fell on her delicate palms because of which, I finally decided to interrupt her deep thoughts with my overburdened existence which she had chosen to ignore since last night!

"Save some tears of yours, for the rukhsati dear!" I smiled as I came forward and sat in front of her, on her bed but she didn't move an inch, nor was she amazed to notice my presence!

But why?

Why was I being given this special treatment by her since last night?

"Alizeh?" I lifted her head up, only to see her tear stained face.

She remained silent.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked again as her gaze was still fixed on her palms.

After remaining silent for few more seconds, she finally opened her mouth to say something which pathetically shook my soul to the core.

"This henna was supposed to be applied by someone else, today!"
She sobbed innocently as she showed me her hands like a child.

"She promised me, that she will apply henna on my hands for my wedding!"

Her gaze finally met mine, which was drenched with a rainfall of complains
and disappointment.

I remained silent as I feared to ask that who was she talking about.

"She said that she would make me get ready and would do my make-up, help me in wearing my jewelry and make a beautiful hair bun out of my long silky black hair." She smiled as another tear escaped her eyes.

I looked at her with perplexity as an almost nonexistent layer of guilt started to spread throughout my soul.

"She said that she would walk me along the aisle and will lift up my lehnga so that I could walk easily towards the stage!"

Alizeh whispered painfully as she eyed me with disgust and hatred.

And her cold whisper was enough to create a huge crack in my heart.

"She promised me that she would kiss me on my forehead and will bless me with lots of prayers when I will sit in the car which will take me to the airport!" She started laughing.

My heart started racing faster and faster as her piercing gaze met mine, asking me something for which I didn't have any answer!

After a brief moment of silence, I finally mustered up some courage to ask her, although I already knew who was she talking about.

"Who was she?" I stammered.

She remained silent as she watched me with anger and disappointment.

"She was my other half! My Hooriyah!" Her voice cracked again.

I could easily hear my heart sink down into my stomach as a storm of guilt started to envelope me.

"She was my other half Bhayi! And you destroyed that other half of mine!" She whispered while slowly ripping the heart out of my chest.

"Listen to me Alizeh! Please listen to your brother!" I tried to come up with an excuse.

"I DON'T FUCKING HAVE ANY BROTHER!" She shouted as loudly as she could.

Unintentionally, some tears dwelled up in my eyes.

"You are swearing at your elder brother Alizeh?" I almost whispered, looking at her with shock!

"I SAID THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY BROTHER ! MY BROTHER DIED THE NIGHT WHEN HE RUINED MY BELOVED SISTER-LIKE FRIEND'S REPUTATION IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF TRASHY PEOPLE!"
She immediately stood and continued to shout at me wildly as I gasped her with horror.

"Alizeh please listen to me!" I begged again.

"Allah had Himself sent an angel of Paradise, a Hoor, in your life, and you crushed her under your own feet? DO YOU FEEL ASHAMED?" She glared me with her anger filled eyes.

I came forward and tried to calm her down but she pushed me with full force and barked again,

"GET LOST! I HATE YOU! YOU DESERVE HELL! SHE WAS STUPID THAT SHE LOVED AN ANIMAL LIKE YOU!"

"OKAY FINE!" I shouted back at her as I couldn't take anymore.

Each and every word of hers was acting like a dagger thrown towards my heart.

"FINE, I am an animal! But who the hell was she? What have you seen in her which I had failed to notice? What the hell had she done for you that you are fighting with your brother who had served you for twenty years. You are fighting with me just because of that silly girl? What has she ever done for you? What have you seen in her, Alizeh?" I shouted at her as she stared at me with shock and disgust.

"I thought that you would be embarrassed. But you are disgusting!" She cried.

I remained silent.

"Do you wanna know that what have I seen in her?" She asked.

I remained silent.

"Then when you go back to Manchester, kindly pay a visit to the attic in our house and open those old boxes. You will find a bunch of letters which she used to send you throughout these 18 years which you didn't eve bother to open once!"

I gasped her with horror.

"You wanna know what I have seen in her? Then go and ask Mom and Dad that how she fainted at that night and got her consciousness back only when she was given dozens of injections and drips!"

My eyes widened with shock.

"She fainted?" I asked in a voice which could be barely heard.

"Yes! She fainted that night when you humiliated her self respect, dignity and honor because of which she had to leave the very next day, without even attending her best friend's wedding! Just because of YOU!"

She shook her head with disappointment.

"You have given so much pain to that poor soul! You have done a damage beyond repair Shahveer! You have done a damage beyond repair!"

I kept on listening to her silently, as I felt my senses getting numb after every passing second. Guilt started to spread throughout my veins like a snake's venom.

Suddenly a knock on the door made both of us jolt from our positions.

"The bride has been called downstairs!" Few girls chirped from the other side of the door.

Alizeh quickly wiped her tears off and turned to leave.

"Alizeh, please don't hate me!" I finally spoke out.

She slowly turned and looked at me with disappointment.

"I hate you, and always will! And the least I would miss in Dubai, would be you!" She finally turned to leave the room as my head spun wildly.

I slowly sat on the bed as I tried to get back into my senses.

x-x-x-x-x

"I love you Shahveer, I really love you!
You have completely destroyed my heart. It's so hard to think about anything but you! You are on my mind 24/7 and it hurts! It really hurts that how much I love you and still you failed to notice that throughout these eighteen years."

x-x-x-x-x

A storm of words started to quarrel across my mind as I held my head with my hands trying my best to remain in my senses as I feared loosing some of them!

x-x-x-x-x

The farmhouse was flawlessly glimmering with elegance and magnificence as the chandeliers danced and the long bails of roses flaunted exquisitely, leaving all of its admirers in awe and captivation.
Some were busy dancing on the Bollywood songs while some were busy striking poses to get flawless photographs. The rest were busy in enjoying the dinner or drinks. Despite of so much resplendence and a bunch of cool friends by my side, I failed to entertain myself in any form. All I wanted was to leave this place and go back to where I had came from. This city had started haunting me. Pakistan was haunting me!

All I wanted was a distraction!

Maybe smoking would help. Or a bottle of champagne?

"I hope it works!" I murmured to myself as I left the hall.

I slowly walked towards the backyard of the farmhouse and took out a bottle from my car and gulped it down my throat within five seconds. My mind started to spin wildly as I tried to maintain my balance by resting my back at the trunk of my car. A sudden nauseous feeling started to dance throughout my oesophagus making me want to vomit this instant. Trying to avoid this feeling, I grabbed another bottle and gulped it in the same usual way, only to experience another layer of nausea.
My eyes started turning red due to the heavy amount of alcohol consumption as I started walking towards my room, unaware of where my tracks were leading me to.
I almost stumbled upon the stairs as I tried to maintain my balance but luckily survived from falling down. It was getting unbearable! This sickness was spreading across my body like a venom, deteriorating my condition after every passing second.

I immediately walked towards the bathroom as it was being uncontrollable. I burst open the door and threw out all the contents as I continued to vomit like a psychopath. I had never felt this much nauseous before but God knows what was happening right now.

I started feeling numb and weak just when a pool of blood gushed through my mouth as I vomited again and again. I gasped the blood stained sink with horror.

x-x-x

"May you suffer through the same pain which you had given to me tonight!"

x-x-x

The words rang like a bell in my head as I tightened my grip around the sink while staring at myself in the mirror.
I looked horrible!

Red eyes, bloodstained lips, pale yellow face and a badly trembling body! I stared at myself with disgust as her voice kept on ringing in my head, irritating the shit out of me!

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

I shouted as loudly as I could and picked up a vase which was lying nearby and threw it on the mirror with full force!

What was happening to me?

"JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I shouted as I tried to stop the voices from ringing in my head.

"Shahveer? Shahveer where are you?" A familiar voice tried to bring me back to my senses.

"Shahveer?" Mom pushed the door open and entered in the bathroom where I had already broken the mirror.

"What the hell are you doing here Shahveer? What happened?" She asked with shock as she looked at the broken vase and mirror.

I remained silent as I washed my face with icy cold water.

"Answer me Shahveer! What are you doing here?" She asked angrily.

"I....I wasn't feeling well!" I stammered.

"And why have you done this?" She asked while pointing towards the mirror.

"Just leave me alone Mom!" I begged politely.

"Everyone's waiting for you downstairs! Alizeh is leaving with her in laws, don't you want to say her goodbye?" She asked.

"I'll be there in a moment!" I replied weakly.

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As the darkness of the starry night enveloped her in its blissful hues, she quietly walked towards the car and hugged her cousins and relatives as they kissed her forehead and blessed her with prayers. I made my way out through the crowd as I walked towards my family and joined them.

She was crying like a small girl, miserably melting my heart away! Then she came towards Mom and Dad who were silently weeping. She hugged them one by one and collected a bundle of prayers from them. I came forward and opened my arms to envelope her in my final embrace, only to experience her torture and disappointment filled gazes in return, as she turned to sit in the car without even hugging her one and only brother and saying him goodbye!

And it was enough to tear my flesh apart as she turned her complaining gazes away from me and sat in the car which was ready to take her far....far....and faaaaaaaaar away from me!

x-x-x-x

As I was busy in packing my luggage, Khan Baba knocked at my door, making me feel annoyed.

"Yes?" I asked in a disrespectful manner.

"Chotey Sahb, I was requested by someone to give this letter to you, kindly read it when you get time."

He informed me innocently.

"Place it on my desk, I will read it later!"

I closed the zip of my bag as I instructed him without even looking at the letter or asking him that who gave it.

He quietly placed the letter on the desk and left.

Thankfully within the next ten minutes, my whole packing was completed. I ordered one of the servants to take my luggage and load it into the car as I prepared myself to leave for Manchester.

Luckily, I was leaving for Manchester alone as Mom and Dad had to cancel their flights last night due to the death of a close friend of Dad, which I didn't even bother asking, as it was my least concern.

My biggest priority was going back to England as I had to complete lots of unfinished tasks related to my career.

But perhaps the person who had died last night was really close to Dad, as he was continuously crying after he was informed on the phone, after which, he immediately left to attend the funeral, with Mom.

After having a brief glance in the mirror I applied a strong cologne, styled my hair a bit, wore my black leather jacket and finally walked out of my room, totally forgetting about the peacefully resting letter on my desk, which was destined to be opened ......

JUST FIVE PAINFUL MONTHS LATER!

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~4 months later, March 2015, Manchester, England~

Seconds passed into minutes.

Minutes passed into hours.

Hours into days.

Days into weeks.

&

Weeks into months!

It had already been four months since I had been here in Manchester, trying to cope up with my busy mornings and restless and sleepless nights. I was about to finish my Masters in the coming week and after the graduation, I had to leave for California, in order to start my very own business. I had planned about my life a lot lately and was trying to working hard to achieve my goals, although I failed to do so.

What I failed to notice was the restlessness and desperation which started to increase day by day inside my mind. The more I wanted to stay calm and peaceful, the more I found myself covered under the blanket of anxiety and depression. I was getting weaker day by day due to the reason which was unknown to me.

My nights were slowly converting into the sleepless one as some unexplainable nightmares had already started to ruin my almost nonexistent peace. I had already started taking pills and injections to calm down my nerves, only to get insane day by day. I had doubled my alcoholic consumption and would drink twice a day unlike before. Although I had minimized visiting the night bars and the clubs as human interaction had started to make me feel extremely annoyed but it still didn't work. I had stopped meeting my friends and had almost restricted myself in my own chamber where I used to smoke, drink or sometimes study day and night. I had no fixed routine. Sometimes I used to sleep for straight 24 hours, while the other times, I used to stay awake for straight 48 hours.

I don't know why it was happening and why was it affecting my life so much? All I knew was that it had all started since I went to Pakistan.
I shouldn't have gone there at first place! Since I had came back, there wasn't a single day when I could feel happy or ecstatic as I used to, before Alizeh's wedding. My sister hadn't even called me or attended mine for once in these four months. Life was getting complicated day by day and all I wanted was peace, which kept on drastically reducing day by day. I seriously needed some proper medications as I could feel being haunted by someone day and night. Someone who used to create lots of chaos in my heart.

Maybe they were hallucinations, but it could be the result of overdrinking.

All I knew was that if this desperation didn't end soon, I would end up in a mental hospital by the end of this year as this depression was killing me from inside. I needed someone to talk to me, comfort me, listen to me!

But my sister had already left me and I was all alone. This loneliness was causing lots of troubles inside my heart. I tried my best to distract myself through studies, music and alcohol, but nothing was working out fine. I had never experienced this phase of restlessness before in my life.

There was something which I was failing to realize, or maybe intentionally wanted to avoid realizing it!

And it was the feeling of a huge mistake.

A huge mistake from my past which I tried my best to never recall again as it used to drive me insane and haunt me like a ghost who waits to suck someone's soul out, any second!

x-x-x-x-x

Little did he know that every mistake deserves a punishment! And the mistake which he had done was unforgivable!

And maybe it was just the beginning!

It was just a trailer!

The whole movie was yet to be watched!

After all, how could the curses of an innocent soul go in vain? They deserved to be fulfilled as the prayers of the oppressed are never underestimated by the One Who is the Best Judge and Only He is the One Who truly knows how to do Justice!

And His Justice, was soon to be revealed in front of Shahveer!