Past..

Niyati turned off the TV and threw the remote on the sofa. The house felt too quiet without Nidhi, and she was sick and tired of watching the news about how much snowfall Baltimore was in for tonight. Her eyes fell on the gleaming one karat diamond on her ring finger, and she sighed, understanding her sudden restlessness.

Two weeks.

It's been two weeks since he placed the ring on her finger and it still felt like a dream to her. She couldn't believe how quickly things had moved once she agreed to the marriage proposal that had been placed to her grandmother by Varun's parents but more than that she couldn't believe that he agreed to the proposal.

Even though he had mellowed towards her in the past three years, especially in the past year, she never thought he would reciprocate her feelings. He hasn't said he loved her, but the way he treats her now is very different from the indifference that he treated her with, in that first year, after they met. She had managed to tease him out of his somber and serious attitude, but she was still having a hard time accepting the fact that he is willing to marry her.

She knew the reason for her disbelief is because he continues to holds back from her even after the official proposal. Now that they are engaged she did not know how to behave with him. She was elated that she is going to marry the love of her life but his continued distance from her is a source of worry for her, and that is the reason she hasn't shared any personal details about her life with him.

She leaned against the window and watched the falling snow as she attempted to sort out her feelings. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt something was off with Varun's behavior. He had been attentive and even affectionate at their first official date, but she still felt unsure of things between them.

The attraction between them was still hot and heavy, and he had even given her a brief but amazing kiss at the end of their date but.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the loud knock at the front door. She frowned, who would be knocking her door this late? She thought about ignoring it but thought may be one of her neighbors might need help since it is snowing outside, so she opened the door and gasped when she saw Varun on her doorstep with blood stained clothes looking lost as never before.

Varun did not know what had made him drive to the one destination he had been trying to avoid for the past two weeks. Ever since the official date and the proposal he had been avoiding being alone with her but tonight the only person that could bring him peace is the angel standing in front of him with a confused and worried look on her face.

He knew that this is the last place he should be in considering his state of mind at the moment, but for once he wanted to let go of everything and lose himself in her. He knew she would be the only one who would be able to sooth his pain and clear his confusion that he was feeling after the events of the night. He opened his mouth to speak, but she pulled on his hand to bring him into the house. He was immediately warmed by her touch and her home.

She asked no question as she walked him to her room and gave him a towel, "Go freshen up while I go get you something to eat." She left him in the room before he could say anything. He decided there was plenty of time for explanation and did as she instructed.

Niyati waited outside her bedroom door until she heard the shower in her bathroom come on. She eased the door open gently and looked for his car keys. She found them next to his service gun and his wallet. She grabbed the keys and ran out quickly to grab his gym bag from his car. She was glad he always carried spare clothes in his car otherwise she would have had to run out for clothes for him.

She brought the bag back to her room and placed it on her bed next to his things and rushed out of the room. She went into the kitchen to prepare him something simple to eat. She didn't know what had happened, but when she first saw him with all the blood on him, the first thought that had entered her mind was that he was wounded. But when she saw no visible injury on him all she wanted to do is comfort him.

This was not the first time that he had shown up at her doorstep in the middle of the night, unexpectedly, especially in the past year since he became a detective. He always came to her home whenever there had been a particularly difficult case, and she was always able to take his mind off of things and tease him out of his somber mood, but she knew tonight she is going to need more than her cheesy jokes to bring a smile to his face.

Tonight he looked shattered and in pain, not physical pain, but emotional pain. She had never seen such devastation on his face before tonight. She prayed that things were alright with him. She was afraid to think about what could have happened to make her strong man this vulnerable.

She had just placed the food on the table and was about to call him when she saw him leaning against the kitchen door watching her with an indefinable expression. She felt her heart stop and speed up as she took in his appearance. He was dressed in track pants and a body hugging t-shirt that showed off all his well-defined muscles.

"Come have a seat and eat something," She turned away to pour some orange juice for him and to hide her expression from him. Her admiration of his physique is the last thing he needed at this moment. She needed to get her hormones in control or else she will end up making a fool of herself in front of him.

She turned to see him still standing by the door with a lost look on his face. She hesitated then walked to him to take his hand in hers to lead him to the table. She was about to turn when he suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her abdomen. She was too shocked to react at first because he had never done anything like this before and this worried her. She wondered what could have happened to make him behave like this. She wrapped her one arm around his shoulder and ran her other hand through his damp hair to sooth him in the best way she could. She did not know what else to do but stand there and comfort him until he was ready to talk.

As soon as he felt he her arms go around him in comfort, Varun felt warmth seep into his entire body. Ever since the moment they had pulled him away from his partner's lifeless body all he had felt was cold and numb. Not even the hot shower he took just a few minutes ago had warmed him to this extent. He started to feel again, and he did not want to let go of this small connection to the warm feelings.

He didn't know how long he held her, but he finally released her when she eased him back gently. She held on to his hand and pulled a chair close to him to sit next to him. She then speared the omelet with a fork and held it in front of his lips. He let her feed him few bites but turned away when he felt a lump in his throat as the memory of his partner came back.

He shook his head when she tried again, "I can't eat anymore."

Niyati bit her lip worriedly because she did not know what else to do to ease his pain. Should she ask him what happened? In the past, neither she nor Nidhi had ever asked him about his job, but tonight the only way to help is to know what is causing this pain. She cupped his face with one hand and made him look at her, "What's wrong Varun?"

She was surprised to see the sheen of tears in his eyes, and it increased her anxiety. "Please tell me how to help you. You are scaring me."

Varun should be shot for what he was about to ask her, but tonight he needed her like he needed the next breath of air. He knew if he left here and went somewhere else to drown out his sorrows he will lose himself in alcohol and that is the last thing he needed. For once he is not going to think about anything else but the feelings she evoked in him. "I don't want to be alone tonight with my memories."

There was something about the way he hung his head that sent a pang to Niyati's heart. This is the man that she fell in love with no resistance. She had noticed this deep rooted sadness in his eyes from time to time, but he always hid them as soon as she got curious. It always made her wonder if there is something about his past that she did not know.

She took his hand once again and led him to her bedroom and made him sit on the bed. "You can stay here as long as you want." She started to walk away, but he grabbed her hand.

"Please stay with me."

She sat next to him, still holding his hand. It was few minutes before he started talking.

"My partner and I were just getting ready to go home when we were contacted by our informer about a current case. He asked us to meet him at our usual meeting place. When we got there, he was nowhere to be found, but within five minutes someone started shooting at us."

Niyati gasped silently. Thank god he didn't get shot.

"It seemed as though all the shots were aimed at my partner. I called for help as soon as the first shot was fired and for a while, we were able to hold off the shooters." 

He got a faraway look in his eyes, which told Niyati that he was no longer with her but back to the scene of shooting, wondering what he could have done differently to save his partner.

"He was covering me when he was shot in the heart," Varun whispered softly.

Niyati inhaled sharply, no wonder he was devastated. The man who Varun looked up to died saving him.

"He was only a few months away from retirement. Why did he come in front of the bullet that was meant for me? How will I ever face his wife again?"

She wrapped both of her arms around his shoulders to hold him tightly as he started shaking. She rocked him back and forth and murmured softly to soothe him. She couldn't help but feel that their relationship was about to take another turn.

A/N

Hey everyone,

Sorry, I am not updating this book regularly, but I am still in the process of writing this story, and sometimes I feel like quitting because I just don't where I am going with it or if I am going in the right direction. I do want to finish it though. 

Having said this, I would love to hear your feedbacks and suggestions. This is just part of the past there is more to come. 

Also, check out my new story at https://www.wattpad.com/story/113893082-first-love