Naureen

Finally the school was over so I gathered all my belongings and left but not before saying goodbye to Sidra.

I had to meet Ayaan as promised. I decided to walk rather than taking a cab as Harold's Cafe was not so far from the school.

I pushed open the door of the cafe. The aroma of coffee filled my nostrils. It smelt like bark on a cool spring day. It felt so refreshing.

I and Ayaan oftenly visited this place. It was our favourite hangout spot. We used to share our life issues and enjoy each other's company.
But as the days passed by we hardly came here, due to our busy schedules and never ending work.

All the memorable moments spent with him sipping coffee, chit- chatting and me laughing on his silly jokes, rushed through my brain. They were the happiest moments of my life. I just want to live those memories again.
I wished there was a replay button in life so that I could live those moments again.  

I looked through the crowd and found the familiar face with almond shaped chocolate brown eyes. They were contrasting with his smooth fair skin, his midnight black curls were messed up as always. His thin lips curled as he saw me.

He stood up as I reached near the table.
"Assalmu alaikum" he greeted

"Walaikum assalam" I replied

We settled down on our chairs.

"Pretty lucky, we got my favourite table." I exclaimed
It was my most favoured place in Harold's. We mostly sat on this table. I was fond of it as there was a large window beside it. Sipping hot coffee while admiring the splendor of the sky when dusk covered it with beautiful shades of orange and red, feels so gratifying.

"May be it wasn't a luck" he smirked

"What you mean by that ?" I asked

"Actually, I booked this table, just for you" he explained

"You're kidding, right? I mean this is a cafe, Ayaan. Lots of people visit this place, sometimes we hardly get any tables. They don't book tables for anyone unlike some rich persons or celebrities, but I don't think they come to this place." I blabbered.

"One of my friend works in here. So I just asked him and he reserved this table" he beamed,
"Anything for my Noor." he further added.

"Thanks Ayaan " I said.

Just then a waiter arrived at our table.
"What would you like to have, Sir? he asked

"An iced latte for me and cappuccino for the lady" Ayaan ordered as a gentleman, while raising his brow at me to make sure he has ordered the right drink for me.

I nodded in agreement. He knows my tastes very well.

"sure, Sir" the waiter nodded and left.

"So, how was your day?" he asked

"Good as usual" I replied
he nodded at my answer.

"So, what do you wanted to talk about?" I asked

"Um....I was having a chat with aunt Shaheen and she was saying that...you still haven't recovered properly. You keep yourself shut, reducing talks with everyone." He said with discomfort on his face.

"So I was right. I knew you were going to talk about this! Can't just everyone leave me alone for once?!" I snapped. Why are they doing this? I hate being pitied!

"Calm down Noor. We just want to help you out." he said softly.

I suddenly felt guilty.

"Ayaan, I....am sorry....I didn't mean to shout at you. It's just...that I want to be left all alone and I'm fine" I said blinking my tears off.
I shouldn't have talk to him that way.

"Its all right Noor, I can understand, you had been through a hard time." He spoke slowly, as if comforting a panicked kid.

I remained silent. He too didn't speak anything. I stared into his brown eyes, which showed pure concern . He cares a lot for me.

Just then the waiter arrived with my cappuccino and Ayaan's favourite, iced latte. Ayaan thanked him and he left.

"Listen Noor, you need to move on now. Whatever happened that day was not your fault. It was her destiny that led her to it. Please don't blame yourself for it." he looked worried.

I looked at him. I wanted to speak but my mouth couldn't form any words.

I reached out for my cup and took a sip. It was lukewarm but I felt the heat on my lips. I closed my eyes and smelled the refreshing aroma. My brain felt lighter, as if all the stress is drained out from it.

Ayaan didn't touch his cup. He was just eyeing my every action.

"Please Noor, don't do this to yourself. We all want our old Noor back, that Noor who was all chirpy, who made everyone she met happy, who used to, enjoy every moment of life. I miss that Noor, and I want her back" he said pleadingly

It's true that I have changed. It's like my life has turned all upside down. I too miss myself. This is not me. I was not like this.

"I know Ayaan, you all care about me. But how can I just forget everything and move on. How can I forget, what I did. I can't do that. I don't have the strength." I said my voice cracking at the end.
I was going to burst in tears but I blinked them back. I can't cry now, not in front of him. It will make him even more disturbed.

"We all are there with you. You can do this. But for that you  should stop blaming yourself.
Allah (SWT) is always with you. It was Allah's (SWT) plan, and it was her fate, you were only the means of occurrence of that tragedy. I know that you have seen through a lot hardships, but you have to forget it now." he said
"Please Noor, try to forget what happened. It was the past don't let it affect your future." he further continued.

Everyone said that it was her destiny which led her to it and I know it's true but how will you feel when when your silly mistake was the cause of something so tremendous . It drowns me in guilty. This thought is the reason of my abasement.
But I think I should try to forget it, I know its impossible for me but I'll try, because I don't want others to be unhappy and distressed because of me. If I'll stay happy they too will. I have to do this. 

"Okay then, I know it's hard for me, but I'll try. Try my best" I put a small smile on my face.

"That's like my Noor!" he exclaimed.

I'll try-but just for you

His eyes glowed in joy. He beamed.
"I'll be always there with you." he said.

I smiled back.

"Now, will you drink your coffee? If you don't want it, can I  have it? " I asked, staring at his untouched latte.

"No, I'm not giving it to you."  he laughed,
"Dont pout like that--Ya Allah! you already finished your cappuccino?-- But I still won't give mine. "
.
.
.
.
.

"Okay fine, here you go" he chuckled, offering me his coffee.

"Nah. I was just kidding. You know I'm not a fan of iced coffee" I said.

He chuckled again and was about to say something when the waiter evidently bumped into Ayaan's hand which was holding the cup. The cup slipped and fell on his lap, spilling all the coffee in the process.

"Oh! oh! oh! It's cold!  It's so cold! ah!!" Ayaan shrieked like a girl, while the waiter looked terrified and wouldn't stop apologising over and over. I, on the other hand was trying to control the laughter bubbling inside me.

The waiter gave him tissues and offered for another coffee as well.

"It's Ohhhkay" Ayaan shivered taking the tissues from the waiter and sopping up the puddles on his pants with it.  "you don't need to apologise. It wasn't your fault. And no thanks I don't need another coffee." Ayaan smiled at the waiter and the waiter sighed in relief.

We exited the cafe and I had just got a hold of myself from laughing like a hyena when something  struck me and I burst out laughing again.

"Now what?" Ayaan asked exasperatedly.

"Peo-people are staring at you be-because it looks like you have peed your p-pants" I said between laughter.

The look on his face was hilarious. He rushed to the car, throwing a look at a little boy giggling at him.

"come on, get in! Ya Allah!  This is so humiliating!" he muttered, opening the door for me.

He looked so cute. I got in the car smiling like a madwoman.

He got in the drivers seat and said something that I never realised,

" I'm happy to hear you laugh. We are making progress" he beamed.

I nodded, smiling.

Indeed it felt good laughing after so long.

************
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