Naureen

Did I make the right decision?
I won't regret it later, right?
What if they come to know the truth and hate me all their life?

Numerous thoughts rendered in my mind until I heard the Imam repeating the question for me.

I had a mere feeling that Allah (SWT) is with me and He wants me to do this. So I guess this is what my fate is.

"Qubool hai," I replied as soon as my eyes landed on the only person, for whose sake I have made this decision. His innocent face peeped through the doorway as those wounded eyes made me utter those two words, giving an answer to his curious little heart. He disappeared as soon as he heard me.

My eyes wandered, searching his face, his expression right now. I wanted to know what was in his mind, how he felt about this marriage and about me being his stepmother. Alas, I couldn't figure it out.

After the wedding rituals, dates were distributed among the relatives. Aunt fed me a small morsel of date.
"Stay blessed my dear," She whispered.

I'm a married woman now. I wished my parents were here, with me, on this day. Their happiness would have been bountless, seeing their daughter in this bridal attire. Watching her take a new step in her life. But not everything goes as you wish.

They plan and Allah (SWT) plans. And Allah (SWT) is the best of Planners.

It was time for the wedding feast. The bride and groom usually eat together, feeding each other their first morsel of food, as a token of love and their new beginning. I sat waiting for Mr. Hamid to arrive, when I saw him coming towards me with Saif and an elderly couple. Saif was holding the old woman's hand and pointed his finger towards me.

"Assalamu alaikum," Mr. Hamid greeted as soon as he approached me.

"Walaikum Salam," I replied.

"These are Razia's parents. They wanted to meet you," He said pointing at the couple.

"Oh..Assalamu alaikum," I said, a bit startled.
They replied to my salam.

"Congratulations dear, may Allah (SWT) bless you with happiness in your future life," The old man said, smiling briefly.

"MashaAllah, you two look like a great couple," the old women said.

"Jazakallah khair," I replied nervously.

"Actually we should be the ones thanking you, for accepting this marriage. Its very rare to find girls like you nowadays. Girls, who are ready to accept a man along with his child. May Allah (SWT) shower you with blessings and reward you for your deeds."

"Jazakallah for your blessings, Ma'am."

"And do take good care of my son- in-law and my grandson," She said ruffling Saif's hair.

"InshaAllah, I won't disappoint you."

The lady smiled.

We all sat together to eat. I fed Mr. Hamid small morsel of the sweet and he did the same. I was quite nervous but I let the nervousness hide behind my smile.

Razia's parents were so good to me. I felt ashamed talking to them. What will they think of me when they come to know the truth? They'll be so mad and disappointed at me because after all, the pain of losing a child is worse.

It was then time to leave. Leave my home, where I grew up, where I got my second parents, the love I craved for, aunty and uncle might not be my biological parents but they always treated me like their own daughter. Even though Ali used be on my nerves with his childish tactics, our sibling bond was strong.

As I said my farewell; I couldn't hold in my tears. How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. Aunt and uncle cried their heart out.

Ali approached me with moist eyes.
"Now there'll be no one around for me to tease. How'd I survive without our bickering?"

"Can't you just say that you'll miss me?" I sobbed.

"I'll miss you Noor!!" He weeped.

"I'll miss you too, Ali. I promise I'll visit home frequently."

"Better keep that promise."

I was about to leave when he handed me a note.

"What is this?"

"Read it"

Can't believe you did this. Did you think twice about this? I dont think so. This is the worst choice you have ever made, Noor. What if Hamid and Saif found about the truth? They'll blame you all their life. You will be held responsible for Razia's death. He'd regret marrying you. Be ready to face the consequences. You have dug your own grave. I wanted to bring a smile to your face but I guess, you can't let the tears go.
I'm still pessimistic about it.
You'll regret this decision.
Mark my words.

P.S. Hope I'll never see you again; cause I don't wanna see you in your worst phase of life.

- Your ex-Life saver
Ayaan

Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt the weight of the whole world upon my shoulders. How could he leave such a note. My heart was still waiting for him. I believed our bond wasn't this fragile. But he proved me wrong. He did come to the wedding, but only to give me this dreadful note.

"Neglect his words, you did what your heart said. And I trust you, we all trust you Noor." Ali assured me.

Tears couldnt stop rolling down my cheeks, Ali squeezed my hand in support.

"Remember Allah (SWT) is with us." He whispered.

Sitting in the car, I made my mind to tell Mr. Hamid about the past as soon as we reach home. I needed to do this.
___________

I was home. The house where I've been before, as a educator. But now as a wife and a mother.

Mr. Hamid showed me the entire house and led me to his room. He motioned me to sit on the bed and I did the same.

"The house is pretty good," I said

"Yeah, Razia designed the entire appartment" He replied but then realised what he said. He then said nothing. It seemed he didn't wanted to bring up Razia but it might've slipped through his tongue.

"I bet Razia was a good homemaker." I said with a genuine smile.

He looked taken aback at first.

"Yeah she was....," Hurt was clearly seen in his eyes

We were quiet. Neither of us seemed to have any topic to talk about. I was thinking of ways to tell him about the past.

"Are you really happy about this marriage? Or did you marry me under pressure because you seem to be low at the moment to me." He suddenly asked, concern over his face.

"No, nobody forced or pressurized me about this. I was willing to marry you. I'm happy about it and I want to see Saif happy too. Its just that I miss my parents a lot today. I lost them when I was a kid."

"Oh."
"I know how it feels too; cause I've been through it. Atleast you know who your parents are."

"Huh...You..."

"I was an infant when someone left me at the door of an orphanage."

"Oh...I'm Sorry.."

"No, no. You don't have to be. I don't know who my parents are. Whether they are alive or not but I never felt their absence as Razia's parents treated me like their own son. They are precious to me," He said.

Hamid used to work for Razia's father. He was a good employee and got attached to Razia's father. Her father was impressed by his behaviour and asked for his hand in marriage for his daughter, according to what Saif told me once.

"Jazakallah Miss...I- I mean Jazakallah Naureen, for agreeing to this marriage..."

He was used to calling me Miss.

I smiled at his state, he was looking anywhere but me.

"I will make so that you won't regret this marriage," He said futher, his eyes deeply boring into mine.

"I believe you," I smiled

I felt this was the right time to tell him about it. I needed to lift of the weight from my heart. I needed to tell him about the past.

"Actually, Hamid.."
"I want to talk to you about my past....." I started off.

________________________________

So my lovely readers, did you guys like the chapter?
Fill the comments section and tell me how you feel about the story so far...

Will Naureen speak up about the past?
What would be Hamid's reaction?
Also, what do you guys think about Ayaan?

Stay tuned ;)
See you guys in next update.

love,
TheHijabQueen