A/N: Ok before you read beware. Explicit sex scenes. I have to admit once the memories start it took me a long time to write because I had to stop cringed, think, then keep going. But this is a necessary evil. It will give you a perspective into Nathan's life. I promise after this chapter it will go back to sexy sexual content :) but if you want to skip the horrible parts, I'll start the scenes with *** and end it too :)

I didn't hide in the darkness too long eventually I forced myself to wake up as I didn't felt I was still in danger. I sat down and sway, I might of escape the darkness but I was still stinky drunk. 

I looked around trying to get a sense of my surroundings, everything was spinning like crazy but I could see I was in a guy's bedroom. I groaned and tried to focus, but it was making it worse. I had a small feeling of deja vu that I have been here before. I looked down at myself as a bedsheet covered my body. I lifted it a little to find out I was naked.

The stranger that saved me was sitting right next to me, waiting for me to speak first. His eyes held concern, calming my nervous state.

"Zoey?" I looked up at him, trying to force the dizziness away. It wouldn't go away, so I lay back on the bed slowly.

"Hmmm?"

"How are you feeling?" I closed my eyes. I was too dizzy to hold a conversation with him. I needed to sleep this off.

"I just need to sleep," I murmured. 

The stranger chuckled. "Is ok. You can rest. I beat the asshole's ass and got him arrested. Let's just say your father didn't like the part that he tried to rape you. I can't believe he lost it after only two days with you." 

He laughed, amused, but there was a sense of pride in that laugh. "I must say he took it far. Even if you are in fact a bitch." I kept my eyes closed, losing consciousness again. "As for you letting him pleasure you," he murmured his tone held an edge to it and I felt the need to explain myself.

"I miss sex," I murmured back sleepily.

"Then why didn't you wanted him inside of you?" I sigh and tried to wake up, but darkness was coming for me fast again. If he saw that.

"It felt wrong..." I answer honestly. Thanks to my state I could not lie. "If... I gave into Joshua, I would have lost someone." Silence followed, and I felt self-conscious keeping my eyes tightly closed. "I know," I murmured. "It's stupid." The stranger just chuckled at my statement, and I felt his stiff lips on my neck. I had a slight sense of him bitting down on my neck, but I was too far gone to care or notice...

"I love you." A girl said to Nathan as he held her hands and they walked together to a park, sitting down.

"Annabelle. Would you marry me?" Nathan opens a box that showed a beautiful diamond ring.

"Yes!" He slid the ring onto her finger and she jumps on him hugging him...

And suddenly the memory changed to Annabelle walking down the aisle toward me. Nathan. My heart wanted to jump out of my chest and I knew right here and now that my life was complete...

The memory changed again. I gasp as I came back falling back on the bed. She giggles. "Sorry, babe. Give me a minute and I'll get you to finish." She smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

"Don't worry honey, you can have a go tomorrow." I smiled going to sleep. Life was perfect. Women pleased their husbands and won't see the wrong in the times. I smiled. Hopefully, they'll keep being this submissive.

Another memory... "Honey, I heard a-" Then she gasped, as five male entered the room. I stood up fast and got in front of the bed.

"You are trespassing. Leave." They all looked at one guy, who was smirking at me.

"Told you guys he had potential." They all nodded in agreement.

"Do what you want with the girl. But after you're done, don't waste the food. Drink every single drop, then burn the body." Anabelle whimpered.

"Don't touch her," I said through gritted teeth. They all grabbed her and started taking her to another room. "NO!" I said, starting to run towards them. The guy chuckle and was in front of me in an instant, grabbing me by the neck.

"You hear that guys? He wants to watch." They threw her on the bed and ripped her clothes off...

                                                * * *Explicit Scene***

"Don't touch her!." They tied her on the bed on her sides. A guy got behind her, one in front of her and another one above her head. I stared disgustedly. They all started at once. They muffled her scream by one guy that put his dick in her mouth and made her suck on it. The guy holding me by the neck made me watch.

"How are you this strong?" I gasp out, as I tried to escape his grasp, so I can save my wife. His fangs were elongated. I stared at it in disbelieve. Vampires weren't real. He chuckles as if he could read my thoughts.

"I chose you. Nathan Romanoff. You'll see I need a new sex slave," he smirks, watching my face. "Yes, a male sex slave. Humans don't last long, so I must be gentle with you tonight then I have to turn you so I can use you for my desires."

Annabelle moaned in pain just then. I turned to look at her, but the vampire held my face with two fingers and kept me staring at him. "You don't want to look at this part yet," he paused as if on thoughts.

 He chuckles, and in seconds my hands were tight to a chair, my legs as well, but they were spread out. It forced me to be in an uncomfortable standing position. While staring at Annabelle. The three-man kept switching around on her. Tears well up in my eyes, as I watched helplessly then the pain came from behind me. I was so engrossed in Annabelle that I haven't noticed I was naked from the waist down and the vampire behind me penetrated me. I gasp in pain and looked behind me over my shoulder to see the vampire on my back. 

The vampire trusted his cock into my ass. I forgot about Anabelle's pain as I now was in the worse pain imaginable. He wasn't gentle; he trusted me hard.

I felt the pain as if I was too raped by anal. It was as if Nathan's memories were my own. My pain was this sadistic vampire's pleasure. The vampire held onto my waist as he rode me and dug his nails into my flesh, making Nathan and me scream in pain.

"STOP! Just kill me," he chuckles and sank his teeth into my skin. A gasped escape my lips and could feel him drinking my blood. Then he thrust into me again, harder. I didn't know why, but I looked up worried about Anabelle. 

The vampires were all drinking blood from her. She was still almost looked dead, but the slight rise and fall of her chest told me she was hanging by a treat. This asshole made sure she was in pain every second, drinking in on her pain literally. The asshole stayed plugged behind me, breaking my insides. One vampire talked.

"Her blood is almost gone." They stopped. I sigh relief, ignoring my pain. My body was shutting down, but I fought against the darkness even if that meant feeling the guy rape me. They brought something that looked for branding animals.

They put it on her skin, waking Anabelle up. She was so weak that she couldn't yell, only a tiny gasp escape her lips. "Oh good, she's awake." One of them ripped her leg out of her socket and walked away with it, drinking from it.

"NOOO!" The vampire behind me moaned and slammed into me and I didn't felt it. I kept staring at Anabelle as another vampire took out her other leg. Annabelle's eyes went wide, then the light left her eyes slowly. I closed my eyes as tears fell down my eyes. What a horrible way to die. I didn't know how or when, but I needed to have revenge. I couldn't die. Not yet...

"Oh, my god!" The asshole moaned. "Your body just came alive again. I never saw that in a human. I know I choose right." The adrenaline of seeing Anabelle lasted me three days, which meant I had the vampire who's name was Marcus. He had me tight to the chair and fuck me three days straight. I forced myself to stay alive because if I died... Eventually, my body shut down, and I was out...

                                                         * * * End of explicit scene***

I woke up starving, but why do I want blood. I tried to move, but it chained me to the floor. I hissed.

"What?" I heard a chuckle. Interrupting my question.

"Yes. I turned you," he walked closer. "You were closed to death. I overdid it but your body wouldn't go limp, I forgot you were a mere human." He licked his lips, staring at me. I could see a hard-on growing on his fucking pants. "You should have my memories but you were too far gone almost at the edge of death. It is probably for the best. You don't need to know my dark secrets..."

I sigh relief as I saw the memories changed yet again. I only lived the raped once but Nathan stayed with the vampire name Marcus for three long years he did horrible things to Nathan. Nathan just acted like he was enjoying being treated like that and eventually gain Marcus' trust and killed him after torturing him.

Nathan went on a rampage of raping and killing men himself. His humanity died when he was turned into a vampire and he did the same thing that has been done to him.

He saw himself under his last victim's eyes and saw he became what he despised the most. So Nathan settled down and started dating vampires, girls who were willing, then going to live in the mansion with the king of the vampire himself.

A fresh memory formed. Nathan has been living in the mansion for years now."Nathan, I took on a slave." I chuckle and rolled my eyes.

"Who's the lucky girl?"

"I just turned her yesterday, and she's rather welcoming the immortal world rather well. She's sleeping now. You'll meet her tomorrow." I smiled at him.

This is why I was content here. He asks humans before doing something to them. Yeah, he had ten sex slaves, but they all loved him. They waited anxiously for him to call them into his chambers. I think they were hoping to become queen, which would never happen. 

John was the eternal bachelor, he liked the single life too much. "Oh, before I forget Jennifer finally said yes!" He said really enthusiastically. I burst out laughing. Talking about hard to get women. John was amazing and patient. Personally I did not like to work hard to get a woman, if I made my intention clear and she was on the defense I just move on. But John liked Jennifer. I would say more than like it seems like he had fallen in love with the Slayer.

"It only took you three months," I said sarcastically. John glared at me but his anger wasn't towards me, it was towards himself.

"I know," he sighs and shook his head sadly. "So... I'm about to do something against my nature, something inhumane," he bit his lowered lip regretfully.

"You will rape her?"  I ask in disbelieve.

"Yes, if it took me three months for her to go on a date, imagine sex. I need a daughter OR son. that is half vampire, half slayer. And Jennifer is one of the best hunters I know. I'm thinking of turning her before she gives birth, just so my kid, have a slight kick of power." That was actually a brilliant idea.

"So tonight on the date?"

"Yes, I'll bring her here, then keep her here. Until she gives birth, then I'll monitor my kid, once he or she turns eleven, I'll have my killing machine.

Another memory came. John raped my mother and brought her to the mansion and kept her lock-in for months. She wouldn't eat when John brought the food, and she would act uncontrollably, so Nathan brought her the food and I got to see my mother through his memories. Even in the situation, she was. She kept her spirit strong, Nathan could see she was always plotting something.

The memory changed again, and now my mom had a beautiful round belly. Nathan brought her the food as always and my mom screams in pain falling on her knees. Nathan rushed to her, putting the tray on the floor. 

"What's wrong-" In a fast moment that made me feel proud of my mother, she threw her body towards Nathan as if she would hug him and snap his neck stunning him until someone found him. She ran and ran. I couldn't see after she walked out of the door, but I felt proud of my mother. She ran away while being pregnant with me and use magic to hide herself and the child (me). 

The king looked for Jennifer like a madman.

SEVEN years later...

John came into the mansion with tears in his eyes, slamming the door so hard it broke out of his hinges. "She... hid the kid again?" Nathan guessed.

"Yes..." Tears fell down John's face. "I snap, and I... Killed her." I stared at him in disbelieve. Ever since John found Jennifer he forgot his admiration for Aurora and stop calling her into his chambers.

"YOU killed Jennifer? " John was in love with her. He wouldn't... But I could see it in his eyes. Regret, pain. "But you... I-"

"When I found her she was married to a human, raised MY CHILD as if she was a mere human!" He growled in disgust. And hid my kid yet again!"

"She wouldn't tell you were?" I murmured.

"No! So I snap, next thing I know... She was dead," he said, walking away, yelling for Aurora.  I closed my eyes, knowing he would take his anger and frustration on Aurora. Ever since he met Jennifer, he asked less and less of her, and Aurora and I started talking. Without wanting to, I fell in love with one of my king's slaves.

Memories of secret meetings came to my mind as I tried to close my eyes. Ignored them, but I felt it as if I was the one having sex with Aurora as if I was the one giving her oral sex. We had to be fast, so she was almost always the one with the orgasm and me I had to masturbate later...

Then I saw every meeting, every act. It was weird seeing myself through Nathan's memories. I could hear what he thought, how disgusted he really felt for me. That hurt... He was an excellent actor.

I sat down on the bed and looked around confused. I felt like my head would explode. I touched myself until my hand landed on my chest. I was still alive, but barely... Having the vampire's memories and thought was a side effect AFTER being turned. I'm guessing my half vampire gene sped up that step.

Tears started falling down my cheek and I cleaned them fast and angrily. That asshole has been using me to get to John, and he was fucking with my life all so he could kill me. I gulped down the vile and disgust that raised into my throat. I can't believe I used to think he was sexy and beautiful. 

More tears floated down my cheek, and I wiped them down fast and angry yet again. I even developed feelings for the disgusting creature. I. Hate. Him.

This... My fucking situation was my fucking point and the reason I was a fucking Slayer. Vampires didn't know love. They were heartless creatures that didn't think of anyone else but themselves; they did not care who they hurt to get what they wanted.

Nathan and John lie to me when I first met John. He said they dated and my mom willingly had sex with John, but that was a horrible lie, after three months John grew tired of waiting for my mom and thought the better option was to rape her. 

My lips quivered, and more tears floated down. This time I didn't clean them down. They were for my mum. She was raped by a vampire none the less, yet she kept me, not only that I never saw disgust in her eyes. Only love. She even wrote it in my notebook. 

My mom was my hero now. I don't think I could have been strong enough to keep the child of a vampire. Especially after being raped by one. But she did, and she loved me. 

Mom...

I had a lot to thank my mother now. I understood why I always felt like I didn't belong in this world. Now I knew. I was the product of rape. I wasn't supposed to be alive, if it were me, the one that was raped and conceived a child. I would have taken the thing out of my stomach without a second thought.

Mom...

A rage like I never felt before engulfed me. Thanks to the asshole Nathan, I have all of his memories and thoughts. Every single time he had sex with Aurora, I saw every single time we kissed and what he felt and thought, his hate towards me. The disgust he felt for me and John.

I would die but before that, I will have my revenge against John, Nathan, and Aurora. I was going to hell, but I would bring those three along with me.

I clean my tears angrily. I hated to cry like this over a guy and I vowed it will be the last time. I put a hand on my stomach and lay on the bed in a fetal position.

There were normal ways to do what Nathan wanted without hurting people. John has been the one I have been looking all along.

Nathan should have come up to me and tell me everything from the very fucking beginning.  He did.  The minor part that was infatuated with Nathan tried to reason. Yeah, after a few months of trying to get me to fall in love with him. He grew tired and beg for my help. The first time we met he told me he knew about my parents and I stupidly and blindly followed him into the castle. He should have told me everything then, his plans, his illusion of love. If he told me that day about John and how he raped my mother. I would have agreed to a charade to get close to John and killed him.

God, how can Nathan be so stupid?  He rather hurt me, use me. Then come up straight to me and talk. Well, that bloodsucker wanted me.  He found me. He would not get away with his stupid plan. I'll make sure I kill his precious Aurora and make him watch, then kill him, then John.

I will kill every single one of them if it was the last thing I did. Which probably will be. I closed my eyes and cried, asking repeatedly.

Why me?

A/N:  Uh oh. Zoey knows everything, and she's pissed. Beware Nathan Zoey does not like to cry over someone. O. o