I know this song is to a father. But the scenes and the songs describe so well what Zoey is feeling and had felt up to this chapter. Besides, technically thanks to John Zoey is the way she is as well :)

For the first time in my 18 years, I spend the whole night crying as if I was a little girl. I wanted to forget everything I wanted to erase out of my mind the whole image that was tattooed in my memories and brain.

I thought I hated Nathan before when he kept erasing me... Not what I felt for him was... annoyance but now I knew what true hate felt like because I felt it for Aurora, John, and Nathan. Killing the three of them seem too merciful and something they did not deserve.

I always knew my destiny was dying in the hands of a vampire and I knew it was true, but before I went to hell I would bring those three with me making them live it first before dying. I will make sure Nathan feels the same exact thing I'm feeling right now until he's the one that begs me for death.

Now I have implanted in my fucking brain everything he ever did with THAT slut. I put both hands on my stomach and lay on the bed curled in a fetal position. Eyes closed. Why me? What have I done in my previous life... To deserve all of this?

I had to be smarter than Nathan now. If Nathan bit me again drinking my blood... I would no longer be going to be able to tolerate the sun. I would get a bad sunburn for months. Then if he kept it up. I would start to crave blood and once I killed my first person... I would be one of them...

I never like the idea of immortality and I couldn't use the excuse that I would miss the sun, because all those bloodsuckers had to do was put on a fucking tattoo on my skin that would brand me to other Slayers as a vampire and ta-da! I could walk in the fucking sun. I stretched my self on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Vampires had a fuck up way of seeing and doing things. A normal human being would of just grow a pair of balls and talked to John about his feelings...  If that route seems too dangerous the obvious choice would have been to run away... This was the exact fucking reason why I didn't believe in love.

If Nathan and Aurora were truly in love... power would have become a secondary thing... Not the first... This is why I was a Slayer.

Vampires were truly evil creatures of the night. They were soulless monster only thinking of pleasure and satisfaction. Nathan made a huge mistake with me and I would make sure he lives the rest of the life he has left regretting it.

Joshua was probably dead for trying to rape me. So that meant, Nathan was back at the game of the pursuit of my heart with lies... And all just so he could be the king of vampires. What a fuck up mind that guy had. I couldn't be stubborn with him, he would just try to erase me and that would be dangerous to my health.

So I had to swallow all this pain, anger, and hate and act pleasant with him. I cringe at the thought...It wasn't fair... I wish I could walk up to him and give him a piece of my mind... I needed time for his saliva to leave my body THEN follow my plan. I would have to let him think he won...

Enough ZOEY! With all of this self-pity, you're better than this!

I jumped out of the bed and started taking off my clothes just letting it fall to the floor.  I walked naked to the bathroom and got in the shower...I turned the water on cold and got under it. I closed my eyes as memories of what Nathan truly felt for me floated into my mind...

I couldn't decipher what hurt the most... His plan, the fact that all I saw in his memories and thoughts about me were hate and disgust... Maybe the reason why I'm feeling like this is that deep... down...

I open my eyes and stared at the wall feeling stupid. I threw a punch at the wall hard picturing it was Nathan. The wall crack under my punch. Of course, Nathan would have never fallen for me... I am the fuckin daughter of the man he hates. I threw another punch, then another one. The wall crack and I did not give a fuck I punch it, again and again, letting out a yell of raged as I kept punching the wall over and over faster.

The skin under my knuckle broke, and I kept hitting the wall. Hitting the wall helped. Eventually, I cleaned my self and got out of the shower.

I had to bandage my hands. I wore sweatpants and a sweater. My hair I kept in a messy bun. I brushed my teeth and went for a run around my apartment to try and clear my head.

I decided to try and see what I had from the immortal world. If a human saw me run I would almost blur not like the vampires, but it was closed, I had a fighting chance against them now. I stopped running in front of my park and walked all the way to the bench. I put a hand into a fist and hit the tree. It made a dent. I have vampire's powers but in a human body. Sweet!

"This is going to be fun." I murmured.

                                                                ***

After a week of having vampire abilities... I dropped out of school. It became clear to me I wasn't going to graduate as a nurse. That was not in my destiny. 

I"m going to take advantage of my newfound strength and going to kill even more vampire and help the Slayers win this war once and for all. Nathan did not visit me in that week so I had a small break to overcome my lust for him.

I needed to do something. Something I have been avoiding since my parents died and that was asking for help. I knew they kept a watch on me hoping I would join them. They have contacted me once or twice in my 18 years trying to get me under their wings...

I always spat their offer in their faces. Here I was walking in my park yelling like a crazy person that I needed to talk to a Slayer. 

I was lucky Nathan was busy with something and wasn't around if he heard me he would know something was up. I felt stupid, and naive calling to them like this but they never really left a calling card.

I had a sense of someone watching me, listening, but no one came forward.  I sigh defeated giving up and started going to my apartment with a broken heart. I have been rejecting them for a long time. I couldn't expect them to still want me and that meant... I was fucked.

Suddenly  I heard a scream but it became faint. I followed the very faint muffled sound if it weren't for Nathan's stupidity I wouldn't have heard. I found the sound. A girl was laying on the grass a vampire on top of her he was covering her mouth and drinking from her neck.

"Hey!" The vampire hiss standing up and turning my way. The girl stayed on the floor weakly. The vampire knew who I was. "Didn't your mother told you to eat like a gentleman?" The vampire cleans his mouth with the back of his hands.

"Zoey Lehane. And some vampire's said I'm not lucky." I gave him a crooked smile. It has been a while since I saw a vampire out and killing humans... They have been in hiding, this one was a troublemaker.  Poor bastard.

"Oh, you're not. Tonight is definitely not your lucky night." I laughed leaning against a tree casually.

"Is that so?" He said walking slowly but deliberately towards me.

"Yes. I thought you bloodsuckers had strict rules to stay inside. Being scared of the little Slayer girl and all." I said in a sarcastic tone. He laughed still walking towards me.

"We are... but I'm so sick of rat blood. I was filling my self with a little human girl." He pointed to the girl but kept coming towards me.

"I thought-"

"Yeah. Don't you get it? I'm breaking all of the rules... The boss won't be happy when he learned of your death, but his plan is stupid anyways." I laughed at him truly amused. I couldn't agree more.

"By all means. Bring it on!" I said winking at him. He ran towards me, I smile waiting for him expectantly. Once he was in front of me. I lifted my leg and kick him hard in the chest. He was an old vampire. I shouldn't have been able to throw him to the floor that fast and hard, but I did without any trouble and without breaking a sweat.

I did not give him time to get up I jumped on top of him and he looked up at me with a face full of disbelieve.

"But your human." He gasps out.

"I"m a Slayer." I corrected him.

"I'm a really old vampire and I fed... I should have been stronger..." I gave him a crooked smile. He had a point. I was now somehow stronger than the vampires even the old ones.

"Well, I have been working my butt off," I said with a tone full of sarcasm. He growled and that's when I took out my stake fast and stake him in the chest. I burned the body and instead of walking away I stood in front of the fire watching it burn.

I had to say thank you to Nathan before I kill the bastard.   Thanks to him I was stronger than ever. He helped me get rid of his kind faster.

"What are you doing here." I spun around fast and stared at Nathan with a frown as if I didn't know who he was. What the fuck is he doing here? Where has he been all this week?  I glared at him with hate wanting to ask him all of the questions that have been invading my mind all week long, but I had to act clueless and keep him away from me.   Nathan also smelled of her and my glared deepened.

Nathan just finishes having sex with the slut and came straight to the park. He was once again being stupid and reckless. I hope he does this in front of John that would be something I would pay to see. I raised my stake in a menacing way but I knew it was futile. Yet... Maybe it wasn't?

After the night I just had because of this asshole, after the little damaged I did towards my knuckles because of this asshole, after I knew exactly what he was doing and I knew every single detail of his plans towards me. After I knew what he truly thought of me... My knees have become weak, I was breathing fast as I stare at him. Even after a week without seeing him. 

Fuck. I took a deep breath. I could see in Nathan's eyes, he knew I desire him... Maybe... Maybe he was going somewhere else, and we happened to cross path. After all, he did ask what I was doing here... Maybe he'll go away. I'm not ready. I need him to leave me the fuck alone today...

"I'm hunting monster's like you," I said finally in a menancy way...

"Oh come on... You don't know me. How can you call me a monster?" This. Fucking. Asshole! After everything he was doing to me, he didn't consider himself a monster?

I purse my lips angrily and stared at him. My head was into making him pay for everything he did to me... My heart and my fucking body had other plans... 

"Besides isn't it dangerous to fight monsters in the night?" He stared at the fire behind me. "Girls like you should be in bed to get ready to go to school in the morning." If this jackass didn't spend so much time fucking the slut he would have known by now I dropped out of school.

"This girl can kick your butt." He laughed at my statement as if I just told him a joke... Yeah, I kept loosing to this jackass. I was just keeping pretenses with him just like he was doing with me. "Want to find out?" Those were the wrong choice of words because it came out as a challenge.

Nathan raised an eyebrow at me and the asshole took off his fucking shirt!!!! He threw it to the floor harshly and my mouth dropped open. Fuck! I started to breathed fast wanting to roam my hands over his chest. I'm not going to lie... I was drooling at the sight of Nathan muscle chest. I closed my eyes fast trying to concentrate.

 That's because he keeps drinking your blood concentrate, Zoey.

"See something you like?" He asked teasingly. I heard him walk towards me, and I open my eyes fast. I was done for. I was too attracted to this asshole, even after knowing what he was doing. I wasn't going to be able to fight off his charms. Every step he took towards me I marched it backward like a scared little girl. I was pathetic, I was even stumbling, breathing hard, I wasn't being my usual self.

He stopped his advance on me with a fucking crooked smile. "Change your mind already?" He said taunting me.

"Yes," I said only turned around and ran away from him. He was in front of me fast. He tried to grab me but I slapped his hand away. If he touched me I'm fucked. Nathan hissed in pain the little action hurt him. I was stronger than him today.

I lifted my leg fast and kick him in the stomach hard, making him stumble back and fall to the floor on his back. He looked up at me and stared with pure disbelieve. I ran towards him, about to jump over his body, he lifted his legs up making his feet connect with my stomach. He threw me back and flip in a way that he was now on top of me. His body weighs down on mine.

He feels so warm. Why is this asshole so warm? I stared at his chest and his impressive muscles. His grip on me is firm without being painful.

The rubbing of his trousers against my thighs makes me tremble uncontrollably. His hands clasp my wrist.  We stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. He was admiring the fact that I came close to hurting him. I feel myself letting go slowly.

"What?" He murmured about to ask the question, so I interrupted him.

"I have always been stronger than the average Slayer," I said lying smoothly.

"You have never been stronger than me." He murmured still surprise.

"How would you know? This is the first time we see each other." He gave me a secret smile.

"Right." He murmured. It was getting easier and easier to lie to him, just like he did me. He just stared at me with pure curiosity.

"Why aren't you fighting me? You're acting like you're lost." He asked full of curiosity. I glared at him. He had a fucking point.  I wasn't trashing or fighting him I was just letting him do whatever he wanted with me...

"Do you want to die?" I asked evasively.

"Nope. I'm just curious."

"Well, you do know curiosity kill the cat." He laughed then I notice him staring at my neck, and my whole body warms up with that fucking stare.

"Are you staring at my neck," I asked with fake outrage.

"Yes. I want your blood." He said honestly. My stupid heart started beating fast letting him know my body wanted the same damn thing. "I should tell you since I can hear your heartbeat. That you want me too?"

UGH!!! I glared at him with hate and he returns my glare with a seductive smile. "Can I have it?" I tried. I really did. I fought my hormones and tried to come up with something smartass like Go fuck yourself, or something simple like NO! or Fuck off! I couldn't mouth out the words I wanted the fucking bite that much. I was a junkie for vampire saliva especially Nathan's. I closed my eyes trying to clear my mind and concentrate. I can do this. I am strong...

Nathan was humiliating me, he wasn't just taking my blood he was asking for it knowing damn well what I felt about his kind. He was asking so I would know I was under his control. I started to shake uncontrollably as I fought a no out of my mouth.

Nathan leaned down towards me and his lips kissed my neck making me tremble. He smelled my neck for effect and I felt myself getting wet. A moan escapes my lips without my authorization.

"Can I bite you?" He murmured against my neck the vibration making me even wetter.

"Yes," I moaned. A smirk play's on his lips. His mouth descends on my neck. His odor is addictive, it pushing me to let go and just relax. The air seems to be charged with electricity. His hands are still clasping mine. His thumb caresses my palms sending shivers down my spine. "BUT!" I gasp out. He stops and stares back at me with a frown...

"Yes?" He murmured turning me on even further.

"Make it pleasurable." He stiffened and stared at me. He wanted my blood just as much as I wanted the bite but he did not want to make it personal or pleasurable, he wanted to keep it business-like.

"I could always just take it." He threatened.

"Go ahead," I said with a smile. He growled and glared at me. He wanted me humiliated accepting that I was under his control without being able to fight him off. Let's be honest I couldn't fight him off... All I said was make it pleasurable he could ignore my command just take it and I still would let him.

His big hands went under my shirt and he caressed my stomach in a circular motion. I closed my eyes as a moan escape my lips.

One of Nathan's hands stayed at the stomach but the other one ventured towards my boob which was being protected by my bra, that didn't stop Nathan he caressed my boob squeezing, probing, pulling. 

"What if I lose my self in the pleasure? And I end up wanting something more than blood?" He murmured but his hands kept exploring my body. Before that sentence would send me into a panic, I would cringe, try to push him off and maybe run away. I knew better thought Nathan wouldn't take it further.  He told me once, he only planned to have sex with me once and I don't think this would be it.

"You can do whatever you like to my body, is not like I can pretend I don't want it." He growled a low feral sound by now with everything Nathan was doing my panties were soaked. Both hands went up from my stomach towards my boobs.

He started to massage my boobs making me closed my eyes again and relaxing even further. I knew by feeling pleasure when he gets ready to bite me it would be something out of this world.

 I closed my eyes tighter and a soft moan escapes my lips. My body arched to push his hands deeper. I was enjoying his touch a lot more than I ever enjoyed Joshua's.

"This is only the beginning." He murmured sexually. Please don't ever stop. He ripped my shirt along with my bra. He kept massaging and playing with my boobs, my nipples, arousing me to a point of desperation if he didn't bite me soon I might want the sex after all. 

I was crossing to a point of no return he needed to bite me now before I was the one that wanted more than the bite. Nathan leaned down towards me putting his lips on my neck. "Is this pleasurable enough?" He murmured against my skin. The vibration almost made me had an orgasm right then and there.

"Yes," I moaned. Nathan leaned down towards one of my boobs and bit hard breaking the skin. Before his bites were painful, but I was aroused to a point that it only felt like a love bite, he started drinking my bloodletting his saliva into my bloodstream I was lost in a pure ecstasy of pleasure. 

My hands when to his neck, then up towards his hair and grabbed two fists full of it pulling him down. A growl mixed with a moan escape his lips making him drink faster and greedily. Sending my self into euphoria.

Then I lost consciousness...

A/N: Hmm I know what you guys are thinking. Where is the strong independent Zoey? She's buried deep inside of her... I think. What do you guys think? Is she lost? Or will she come stronger from this and kick Nathan's butt?