Taehyung's POV.

I watch with hooded eyes, the red spilling over the ever-so-pure white. The innocent. The clean. The perfect.

The opposite of me.

But it's beautiful in a way.

The plush crimson dancing against the tiles that remain silent yet watchful, the soft touch of the paintbrush smearing its red over them.

I don't feel anything.

I don't feel the stinging that mingles over the skin of my stomach and arms.

I don't feel the blood trickling down my arm and dropping to the floor with a hushed hit.

I don't feel. And I like that.

I like the sense emptiness. Of numbness.

Of nothing.

It's a break from the chaos I live through outside. Outside of this bathroom that is smeared in the smell of apple scented shampoo.

A ghost of a smile flickers over my lips, eyes hooded as they run down hanging stomach that had once been clean from the lines that now litter the pale skin.

It's so ugly.

It's what I deserve. The sudden urge to rip away every layer of skin against my bones, flickers at my gut.

I didn't see a point anymore. A point to endure the torture of this world. This cruel, cruel world.

Nothing good came out of this world. It was only a game of chess.

There were the Kings and Queens that rule over the others, the very life of the other pieces clutched firmly in their fists.

The rooks, bishops and knights sacrificing their lives for the long life of their King and Queen, at their utter command, offered little reward for their achievements.

And last and very least were the pawns. The ones who were at their rule's mercy, tossed from side to side as if they were simply a dirty rag. They weren't considered as an individual nor being.

They were just there.

A mist in the cries of war between white and black. A sacrifice of blood that none would take highly too. A feeble play at win, almost always never being one to aid their kingdom to victory.

But even then, I would not be anywhere close to the standards of prawn. I lay feet below their fading line, feeble hands reaching upwards in pleads as the black of the hole sucks me in.

I am nothing.

__________________

"Tae! Wake up! Tae c'mon!"

It's the pleading tone of the voice that urges me to slowly open my heavy eyes, strong hands gripping my shoulders gently as they shook me.

Jungkook is standing over me, expression of utter stress as he places a warm hand against my lower back, aiding me to stand straight upon the bed.

He's dressed in washed jeans that are ripped excessively at the knees, paired with a black hoodie, a faint smell of after shave wafting in the air as he inches his face near mine.

"What's wrong?"I say raspingly, fingers curling at the bed sheets as I tug them up over my thin legs.

"They're leaving."he rushes, running a hand through his hair as he flings a pair of jeans at me, the heavy fabric landing just centimetres from me, "Surprise dance practice."

My limbs scream in protest at the words, having spent the entire day yesterday scrambling into positions and dancing in hope of improvement, disappointing as the result was.

Don't be a burden Taehyung. V taunts, a snicker echoing in the cavern of black. More than one you already are.

Biting down my disapproval, I blearily stumble to the bathroom, wrist extracted and hand enclosed over the cool doorknob.

"No time for a shower. Get dressed and meet me in the van."Jungkook snaps, irritation lacing his words.

Too late. V laughs gleefully. You're such a disappointed to this team. Always dragging them down.

Tears prickle at my eyes, the thought of Jungkook being upset at me, saddening me as I nod dumbly, the door slammed shut as he storms out of the room.

____________

I am not surprised when I scramble out of the dorm, the van is long gone.

I am not surprised from the scarce texts or calls from a certain member regarding my location.

I am not surprised from the lack of care.

It's an act that I have become accustomed to.

But the pain at the depths of my gut never ceased, a fists enclosing the fragile organ and clenching until the act of breathing was difficult.

Instead, I swallow back my tears and hail a cab, fingers trembling over the darkened screen.

The clouds are sobbing too, the great tears falling against the road with heavy plunks, rivers of misery dripping down the streets.

I thank the weather.

My own tears mingle with the ice cold liquid running down my shirt, the thin fabric clutching at my skin as the ice of the rain trickles down my scarred skin.

I arrive at the dance studio half an hour late, drenched and shivering.

My lips are blue now, deathly pale hands stuffed hastily into the pockets of the hoodie and thin body quaking in the wind.

The members watch me with disgusted eyes as I scurry into position, scoffing at the wet puddles against the shiny floorboards.

I don't dare glance at Jungkook, knowing well that his expression would presumably contorted into hate, my body too weak to process the displeasure from a member who had succeeded in fooling me once again.

"You'll be cleaning that when we're done. And I swear to God, if anyone slips because of that I'll beat the fucking shit out of you."Namjoon snarls, pointing roughly at the liquid collected at my ankles.

I offer a nod in response, ragged breaths falling from my lips as I soak in the heat from the heater meters away, eyes fluttering close.

The ice against my skin is like fire, digging it's nails into my skin and urging to me to perfect the moves, previous hours of watching the mirror before me as I practicing until my limbs were purple were beginning to flourish, despite the heated glares burning holes into me from the dance leader.

I spot the shocked gazes of the members, bodies halting to watch as I fling myself against the floorboards, dancing as if it was the only action worth living for.

My lips unconsciously widen into a joyful grin, as I eye Jimin's wide eyes, mouth hanging open in surprise.

But as they say, all good moment must come to an end.

As the music takes a turn, the beat softening their is a suspiciously fake squeal of surprise and a squeak on floorboards before a loud thud echoes across the room.

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I'm so sorry for the slow updates. I hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter! <3