This chapter mainly consists of Tae's flashbacks of his time with some of the members of BTS.

Taehyung's POV.

White.

That is all I see.

The walls. The bed. The drawers.

Just white.

I blink, my vision blurred. The back of my head throbs and I squeeze my eyes shut as the pain increases. My shoulder and side is aching too, as if someone had lit flame over my skin.

It takes me a moment to realise that I am in a hospital.

The memories of the previous dance session begins to flood inside my brain until I cannot bear both the physical and emotional pain I am feeling.

Hoseok had hit me. Kicked me. Bashed me repeatedly.

I had never been close with the members, yet I never would've thought that Hosoek himself would cause me physical harm. It was common for Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon to do so but never him.

It had been the first time.

And first times always hurt.

- Flashback -

A giddy grin tugs at my lips as I blow softly over the beverage.

Jimin had been especially moody the past few days, his insults towards me increasing in alarming rates and his behaviour to the others members were beginning to fade into a dull irritation.

Not just for my sake, but also the others, I had decided that I would make some sort of effort to cheer him. After distinctly remembering him complaining about the lack of caffeine in his bloodstream the other dance session, I decided to produce my friend with exactly what he wished.

The rest of the group was out, shopping at the mall. They had asked Jimin whether he wanted to come along but he had rudely turned them down. Somehow they had forgotten to ask me.

I shrugged it off as a simple mistake. The wellbeing of my hyung mattered more.

I quietly made my way up the stairs, hearing the distinct sounds of him moving around in his room and the soft music playing in the background.

My hand is on the doorknob now, and I twist it ready to open the door and greet Jimin with his favourite beverage but I am beaten to the task.

Jimin had already open the door just as I was to, and from the shock I had misplaced my footing and ended up spilling the tea over his white polo. He yelped, springing away from the doorframe and batting at his t-shirt which had a dark, sickening brown patch over it.

"What the fuck?"

I flinched away from the animosity in his tone.

"I'm s-sorry Jimin hyung."I stammered, hanging my head as if I were a scolded puppy.

He growled, swearing under his breath,"Just shut up. Damnit it fucking burns."

"I'm sorry."I repeated, beads of sweat beginning to form at my forehead as panic began to set at stomach,"I'm so sorry. Do you want me to get you some ice? I can - "

But my speaking is cut of with his fist. His clenched hand slams into my cheek and I am sent flying back, my back colliding with the floorboards.

His furious face emerges into view above me as he dug the tip of his toe into my hip.

"That's how much it hurts, dumbfuck. Make sure you don't pull that sort of shit again or it'll be worse."

He smirked at me, adding a harsh kick to my stomach before deciding that he had enough. And just like the others had once done, he left.

- End Of Flashback -

My cheekbone had been swollen the next day, yet the members stayed silent not asking where or who had given me the injury. Not to mention that my back had been bruised meaning that my dancing had been off.

Hoseok had been simply delighted to point this out.

- Flashback -

"Taehyung!"

I jerked my head to the direction of the voice to meet Jungkook's cold gaze. It pained me to see the maknae holding a grudge against me. The others had diagnosed him with same drug that caused them to hate me.

"Yes, Kookie?"I grinned.

He scowled,"I said don't call me that."

I pouted,"Alright, sorry."

He mumbled something on the lines of 'you better be' before continuing.

"Namjoon hyung wanted me to ask Yoongi hyung to come down for dinner, but since I can't be bothered to walk up the stairs could you go and ask him for me?"he snapped, seeming obviously disgruntled to have to be talking with me.

The thought is enough to have me in tears but I send him a weak smile nodding,"Yeah, sure."

He rolled his eyes, scoffing lightly before disappearing into the other room. I breathed out a deep sigh, closing my eyes as I allowed myself to be swallowed by the misery around me for a minute.

With heavy legs, I reluctantly pull myself up the stairs towards Yoongi's room.

Yoongi was the scariest out of them all. His cold demeanour and frightening stance aids him in presenting himself as a terrifying person.

However when he was around Jimin he would alaways act gentle and caring. It was strange scene to view yet it showed that even Yoongi, who was one of the most distant people I had ever met, did have a soft side to them.

With trembling and slightly hesitant fingers I push open the door to his room.

My eyes widened as I view the scene before me.

Yoongi is sprawled on the floor, only in his underwear. My eyes skim down his chest and long legs, and I feel my cheeks heating up.

Before I know it Yoongi has left to his feet, rushing towards me and pushing me roughly against the wall, bending my arm in an akward angle behind my back, forcefully.

I yelped in pain, writhing uncontrollably as I try and free myself from my trapped position. But my attempts are futile and only chase more pain in my arm.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?"he snarled, applying increasing pressure.

I am sure my arm will be bruised by the time he lets go.

"Let m-me go."

He sighed in frustration, pulling me away from the wall slightly, my arm still bent, and slammed me back against the wall. I groaned as my head began to pound.

"I said, what are you doing in here? Answer me!"

I blinked back my tears,"Namjoon hyung is calling you down for dinner."

A wash of comprehension covers his face, as he nods, stepping away from me, his own cheeks tinged light pink.

"Whatever."he snapped,"Next time learn how to fucking knock. Now get the fuck out of my sight."

- End Of Flashback -

My arm had been purple after his assault.

And yet, no one notices and even if they did, they don't care.

- Flashback -

There are times when I slip into Namjoon's studio.

It is either because I am there to comfort him on his emotional stress that gets to him after his disability  to produce a new song, give my feedback on a track or because I am simply too bored and I am in a search of a friend to play with.

There are times when I feel as though Namjoon doesn't actually hate me. In fact he acts as though he sees me as a genuine friend. Not just a band mate or someone he is forced to cooperate with.

The past few weeks have been difficult for him.

As our comeback was drawing closer and so he was forced into his studio, scribbling down sheets of music that he believed were pointless. It is heartbreaking to see him so stressed as he believes he is worthless as he cannot produce any music. Yoongi occasionally helps Namjoon but he too is usually cooped up in his own studio, rubbing his forehead as he mutters lyrics under his breath.

"It goes round and round na wae jakku doraoji."

I smile lightly as I hear him mumble lines of his music. I am standing outside his studio, my hand resting on the doorknob. There is a sudden scream of frustration and I frown, concerned for my hyung. The sound of things being thrown can be heard through the thin walls.

With increasing worry, I push the door open my eyes sweeping over the room as I search the cause of his disturbance.

Namjoon is standing in the middle of the room, his headphones ripped apart as they dangled helplessly at the base of his chair. His breathing is heavy, fists clenched at his sides and face red in fury.

His eyes swivelled to me and before I know it he is running towards me, slamming me against the wall, his hand clasped around my throat.

[A/N: Poor Tae, getting slammed into walls all the time]

I gasped, my fingers clawing at his hands as I try and pry them off my throat. My oxygen supply is getting cut off and I can already feel stars obscuring my vision as he hold me there a look of pure malice etched onto his expression.

"No wonder your parents left you!"he spat, tightening his grip as I choked, kicking our with my legs as I try and reach out to hit him so he would release me,"Who would want to deal with someone like you? You're always talking and jumping around! Do you ever get fucking tired? God, you're such a burden! BTS would be better off without you!"

"We don't need you! We never did! You're not even good at singing! Jungkook sings better than you and he's younger! Why are you such a disappointment Taehyung? Why can't you be like the others, huh? Why are you so fucking pathetic?"

I'm silent now, tears flooding down my cheeks as I count the seconds until I leave this earth. Namjoon scoffs as he sees the life leave my eyes, dropping me to the floor.

I collapses, my limbs sprawled against the rough surface as I gasp for my air. Namjoon walks out the room, slamming the door behind him as I lay helpless on the floor.

My throat is on fire and my tailbone aches. I whimpered, rubbing my neck as I try and stop my tears with Namjoon's words echoing in my head.

"I'm s-sorry."

___________________________________________________

But even now as I lay in this bed, I can't help but smile bitterly because in all honestly Namjoon is right.

BTS is better off without me. My parents don't need me. Why else would they decide that they had enough?

No one needs me.

Never had. Never will.