Taehyung's POV.

Thirteen.

Exactly thirteen cuts.

All carved respectively over my arms and thighs. My eyes are hooded as I asses the art I had created before me.

Disgusting.

Nothing would help. Nothing.

In the end I'm still the ugly boy who trailed behind others. The second choice.

Clean it up. Quickly. It is V who speaks, a tone of urgency and concern is his voice as the deep red begins to crawl and bite at my elbows, drenching the shirt I am wearing.

"I'm fine."I deadpan, eyes never straying from the pool of red.

Stop being selfish. The tiles will become stained from your blood.

I scold myself as I understand his words, stumbling to my feet as I mumble a string of apologies.

Shut up and clean this up, you worthless bitch!

"Okay."I stutter,"I'm s-sorry."

He only scoffs before disappearing, not forgetting to add a colourful insult.

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I don't go down to breakfast that morning.

I remain in my bed, body rigid, breathing shallow and eyes unblinking from the creamy patch on the ceiling.

My fists are clenched at my sides, nails digging into my palms and arms until the cuts that had I created which had previously begun to scab, reopen, a fiery sting erupting across my skin.

A choked sob leaves my lips, tears flooding down my cheeks. Hiccups or occasional groans of pain follow on, as I try and regain my breathing.

It had been the same dream.

But worse.

It had been the exact dream for now four night in a row. All of them would stand above me, jeering as I try and scramble to my feet. Their faces would slant, melting into the others as their uncharacteristically high pitched screams echoed of the never ending black.

Strings of insults and curses would fall from their mouth, screaming and yelling as they push out at me. Trapping me. Holding me in the world of pain. Of anguish.

It's terrifying.

Because I can't wake up from them. I can't escape. The moment I close my eyes they were back.

The screaming. The taunting.

Everything.

They would all come back, slamming against me as I try and hold onto the last specks of colour that were threateningly to fade into the dull black.

"Taehyung."

It's his voice that snaps me out of the haze of black that I have slowly fallen into.

It is only then do I realise that my fingers are curled around the base of my neck, nails digging into the sensitive skin as I gasped for breath.

"Taehyung!"he exclaims,"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He's at my side now, holding my hands that had once been wrapped around my neck. Broken cries fall from my lips, my body wracking from each sob.

Everything hurts.

My arms. Legs. Stomach. Neck.

I hate this. I hate the feeling of vulnerability I am experiencing as he holds me as I cry.

I want the pain to go. To go now.

I want to die. Anything to get out of the hurt I am feeling.

No one would care anyway. They would be delighted in fact.

The extra baggage on their load would be lifted as well. Their pay rise would increase. Their spendings would decrease.

They would be free.

So then why, why was I still here? Why was someone so useless, so pathetic still here?

"J-Jungkook."

It is amazing that I can somehow say his name through the tears that refuse to stop, ugly cries tumbling from my lips.

"Please."I beg, looking up at him through glassy eyes, bottom lip trembling,"P-Please...let m-me."

He is crying.

Tears are running down his cheeks, his once bright eyes now full of misery

Congrats. V drawls, rolling his eyes as he claps sarcastically. You made your crush cry. I didn't think it was possible to fuck things up that much.

Guilt pools at my stomach and I cry somehow harder, bawling into his chest as he wraps his arms around me.

I welcome his embrace. It had been a long time since I had been shown affection.

A spark of warmth ignites inside me as his athletic arms tightens around me, pulling me closer until I am practically straddling him.

I tense at the intimate position, my sobs smothered against my sudden shyness and caution. My cheeks are stained with tears, breath hitched and face tinted with a red hue.

We stay like that for minutes. Hours, maybe. Just holding each other as I cry into his chest. My cries have decreased to quiet sniffles, my eyes puffy and red, and voice raspy.

He takes me by absolute surprise as he burrows his head into the crook of my neck, grasping my hips as he drew me closer, until our chests are touching.

"I thought I'd lost you."he mutter against my neck, lips brushing over my skin ever so slightly.

"You looked as though you were going to d-die."he breathes out as he looks up at with glassy eyes,"Why would you do that Tae?"

From the back of the inky black that resembles my thoughts, I can hear V scoff as he snarls at Jungkook. Fucking idiot.

Was he defending me?

Don't get your hope too high, princess.

"I thought you d-didn't want me anymore."

He frowns, look down at the small gap between us and for a moment it seems as though he is smiling fondly.

There is silence as the air around us become increasingly tensed.

But only one thought stands out thorough the hazy grey that muddles in my mind.

He doesn't deny it.

He doesn't deny the fact that I had thought that members didn't want me.

Because it's true.

They didn't want me.

They wanted me gone. Gone from their vision. Gone from their touch. Gone from their lives.

"I'm s-sorry."he cries,"I'm so fucking sorry."

It's his sincerity that echos from the depths of his apology that makes me reach out, and tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling his face into my neck as he sobs.

"Shhh. Don't cry. I'm here Kookie."I mumble, running a hand through his brown locks.

We both freeze from my words, and I immediately leap out of his lap, curling into a ball on the floor as I wrap my hands around my head.

"I'm sorry! I meant Jungkook! Jungkook! I'm so sorry!"I cry out, pleading with him as I shield my body from any harm,"P-Please don't h-hurt me!"

He's going to him me. I know it.

He hated me calling him 'Kookie'. It had been the nickname I had come up with just after we had debuted, and the others members had been quick to catch on, they too calling him by his nickname. He didn't mind it but whenever I uttered his nickname he would become absolutely furious. He had never hit me though, yet he could be just like Hoseok. This could be the first time.

There is silence.

There is no loud footsteps making their way angrily towards me. There is no profanities or threats.

Nothing.

But then there is a sniffle. That grows. Grows into a dry cry. To a choked sob. Until he, Jeon Jungkook, was bawling loudly, tears bursting from his eyes as his body shook from every cry.

I lift my head hesitantly from the protective barrier I had created for it, with the aid of my hands.

Tears stream down his cheeks which are covered in a bright cover of shine, illuminated by the dim light of the dying light bulb. His eyes are now red and puffy, just like mine.

"Jungkook."I stutter carefully, still afraid that the younger will lash out, involuntarily,"Why a-are you crying?"

It seems as though what I had said seemed to make the brunette even more miserable, his sobs increasing alarmingly as he let out a surprisingly loud sob.

I am itching to pull him into a hug and comfort him like he had done to me but I am fearful that he will hit me.

I bite my bottom lip, eyes darting between the door and Jungkook's pitiful state.

My concern for the younger wins out and I rise to my feet, shakily, the world becoming suddenly very slow and slanted as I take careful steps towards him.

He is crying into his hands as I stand before him, a hand in mid air as I contemplate whether or not to use touch as a way to comfort him.

With crossed fingers I lay a hesitant and trembling hand on his shoulder blade.

Immediately his crying halts, stopping to low hiccups and sniffles.

My heart races as he looks up at me with his eyelashes that were wet with tears, and I can't help but flicker my eyes down towards his lips.

So full. So pink. So fucking tempting.

Concentrate Taehyung.

"Hyung."he giggles, waving a hand before my face.

Oh my God, that is the cutest thing I have heard. Holy -

"Hyuuuung! You're spacing out again."he pouts, poking me lightly in the cheek.

I flinch back but thankfully he doesn't notice. How long had I spaced out for his attitude to change so drastically, all the while thinking about his lips?!

"What are you even thinking about?"

I flush, my cheeks painted a bright red,"N-Nothing."

He hums, nodding as he licks his bottom lip,"If you say so, hyung."

Oh my fucking God.

There is silence after that, both of us just staring at the other. My heart thumps loudly in my ears and my palms are clammy as I watch his eyes flicker to my lips.

He is the first to break the silence,"Hyung, can I...can I hug you?"

My eyes widen in surprise and my mouth hangs as I stare openly at him for seconds.

A dejected expression etches onto his features and he smile sadly, sighing,"It's okay if you don't want to. I get it."

The familiar tug of guilts strums again, and I frown, quickly muttering my assent,"You know what, screw it. Go crazy."

A wide grin tugs at the corner of his lips and he lunges at me, arms wrapping around my mid section and legs tangling with mine. A startled yelp leaves my lips as we are both sent tumbling to the floor, hitting the soft carpet.

Laughter fills the room as we roll around, bodies intertwined and goofy grins displayed brightly on our faces.

But as they say all good things must come to an end.

The door is suddenly slammed open and a loud, thunderous voice booms across the walls of my small room.

"What the fuck is going on here?"
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Longest chapter I've written so far! Three more days till Tae's birthday! Can't wait! >.<