WARNING: This chapter includes self-harm. If you are not comfortable with such topics please do not continue with this chapter.

Taehyung's POV.

If I had thought that my performance at the dance session yesterday would've changed anything, I was deeply mistaken.

The members do not return to the dorm even when the clock hits twelve and all I am provided with is a few texts from Jungkook.

Kookie sent 11.59pm
Don't wait for us.

sent 11.59pm TaeTae
Why? Where r u guys?

Read at 11.59pm

sent 12.01am TaeTae
Kookie?

sent 12.04am TaeTae
Jungkook?

sent 12.05 TaeTae
Pls don't ignore me.

Read 12.06am

I give up after that.

There is no point. He will not answer.

I don't dare texting the others however.

Even Hoseok.

Just because he had been especially kind to meet at dance, allowing me to take a day off, I knew that it didn't mean he suddenly adored my presence.

I ignore Jungkook, and remain on the couch, my eyes growing heavier by every second.

I am determined not to fall asleep.

I will wait for them, like they would do in my dreams. In my deepest dreams. The dreams I treasured, when they would treat me like I belonged. A feeling I had never experienced.

I tug the thin blankets closer to me, wiping the drool from mouth with the back of my hand.

The clock reads four o'clock and still the members are not present.

Worry for my only family strums at my heartstrings and I find myself blindly reaching for my phone. At the moment I do not care about the consequences of texting such person. I don't care how long it will take for him to reply.

They just have to be safe.

sent 4.21am TaeTae
Where r u all?

Read at 4.37am

sent at 4.37am TaeTae
Ik u saw that, hyung

Turtle sent at 4.39am
Congrats. U can read.

sent 4.40am TaeTae
U answered!

Read at 4.40pm

sent at 4.42am TaeTae
Pls don't go Yoongi hyung :-(

Turtle sent at 4.44am
Why not? I have better things to do, anyway.

sent at 4.44am TaeTae
Ik...but I'm worried

Turtle sent at 4.46am
About what?

sent at 4.46am TaeTae
About you guys.

Turtle sent at 4.48am
What about us?

sent at 4.49am TaeTae
When r u guys coming home?

Turtle sent at 4.49am
Soon. But why r u worried about us?

sent at 4.50am TaeTae
It's nothing.

Turtle sent at 4.50am
No, tell me.

sent at 4.55am TaeTae
Do you have somewhere warm to sleep?

sent at 4.55am TaeTae
Food? Water?

Turtle sent at 4.56am
Don't try and change the subject, Taehyung.

sent at 4.56am TaeTae
Damnit, I'm just concerned okay?

Turtle sent at 4.57am
Try and be independent Taehyung. We can't be there for you all the time.

TaeTae is typing ...

TaeTae
You were NEVER there for me! |
You were NEVER there f|
You were NE|
Yo|

sent at 4.69am TaeTae
I'm sorry

Read at 5.00am

[A/N: If u guys didn't understand that the txt before Tae says sorry is what he was typing but then deletes. Sorry for the confusion]

There is nothing after that.

I cannot say such things to the members. Especially not Yoongi.

But I can't hope but bawl my hands in frustration. They had never shown any sort of affection towards me yet there Yoongi was claiming that they had been the ones to raise me. The ones to take care of me.

Be grateful you whore. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be where you are. V snarls from deep within.

He is right though.

Both Yoongi and Namjoon created great music that slowly pulled us to fame. Jungkook and Jimin who were the main vocals perfected every lyric. Hoseok spent hours in the dance room creating moves that brought our whole item together. Jin made sure that all of us were well fed and safe. Everyone but me, however I know he must've forgotten with the workload of the other five on his shoulders as well.

And then there was me.

The weird one. The alien.

I was useless.

I wasn't as good as singing as Jungkook and Jimin. I couldn't dance as well as Hoseok. I couldn't create big hit music like Yoongi and Namjoon. I couldn't cook food as well as Jin.

I didn't deserve this.

I find my feet raising by themselves, stumbling to the bathroom, making a bee line for the drawers.

Useless. Burden. Weighing down.

My hands fumble with the handle of the pearl white from the drawers, blindly grabbing the razor that sat innocently inside it. The rusted metal looked up at me with hooded eyes as if pleading for me to use it.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks as V continues to taunt me.

Die you worthless piece of shit. You fucked up bitch.

My back hits the side of the bathroom and I slide down the cool surface of the wall, my bottom hitting the cold sides with a soft thud. My eyes are fixed on the razor, hands turning the object gently in my hands as if I were inspecting it.

Fat. Selfish. Controlling. Annoying. Bitch.

I don't know what takes over me.

I don't even see as my hand as it presses the razor harshly against the back of wrist, pulling it down with force.

I don't feel the sting of the cold metal as it digs into my skin again.

I don't see the blood sweeping from my skin, pooling around me on the toilet.

I don't hear my sobs of pain as I repeatedly push the razor into every piece of skin I could see.

I don't taste that metallic taste of blood in my mouth as my body topless to the side, my jaw hitting the toilet floor.

I don't feel anything.