Destiel

-----
Cas-

Dean slammed the door of the impala, tearing down the gravel road, away from the bunker, away from me.

"I'm going to work that case with Sam.  I'll see if I'll come back when it's over."

"Dean! DEAN?!"

It didn't help. He was out of sight in minuets. I fell to the ground, and started punching the gravel till my hands bled.

"Dean... Please..." I whispered.

I sat on the ground until it was almost night fall. Then I weakly stood up and made my was inside. I could barely find the strength to move. I don't know what I did this time, but it made Dean so terribly mad.

The chairs were overturned, books thrown everywhere. I was going on a rampage. I flipped one of the tables, and tore through the kitchen, before falling back to the floor and crumpling to tears.

After who knows how long of anger and sadness, numbness seemed like the best option. I downed a six pack of beer, two bottles of whisky, and a ton of something with a sticky note on it that read 'FOR SHOTS ONLY'. I drank until I passed out, leaning against the upturned table.

When I woke up, it looked worse in here than I remembered. My coat was soaked in blood, as was the angel blade stuck in the wall.

"Wha..?"

Did I do this?

I asked myself, gingerly touching the gash in my side. I didn't have enough energy to heal myself, and trying to do so made me hurl the alcohol I had downed. I rushed to the bathroom so I didn't puke on the floor again.

When I had emptied my stomach, I leaned back against the bathtub. My head hurt, my stomach hurt, my side still hurt from whatever the hell happened there. Actually that was bleeding and hurting like hell. I tried to stand up, but black spots filled my vision, and I collapsed back to the floor. I heard my phone ringing from the other room, and I could tell it was Sam from the ringtone Dean set for him, 'Heat of the moment'. Sam hated it.

When I managed to stand up, I stumbled out grabbed my trench coat. I pulled the phone out of one of the inside pockets, the pain from my cut overwhelming me. I called Sam back.

"Cas?"

"You called?"

"Yeah, twenty times over the past five days!! Where the hell have you been?"

"Five days? I-I've been passed- Ah!"
Pain shot through my side.

"Cas? You okay?"

"Yeah. Headaches. I'm hungover as hell"

"Okay. Dean- Are you sure you're.. Cas are you hurt?"

"What? no! Why would you..?"

"You're breathing hard. And your talking is strained. You're hurt. What happened?"

"I- I really don't know.. I was drunk, I blacked out, I woke up, and I had this cut that reached from my shoulder to my w-waist."

"And you can't heal yourself?"

"I'm too weak.. Please, don't tell.."

"Tell who? Dean called a few days ago..."

"He's not with you? He said he'd be with you!"

More black spots filled my vision. I gasped in pain and grabbed the table.

"Cas! No, he never came by."

"Shit. Where do you think he could be?"

"I don't know. Cas, calm down. You're only hurting yourself."

Black completely consumed me. I collapsed to the ground, blacking out again. I could hear Sam on the phone, shouting, but I couldn't move. I was bleeding out. With the very last of my energy, I put my hand on my wound and did my best to heal it. I'd find out if it worked when I woke up.

When I came too, I was surrounded in blood but I wasn't bleeding anymore. I had healed myself, but the consequences were a huge headache and barely being able to stand. I did my best to clean up the bunker, then stumbled to my room to watch movies and cry into ice cream. My phone rang as I was settling in to watch 'Breakfast Club'. It was Dean. I ignored the call and started the movie.

My phone rang twice more before I heard a voice in my head.

Cas, if you're okay, I need you to call me. Text me. Call Sam. He told me something was wrong and if you don't- I- if you don't contact me I'll come by the bunker to make sure you're okay. I- I'm- sorry, Cas.

I texted him so I wouldn't have to actually talk.

I didn't want to talk

-OKAY THERE WILL BE A PART 2 IM JUST TIRED OF THIS PARTICULAR ONE-