It took me five years to at least confess. Why, you may ask? Because I was scared. Scared of humiliation, rejection, and discrimination. I was scared to be called gay and homo, which may be true, but yet they are still hurtful when used in the wrong way. I was suppose to be that tough guy, with leather and sunglasses, that rode a badass car. And I was. But the only thing that changed was my love for one man.We met at a gas station, we worked there full time. I just happened to be driving into that town with my brother, Sam, for a job. When my car was running low on some fuel, we stopped at the gas station. I got out and went in the building to pay for the gas. And that's when I saw him. Standing behind the cash register. He finished with one customer and looked up to me. His smile wiped off his face as we made eye contact. I walked over to the counter, not breaking the trance he obviously was in.

"M-May I help you?" He stuttered, glancing down, and looking back up to me to stay professional.

"Sixty in gas, please." I replied, taking out my wallet and placing twenty dollar bills on the counter. He took the cash and put it in the machine, pressing a few buttons, and then turned back to me to say that the gas can be put now. At that moment, I texted my brother to go ahead, that I was going to stay in for a bit. I looked back up with a smile. "So, what's your name?" I asked.

"Sir—" He started, before I cut in.

"Let me guess, Steve, right?" I added. He gave me a look and shook his head.

"My name is Castiel." He corrected me. I stared into his eyes, and how blue they looked. Forget Percy Jackson, these eyes were something else.

"Castiel, huh? Rad." I smiled again, causing him to do the same and look down.

"Did you need anything else, or did you just stay to butter me up?" He asked, sighing a bit.

"Actually, I did need your help to find the price of an item." I replied, resting against the counter. He gave me a confused look.

"And what would that be?" He said, fixing his royal blue vest that he wore over his white buttoned up shirt.

"Your heart." I lifted my eyes to him. He gave me a shocked look, that slowly changed into a bashful expression. He fiddled with his thumbs as a smile grew.

"Well, if you're planning to stay in town, you can give me a call." He pulled a pen out of a cup nearby and wrote on a posted note. He slid the small paper to me. I licked my bottom lip and stuck it in my pocket.

"I am now." I responded, giving him a wink before turning and walking toward the door.

"Wait! I didn't get your name!" I heard him call out to me. I faced him, and saw how he was leaned over the counter, so he could see me. I grinned, and looked up to him.

"I'm Dean. Dean Winchester."

And that's how we met. Later that night, I did call him, and we had a full conversation just talking about anything. Sam ignored me, he was too busy concentrating on his laptop. We talked about our lives, our past, or expectations for the future, and our dreams. He was so fulll of them, how much he wanted to get out of that gas station, and go to college to get his degree in teaching so that he can teach History. I listened to him, on how much he loved the history of the world, and how he wished he was there to see everything happen. I smiled, hearing his voice, and to all his imaginations. When he turned the tables and asked about me, I said I wanted to be out of my stupid family buisness, and become the owner of a great dealership, selling and marketing cars of the now and then. Become successful, and be recognized all over the world. Castiel was so amazed by me, how much I thought it out. I would say that I haven't, that I literally just came up with it. And be would laugh, and I could hear him on the other end, and it would cause me to smile.

After a week or so, we would meet in person. We would take my car and just go anywhere. Either to a field, behind a movie theater, or just walking around in town. We'd talk, and crack a few jokes, causing each of us to laugh our asses off. I never told Sam about Castiel, then yet, he never seemed to notice—according to my knowledge. One night, I met up with Castiel on a park bench. It was chilly that night, so I was wearing at least three layers of clothing. He showed up in a black suit and navy tie, and a tan trenchcoat over. I asked up what the whole get up was for, and he said he was at a job interview a while ago, and didn't get the chance to change. He sat next to me, and asked me how I was. I said I was alright. He smiled at me, his messey hair that just appeared to look right, adjusted in the breeze. In that moment, just looking at him, I couldn't take it anymore. I leaned closer to him, glancing at his lips which I so desperatley wanted to touch with mine. He looked at me, and repeated my action. I stopped at the point where our noses were touching. His eyes were closed at this point, and he was just waiting for me to make the move. What kept me from it? I redirected my lips to kiss his cheek. He opened his eyes and looked at me, as he smiled small. I could feel the disappointment off him.

I convinced Sam to let us stay in that town. And surprisingly, he agreed. We got a small apartment, each of us finding jobs in order to pay for it. He got a job at a bar, while I filled in at a car and machinery. I sold parts, fixed things, the auto buisness. But other than that, I got to see more of Castiel. He quit at his job at the gas station, and was able to enrolled into school. It's been almost two years since we met, so he was able to substitute with the small amount of college he got. Getting small tastes of a classroom and schools. Teaching what he loved the most, History. Sometimes he would visit me at my job, surprising me with lunch or just small talk. And everytime, he's been hoping for that kiss. But I never gave it. Only some on the cheek, or embraces. I could tell it was killing him little by little. But my own pride never gave me the courage to just do it.

Three years more, we'd always grab lunch, dinner, whatever, just so we can talk like we always do. He already was on his fifth year in college, working on his Masters. He studied so hard, making sure he passed every test, so he can achieve his goal. He had small bags underneath his eyes, he looked thinner, and he seemed pale. I worried about him, making sure he was eating or sleeping right. And he would say that he was just fine. Afterwards, we'd both walk to my car, that was parked in the middle of the parking lot, shining against the moonlight and the stars. We'd both get in and sit there, silent for a moment. I looked over to him, to catch him playing with his thumbs again, just like the day I first met him. I took a deep, silent breath.

"Cas." I called. I gave him that nickname years ago, and he's grown to be used to it. He lifted his head to look at me, his blue eyes brightly gleaming in the moonlight. I had goosebumps crawling all over me, and butterflies flying like crazy in my stomach.

"Yes Dean?" He replied, with his tired voice, and tried to force a small smile.

"No more talk of darkness. Forget your wide eyed fears I know you have. I'm here, with you beside you, my words will warm and calm you," He stared at me, listening. "Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry the tears you've shed, I'm here, with you, to guard you and to guide you."

He gave me an upset look, tears threatening to fall. He spoke, his voice breaking," T-Then say you love me every waking moment... T-Turn my head with talk of summertime... Say you need me with you now and always, promise me—that all you say it true.... That's all I ask of you." I stared at him. How much love he had, and how he could tell I was keeping it back. Tears began to roll down his cheeks, as he sighed, trying to hide them from me. Right there and then I leaned over to hold his face, and wiped away the solitary tears he wept. He looked into my eyes, and they begged. I couldn't help but feel guilty, as I gently filled in the gap between us, and placed my lips on his. Finally. Over five years, I gave him our first kiss. He closed his eyes, and melted into my arms, deepening it. From there on, I pulled him into the backseat, and laid him down, while I still kissed him.

He held my sides, as one of my hands held onto his neck, and the other on the seat of the car. I could feel his cold hand slide up my back, underneath my shirt. He was more than ready for what he was thinking. I pulled back to take off my jacket, and slipped off my shirt. He stared at my body, how toned I was from work I do. He stared at the tattoo I had on my left pectoral. I said it was something both me and my brother got, like a protective ward. He smiled and nodded. I sat him up a bit, and pulled off the long sleeve he had on. It was getting close to fall, so the temperature was dropping. I kissed him again, pressing my tongue into his mouth, to taste the coffee he was drinking earlier. He wrapped his arms around my neck, as I began to undo his belt. I grabbed both his boxers and pants, pulling them off with ease, and tossing them in the front seat. I stopped and glanced down to him, seeing him bare for the first time. He looked up to me, smiling, and biting his lower lip, using his eyes for me to remove my clothes. And I did so, as he covered his eyes playfully and chuckled softly.

Then I grabbed him by his waist, he looked to me and I could see the blush forming on his face. I drew him closer to me, as I lowered myself onto him. I ran my hand down his thigh until I came to his knee, and picked up his leg from behind it. He gave a small yelp as I entered him, and moving in a slow pace. He held onto my jawline, moaning softly against my mouth. I contiuned slow, but went in harder, making him moan louder, and claw into my shoulders. He'd whisper my name a couple of times, and it would drive me insane. I kissed him again, practically smashing my face against his. He'd grip onto the back of the front seat, and the top of the back seat, as he took in every hard thrust I gave him. We reached the ceartain point when he started to curse God, and just let out long moans. He rested his head backward, on the backseat, as I sucked on his neck.

"Say you love me..." He turned his head to look at me. I kissed him again, to only say:

"You know I do." And he smiled, tears of joy forming, that I finally admitted it after all these years.

"That's all I asked of you." He replied, stammeringly. And it was true. I loved him. Every little bit, after all this time, I always loved him. Right now, I didn't care of what anything thought of me. We loved each other, and that's all that mattered to me. I swallowed my pride to confess my love, and yes, it made one Castiel's dreams come true. And partially one of mine.

To weeks, after that night, that I would remember and imagine in my head, the love we shared. I needed to tell Sam. Now that I consider Castiel a part of my life, he at least needs to know. So that day, I sat up in my bed and looked at him. His long hair was pulled back into a hair tie, causing only his bangs to fall forward. His eyes were fixated on his laptop, which he always had, and he was in his boxers and a T-shirt. He had a beer in his hand, which meant I've been asleep for at least till mid-day. I called on him, and he looked up to me, his darker green-brown eyes filled with innocence.

"What's up?" He replied, taking another sip out of his beer, and glanced at his screen. I took a deep breath again.

"I need to talk with you... Close your laptop, please." I said softly, avoiding eye contact. He gave me a confused look and closed it anyway, facing himself toward me.

"What's wrong? Did something happen at work or—" He tried to ask before I interrupted him.

"I'm gay." I blurted out, just to get it over with. "I feel in love with a man five years ago, and I made you agree we can stay here so I could be with him, and I finally confess my profound love for him two weeks ago—" I rambled, but Sam called on me. I stopped and faced him.

"Dude, I know." He scoffed. "Do you think I'm stupid? I hear your conversations, I see the way you act, and I know he visits you at work, I saw him a couple of times." I was in shock. He knew all along. And not once he ever brought up the subject.

"But..."

"Dean, I'm your brother. I'll always be your brother. And although I don't play for your team, I'll still love you. Because you're my brother." He shrugged, giving a soft smirk. I smiled small, screaming inside my head at myself not to cry.

"Thanks Sam." I replied. He nodded his head. Shortly after, my phone rang. I reached over and picked it up from the dresser and pressed talk. "Hello?" It was a woman. She asked me if I knew who Castiel was. "Yes. I know him, why?" My eyes widened when she answered. "I'll be right there." I said quickly and hung up. I hopped out of bed and searched for my clothes, quickly putting them on when I found them.

"What happened?" Sam asked, concerned of my sudden movement.

"It's him Sam," I said, struggling to put on my jacket. "He's in the hospital."

Once I got to the hospital, I demanded to see Castiel. They lead me right toward him. I walked into his room and I saw him, a cut on his lip, bruises on his face and a cast on his left arm. My heart dropped as my eyes laid upon him. He was hurt badly, and it pained me. Every beep the EKG made, was like a bullet through my body. I walked over to the other side of him, sitting on the chair and I held his hand. He flinched and looked at me, a painful smile grew.

"D-Dean.." He spoke timidly, and raspy.

"Hey Cas. I'm here. I rushed over here as soon as I got the call..." I answered quickly. "What happened?"

"A truck..." He coughed. "Slammed into my c-car on my way home from c-class..." My heart kept dropping. Tears fell from my eyes, as I gripped onto his hand.

"Are you going to be alright? Or—"

"I'm going to be f-fine Dean. Don't worry." He kept his smile, as his eyes watered.

"But I can't stop. You're in here, I wont be able to think about anything else..." I cried.

"I'll only be h-here a little bit. That's all..." He brushed my fingers with his thumb, and he looked at me with his blue eyes. Those blue eyes were in pain. So much pain.

"Cas..."

"Say you love me." He added.

"You know I love you..." I replied, my lip quivering.

"That's all I ask of you." He smiled fully, disregarding the pain he must have for doing so. I got up and kissed him, and he kissed back, with every bit of strength he had. The nurse called me out and told me he was going to be okay. That he was going to be bedridden because of all the fractured bones, but that he should be up and about in no time. I sighed, and thanked her. I looked back at Castiel, his eyes were closed, as he tried to rest on that uncomfortable hospital bed. I can just imagine all of the wishes he'd make just so I can lie next to him, and hold him, and tell him that I love him every five minutes. And I would, but like every regular person, I had work to do. I would call him everyday, to his room, to tell him I love him, and say everything gonna be okay. I would visit occasionally, and Sam went once too, just to meet him for the first time—even if it was a horrible way to meet. And he'd smile, and laugh, like if he never had the accident in the first place. And I looked at him, enjoying every single second of it. Every single second, of the man I fell in love with.

Today, a year later, I rise out of bed, and make my way around the house, trying not to wake up Sam. I go through my closet to pull out pants and a shirt, and put them both on. I slide on some socks and shoes, making sure each one was tied properly. After all that, I walk out and into the hallway, and toward the door, grabbing my jacket from coat rack, and slipping onto it. I grab my keys and and step out. I drive my car out into the countryside of the town, with all the fields and trees. After a while, I park the car in an open field. I step out and set my feet up on the ground, staring at the blue sky. How it was no match for Castiel's eyes. I walk out into the grass, hearing all the crunches my shoes made as I took each step. Then I would stop, and burst into tears, asking and cursing God. I fall to my knees, to look at the tombstone in front of me. Tears falling like a rainy day. I place my hand on the top, and slide it across and down the stone, reading Castiel's name. I could hear his voice in my head asking me, 'Say you love me'. And I would answer aloud, looking down, as if he was actually talking to me,"I will always love you." And I would look up to his tombstone again, that said enscripted into the stone:

That's all I ask of you.