Ok so remember when I felt all not-110%-crappy like yesterday or whatever day it was recently? Down-fucking-hill from there that's for damn sure.

Allow me to explain the picture above. Well... one of my IG friends, @/alex_is_a_sassy_bitch, recently... god it's difficult to even say that word... she, well, took her own life. And I don't know what to fucking do. I don't know what to feel. I wish I'd gotten to know her better, maybe I could've noticed how close to the edge she really was. I just wish there was something I could've done or said that could have made a difference. But Alex is gone. There's nothing I can do now.

So I'm trying to get a hashtag trending in her memory, since it's the least I can do to make sure that she will never be forgotten. It the above picture with #alexwillalwaysberemembered in the caption. Idk maybe we could do that elsewhere? On other websites I mean. It would mean so much to me and everyone who was good friends with Alex.

Also I feel like, on IG, every time I say something nice, or give words of encouragement, or think I've made a friend, they unfollow me or even go so far as to fucking block me. Like what the fuck did I do to them?? Whatever, I'm fucking people repellent apparently 😒 idk why I even try, I'll never be nice again. That'll be difficult actually.

I swear one of these days I'm gonna fucking scream off a fucking rooftop. If I ever find the work ethic and feel like leaving my house. I doubt it.

I'm just really suddenly falling apart, and with school coming up too. Gr8 😒 can I just delete my life jfc why school 😣

I don't want to go to school tomorrow when I feel like everything is going wrong for me very quickly. I'm just absolutely miserable. Go away edumacation 😑 no one likes you anyway.

Idk I just sorta feel numb everywhere. I don't want to move anymore. I don't want to live in a world where you get fucked sideways just for trying to make other people's lives better and brighter. Like why is that a thing?

Why do people have to hate me so

Why do I hate myself so

Why do these things happen to me

Whatever. I don't want to feel anything anymore.

Peace off... you know the rest.