A/N: WARNING. SEASON 14 SPOILERS! 

*feels* But I gave you something to laugh at if you make it to the end

Jack wasn't sure how much longer he could take it, hiding this secret.

Cas had given himself up for Jack. He had basically sold away his soul to the Empty- sold away his future, his life. All for Jack.

Cas was going to die. The Empty was going to come one day, when the angel was blissfully happy, and he was going to kill him and drag him into that horrible place and never let him go again. Never to be seen or rescued ever again.

That thought alone was enough to make anybody feel sick to their stomach. But Jack thought it was twice as bad considering that Sam and Dean had no idea about it.

Dean didn't know that Cas was basically dying.

That's what Jack couldn't take. He had heard the phrase ignorance is bliss before, but he didn't truly understand its meaning until he saw Dean laughing with Cas, having no idea that the second Cas let himself be happy, the Empty would come and kill him.

This secret was eating away at Jack. He knew it was bothering Cas too, but Cas was also a full angel. They were great at hiding emotions, or just not having them at all. Jack knew that Cas had also been down this road before. This is what the Winchesters did. They did something awful in order to save the ones they loved, and then didn't tell their family until it was too late to save them.

But Jack was still new to that. The idea of keeping a secret like this from Sam? From Dean? It was practically impossible. Jack had no idea how Cas managed to keep a plain face, let alone smile or laugh with them.

This stupid secret was what kept Jack up at night. He didn't want to lose Castiel. Not again. But if he had to stay miserable to stay alive, then wasn't that worse? What kind of a life was that?

But it turned out that Cas's secret deal wouldn't be kept much secret much longer.

Jack had a nightmare. A horrible nightmare, where the Empty tore through the bunker, slaughtering them in front of Cas, who begged and begged to die, for them to be spared, but the Empty never listened, until it had murdered everyone else, and it finally took Castiel away.

Jack woke up screaming, which, of course, led to the Winchester's instincts kicking in.

Sam, Dean, and Cas burst into the room a second later, the Winchesters already having their guns drawn, only to lower them with a sigh of relief when they noted that Jack wasn't dying and nothing was there attacking him.

"Jack?" Sam asked worriedly, tucking his pistol away. Jack looked over at them, panting slightly, his eyes wild as he studied them.

Sam, ever the concerned mama, was eyeing him carefully, still in his pajamas. 

Dean looked skeptical in his sweatpants, missing a shirt for reasons Jack didn't want the answer to, and his gun was still in his hand, just in case something jumped out.

Cas looked quizzical and slightly confused, and was dressed, oddly enough, not in his trench coat get up, but rather in a pair of flannel pants and one of Dean's T-shirts.

"Nightmare," Jack offered. "Sorry." 

"Don't be sorry." Dean insisted, putting away his gun. "Happens all the time." Sam frowned.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Jack was a young Winchester, not yet hardened by the hunting life. He still shared his feelings willingly, instead of having to be tied to a chair and threatened to lose a certain body part if he didn't admit that he was miserable with his life and was in love with an angel.

.....Not that Sam would ever tie someone in a chair for that reason though....

Jack thought back to his dream, the terror still fresh in his mind. He glanced at Cas and looked even more scared. He couldn't keep this in any more. He knew Castiel would be mad that he had told, but Dean needed to know. And Sam too. But mostly Dean, Jack thought, because the loss of the angel would devastate him the most.

"I can't." Jack shook his head. "I can't keep it a secret anymore."

"Keep what a secret?" Dean questioned. Jack looked pleadingly at Cas, who stared intently at him, silently praying he wouldn't.

"You have to tell them, Castiel." Jack declared.

"Jack, no." Cas whispered.

"They need to know!"

"Know what?" Dean demanded, turning to look at Cas. Sam glanced between the angel and Jack, not sure what they were talking about. 

"Nothing," Cas muttered.

"If you don't tell them, I will." Jack warned.

"No!" Cas insisted. The Winchesters stared at him, and Cas wished he were anywhere but here. The truth would break Dean's heart. Shatter him completely. He glanced between the two men, knowing that not saying anything would be bad, but saying the truth would be worse. 

"Can...." Cas started. "Can I have a minute alone with Jack, please?" 

"Fine." Sam said sharply, not entirely trusting him at the moment. Dean looked slightly hurt, but he followed his brother out of the room, and Cas shut the door behind them.

"Why won't you just tell them?" Jack questioned.

"Because they deal with enough as it is." Cas proclaimed. "Dean and Sam have been through more awful things in their lives then anyone ever should, and that takes a toll on a person, Jack. But for once, Dean is happy. He's smiling and laughing instead of drowning in self-loathing and grief, and it's been years since I last saw him like that. Telling him the truth would shatter that, Jack, and he'd waste away trying to find a way to save me, but you and I know very well that there isn't a way. I don't want to be the reason Dean stops smiling again."

"But it would hurt him more in the end if you didn't tell him." Cas sighed.

"And that is the endless struggle."

"What about Sam? Can't we tell him, if he swears not to tell Dean?" Cas paused, pondering it. Sam would understand Cas's reluctance to tell Dean, and maybe he could help them find a way to explain to Dean why it was best if he didn't know. After all, no one knew Dean quite like his brother.

"Alright." Cas agreed. He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. Dean was gone, Cas noted with a pang, but Sam stood stubbornly outside, looking at Cas warily.

"Where's Dean?" Cas asked.

"Went back to his room." Sam said shortly. Cas sighed.

"Come on," he gestured, and Sam followed him back into Jack's room, shutting the door behind them.

"What's going on?" Sam demanded.

"Nothing we're about to say can get back to Dean." Cas ordered. "Not one word, Sam Winchester."

"Why?" The moose questioned.

"Because it'll hurt him." Jack offered.

"Because I need to be the one to tell him." Cas explained. "He'll take it best if he hears it from me, privately." If Dean heard this from someone else, it would not end well. And if he heard it somewhere public, Cas knew he'd never let out any emotions about it, and Dean already had too many things bottled up inside him.

"Alright, fine." Sam agreed, curiosity getting to him. 

"Do you remember when I died?" Jack asked. Sam winced.

"Of course." He insisted.

"Well, let's just say his return had a few more complications then you know about." Cas offered. "The Empty broke into heaven and demanded Jack because he's half angel and the Empty thought that meant he belonged to her."

"But Cas made a deal with it instead." Jack went on. "Kinda like a crossroads deal, but for an angel."

"You what?" Sam's eyes widened.

"The Empty wants me more then it wants Jack. I'm the one that escaped; I'm the one it's after." Cas explained. "So I offered to take Jack's place, and it accepted."

"How long do you have?" Sam asked worriedly.

"The Empty said it would come for Cas when he's forgotten about the deal." Jack continued. "When he finally allows himself to be completely happy, that's when it will come and take him."

"That's..... horrible." Sam breathed. "Cas, how could you-"

"It was the only way to save Jack." Cas insisted. "You know you would have done the same thing for him, or for Dean." Sam fell silent, knowing he was right.

"Or for Cas!" Jack piped up. "Right, Sam? You'd do it for Cas too, right?" 

"Of course," Sam agreed, causing Cas to blink in surprise. He didn't think Sam cared that much about him. The younger Winchester looked over at him. "Dean would be a mess without you."

"He's a mess without you too." Cas offered. 

"Well, maybe there's a way to get you out of the deal," Sam insisted. "I can look into the lore-"

"Don't bother." Cas shook his head. "It'll only make the Empty more vengeful, and I don't want it coming after you all once I'm gone."

"But we can't just let you die!" Jack declared.

"Yes," Cas countered. "You can. You have to."

*******

When Cas finally got back to Dean's room, he was unsurprised to find the elder Winchester laying on his bed, his arms crossed, waiting.

"I'm sorry," Cas apologized, knowing Dean was mad at him, even if he didn't know the full story.

"You're family, Cas." Dean declared. "You can tell me anything."

"I know." He insisted, sitting down next to Dean.

"Then what are you hiding?" Cas fiddled with his hands.

"I don't want to say."

"Why not?"

"Because it'll hurt you."

"Oh, and I haven't been hurt before?" Cas looked over and winced at the look in Dean's eyes. The hunter wasn't mad at him, he was hurt. Hurt that Cas wouldn't trust him.

"I don't want to upset you."

"Well, too late, you've already done that."

"Well then I don't want to upset you more."

"The only way you could upset me more is by not telling me." Dean got up, storming towards the door of the room, obviously done with the conversation.

"Dean-" Cas started.

"You don't want to trust me? Fine." Dean snapped. Cas sighed.

"Dean, I'm dying." Dean stopped at the door and he turned to look the angel in the eye.

"What do you mean?" He whispered, looking fearful.

"I made a deal with the Empty that it would take my life instead of Jack's, and it agreed to take me back to the Empty once I've forgotten about the deal and allowed myself to be completely happy. So, in a sense, I'm dying. It could be today, it could be centuries from now. But one day, the Empty is going to come, and it will kill me and take me away forever." Dean stared at the angel, his face unreadable. He stepped forward, looking unsure before finally replying.

"Well...." Dean offered. "I'll go with you." Cas's heart nearly shattered at the familiar words. It was getting hard not to burst into tears.

"No," Cas shook his head. "You should never be in that place."

"And neither should you." Dean insisted. "If you're dying Cas, fine. But then I'm dying with you this time."

"Dean, no."

"Why not?"

"Because you're needed here." Cas declared. "Sam needs you. Jack needs you- Heck, the entire world needs you, Dean."

"And it doesn't need you?" Dean accused. "You're just as important as I am, Cas, probably even more."

"No I'm not." Cas retorted. "I'm just another angel, Dean. The affairs of my life don't alter the world in some major way. Not like you. You need to stay here, if not for my sake, then at least for Jack and Sam's." Dean thought that, pondering the words the Empty had said.

He hated this. Hated it all. Cas was going to die, or he had to be miserable to live. What kind of a life was that?

But if Dean had to hurt him to save him....

"Maybe there's a way to keep the Empty from coming for you," He suggested. "We could bind it to the Empty itself, so it can't come and retrieve you-"

"Dean, no."

"Or we- we could make a demon deal! My soul in exchange for the deal getting called off. I'm sure the demons could find a way to make the Empty agree, and then-"

"I am NOT letting you sell your soul for me, Dean Winchester." Cas said fiercely. "I pulled you out of hell to help the world, not so you could dive back into the place."

"Then- then we'll search the lore! Surely there's got to be something we can do. We could-"

"There's nothing you can do, Dean." Cas said gently. "It's just something that's going to happen."

"No." Dean shook his head. "I'm not letting you die, Cas. Not again."

"You don't have a choice."

"There's always a choice!" Dean yelled. "There has to be a way!"

"Dean, just stop!" Cas pleaded, covering his face with his hands. This isn't what he wanted. Dean would do anything to save him, Cas knew. No matter how awful, and no matter the cost.

And judging by what he'd done for Sam in the past, Cas was a little afraid of what Dean would do for him.

An idea was forming in Dean's mind. A horrible idea. The worst idea he thought he'd ever had, but it had a good chance at sparing Cas from the Empty, he thought.

"What if-" Dean's voice cracked. Cas slowly looked up at the hunter, and he winced at his expression. Dean looked like his heart was about to shatter. There were tears brewing in his eyes. "What if you stayed away from me?"

"What?" Cas whispered, the idea alone too horrifying for him to imagine. He loved Dean. Dean was everything. Dean was-

Dean was his happiness.

And if he wasn't happy, then the Empty would never come for him. 

"If you stop seeing me," Dean went on, shaking slightly. "Just, cut me out of your life, then maybe the Empty won't come and-"

"No." Cas pleaded. "Dean, no."

"It's the only way I can think of, Cas."

"No!" Cas declared, tears going in his own eyes. "I won't do it!"

"Then I will." Dean offered. He would, Cas realized. Dean would leave him. He would go and disappear, just to keep Cas safe, even if it broke both their hearts and made them miserable forever.

"Dean, please, no." Cas begged. 

"If it will save you-"

"SCREW BEING SAVED!" Cas shouted. "A life without you isn't worth living! I'm not going to leave you, Dean, and you're not going to leave me because if hat happens then I might as well just stab myself and give myself over to the Empty because it'd be better then living and knowing I could never see you again." Dean winced, but he knew Cas was right. Separating would only kill them both.

And then Dean did the last thing Cas ever expected him to.

He dropped down on the edge of the bed and cried. He was shaking and sobbing, and Cas thought the sight might just shatter him completely as he got up and wrapped his arms around the hunter, attempting to soothe him.

"I don't want to lose you again." Dean whispered, hugging the angel tightly. "I can't."

"I know." Cas murmured back. "We'll figure it out, Dean. Somehow."

"You're lying."

"I know."

"Why?" 

"Because I want you to stop feeling this pain, and you told me that when people want something really bad, they lie." And despite of everything, Dean choked out a small laugh.

"We're gonna be okay, Dean." Cas insisted. "It's all gonna be okay."

********

Quietly, Sam doused a room in gasoline. Then he set up a table and a chair. He put a cup of coffee on the table and sat down. Then he struck a match.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked worriedly. Sam blinked at him.

"Everything's fine." He declared, dropping the match. The room burst into flames, and an annoying fire alarm went off. Jack screamed, and Sam casually reached for his coffee.

"This is fine." Sam insisted. "I'm okay with the events that are unfolding currently." He sipped the coffee and the table burst into flames. "That's okay."

Jack stared at him in horror.

"Things are gonna be okay," Sam announced, melting.