Set in AU where Dean and Cas have a five year old daughter named Hadley, Cas is human, but they still live the hunting life

"Are you sure you two will be okay here on your own?" Dean questioned. He didn't deny that he was nervous about leaving Cas alone with a five-year old. Cas himself could be a giant five-year old at times. But he and Sam had a case to take care of, and Hadley was far too young to be brought along on a case.

"We'll be fine Dean." Castiel insisted. "Don't worry."

"Yeah Dean." Hadley agreed. "I'll take care of Cassie for you." Cas frowned. Dean smiled at the little girl.

"Alright. But you guys call me if you need anything, okay? If there's a problem or you have a question-"

"We got it." Cas declared. "Go on. The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll be back."

"They'll be okay." Sam agreed. "Come on Dean." The hunter hesitated a moment before giving in.

"Fine. We'll be back in a couple weeks." He hugged Hadley goodbye and gave Cas a quick kiss before heading towards the door.

"No wild parties while we're gone!" Sam teased, shutting the door behind him.

"No promises!" Hadley called.

*~*~*~*

The next day, Castiel and Hadley discovered their first problem.

Breakfast.

The two of them stood in the kitchen, staring at the appliances. Dean always made breakfast. It never had occurred to either one of them to learn how to make it themselves.

"So...." Cas began. "Do you know how to cook anything?" Hadley raised an eyebrow and stared up at her guardian.

"Cassie, I'm five." she explained. "The only thing I can make is cereal."

"Well, let's see if we have any of that." Cas checked the cabinets, to no avail. Hadley frowned.

"Come on Cas. We've seen Dean make food enough times. Surely we can figure this out."

"...Dean always did say that cooking was about experimenting..."

"Then let's try! I'll cook up some eggs, and you can make some toast!" Castiel grinned down at the little girl.

"Okay. Let's try it."

******

Meanwhile, in a diner in Wisconsin, Sam and Dean sat down for a breakfast of their own. A meal that was quickly interrupted by the ringing of Dean's cell. He glanced down at the caller ID and picked up.

"Hey Cas," he greeted his husband. Sam watched on, curious to what the ex-angel had done already.

"Hello Dean," Cas replied, as he stared at the toaster in confusion. "I have a question."

"Shoot."

"How do you work the toaster?"

Dean sighed.

"Well, you put some bread in it,"

"I did that."

"And then you set the timer. Just turn it past the halfway point and then watch the bread. When it's cooked enough for your liking, turn off the timer, WAIT for the toaster to cool off, and then take out the bread."

Sam grinned, bemused as Dean explained.

"Okay. I think it's working."

"So you're attempting to make breakfast?"

"Yes. Hadley is making eggs, and I was put in charge of the toast."

Dean's face dropped into a deadpan expression.

".....Cas."

"Yes?"

"You put a five-year old in charge of the stove?"

"Yes.......Should I have not done that?"

Dean facepalmed as Sam grinned and took a sip of coffee.

"Cas, can you try NOT to burn down the bunker while I'm gone?"

"Of course Dea-"

"Uh CAS?" Hadley's nervous voice cut in. Dean's face changed to concern.

Cas turned to see a frying pan on the stove in flames.

"Cas?" Dean questioned. "What happened?"

"Um, nothing of import!" he said hastily. Cas covered the phone with his hand so that Dean wouldn't hear and turned to Hadley. "Find a fire extinguisher!" he hissed. The girl nodded and took off. Cas sighed and went back to the phone as the wooden spoon resting on the stove caught fire.

"Cas, are you SURE everything is okay?"

"Yes Dean I'm-" Cas caught sight of the growing fire. "-Shit."

"Cas?"

Castiel turned Dean on speaker and dropped his phone on the counter before grabbing a dish towel and trying to pat out the flames.

"CAS?" Dean voice urged.

"Everything's fine!" The dish towel caught fire and Cas dropped it with a yelp, causing the flames to jump up and onto the sleeve of his trenchcoat.

Which, of course, Cas failed to notice.

"Everything's great!" he insisted. "Just a little fire-"

And then Hadley came running back into the room with a fire extinguisher, instantly noticing Cas's flaming coat.

"CAS YOU'RE ON FIRE!" she yelled.

"I am?" he asked in confusion.

Back in the diner, Dean glanced at Sam's confused expression, shot him a deadpan look, turned his phone of speaker, and plunked it down on the table.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. Through the phone, Hadley's freaked out voice was yelling.

"STOP DROP AND ROLL CASSIE! STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

Cas's louder voice continued to shout back.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE!"

Dean's bitchface had been turned to the max. He sighed and began to explain the situation to Sam, unaware that other people were listening in.

"Cas let Hadley work the stove, which is now on fire. Cas attempted to put out the fire, only now he is also on fire and doesn't understand how to stop it. Hadley is just trying to help."

"......Maybe we should call Kevin and get him to stay with them for the rest of the time." Sam suggested.

"Not a bad idea."

Back in the bunker, Hadley finally managed to figure out how to work the fire extinguisher. She sprayed the foamy substance on the stove, killing the flames at last.

"Cassie, hold still!" she ordered before spraying him with the extinguisher, putting out his trenchcoat fire.

"....Is the fire out?" Dean's voice asked through the phone.

"Yes!" they chorused.

"I'll keep the fire extinguisher close for now," Hadley offered. "Just in case." Dean sighed.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Other than a burnt trench coat and a few ruined kitchen utensils, yes." Castiel insisted.

"Good. Now, Hadley, don't use the stove again until I can teach you how it works, okay? And that goes for you too Cas."

"Okay Dean!" Hadley agreed.

"Now-" Dean's words were cut off by a loud BOOM.

Back in the diner, people had gathered around to listen to the hilarious predicament. Dean slowly closed his eyes as Sam looked concerned.

"Cas?" Dean asked.

"Yes Dean?" Cas questioned awkwardly.

"What just happened?"

"Uh...."Cas glanced back at the blackened mess that was the kitchen counter as Hadley crawled out from under the table, where she had dove for cover. "....I might've accidentally blown up the toaster."

Dean facepalmed and Sam choked on his coffee, trying not to laugh.

"Cas." Dean began. "Why don't you and Hadley go out for breakfast? There's a nice diner down the street."

".......That's a good idea. We'll do that."

"And Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"Don't cook anything else in my kitchen."

"Got it."

"Good. Bye Cas."

"Goodbye Dean." They hung up, and the crowd at the diner quickly dispersed. Dean shot a glare at his laughing brother.

"I'll call Kevin." he offered, picking up the phone.