Reminiscence

/ˌreməˈnisəns/

noun

the enjoyable recollection of past events.

Melissa's POV

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I could feel the pain of the knife cutting through my skin; however, my whole entire mind was immobile to fending off the piercing pain due to my inability to open my eyes, much less through my arms at a possible threat. That didn't stop me from releasing loud screams as each layer of skin was cut through in order to reach the bullet that had been lodged within one of my arteries.

My mind received constant flashbacks of my time within entrapment when my own mother would perform such heinous and horrid procedures upon me in order to rate my pain; however, as I felt Ashton's sympathetic gaze and heard his promises of my well-being, I decided that this was not of the same complacency.

While I was in fact finding it hard to even breath due to the nerve singing pain radiating through the course of my body, I recognized that it was for my own good as well as necessary for my survival.

Before the procedure had even begun, I recalled the faint whispers that occurred between Ashton and Moira as they both realized that there was no medical supplies within the household. I had been half tempted to tell them to take me back to the colony, but I realized that going back there would be more of a death sentence than operating upon my arm within these woods.

In an effort to minimize the amount of distress upon the two people who were attempting to save my arm, I had spent the first few minutes of the surgery in unbearable pain with not a single scream exiting my mouth. The occasional whimper seemed to hurt their emotions as I struggled to contain all of the pain that was clearly being inflicted upon my body.

Black was all that covered my vision as I recalled having blacked out, but I assumed that I had never fully lost consciousness as I was lying upon the table being extremely still and unable to do anything while the blade sliced my skin open.

However, soon after Ashton had begun working his was into my skin and attempting to find the bullet that had entered me was when I felt my throat opening and my lungs taking in a large expanse of air. My screams ripped through the silence just as the blade had ripped through my skin only seconds before.

The sound waves caused Moira to flinch away from my body with a yelp as she took in the obvious amount of pain I was enduring while lying before her. Ashton kept moving though, only causing my screams to grow louder and my throat to grow rawer in compliance with my screams echoing through it.

He knew that if he stopped then it would only cause me more pain as I would begin to heal from his prior work, which made him extremely adamant on getting in and out as quickly as possible. His voice whispered sweet promises to me that Luke would arrive shortly and that this all would be over before I knew it.

But I knew that this pain I was enduring would not be over anytime soon as I felt the bullet being removed from its spot and my body begin to bleed without end. I began gasping, not knowing how to react to the fact that my arm was bleeding at that kind of rate when we were unable to control it with the medicines that were normally provided within the colony.

Ashton's curses filled the room as I struggled to get any type of air within my lungs as my screaming persisted, unable to stop my natural reaction to the slow bleeding out of my body. That was when I recalled hearing Luke enter the room with a force so loud that it almost made my beyond weak body cower in fear.

At that point, I wasn't fully sure if I was present within those moments as I felt my eyelids open for the first time within an hour to be met by Luke's blazing blue one's that held the intensity that I had only come to associate with his anger and the hottest of fires when they burned during the winter to keep the colony warm.

Tears were welled up behind his eyes as he stared at me with a mixture of sadness, guilt, pity, and love. I was unable to describe the feeling of his eyes meeting mine as I felt the needle begin to suture my skin back together so that I was able to heal fully without bleeding out any more than I already had.

My lips were parted as I stared into Luke's blue eyes, completely ignoring all of his attempts to speak to me or comfort me as I felt like I was drifting off into some distant land that would be so much more comforting than anything Luke was able to do at that point in time. It was a field that was filled with flowers and sunshine that inevitably gave me peace.

I didn't take note of the types of flowers surrounding me as I stared up into the blue sky that was mostly covered with white, translucent clouds that appeared to be flying by quickly within the atmosphere. The sky at that point was the same color as Luke's eyes, giving me a sense of nostalgia as I was captivated within them.

My heart began beating faster with every second as I was taken back to all those times when I had sat behind a computer screen, staring at pictures of the sky that were taken from the outside world and wondering why I was even created.

The sight of the clouds reminded me of those innocent questions that had filled my brain in my younger years as I wondered how and why a ton of cells and strands of DNA arranged themselves as they did in order to produce me. Those were the types of questions I loved to ask myself as a young child, not because they were profound, but because they were unanswerable.

I loved being able to ask myself a question and not know the answer off of the top of my head as I usually did. The mystery that encompassed the whole universe amazed me and caused me to keep asking questions. Maybe that was why I had subconsciously decided to abide there instead of staying within the realm of reality when the seeping pain took control of me.

Nevertheless, I returned to that reality only a few hours later, finding that I was alone in my bed with Luke sitting in the chair beside it as though he were scared that I would not want him to keep me company in the expanse of the large mattress. I blinked my eyes twice, not sure of the picture I was making out before me.

While I had been praying for Luke to be present for the longest of time, I never realized or accounted for how awkward our reunion would be after he had spent so much time attempting to hide me from the rest of the colony. Despite knowing that it was for my own good, I hated the thought that Luke was ashamed of me to the point that he would hide me away.

Similar to the vision in the field where I reflected upon my childhood, I could see bits and pieces of my younger self's attitude shining through as I recalled the feeling of discontentment in the Brain and Bot program due to the similar issue of being hidden away from society. That was something I clearly never excelled in at any point in my life.

"I'm sorry," he finally stated, breaking the awkward and silent tension that had been building within the room. His body moved slightly closer to me, hoping to be able to take my hand in his own as he spoke. When our bodies came in contact and I allowed him to hold my hand in his, he looked up at me with amazement as though he didn't expect me to forgive him for leaving me in that cabin.

"I thought that I was doing what was honestly best for you," he spoke gently, the tone of his voice indicating remorse and his inability to hide his voice cracks preparing me for some long speech about how he just wanted to protect me. His head fell in between my hands as he looked down in shame.

I moved my free hand through his blonde hair and kept my other hand within his own, knowing that if I were to separate myself from him that it would only cause him to whimper and move closer to my body as he was trying to find solace in my hold. It was as though the guilt weighing upon him made him feel even more emotional than he usually would be in these situations.

"I just wanted you to be safe," he whispered out, finally allowing his voice to fall silent as his heart took on the weight of the world. Even as tired and tortured as he appeared to be in that moonlight coming from my window, he still appeared to be an angel who had merely had his wings clipped when he attempted to fly.

I shook my head at him, not understanding why he was so hell bent upon me being 'safe' when all the while he was running around dodging bullets and threats as though he were invincible. Although I appreciated his love for me and wish for me to be safe and sound, I thought it to be extremely overprotective to hide me within a cabin in the middle of the woods.

"You can't keep me safe all the time," I muttered to him under my breath, feeling his deep sigh emit and hit me as he soaked in my words and allowed them to digest within his system. Those words had always been the hardest for him to hear and face within our relationship, yet each time that I stated them, we always seemed to grow closer and stronger due to them.

"I can try," he attempted to convince me faintly as I simply shook my head in response, reiterating to myself that he was never one to give into my plans so easily - especially with these types of things. Luke, despite all of his amazing qualities that made me fall in love with him every single day, was stubborn and never ceased to amaze me in how difficult he could be in some situations.

"Luke, I know you want to protect me from everything, but that isn't how life was intended to work," I told him, noticing that glint in his eyes that screamed of his willingness to fight about the subject of my well-being. I sighed to myself as I realized that my next statement was not going to go over well with him.

"With that being said, Moira and I will be going on that raid you have planned for tomorrow." Luke's eyes shot open as his head moved so that he could stare into my eyes deeply, his crystal eyes of blue making me slightly cower in the presence of their heat. I had never been one for confrontation, especially with Luke, but I knew that if I didn't tell him at that point then there would be no hope.

"Melissa," he began, running his free hand through his hair and managing to ruffle up his curly locks in the process. "You have been through enough today alone with your mother and getting shot." His voice trailed off with that, not wanting to upset me when it was obvious that he already had.

"I don't really care what you have to say about it," I told him, moving my hand away from his as I sensed the oncoming fight that we were about to have. "If I want to go into a raid, then I have every right to." His face contorted into a grimace, not wanting to hash this out with me in the late hours as he clearly needed his rest.

Multiple sighs left his mouth as he thought of every avenue possible to get out of letting me on the raid that was to occur the next day. I knew Luke like the back of my hand and as he sat there trying to find a reason to hold me back, it became clear by the look of defeat sprouting upon his face that he was unable to find a true reasoning behind not allowing me to go.

I also knew that in my resistance to bend to his command that he would eventually give in as he knew that he needed rest before the very stressful raid and remaining awake in the early hours of the morning would only serve as more of a threat to my safety since he wouldn't be able to protect me from the various advances of the White Coats' army.

He was in a catch eighty-two, and I, even though I was feeling slightly bad for the situation I placed him into, was happy that I would be able to have the outcome that I wished for as I saw defeat well up within his blue orbs. His frame crawled into my bed, moving me slightly so that he was able to hold my body close to his as he drifted off to sleep.

"You're lucky that I love you," he muttered, kissing my forehead lightly as a sign that he had given into my persistent need to follow him into battle and ensure his safety. Not long after those words left his mouth, he was out like a light and shoving his face into my shoulder as he would normally do when we would sleep within the same bed.

I smiled lightly in satisfaction before placing a quick peck upon his cheek and drifting off into a peaceful sleep as I had hoped I would be able to enjoy. Little had I known of all the tragedies that would strike the next day.