Expunge

/ikˈspənj/

verb

erase or remove completely (something unwanted or unpleasant)

The next few weeks were the same as the previous with the exception of Moira being present. While Luke and Calum were huddled away in an attempt to cover up all of the actions being made by the White Coats, Moira and I were bonding, even making time for Riley to join us on our walks through the woods and occasional manicure days within one of rooms.

Those days made Riley so happy as she felt accepted and as though nothing had changed between those days and Ashton's disappearance. I couldn't bring myself to ask the brown haired girl about the words she had spoken to me before about her brother's disappearance, those tragic words when she asked if her brother would ever come back.

How was I supposed to answer her? Was I supposed to lie and tell her that all would be fine, or was I supposed to break her heart and soul by telling her that her older brother, who had raised her all on his own, was not likely returning? My mind was pulled in the logical direction while my heart insisted that I consider the emotional turmoil that telling her that would bring.

Flash forward to a few weeks later when we were all gathered in the media room, taking a well deserved break from our stressful lives. Luke had been the one to suggest it surprisingly. Apparently the weeks of work with Calum as his only company had set Luke into a frenzy that required a day off with his dysfunctional family.

That day was filled with yells and screams as our group took over the expanse of the media room. At first I had found myself looking around for Ashton, remembering the last time I was sat within the room, the way I had stared right through him as I envisioned Michael sitting in his place. Little had I known that I should have taken those moments I had with Ashton and used them to my advantage rather than look for someone that would never be there.

I was seated on the couch, embraced in Luke's arms as Riley ran around the room with various makeup items that I had managed to get her from the colony's inventory of toys. Although I knew that ten was a young age, I felt that if she had time to play with the different shades, maybe she wouldn't overdo her face when she actually began wearing it.

Luke had thrown a fit about it in the beginning when I mentioned it to him, taking on the typical father-like role and stating that she didn't need something on her face to look beautiful, but when I explained that Riley was getting older and was no longer interested in dolls, he seemed to finally understand my proposition.

Nevertheless, with Riley's eleventh birthday coming up within the next week, I felt as though it was important to make her feel as though we were loosening the reigns on what she was allowed to do. So as we sat in the room with Moira and Calum sitting relatively close to each other and speaking to each other calmly with smiles on their faces, Riley was shouting about how she had put the correct eyeshadow colors correctly on her face.

"Good job, Riles," I shouted, looking over my shoulder to find her with browns and natural pinks smeared on her eyelids; however, the colors fit in the same theme, which was a major improvement from her previous decision to place heavy amounts of black and yellow on her eyelids as she ran around shouting the colors repeatedly in rhythm like the song.

Luke rolled his eyes and let out a huff of air, making me slap his chest in protest to his obnoxious behavior. Meanwhile, Calum and Moira seemed to be having an in depth conversation on the couch beside us. Occasionally I would catch Moira tilting her head back and laughing at a joke Calum said, which I found to be odd because his jokes always sucked.

"So what are you all doing next week?" Luke finally asked, hesitant to bring up Riley's eleventh birthday party around the birthday girl herself. While Luke was obviously tense, thinking that Riley would catch on to his questions, the girl was preoccupied with the removal of her previous masterpiece in order to begin again with a new color scheme.

Calum looked away from Moira for the first time within the hour, seeming too interested in the mixed girl to want to talk to the blonde haired boy before him. However, when he looked away, he was completely engaged in his conversation with Luke, stating in a covert way that he and Moira planned on attending the small celebration of her birth.

I narrowed my eyes at Moira as the conversation between Luke and Calum went down, my friendly instincts of her and Calum dating rising as his arm casually slipped around her waist and pulled her into his side. She blushed under my stare, glancing at the space where their bodies were connected before nodding her head at me as though to confirm my question.

As I continued to stare at her, she seemed to read my mind and raise her index finger as though to say one day, or did she mean one week? I nodded my head but followed the action by mouthing the words 'talk later,' which she nodded at quickly.

Although the interaction was short lived, it was relieving to know that Calum had moved past Janice. Even though I doubted that the two of them would go very far, purely due to the stressful times, I was happy to know that Calum had managed to gain some closure in Janice's departure.

While Calum and Moira continued in their discussion and Riley played within the color palettes of makeup, Luke looked over at me with gentle and curious eyes. My eyebrows furrowed at this, knowing that something was about to be revealed to me and I was unsure about how I felt about the subject matter.

"What is it?" I asked him, moving my body so that I was able to stare directly into his blue eyes and give him all of my attention. Meanwhile, Luke was shifting his body as he felt the nerves settle into his system. I knew that nothing Luke could do would break us apart; however, I felt my heart break slightly at the sight of him looking so uncomfortable about something.

"It has to do with the Code," he finally said, causing a gasp to release from my mouth as I thought of all of the things I could have done wrong to cause a problem to ensue, but he calmed me before I could jump to the worst conclusions. "You did nothing wrong," he whispered, trying not to attract any of the group's attention as he pulled me closer to him, whispering into my ear.

"It's the serum that is injected into people," he murmured, placing a kiss onto my cheek as he tried to make the encounter look as innocent as possible for Riley's sake. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion from his words, but I instantly released them as I realized that our cuddling was only a facade for Calum and Moira, which meant that Calum didn't know about this thing.

I flipped around, placing a sweet kiss on Luke's lips before hiding my face into his neck and asking the question rattling my brain at that moment. "Why doesn't Calum know?" I asked, hearing a sigh pass through his lips as his arms tightened around my waist.

"Because it's confidential information and I can't tell him," he whispered into my ear, going on to say the scariest words that I had ever heard uttered from his plush lips. "I can't tell anyone." A lump in my throat inhibited my breathing as I nodded, signalling that I understood what he was asking of me in that moment. Nothing was to be said of this conversation again within the walls of the colony.

"The genetic engineers within the city limits are working on a cure to inject into everyone to reverse the effects of the serum," he said barely audible. I had to focus intently on his voice to even recognize the words escaping his mouth despite his close proximity to me. Something was off about the statement and his reaction to it.

Genetic engineers I could understand because the serum was a genetic modifier, meaning the only way to reverse its effects was to change every person's genetic code in a similar manner. However, his words about the serum being made by those engineers outside of the colony made red flags raise within my head. Even worse, he said they were within the city limits, meaning they had the serum in their veins.

"They aren't-" My words stopped halfway through my sentence, realization of their willingness to provide a safe contra action for the citizens of both the colony and the White Coats' regime. "You're letting them do this," I asked him in an angered tone but still recognizing that we had to keep our voices down.

"What was I supposed to say?" he questioned back, his lips coming in contact with my ear as he sense that I was outraged with his unethical decision. "Melissa, they want to help," he stated roughly into my ear as if trying to make me understand his decision and that he wasn't a horrible human being.

"It's the same as offering to be in the army, Melissa," he pleaded, not wanting this to become a wedge between us. While I heard the words that were exiting his mouth and I understood them completely, even agreeing with his rationale, my mind was stuck on the fact that I was an experiment for the White Coats not long ago.

I lifted my head, showing him my tear stained eyes before whispering that I needed to think and walking out of the room quickly so that I could go over the thoughts in my head. As soon as I stepped out of the room, I realized my mistake. That was the only conversation Luke and I would ever have about the serum and I wasted it by walking out of the room from my short temper.

"Fucking idiot," I mumbled to myself as I made my way down the hallways with extreme denial and hatred for myself infecting my brain. As I arrived at the shared room of mine and Luke's I found myself taking a shower and laying down in the bed half trying to forget the conversation, half trying to think of a rational to get me past the thought of someone testing experimental drugs on themselves.

I felt my throat close up in worry as I thought of the effects that could have on those people. They could turn into an autistic adult, placing them onto a list of inadequate people to exterminate. On the other hand, they would be the first to experience the full knowledge capasities of their brain as they were injected with the serum upon birth.

Despite the obvious gains that the scientists would receive, there I was, lying on bed and trying to determine that if I was in their position, would I want someone to intervene? Would I want someone to stop me from putting myself in danger? The obvious answer would be yes, but then I had to think of their lives.

Those genetic engineers most likely had children, most of them probably watched with tears in their eyes as the smartest of the two was stripped of their freedom and taken away to control the other's brain.

The same people who had witnessed that atrocity by the government were currently trying to break the stamina of certain people being smarter by allowing everyone to reach their full potential, not just the potential that the government wanted them to. That was what made me decide to stay put and keep them safe by neglecting to bring it up to Luke again.

They were trying to save their children, and if I could have children, I would do the same for them.