It's midnight and the party hasn't died down once. If anything, they cranked the stereo up to a thousand.

Tyler is dancing with one of his friends to this song called Ain't My Type of Hype, surrounded by a crowd of guys and girls bouncing to the beat while cheering them on.

I see feet shuffling and hands clapping before rushing into a series of sideways elbow thrusts. There's also this move they call the windshield wiper which is like the sprinkler but in a circular motion.

Tyler took off his jacket and tossed it to me a while ago, showing off his sweat-soaked t-shirt and thin frame.

My eyes are starting to burn from staring without blinking. I'm not blinking because I know I'll get more tired and possibly fall asleep.

I squeeze my eyelids shut and take deep breaths in—one, two, three—and out—one, two, three. With my eyes shut, I feel like I'm in a bathtub full of water. I'm lying on the tub's floor, staring at the ceiling light swaying against the tides.

Then I open them and I'm thrown back into a place that I don't want to be.

"Regina," I call for my sister, but she doesn't hear me. Tommy is dancing beside her and he has her full attention.

"Trey, hit the Kid 'n Play," Tyler spoke over the music.

When I look at Tyler, he and his friend are kicking shoes. They'll hop backward, hop forwards to kick shoes, hop backward again, then hook hands when they approach each other and lock shoes.

Now all eyes are on them, but I'm not cheering or smiling.

I look around the room, they're all bouncing to the rhythm including Regina and Tommy. He has his arm around her waist and his hat covering his cornrows.

There are people of all shades and sizes, but even though Regina is probably the youngest high schooler, she fits in better than most would expect. She looks her age at home—even with the toned legs and shoulder blades—but here, she's dressed and acting like her senior friends.

I can't see anyone remotely close to my age.

Khadijah glances at me with a grin that turns into a confused expression when she does a double-take. My shoulders are slumped forward and I'm practically melted into the soft cushions.

She follows my eyes to Regina, then we look at each other again. She must've taken that as me saying I want her attention, because she calls for her, "Regina?" Tommy is slowly spinning her in front of him and staring at her figure like she's a tiny ballerina doll. "Gina!"

They stop dancing to turn to her, and she even catches Raven's attention. Khadijah gestures toward me with her head until Regina looks at me.

Her shoulders and chest are rising and falling fast. Out of everyone, she and Tommy have been consistently moving quicker and harder than their friends.

She walks towards me with her Styrofoam cup in one hand and her hip in the other.

"Squeak, what's wrong?" I shrug, then drop my gaze to Tyler's jacket on my lap. She takes a deep breath and sits beside me. She's leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and staring me in the face. "You gonna be real with me or do I gotta figure this shit out myself? If it's the latter, I will get my ass back on the dance floor right now."

I look to my left without raising my head and notice her exposed stomach. Her skin is so sweaty that I think one of the reasons she doesn't want to recline is because she'll stain his mom's couch.

"I wanna go home." I look at her face right when she furrows her eyebrows. She glances left, right, then back to me and shakes her head like she's asking why, so I say, "I'm the only middle schooler here. This sucks; I wanna go home."

"Girl, why didn't you say something?" She sits up straight and scans the room. "Tommy's cousin's cousin is here," she says, and I scrunch my face. "Y'all are around the same age."

"His cousin's cousin," I repeat and she nods, still looking around. "Wouldn't that just make her his cousin too?"

"Nah, different parents." That only confuses me even more and I don't hide it on my face. Tommy is kneeling in front of the fridge, and right when she turns her eyes to the kitchen, he stands up with a Styrofoam cup in hand. "Tommy, come here right quick!"

His eyes meet hers without having to find her or figure out who called him. Even in a loud room, he knows her voice.

He shuts the fridge and walks to her.

"Didn't you say your cousin's cousin is here?" I scratch the top of my head. I don't wanna overthink it, but every time she mentions that I feel my head throb.

"Yeah, Stefanie is upstairs with her crew." He takes a sip from his cup. "Why?"

"My sister, Leila, isn't feeling being the youngest here," she says, and he glances at me. "Can you see if she'll let Leila play dolls with her or something?"

"I don't play with dolls." Regina whips her head to me. She lets out a chuckle that sounds like a scoff.

"Since when," she asks, Tommy looks at me.

"Um, since forever?" I chuckle too but it's dry. Her smile fades as she stares at me and my eyebrows twitch. I say, "Okay, maybe since I was eight," but it doesn't change her attitude.

"A'ight, I'll go see if she's cool with you going up there." He takes a few steps back, eying us while we stare at each other, and then he turns around and heads upstairs.

"I didn't wanna say anything while he was here, so keep that in mind when I have this discussion with you," she says.

"What," I chuckle awkwardly. She pinches her nose bridge and squeezes her eyes shut. "What discussion?"

"Who are you, Leila?" She drops that hand and sits it with the other on her cup. "Is that even your name?"

"No, my name isn't Leila," I say without hesitating. "My name's actually Mandy and I'm from Texas. I moved here because my real family is dead." Her face relaxes. She looks me up and down, her nostrils flaring with each deep inhale. I roll my eyes and groan. "Gina, I'm kidding."

"Yo!" I flinch and turn to the stairs, but she doesn't look away from me. He fans me over with his free hand and as I slide Tommy's jacket onto the seat beside me, I glance at my sister. I sprint toward him and he says, "Third door on the right."

He walks past me as the song changes to The Humpty Dance. He and Regina return to the dance floor with her hand in his, but she doesn't look as genuinely happy as she was before.

I walk up the steps, taking deep breaths, and I try to imagine how she'll look.

Does she have braids and beads too, or long straight hair? Is her skin as dark as Hershey's or as light as caramel? Is she tall and skinny like Tyler, or short and chubby like the kid in my class?

I follow his instructions to a partially open door. I see colorful lights flickering like the disco ball at the skating rink.

I push the door back and lock eyes with the prettiest girl I've ever seen. She has honey-brown pigtails, hazel-brown eyes, and dark brown skin.

She's sitting on her carpet, forming a circle with her four friends.

"Hey," she greets me with a smile, and they turn their heads to look at me. "You must be Leila. Come in, come in!"

I step in and shut the door.

"Thank God," one mumbles. "I was ready to go home a minute ago. That music is way too loud."

"I know," another girl says. "I honestly think they turned it up that high because their hearing is jacked."

I lean my back against the door and even though my skin is vibrating from the song booming downstairs, I don't move.

She looks like she could be in an old Disney Channel show or a magazine. She has a cherub face but sits tall like she's a freshman in high school.

"Is she gonna stand there all night," the first girl mumbles, and two others snicker.

"Chill out." They listen to Stefanie and stop laughing but their smiles don't leave their faces. She waves me over and I push myself off the door to walk around the circle. She takes my hand and sits me beside her. "Leila, don't mind these idiots. They can't help it."

"It's fine," I say with a forced smile. They have a set of furry toys from a box lying behind Stefanie. The box has one left doll in it.

"I guess I should introduce you since cat got their tongues," Stefanie says. "This is Georgia, Whitney, Sandra, and Veda"

"Veda like the girl in the movie My Girl," I ask the only redhead in the group. She makes a face and glances at Georgia who shrugs. I clear my throat and say, "Nice to meet you all."

"How old are you?" I look at Sandra. She has a black bowl cut and thin-framed glasses with thick lenses.

"I'm thirteen," I answer and she snickers. I look around at the others. "What?"

"You look older," Georgia tells me. I crack a smile and straighten my posture. "It's not a compliment."

My grin fades.

"So, like, when'd you get your hair braided?" I lick my lips and bite my lower one to avoid saying something I'll regret. I force a smile at Georgia, but before I can answer her, Veda reaches her hand toward my head.

I flinch into Stefanie, and then Georgia reaches across her to touch the top of my hair.

"It's not ugly or anything, but," Veda says, but Sandra interrupts her.

"Yes, it is." I cut my eyes at Sandra and she narrows hers at me. Georgia twirls the curls around my hairline and temple.

"And really greasy." I look at Georgia as she removes her hand and rubs her fingers together with a disgusted face.

"The beads are cute though," Sandra tells me. I turn my head to Stefanie and she's brushing her toy's fur.

Her group reminds me of Melissa and her friends. They say whatever they think and laugh when you take it to heart.

I think about Keenan. He's probably in bed and here I am at a party I wasn't even supposed to be at. He was on my case for pretending to be someone I'm not for Troy, I can only imagine how he'll grill me for this.

"I like your Calico Critters," I tell Stefanie, and she stops brushing. She looks at me without lifting her head.

"What?" I glance at the others and so does she.

"The dolls." She stares at the furry animals and then at the box behind her. "I was saying I like them. I've been asking for a set for, like, a year." Stefanie sets her doll and brush in front of her crossed legs, turns at the hips, and then lifts the white and green box. "I even asked my grandparents for one, but," my voice trails off when I see the name of the toys.

Sylvanian Families.

My ears perk up when Georgia asks, "What's a Calico Critter?"

"I think I just confused it with these toys I saw on TV," I mumble, and Stefanie snickers.

"I don't see how. My mom bought me this when she went to Japan for a business trip." I lick my lips and slouch. "They're only sold in Japan; Super rare, not like those ugly Cabbage Patch dolls."

"Oh, my God, my little sister has one," Veda says. "Literally ew."

Stefanie takes the lid off the box and lifts the doll. It's a dark brown animal that looks like a mole rat in a tux and beret.

"You can be this one." She extends it to me and I lift an eyebrow.

"It's a boy, though," I say, and Georgia chuckles. I side-eye her and Sandra.

"Yeah, but, like, you kind'a look like a boy and your voice is deeper than ours." I stare at Stefanie, then down at my clothes: My black, baggy shirt with Alf on the cover, my denim shorts and white tube socks stopping at my knees, and my flame-red sneakers.

I don't say anything. My lips and tongue feel dry, and my throat closes like I'm having an allergic reaction.

I take the doll and stare at it with my elbows on my knees.

"Okay, so, I'll fill you in on what we're doing," Stefanie says. "So, we just got off a plane flying to Brazil, got waxed and our nails done. Now, we're going shopping."

"Oh, she can be the driver!" Veda sounds more excited than anyone else.

"Nah, I think she should carry our bags," Georgia says.

"Or she can do both," Whitney mumbles and we all look at her. She didn't speak once until now and, of course, she joins them.

My chest hurts like I'm being stabbed, yet my body is glued to the floor. I want to get up, throw the doll at Stefanie's head, and storm out, but I can't move. I feel like I'm in the movie Get Out; it's like I'm in The Sunken Place.