Okay, this fic ain't sad, just some Patlucina. Will indent when I get time. And yes, its based off that Simpsons meme-

Ding dong!

The moment the bell rang, Palutena jumped up excitedly, waved her staff changing her usual outfit into a white business suit and dashed towards the palace's door as if the ice cream truck had arrived before throwing it open. Standing in the door way was a young woman with long, choppy blue hair held back by a tiara with a pair of bright blue eyes, her right having the Mark of Exalt in a dark blue business suit with a frown on her face.

"Well Palutena, I've made it, despite your directions." Lucina muttered.

"Ah, Princess Lucina, welcome! I hope you're ready for an unforgettable luncheon!" The goddess exclaimed. The King's daughter rolled her eyes before following Palutena into the grand dining room. "You just wait here, I'll be right back!" She said with a wink.

You see, Palutena wanted a more peaceful way to get money instead of having Pit getting nearly beaten to death fighting the Forces Of Nature for hearts since she loves her angel (as a son, so chill) so she decided to take up a part-time job as head marketer in Chrom's new business. Lucina happened to be her dad's super attendant who barely talked to her, so she decided to invite the princess for lunch as a way of breaking the ice. Not to mention the Goddess the fact had a huge crush on Lucina and this would be a great opportunity to grow closer to the bluette.

Palutena skipped into the kitchen only to halt upon seeing smoke coming out of her oven. She gasped and opened it to see her pot pie burning. "Oh ye Gods, my Vegetable Surprise is ruined!" She cried in despair while leaning on the window still dramatically only for her eyes to catch a solution to her problem. "But what if I were to order take out from Centurion Cheeseburgers and disguise it as my own cooking?" She thought out loud while gazing at the diner across the street. Making up her mind, she giggled and picked up her staff. "How delightfully devilish of you, Palutena! Hades would definitely approve!" Palutena said with a smirk, about to teleport herself when-

"Ah Palutena, I was just wondering- Just what are you doing?" A voice called behind her. As if she had been caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, Palutena whirled around to see the princess who she was heads over heals for with her arms crossed and a look of confusion etched on her face.

"Princess, I can explain! You see, I was going to magic up some wine! Can't have a good meal without some ice cold beverages, right?" Palutena asked with a nervous laugh.

"First, I would prefer being called Lucina. Second, why is there smoke coming out of your oven?" Lucina asked, pointing to the clear evidence in front of her.

"Oh, that's not smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mm! Steamed clams!" The goddess answered, rubbing her stomach for exaggeration.

As if she wasn't entirely convinced, Lucina frowned and left the kitchen. Palutena let out a sigh of relief before waving her staff and teleporting to the front of the line in the diner. "Give me the best cheeseburgers you have with a two sides of poutine!" She exclaimed, slapping the hearts on the counter in desperation. Despite the cries of protest from the Centurions behind her, the cashier had no choice but to have the Goddess's order done first, if he didn't want to be punished. Because which Centurion who would dare disobey a lesbian Goddess in a business suit?

Upon successfully completing her little sin, Palutena walked back into the diner with a golden tray holding some hamburgers, poutine and wine, because she didn't want the princess to grow even more suspicious if she didn't have the wine she promised.

"Prince- I mean Lucina! I hope you're ready for some mouth-watering hamburgers!" The goddess announced.

"I thought we were having steamed clams?" Lucina asked while unfolding a napkin in her lap.

"Oh no, I said "Steamed Hams". That's what I call hamburgers." The Goddess explained.

"You call hamburgers "Steamed Hams"?" The princess asked with another frown on her face, saying the word slowly to try it out (yes I know she frowns a lot in this fic so shut up).

"Yes, it's a regional dialect." Palutena answered.

"Uh huh. What region?" Lucina asked before taking a sip of her wine.

Oh dear. Looks like one little white lie lead to a huge problem for the goddess. "Um, Skyworld?" Palutena said, though it came out like a question.

"Really? Well I'm from Ylisse and I've never heard another use the phrase "steamed hams". Lucina replied, air quoting the made up word.

"Oh, you won't hear it on Ylisse, or anywhere on for a fact Earth since it's an expression only us Gods use." Palutena said.

The princess muttered something under her breath before take a bite out of the cheeseburger. "You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Centurion's Cheeseburgers." Lucina commented as the took of the bun of the burger as if to show Palutena something.

In shock, the Goddess choked on her poutine and started coughing on the fry caught in her throat. Concerned, Lucina got up and patted her back until Palutena managed to swallow the fry. "Are you alright?" The princess asked the Goddess.

Gods, what a cute face the princess made when she was worried. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. So, you've been to the diner across the street?" Palutena slowly asked.

"Why yes. My hotel happened to be right next to fast food chain, so I thought I might try one of Skyworld's famous burgers I've heard Pit talk about in Smash." Lucina explained.

"I-I see." Palutena muttered while pinching herself at her stupidity. Why was she cursed with such terrible culinary skills? If she hadn't been, she would never have gotten herself in such a pickle. "Anyways, these aren't from there, they're Goddess Cheeseburgers! Old family recipe." She lied.

"For Steamed Hams?" Lucina asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Yes," Palutena said with a nod.

"And you call them Steamed Hams despite the fact they're obviously grilled." The princess added, showing the grill marks on the burger.

"Ye- I- You know-" Palutena stuttered before wiping her mouth to buy herself time to make up an excuse. "One thing I should-" The Goddess paused again before standing up. "Please excuse me for a moment, Princess." She muttered as she hurried to the kitchen's door where smoke was leaking out to be greeted with a huge fire. She struggled for a few minutes, trying to fan out the flames before finally giving up, deciding spending time with her co-worker and crush was more important than the fate of her palace. The Goddess casually walked back to the princess who had finished her food.

Palutena faked a yawn and stretched. "Well, that was wonderful, a good time was had by all, I'm pooped." She said with an almost painful smile.

"Yes, I should probably get- Lady Naga! What is that?!" Lucina exclaimed pointing to the fumes that was now somehow over their heads. "And what is going on there?!" She demanded, pointing to the source of the smoke.

Crap.

"Aurora borealis." Palutena said quickly. Yeah it's pathetic, but what else could she say? There's a huge lovely bonfire burning in my kitchen?

Lucina was stunned. "Uh, Aurora borealis? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the universe ,localized entirely in your kitchen?" She pressed.

"Yes?" Palutena lied again.

"Do you mind if I were to see it?" Lucina slowly asked.

"No..." Palutena muttered, trying not to cry.

Unsure what to say, Lucina shrugged it off and started to head to the main gates. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Palutena tagged behind her.

"Lady Palutena! The palace is on fire!" Pit cried.

"No Pit, it's just the northern lights." Palutena called back.

Lucina gave the goddess a warm smile. "Well Palutena, you're an odd fellow, but I must say, you sure know how's to steam a good ham." She complimented.

"Aw, thanks!" Palutena exclaimed, stretching her hand out to shake it.

Lucina stared at the offered hand before smirking. "Actually, I have another way of saying farewell to special co-workers." She mused before stepping closer to her and cupping the Goddess's face.

Palutena frowned. "What are you- Mmf?!" Before she could finish her sentence, Lucina gently pressed her lips against her own. Instantly, Palutena face heated up from the kiss. Lucina's tongue glossed over the goddess's lower lip, causing the other to moan softly. Finally, Lucina pulled away. "See you around, Palutena." She said with a chuckle before leaving the stunned Goddess behind.

Palutena dropped to her knees while mentally fangirling in reaction, completely ignoring the Pit's and the Centurion's cries of help.