Chapter Eight:

Going back to school was like learning how to walk. It took a lot of self motivation to finally get out of bed. It took a lot of determination to take a shower. It took a lot of courage to do my hair and get dressed.
I decided to skip breakfast this morning. I ended up giving all my food to Banjo so Dad didn't think something was up. Banjo gladly accepted it, however he commented on how I still needed to eat something so I just ate one of the pieces of toast so he wouldn't tell on me.
The toast sat in my stomach like a rock.
I went back upstairs and brushed my teeth again after eating the toast. I stared at myself in the mirror again, glaring at my appearance.
Why did I have to look like such a mess?
I sighed and looked down for a moment, seeing Banjo's razor sitting on the edge of the sink. I stared at it, the blades sitting tightly in the razor. How hard would it be to take it apart without Banjo noticing?
I backed away and shook my head. No... I shouldn't be thinking that. There's no reason I should be thinking that. I'm not like that. I'm not like Dad.
I quickly walked out of the bathroom and closed the door. I took a deep breath to try and regain my composure, and, when I did, I went back downstairs. I saw Banjo swinging his backpack over his shoulder and he sent me a glance, rolling his eyes.
"Jesus, took you long enough. Let's go, we're gonna be late," Banjo growled. I nodded and grabbed my backpack following him out the door.
"Where's Kazooie?" I asked him.
"None of your fucking business. Where's your boyfriend?" Banjo growled, glaring at me from where he sat.
"First off, it's Cree and he's not my boyfriend. Second off, none of your business," I said, glaring at him back.
I figured Banjo and Kazooie had another falling out like they usually did once in a while. I figured it was the same thing that usually happened. Banjo got jealous, he confronted Kazooie, and started a pointless argument resulting in the silent treatment from Kazooie.
I didn't push him, knowing all too well the consequences of pushing Banjo's buttons while he was upset about Kazooie. He already drove aggressively to school, slamming on his breaks and pushing the gas pedal all the way to the floor. Might as well not add to it and heighten the risk of a car accident.
Once the ride was over, I immediately opened the door and grabbed my backpack, stumbling away from Banjo's car. Usually I'd wait for him and walk behind him into the school but today I wasn't gonna risk getting beaten up before school.
I walked into the building, seeing all the freshman gather around their classes while they waited for the teachers to arrive. I ducked my head and walked to my locker, hoping nobody recognized me and made fun of me.
"Hey, look, it's pukey! Gonna keep your breakfast down today or not?" Someone called out.
So much for that.
I ignored the jabs and just continued my way to my locker. I quickly did my combination and threw my backpack inside, collecting my things for Earth Science and immediately walking away from the insults and taunts.
I stood outside the room with my classmates. I watched a lot of them shift away from me and I felt the embarrassment take over again. I brought out my phone, texting Cree, even though I knew he probably wouldn't respond.
I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for the teacher to show up. All I wanted to do was sit in my usual seat and get the class started so everyone would stop treating me like an outcast.
Eventually, the teacher showed up and unlocked the door for the students. Everyone flooded in, taking their seats and whipping out their phones or talking to their peers.
However as I walked in, the teacher held me back.
"Hey, Oliver, next time, if you feel sick, can you please let me know? I feel like that entire ordeal could've been prevented. Plus, I'm now a day behind in my teachings because I had to move the class and let them have a study hall," The teacher said.
Even the teacher hates me for it...
"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry. It kind of happened all of a sudden. I promise I'll let you know next time," I told her, bowing my head in embarrassment. She grunted and held the door open for me, of which I scurried in and held my head down, taking my seat.
It was an entire minute before I got another insult.
"I'm just gonna leave this here, ya know, just in case you feel sick," A boy said, setting a trash can down next to me. Everyone started laughing at the boys joke and he joined in, taking his seat again. I felt heat rise up in my cheeks and I immediately picked up the garbage can and set it back in its rightful place.
I sat back down crossing my arms and wishing I had my headphones to block out everyone's taunts. I fought back tears and reminded myself that it'd get easier. If Banjo could get bullied for eight years and then become the most popular kid in his class, than who's to say I can't do the same.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked back, preparing my best glare for whoever was gonna make fun of me again. However, my eyes locked with Crete's blue ones, and I felt my heart begin to do its sped up rhythm.
"Hey. How you feeling?" Crete asked politely.
I blinked at his kindness. Since I walked into school today, nobody bothered asking me that question. So, when I finally heard it, and especially from Crete, it made me momentarily forget about all the insults and taunts that I'd already gotten today.
"Uh, fine I suppose. I think I just ate something bad yesterday," I told him, feeling horrible that I was already lying to him.
"Oh. Yeah... You know, I've never seen anyone barf that much before. It was crazy," Crete said, treating it like it was some big trophy.
I again felt embarrassment rise inside me and I shrugged, wanting to curl up into a ball and hide myself. Crete smirked and gently put a finger under my chin, making me look at him.
"Anyway, I hope you and I are still on for Homecoming," Crete said.
What? He was being serious?
"Uh... I suppose if you really want to go with me," I said.
"Of course I want to go with you. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you," Crete said, smugly. He smiled and pinched my cheek again before turning his attention to the teacher as she started roll call.
Throughout class I worked in silence, however my mind was automatically drawn to Crete every time I heard the squeak of his pencil on the paper, or the sound of him erasing something, or his little sniffles since he had a small cold. Usually I'd find these things annoying, but since it was Crete making those noises, it felt oddly calming and soothing.
My mind kept drifting to other thoughts that had absolutely nothing to do with topographic maps. I thought about homecoming and how I may end up dancing with Crete. I wondered how everyone would react around us. By now, I knew everyone knew that Crete was bisexual and mostly everyone didn't mind or thought it was pretty cool. But, what would they think of me?
What is my sexuality?
I didn't want to think about this topic. It scared me to say the least. Thinking that I might not be completely straight was a horrifying idea to me. And it wasn't because I didn't like gays. Hell... I'd be quite the hypocrite if that were the case. It was because it could cause a lot of problems for my dads, and myself, and possibly even Banjo.
The bell rang and I immediately stood up, gathering my things together. The teacher reminded us of our homework that we had over the weekend and told us to have a good time at the dance. I sighed and walked out of the room, ignoring the taunts directed my way.
However, before I even left the room, I felt a hand grasp my butt and I jumped. Whipping around and getting ready to confront anyone who touched it.
It was Crete.
"See you at the dance," He said, winking and walking out of the room.
What did I get myself into?

I threw my backpack on the chair next to the door and took a deep breath. All day, I was picked on and even threatened when I tried to stand up for myself. Right now, all I wanted to do was relax and unwind from the horrible day.
I walked past the living room and I was surprised to see Daddy sitting in there. I stopped outside the entrance and looked inside, watching whatever he was watching.
It wasn't the usual things that he watched. It was actually home videos from when Banjo and I were really little. I walked into the room, going around and sitting on one of the chairs that surrounded the tv.
"Why are you watching home videos?" I asked. Daddy shrugged and paused the video, turning to me.
"How was school?" He asked.
"I'd rather not talk about it," I muttered.
"You sure, bud?" Daddy asked. I nodded and he gave me a small smile and unpaused the video.
I watched it with him, not caring that I wasn't exactly doing what I wanted right now. But, the home videos were kind of therapeutic and got my mind off of my terrible day. Plus, Daddy was acting weird and he seemed like he needed company so might as well be the person to give him that company.
I watched as the video changed, presenting younger versions of Daddy and Banjo. The camera shook slightly, telling me Dad was probably video taping. I was about to ask where I was when I realized how young Banjo was, telling me I probably wasn't born yet.
However, I smiled when I saw Daddy rocking Banjo gently in the recliner that we still had in the living room. Banjo was probably only two or three years old at the time so he was still tiny enough to fit perfectly in Daddy's arms.
"Are you feeling okay, Banjo?" I heard Dad say from behind the camera.
Banjo tilted his head up from where it was nestled in Daddy's chest, revealing his chubby baby face. He made a strange face before sitting up more and throwing up.
I started giggling than as I watched Dad set the camera down and begin scrambling about, trying to find something for Banjo to throw up in. Daddy was holding Banjo out before giving up and just cupping his hands and telling him to throw up in that.
I looked over at Daddy then seeing him holding back a laugh. He made a cringy face, telling me he probably regretted the choices he made in this video.
"It took so long to clean all that puke up," Daddy said. I laughed at that, making him laugh as well.
The next video that came on was probably the funniest in my opinion. It started off with Daddy leaning over the railing that led down to our backyard. He had an exhausted look on his face but he nevertheless was laughing.
"Now there is no doubt in my mind that he is defiantly your son," Daddy said.
The camera panned over to the backyard where there was a patch of dead, blackened grass and a pile of burnt wood. Next to that was me, as a little baby, sucking on a binky and playing with plastic car keys. Dad walked over to me and got a close up of the damage, which was now revealed to be a couple of wooden lawn chairs and a small table. Dad started laughing and he panned the camera over to me, recording me as I started to laugh as well.
"You are gonna be such trouble when you grow up," Dad said.
We continued watching the videos, watching all of the memories made over the years unfold in front of our eyes. I watched Banjo and I grow up in every video. I watched as I accepted award after award at my old schools award ceremony.
I almost started crying as I watched myself accept the plaque that I got last year for maintaining a perfect average throughout all of middle school. It was difficult, oh so difficult, but I did it and proved to everyone that I was superior.
It was the one time in my life that I didn't feel small.
Now, I was a small fish in a big pond. I was the smallest fish in the biggest pond and I was gonna get eaten alive if I didn't do something.
Suddenly I heard a quiet sobbing noise and I looked over to see Daddy quietly crying. I instantly became worried. I had never seen Daddy cry before. It was almost unheard of.
"Daddy... Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah... I'm fine, Oliver. I just miss how things used to be," Daddy told me. He paused the video again, wiping away his tears. He looked over at me, his brown eyes suddenly a lot brighter.
"Do you think your Dad will ever forgive me?" Daddy asked.
It was a genuine question. So, I figured he deserved a genuine answer.
"I don't know, Daddy. I suppose he could, but it's gonna take a lot of work and a lot of time. You'll probably have to do some crazy things but I'm sure in the end, you two will be a happy couple again," I told him.
Daddy nodded and sighed. I got up and went over to him, sitting down next to him. I instantly wrapped my arms around him, feeling him do the same to me. I held onto him like I used to whenever he used to carry me around as a toddler. And he held onto me like if he let go, everything in his life would disappear.
And... Maybe it would if he did let go.
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So, I'm really trying to get into the swing of writing again but it's getting pretty difficult.
Also, I'm really only interested in writing my depression stories, which would be this story and The Boy Next Door. So, if you've been following my other stories, you've probably noticed I stopped updating a couple of them (mainly because I have no idea of where I want it to go).
Alright, I feel like I'm rambling.
Thanks for reading.